As a nonprofit leader, when was the last time you planned how you wanted to feel? That is a crazy notion, isn't it? However, if you consider how you want to feel and attach goals to those feelings you desire, you will find that you have a way different year ahead of you!

Start by looking over the past year for lessons
In this post, I encouraged you to look back over the past year for the lessons you learned. Pausing and then pondering how things turned out in different situations allows you to collect ideas for what you want to do differently in the future. 

If you want different results, then you need to do something else. The strategic review of the past year in this post will help you highlight areas of your life that you want to change.


Next, look ahead to choose your feelings
Now that you have taken a look back, it's time to pivot and look forward. The backward review and peering into the future are part of laying a solid foundation before setting goals for the new year.
As you inspect what might unfold in the new year, I want you to consider how you want to feel. Instead of starting by thinking about what you want to achieve or what you are hoping to accomplish, I want you to think about your feelings first.


It may be helpful to note what you DON'T want
Looking at the past year, you can identify what you don't want, and it's an excellent place to start. If you are like most women leading in the nonprofit sector, you know what you don't want:

• You are tired of feeling stuck.
• You don't want to feel exhausted.
• You hate the constant feeling of overwhelm.
• You are fed up with the repetitiveness of the same old hamster wheel.

Then, it's time to shift
But if not that, then what? That's the easy part. We complain, grumble and moan about what we don't want. However, continuing that cycle of what you don't want in your head keeps you stuck on the negative. Instead, it would be best if you look for something different. 


Consider the experience you DO want
Consider for a moment what feelings and experiences you want in the coming year. Here are some examples of what feelings you may be looking for:

• Perhaps you want to feel more energetic
• You may want to feel more at peace with yourself.
• It could be that you are looking to feel a deeper sense of connection with someone
• You want to feel more engaged in your work

Hold off on developing goals
If your mind keeps going to goals, step back from them for a bit. Setting goals are important, and we will get there. But the goal is only part of the picture. When we only identify the target, we miss the importance of attaining that. 
When you ask yourself what you want to accomplish a goal or achieve, it's about the feeling you will get as a result of completing it.

• Why does it matter so much?
• Why is that so important to you? 
• What difference does it make if you achieve that? 

It matters because it's doing or achieving something that will produce a certain feeling. So it's that feeling that I want you to focus on now.


Here are some examples
A goal that so many identify each year is to become healthier. So what difference does it make if you lose weight or change your eating habits? 

• You'll feel more alert
• You'll feel more confident
• You'll feel increased energy

Imagine that you want to do something different at work, return to school, apply for a new position or start a new project. Consider that outcome for a moment and think about what the feeling is that you are longing for. 

Changing jobs will make you feel what? 

• More aligned with your values? 
• Will it make you feel more fulfilled?

Where do you already feel that?
The second part of this exercise is to consider the list of feelings you've identified. Then, look at where you experienced those feelings now. 

• If you're looking to feel happier, when was the last time you felt happy?
• If you're looking to feel more energetic, you noticed that was happening on the weekend when you had more sleep. 
• If you want to feel a sense of peace, you may see you felt it after you took a lunch break the other day.

These are clues about what you want more of in the new year. It is this information that will help you set goals. 


Combine the lessons learned and feelings desired
Pulling these two concepts together (lessons + feelings) looks like this:

• Perhaps looking back, you learned that late nights drag you down. You may realize that the lesson is you get sick when you work yourself to the bone.
  • A goal for the new year might be to create a full day on weekends with no work.

 

• When you look at the feelings you desire, it may have been to feel more energized. You see, you feel that when you have more sleep or catnap in the middle of the day.
  • A goal for the new year might be to get more sleep.

 

• If you looked back and realized that no matter what, you can't connect to this job, you saw your commitment level drop and your desire to go to work each day fades. The lesson you learned was this organization isn't aligned with your values and vision.
  • A goal for the new year might be to look at how to realign your work with your values.

