3 Micro-Decisions That Make or Break Your Staff Meetings

​If you're anything like most nonprofit leaders I work with, staff meetings aren’t your favourite part of the job. You want them to be useful, engaging and maybe even inspiring. Instead, they feel like a slog! You can’t wait to get through the agenda and end your misery.

If there is a particularly touchy topic, you pray the tension in the air will disperse before anyone says anything. No one wants to volunteer their ideas except the one person who doesn’t know when to stop talking. It feels like everyone is watching the clock, including you! It’s exhausting.

What I’ve learned over the years, and what I teach, is that it’s not always the big agenda items that shape how you and your team feel during meetings. It’s the small stuff. And it comes from the little choices you make in the moment. The tone of your voice, how you react to a comment, and whether you really look up from your laptop when someone speaks all impact the feel of the meeting, more so than the agenda.

Those tiny moments I call micromoments emerge more positively when you are intentionally making micro-decisions. These micro-decisions may seem small, but they have a huge impact. Micro-decisions either build trust and connection… or chip away at it.
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Let’s look at three of the most important ones and how they show up in your meetings.
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1 - Choosing to PAUSE Before Responding

You know that moment when someone pushes back on an idea, maybe with a hint of sarcasm in front of the whole team? You feel it land. Your face flushes. You want to fire something back, just to put them in their place. I’ve been there. I’ve made those sharp, pointed comments through clenched teeth and regretted it. Because those snarky words didn’t just end the moment, they set the tone for the rest of the team and shifted the energy of the entire meeting.

In moments like this, you have the opportunity to make an intentional micro-decision by choosing to PAUSE instead of react. That PAUSE, even just a few seconds, gives you the chance to check in with yourself. It helps you move from reacting on autopilot to responding with intention. That’s where your leadership really shows up.

In Character Driven Leadership for Women, I walk through a tool to help you lead with authenticity and intention called The Infinite Leadership Loop. The very first step is to PAUSE. Pausing is where our character is shaped, trust is built, and the seeds for a loyal and engaged team are sown.

One of my clients, Jessica, was eager to tell me how she’d used a micro-moment. She had been losing sleep over an item she had for the upcoming staff meeting. She was dreading a difficult conversation she needed to have during a meeting. She worried that if the staff pushed back, she might get emotional or say something she’d regret. So she decided to do something different before going into the meeting. She made a conscious choice to PAUSE and write about what she wanted to happen and what she could do to create the kind of engaging conversation she wanted at the team meeting.
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Jessica asked herself, How do I want to feel in that conversation? And how do I want to be seen? She chose confident and fair. She realized that if, before walking into the meeting, she took a break and went for a walk to calm herself down, she would be in a better place to maintain her composure if someone pushed back.

That little moment of PAUSING and PONDERING made all the difference. She showed up grounded, not flustered. She spoke from her heart. That’s what PAUSING gives you. Space to act in alignment with who you are and who you're becoming.

2- Deciding How to Handle Tension or Disagreement

Tension is a normal part of leadership. Maybe someone’s frustrated. Maybe they roll their eyes or push back on a decision. Maybe there’s that awkward silence after you ask for feedback.

Here’s your micro-decision: Do you ignore it, push forward with the agenda, or lean in with curiosity?

In Character Driven Leadership for Women, I discuss how curiosity is one of the most underrated leadership tools we possess. When things get uncomfortable, it’s so easy to shut down or bulldoze ahead. But when you PAUSE and ask curious questions, you open the door to understanding, empathy, and even clarity. I talk about curiosity as an ongoing practice of an effective leader. As a practice, it’s “calling in curiosity,” and it’s a micro-decision to be curious rather than pushing through.

Instead of asking, Why are you so upset? (which can feel like an attack), you might try, What’s important to you in this? Or what do you think we’re missing?

Going back to Jessica’s story, she didn’t just PAUSE. She also got curious with herself. She asked herself what she wanted the outcome to be and what her values were in that moment. That clarity helped her stay present and open, even when the conversation felt hard.

