A+ Lady Leader Series - Relating to Others

If I asked you what your #1 job as a leader is, what would you say?
 
I reckon there are heaps of possible answers.

• Solve problems
• Balance the budget
• Keep everything running smoothly
• Serve the mission and vision of your organization
• Just survive each day

​The 2 Biggies
Those are all important task of a leader. I believe though, with my whole heart, that to do more than just survive, that there 2 critical jobs or skills you must master. They are:

• To grow yourself
• To grow others

 
Leadership Competencies
Over the last few weeks in the Excellence in Leadership series, we have been focusing improving yourself so that you can be an A+ Lady Leader. I’ve asked you to consider the skills you need to work on, to have the impact you desire. These skills hail from The Leadership Circle Profile. This is a 360 tool I use with my Lady Leaders who join the Women with Grit Program.
 
The Leadership Circle measures a set of well-researched competencies that gauge how leaders achieve results, bring out the best in others, lead with vision, enhance their own development, act with integrity, and encourage and improve organizational systems.
 
Relating well to others is critical
This week we are moving on to the set of abilities around Relating to others. Being strong in relating, is all about bringing out the best in people, groups, and organizations.

A leader who is good at relating is

• warm and inviting
• open and respectful
• empathetic and compassionate

 
They see others as

• individuals
• with something to offer
• with a potential not yet reached
• with some needs that they can help that individual with

 
Learn to put your focus on your people
When you are good at relating you intentionally focus on people. You realize that as your people develop so does your team's capacity and thus your team success. Developing your team members goes back to what I stated at the beginning; a critical skill in leadership is the ability to grow others. However, to be good at relating you must accept both yourself and others.
 
You can't only focus on being liked
Some leaders find they struggle with relationships for a couple of reasons. First, they may be focused more on getting along with people, but so much so that it is at the cost of achieving results. If you find yourself here, you may tend to play it safe in relationships, sugarcoat messages and fail to speak up when necessary. You struggle to build effective relationships when it’s all about complying, pleasing and fitting in.

It's not about controlling them either
Alternately you may find yourself less of a pushover, and more controlling, Here you tell others what to do and don't ask for others opinions. You are a take-charge kind of gal who speaks directly and bluntly. You see relationships as a means to an end. You're nice, just to get the job done. If you find yourself in this situation, you might also notice that when you feel challenged and threatened by others, you become defensive. You may discount or ignore negative feedback.You aren't growing your team when you never let them do anything or make any mistakes.
 
Finding the balance
It is a balancing act to achieve high results and relate well others. As such, it takes practice to find that point where you can hold both a commitment to achieving high results and a focus on developing your people. Take the time to learn how to focus on your team members and you'll see them grow, so you can achieve the results.

To grow yourself in the area of relating well to others, focus on the following 5 skills :

Caring connection
Form warm and caring relationships in which you connect deeply and have compassion for those on your team.
 
Foster team play
You are fostering a high-performance team when you create a positive climate, promote teamwork and share leadership.
 
Collaborator
An excellent collaborator can engage others in a manner that allows parties involved to discover common ground in conflict situations
 
Mentoring and developing
You are strong in mentoring and developing others when you are maintaining growth-enhancing relationships. With that solid relationship base, you create development plans, give feedback and focus on growing individual team member.
 
Interpersonal Intelligence
If you have high interpersonal intelligence, you effectively listen, engage in conflict and controversy deal with feelings of others as well as manage your own feelings. That means you take responsibility for your part and openly listen to feedback and criticism. 

Try this language
If you are committed to growing your ability to relate well to your team so that you bring out the best in them, here are some examples of things you may say to them.

• I am curious about your perspective.
• Thanks for your contribution.
• How can I best support you?
• Tell me more...
• How can we improve?
• How are you really?

Do more than just survive leadership
To do more than just survive leadership, remember to focus on both growing yourself and growing others. As you focus on developing strong relationships with your team and using those relationships to bring out the best in them, you'll begin to thrive as a leader. As you blossom, so will your team members and as a result, you'll find your group achieving those high results. 

Want to learn more?
You can learn more here by listening to this session on how you can increase your skills for relating to others.
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Then, apply the skills with your team by downloading the guide which will help to bring out the best in your team.

Weekly Facebook Live Session
Join me most Thursdays at 12:15 MDT for a Facebook Live session.
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Ask me questions and gain insights as you learn to lead and live with more balance and enjoyment.

If you aren't sure how Facebook Live sessions work, learn more here.