 

• Looking forward, you might crave feeling a deeper connection to your work. You see glimpses of that when you work on a specific project. That is a clue for you about the work you could cultivate in the new year.
  • A goal for the new year might be around exploring options in that area.

Looking back and then ahead
When you pull out lessons learned and pair them with the desired feelings you have for the future, you are in a great place to set goals for the future. 

First, take the time to let these two ideas sit with you in the next few days.

Then, come back to them a few times. Journal some thoughts about them. Talk to others in your life about it as well. Slowing down to get a handle on your life intentionally will put you back in the driver's seat. 

Finally, you'll be able to create goals that help you create your future rather than just watch it unfold!​

As the busyness of the season ramps up, you not only have gifts to buy, baking to do and decorating to complete, but you also have all of that stuff at your programs too! 


PROBLEM: Survival mode
If you aren't careful, you'll end up in survival mode.

• Afraid you are going to drop the ball
• Feeling overwhelmed and behind
• Endlessly frazzled and grumpy
• Always run down and sick
• Constantly exhausted

Survival mode can show up in your body too...It shows up as...

• Anxiety
• Migraines
• Depression
• Back problems
• Digestive trouble
• Frequent Colds & Flu
• Canker/Cole sores
• Difficulty sleeping
• Social withdrawal
• Weight gain/loss
• Addiction issues
• Angry outbursts

✏️ Surviving to Thriving Continuum GUIDE: If you are curious about where you land on the Surviving to Thriving continuum, grab this guide

You need to take care of yourself; yes, you have time!
To fend off burnout this holiday season, you must take care of yourself throughout the day. To do that, you need to manage your energy. 

We can't change how many hours are in a day, but we can manage our energy because it's often our energy drained.

Four energy pots are described in The Way We're Working Isn't Working: The Four Forgotten Needs That Energize Great Performance. Of course, for optimal performance, these energy pots would be full. But that may not be a realistic option for you right now. But can you add a bit to one of them to get you through the day and the season?

This is a short-term strategy.
It's a temporary fix until you have time for a deeper charge. But it will keep you from falling apart, burning out and resenting Christmas. 

Take time to consider each pot of energy and how full or empty it is. Then... consider how to put something back into it, in a little 


5 minutes self-care strategy
Take a look at each area and ask yourself 

1. Which energy pot is emptiest right now
2. What can I do to put back into my energy reserves - in less than 5 minutes?
3. Do that thing!

1️⃣ Physical
Physical energy is the foundation of wellness. It includes everything from how you eat, move and sleep. 
If this pot is drained, try one of these things to put a bit of energy back into this pot

• Eat 
• Stretch
• Go pee
• Drink water
• Do a tiny bit of yoga
• Go for a short walk - even around the building
• Put your head on your desk and take a five-minute nap
• Close your eyes for a moment and take a few deep breaths

2️⃣ Emotional
Emotional energy is about how you are feeling. So it's your emotions and your moods. 
If this pot is feeling drained or the emotions are about to boil over, try one of these to put things back in balance. 

• Cry
• Laugh
• Dance
• Scream
• Write/journal
• Shake your body 

Yes, these should probably be somewhere private, but they can be done in short bits of time to take the edge off. Go to the bathroom and literally shake your arms and butt, shaking off the icky feelings. Put headphones in and crank up a song that shifts your mood. Sit in your car and let yourself cry for a moment. 


3️⃣ Mental
Mental energy is about your ability to focus your thoughts. 
If this pot is drained and you are having trouble focusing or getting things done, try one of these suggestions to bring back some mental clarity.

• Breath deeply
• Colour or doodle
• Meditate for a few moments
• Stop multitasking and focus on just one thing. 
• Clear the clutter in your workspace

4️⃣ Spiritual
Spiritual energy is your connection to something bigger than yourself, your purpose and alignment with your values. 
If this pot is drained and you feel a loss of meaning in the season, your work or your life, try one of these suggestions to put things back in perspective.