When you choose curiosity over trying to control things, you don’t calm the tensions in the room; instead, you build trust. You show your team that their perspectives matter, even if you don’t have all the answers.

3 - Choosing Where Your Attention Goes

​Most people say they are paying attention, but are you really?

• Do you glance at your phone during a meeting?
• Peek at your email?
• Shuffle papers?​
  
• Shut your video off?
• Zone out while someone’s talking?

These tiny decisions send big messages.

In Character Driven Leadership for Women, I discuss how even the smallest actions shape how your team experiences you. Something as simple as checking your phone mid-meeting can make someone feel dismissed. And that feeling sticks.

But when you choose to stay fully present, when you look someone in the eye, jot down what they say, and really listen, you’re saying, You matter. I care about what you’re saying.

Those small choices build the kind of culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued. And when people feel that way, they show up differently. They engage more. They speak up. They trust you.

So Do These Tiny Choices Really Matter?

Absolutely! They matter a lot.

Your character is built in micro-moments like these. That’s something I really emphasize in the book. Every micro-decision you make, from how you respond to how you listen and where you focus, shapes how others experience you as a leader.

Over time, these micro-decisions shape:

• Your reputation (Are you seen as steady, thoughtful, trustworthy, or distracted and reactive?)
• Your team’s morale (Do they feel encouraged and respected, or shut down and invisible?)
• Your culture (Are meetings collaborative and safe, or something to just get through?)

The good news is you have the power to shift all of that, starting with these tiny, intentional choices.

Try This Framework: The Infinite Leadership Loop

If you want a practical way to start making better decisions in the moment, I teach a model called the Infinite Leadership Loop in the book.

Here’s how it applies in a staff meeting:

PAUSE
Stop for a breath before responding to something that gets under your skin.

PONDER
Ask yourself:

• What am I feeling?
• What value is being triggered?
• How would the best version of me respond?

PIVOT
Shift your mindset or your tone if needed. Let go of the need to be right or polished. Focus on being authentically you.

PROCEED
Speak with intention and clarity, grounded in your character.
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PEOPLE
Reconnect with your team. Listen. Ask. Engage. Be the kind of leader they trust.

Reflection Prompts for Your Next Meeting

If you want to take this deeper, here are some questions from the journaling prompts in the appendix of Character Driven Leadership for Women. You can use them before or after your next meeting:

• What did I role model for my team today?
• What lessons might my team have learned from how I showed up?
• Which micro-decisions did I notice myself making?
• Did I PAUSE before responding when I felt triggered?
• When there was tension, how did I handle it?
• Was I fully present or distracted?
• What would my best self do differently next time?
• What’s one tiny change I could make that might have a ripple effect?​

The Small Stuff Is the Big Stuff

​Leadership isn’t about doing everything right. It’s about becoming the kind of person you want to be and showing up that way more often.

That happens through small, consistent, intentional choices. The kind you make every day. The kind you make in every meeting. And those micro-decisions? They’re shaping your character and your impact more than you realize.
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Want more practical tools like this? You’ll find them all inside Character Driven Leadership for Women. Pick up your copy and take the next step in shaping your leadership.

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Why People-Pleasing Is Undermining Your Leadership and What to Do About It

• Are you saying yes when you’re already stretched too thin?
• Do you avoid tough conversations because you don’t want to upset anyone?
• Are you working late or taking work home because you don’t want to let people down?

​You’re not alone. 
Many women leaders in nonprofits fall into this pattern. It feels like the right thing to do, but the truth is it’s draining you and chipping away at your confidence and sending you straight to burnout!

In this session, you’ll learn:

• Why people-pleasing shows up in leadership and how it quietly erodes your confidence, undermines your authority and drains your energy.
• How overworking is tied to approval-seeking
• What it’s really costing you in terms of trust, influence, and energy
• Simple ways to start saying what needs to be said with kindness clearly, and with confidence

Leading with integrity and boundaries isn’t about becoming cold or selfish. It’s about being true to yourself, growing your team and leading with purpose. When you do it well, you can stop drowning in expectations and start leading in a way that feels good for you and your team.

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