What Does Your Team Really Think About You?

Nonprofit women leaders learn to change what your team really thinks about you

Do you ever wonder what your employees really think about you, and does it matter?
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If you're human, the answer is probably yes. We all care what people think about us. And the truth is, we all want to be liked. To be liked or selected means we belong. And belonging is the very basis of survival.

Stop Pretending You Don't Care What People Think

We've been taught not to worry about what other people think of us. We're told we put too much weight on other people's opinions and should just "do our own thing."

But here's what often happens. Many women in leadership try to ignore what others think and end up leading in a way that doesn't match who they truly are. They suppress their instincts, armour up, and perform a version of leadership that feels "right" or "professional" but is totally misaligned with their essence.

That disconnect fuels impostor syndrome and slowly chips away at your confidence and well-being.

In Leadership, What People Think Does Matter

In leadership, you should care what people think of you. Not in a popularity-contest way. But in a way that helps you gain trust, build respect, and shape the kind of culture people want to be a part of.

"Worried" might not be the right word

However, an effective leader is aware of, tuned into, and concerned about how their employees view them. Because if you want to have loyal employees and create a culture that welcomes them and keeps them around long-term, what people think about you matters.

Want to dive into Character Driven Leadership for Women with me?

A must-read masterclass for women leaders in nonprofits — empowering, practical, and transformative

Reading a leadership book on your own can be helpful but...

Reading it in community with other women who get it, who know what it's like to manage team dynamics, carry too much responsibility, and still wonder if you're doing enough, makes all the difference 
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​In this book club, we're not just going to be highlighting pages and nodding quietly to ourselves.

• We will be having honest conversations, sharing real experiences, and learning from each other.
• You'll feel seen, supported, and reminded that you're not the only one navigating the hard stuff.

This is more than a book club.

It's a space to grow with others who understand what leadership really looks and feels like.

The Details:

Click here to read Character Driven Leadership for Women with others 

Your Leadership Reputation Is Being Built Every Day

Your Leadership Reputation Is Being Built Every Day
What people think about you is your reputation, or to put it another way, your character in action.

• "I don't trust her."
• "She's an honest leader."
• "She's always there to answer questions."
• "You never get a straight answer from her."
• "She takes way too long to make a decision."
• "She's always the one pitching in until the very end."
• "When the pressure's on, she's nowhere to be found."

Each of these comments defines your reputation. And your reputation matters.

These observations aren't just random opinions. They are how others are experiencing your character.

Read the book to learn how to lead so your team trusts and respects you

Reputation vs Identity: Why Only One Really Counts

When I completed my Hogan certification (I'm certified to deliver and interpret this personality assessment), I learned about defining our personality in two ways.

1. Your identity is the view you have of yourself. It's how you think about who you are and how you want others to see you. But that inner view doesn't always match what others see.

2. Your reputation is the observer's view. It's how people evaluate your behaviour based on repeated interactions.

So, which matters more?

People hire us, fire us, and marry us for our reputation. They loan us money, support us, and become loyal employees based on our reputation.

That means your leadership success isn't determined by how you see yourself. It's defined by how others experience you.

People don't promote, trust, or follow you because of your internal self-image. They do it based on how you make them feel, the consistency of your actions, and the strength of your presence.

Your reputation isn't something you claim. It's something you earn.

How do you create the reputation you want?

One decision at a time.

A must-read masterclass for women leaders in nonprofits — empowering, practical, and transformative

You Shape Your Reputation One Small Decision at a Time

These aren't always big, dramatic decisions. Most often, they're micro-decisions. Tiny, almost unnoticed choices that add up over time.

• Whether you intentionally choose your mood before you head to the office
• Whether you stop to acknowledge a team member in the hallway
• Whether you scroll your phone during a meeting
• Whether you show up prepared for a difficult conversation instead of winging it

These micro-moments  are where your character is either reinforced or eroded. 

They may seem small, but they shape how others experience your leadership—and how you feel about yourself at the end of the day.

Intentional Leaders Build Better Cultures

Each time you turn a decision into a conscious choice, you shape how you show up. You shape what people think about you. And you shape your reputation.

A Tool to Align Your Actions with Your Values

One tool I teach for building that level of intentionality is the Infinite Leadership Loop.

Pause , Ponder, Pivot, Proceed, People

This framework helps you reflect before reacting and lead in a way that aligns with your values.

For example, before responding to a frustrating email, you might PAUSE, take a breath, and PONDER what values you want to uphold in your reply. That intentionality shapes how your team experiences you and strengthens your leadership reputation.

A model for authentic leadership

Bridge the Gap Between the Leader You Are and the One You Want to Be

In Character Driven Leadership, I discuss the gap between who you are on your worst day (your floor) and who you aspire to be on your best day (your ceiling).
Every conscious choice—especially in micro-moments—moves you toward one or the other.

Self-reflection and intentional decisions help you close that gap.

3 Ways to Be Seen the Way You Want as a Leader

How can you help others think about you the way you want them to think about you?

1. Decide How You'll Show Up Each Day

Set aside daily time to reflect and intentionally decide how you want to show up
Get clear on your personal and organizational values, ethics, and morals
Use a decision-making framework like 10 Questions to Ask Before Your Next Big Decision
When your actions align with your values, you feel a sense of integrity.
But when they don't, you feel off, frustrated, conflicted, or ungrounded.

That's your internal compass nudging you back into alignment.
Your values aren't just ideals. They're the foundation of your character and the filter through which others evaluate your leadership.

You don't need to be liked by everyone. But when your actions reflect what you say you stand for, you'll be respected.

2. Ask for Feedback—Even If It's Uncomfortable

Ask people what they think about you. You won't know unless you ask.
Informal feedback: Add a question to your supervision meetings like "What am I doing that gets in the way of you doing your job?

Formal feedback: Tools like The Leadership Circle 360 help you gather structured feedback from employees, peers, and stakeholders. Many of my coaching clients use this, and we debrief the results together to plan behaviour shifts.
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3. Use Self-Reflection to Grow Into the Leader You Want to Be

By reflecting on what happened, you create meaning from your leadership experiences. That meaning helps you grow and decide what you want to do differently next time.
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Start by asking yourself:

• Who am I?
• Who am I becoming?
• How am I developing that now?

These questions help you move from reacting to intentionally becoming the leader you want to be.

Your Character Shapes Culture. One Decision at a Time.

When you intentionally create space to pause, reflect, and choose how you show up, you shape your reputation.
And when your reputation reflects who you actually want to be, you shape the culture around you.

That's how you build trust. That's how you lead with integrity. That's how you grow a stronger, more engaged, and loyal team—one decision at a time.

~ Kathy 
Do the inner work. It's worth it!

A must-read masterclass for women leaders in nonprofits — empowering, practical, and transformative