• Pray
• Meditate
• Listen to music
• Head out into nature
• Stop at a church on your way home
• Reach out to someone and connect from the heart

The 5 min holiday self-care strategy for the busy nonprofit leader at Christmas 
Take a look at each area and ask yourself 

1. Which energy pot is emptiest right now
2. What can I do to put back into my energy reserves - in less than 5 minutes?
3. Do that thing!

Have you felt you've been "failing" at Christmas?
I'd sent out my letter the week after Christmas the year before. I didn't want to do that again. I felt like I was "failing at Christmas." Maybe you've felt you've been failing at Christmas too! 

When I feel that sense of failure or inadequacy hit me, I turn to self-reflection. What the heck is going on Kathy?

This is how I deal with the "ugh" feelingsI did what I always do when I'm struggling and can't find a way out. I journaled about it. Not just once but for several days. After deep soul searching, I finally gave myself permission to stop writing a Christmas letter. What a relief!

Freedom baby!
That decision took a huge weight off of my shoulders! Following that, I made a few other decisions:

• I eliminated 90% of the baking.
• I got rid of about 50% of the decorations.
• I decided to rotate what was left of the decorations, only putting some out at a time so it didn't feel so full and cluttered.

Instead of baking and worrying about a 3 page Christmas letter, I put some of that energy into joining a choir so I could sing to the seniors at Christmas.

It took away my Christmas blues!
Since that first decision and subsequent others, I've found that Christmas feels less heavy, in fact, maybe not heavy at all...perhaps even joyous!

I don't know if you can read between the lines or perhaps are seeing some parallels in your life, but more than finding "the meaning of Christmas," I found my values.

I was wrong about my top value
I used to think family was my top value. It's not.

• The guilt I felt about my relatives not getting my Christmas letter wasn't motivating me.
• My husband's urging to bring ALL the decorations up so the family could enjoy them did nothing to remove the overwhelm and dread of all that work.
• The idea of my son moaning in delight as he nibbled my fudge didn't take away the fear of me not being able to resist it all day long...and seeing the number on the scale steadily increase over December.

Nope, valuing my family was not going to help me find joy at Christmas time.

So what has?

Values are not just words...they have meaning
Let me back up a minute and tell you about values. We often think of values as words. 

• I value my family. 
• Honesty is important to me. 
• I place a high value on security, respect, fun etc. 

The list goes on. But what do those words MEAN to you?

An example of how you might define your values
Let's look at security for a minute:

• Security may be a job or a paycheque. It might be how much you have in savings.
• The neighbourhood you choose to live in could reflect your value of security.
• If your husband has cheated on you, you may feel more secure when you have the password to his cell phone.
• If your mom fell this year, it could be the security of knowing she's in an assisted living home.

Can you explain what your values mean to you?

1. You must define what your values means to you. That means understanding how your values show up in your life.
2. Next, you need to know when you are aligned or not aligned with your values.
3. Then, you also need to know what will get you back into alignment. 

Because when you are not aligned with your values that you feel crappy.

Back to my story!
My top value:
As I've explored my values over the last few years, I've realized that my top value is not family, as I indicated earlier, although I was sure it was! Instead, my top value is excellence.

• How I define excellence is living into my full potential each and every day and aiming to reach my potential in life. I strive for excellence as a person, wife, mother, grandmother, community member, coach, teacher, mentor and author.

Here's the thing, when I was trying to "do it all" I was excelling at nothing! 

• My physical health deteriorated almost as quickly as my mental health.
• I was short with people because of the pressures I placed on myself.

However, when I cleared the clutter of everything I was doing, I could focus on being my best; as a mom, wife, daughter, and in my work for you and my service to my community. The ugh is gone because I am now aligned with my value of excellence!

What this means for you
As you finish this year off and begin next year, I encourage you to do the work of exploring your values. Not 3 words on a paper, but paragraphs and bullet points and lists. This exploration needs to include feelings and body sensations. When do you know that you are out of alignment with your values and what actions or inactions will bring you back?

When you do this work, you'll spend more of your life living from your values and feeling the inner peace and joy from knowing you honour what is truly important to you!

​Do you set personal leadership goals for each year? 


The most effective leaders have personal leadership goals that drive them throughout the year. These aren't the organization's goals for you. Instead, they are your goals that drive the type of leader you are becoming. 


You probably aren't thinking about your goals quite yet. Instead, gifts, parties, baking and work deadlines likely have your attention these days. I get it!


👉 However, December is the perfect time to let the last year percolate in your mind. That way, you'll have some things in mind when it is time to sit down and work on your goals for next year.
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We know that typical goals fail
Most of us wait until the end of December or the beginning of January to start thinking about setting goals. The problem with waiting until then is that we often jump into goal setting with whatever is on our minds at the beginning of the new year. And for most of us, overeating and overspending are top of mind.


The most popular New Years' Resolutions are about weight loss and reducing debt. AND…most New Year's resolutions are dropped within a couple of weeks, and goals are forgotten by February. Often that is because we set the same goals half the world does every January.


🎯 However, as a leader who wants to achieve excellence and live a somewhat balanced life, you need goals specifically for you and your situation.


To create more impactful goals that will develop you as a strong leader, you need to be more intentional. 


Lay the Groundwork for Success Next Year
If you want to be more successful with your leadership goals next year, start thinking about laying the foundation for goal setting now. This groundwork will help you identify the goals that will impact you most and how to achieve those goals. 


Start here:
This coming week, start to look back over the past year. Scan events, relationships and experiences for the lessons you've learned.

• What is it that you've done or not done that has taught you something that you can take forward into the New Year? 

Have Self-Compassion
This review is not a time to judge or beat yourself up. Instead, it is a nonjudgmental observation. So, be curious as you look back.


Examples of lessons you may have learned

🔲 Looking back, you might see that the few times you had time to yourself were when you consciously created it. For example, you booked an afternoon off or got up earlier to journal.

• The lesson you learned might be that if you want solitude, time or time to yourself, you must create it. 

🔲 When you review the past year, you may notice certain calmer and more relaxed times. However, by digging deeper, you may see that you were doing your yoga regularly in those times.

• The lesson you learned, perhaps, is that you need to up your game by doing yoga regularly.

🔲 Looking back, you may have noticed times of better productivity and focus. When you get curious about what was going on then, you may see you were sleeping better.

• The lesson learned is sleep is critical for you and a fundamental thing you need to ensure happens.

Make a note of your discoveries
Choose whatever method works for you as you have some realizations or ah-has. I'm a sticky note kind of gal. I'll jot it down when something comes to me on a sticky note. They'll pile up over several weeks whenever something new comes to mind. Then, when it's time to do my review and set goals, I'll have all of those random but so very important lessons and ah has to go review and use them as information to guide me going into the new year.


You could use a notes app on your phone, a Google doc, or a notebook. The idea is to have something easily accessible to capture realizations on the fly.
❎ You aren't committing to anything.
✅ Instead, you are simply noting insights. 



Keep Curiously Looking Back
Let this idea of 'lesson's learned" simmer in the background for the coming weeks. Write down the lessons you notice as you go back over the past year. They will help you when you start to define your goals next year. 


You may want to complete a deeper review of the past year
Students in my membership site, The Training Library, often schedule time between Christmas and the New Year to complete their Annual Analysis. 


Your Annual Analysis is an in-depth review of the inner growth of your leadership. When you complete your Annual Analysis, you'll:
✅ Discover how effective your growth and development plan has been over the last year
✅ Feel pride as you acknowledge your achievements, inner growth, development and progress
✅ Identify the next steps for your continued path toward excellence.