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Make reading a part of your 2020 leadership plan! Ongoing growth and development is a critical component of leadership! You should be reading! Maybe you think you don't have time. Make time! Seriously. Create tiny pockets of time that you can read or listen to a book. It will change both your leadership and your life!  YOUR TURN: What made your list of 2019 books?
Comment below and tell me what books I should put on my 2020 reading list!
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Have you ever avoided a tough conversation, that you know you should have? We all have. Unfortunately, when we don't deal with them, they tend to fester and problems get worse. Keep reading to learn how to create a plan to get you through "that" conversation in a way that feels authentic and confident!  Let me start with a story: I have a decision to make today…..ok…let me rephrase that. I’ve made a decision, now I need to communicate it to someone, and I’m not looking forward to it.
❓️Can you relate❓️ Do you have a conversation you need to have with someone and are dreading it? 😩 Having tough conversations takes discipline. You need the self-control to do it, even when your inner self is screaming:
Your inner voice keeps you small! To shush that nattering voice that keeps you lacking the courage to deal with the thing with integrity you need willpower. Willpower is that inner will that will tell all that negativity to be quiet so you can awaken that courageous you that is hiding quietly in the background. Having a tough conversation takes willpower! And here’s the truth: You need to strengthen your willpower so you can handle that tough conversation and get done what matters most!💪 Here's how willpower & tough conversations fit together Let look at the components of willpower as they relate to difficult conversations. Willpower is the ability to: 💥manage your thoughts. 💥manage your emotions. 💥resist urges and distractions 💥focus on what matters most! Imagine being a leader who can keep your thoughts and emotions in check and handle a tough conversation with courage, confidence and integrity!!!🙌 Let's back up a moment Imagine the next tough talk that you have coming up.
My guess is several things could come into play.
Now, let's look at how your willpower, or lack of willpower may come into play. When you think about how you define it as a tough conversation, consider: 🔹What thoughts come up for you? 🔹What emotions are connected to those thoughts? 🔹Where might you allow yourself to be distracted? 🔹What urges do you have about that meeting? 🔹What will be important about focusing during that talk? 👉️Thoughts, feelings, resisting urges and distraction and focusing, all of the components of willpower are all going to play a role in that tough conversation. It will be your inner discipline or willpower that will help you stay engaged in a conversation when you don’t feel like it; You need a plan!!!! 👇️Here's how: The best way to stay authentically and courageously in that uncomfortable conversation is to pre-plan. You need to know ahead of time:
You, my dear, need to have a plan to use your willpower wisely. ✏️Here’s your homework. Identify the next difficult, tough or challenging conversation you have.
🆘Need help? Members of The Training Library can find this WEBINAR: How to prepare for a tough talk so you can handle it with integrity to help you plan your way to confidence!
YOUR QUESTION:
Kathy, How do I find the time to be the best leader I can be?
MY ANSWER BELOW: 
What this question says about you:
First, I applaud you for the question What that tells me is that you have a desire to be your best self and that you recognize that there's room to grow. That's true for all of us. None of us is perfect. None of us will ever stop growing. What that also tells me is that you have a growth mindset. You are willing to put time and effort into growing and developing yourself to be your best self.
Instead, you are choosing to be Response-Able...choosing to make a difference in your life — Bravo for you
Personal and professional development is your path to success in leadership and life!
MY ANSWER
Now, how to find the time to do some of the work to grow and develop yourself.
3 places to create time to do the work necessary for growing and developing yourself as a leader
1️⃣ Make use of existing downtime
The best example is all of the times in your life when you are waiting! For example:
2️⃣ Look at current time wasters / time fillers Consider changing what you do during some of these times:
3️⃣ Carve out time Find 15 minutes 4 times a week here in these spots (That's a whole hour each week!!)
Tada.... YOU just CREATED a whole hour each week to work on developing yourself! ?WHOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! ? Personal and professional development is your path to success in leadership and life! Do this right now. ✅Schedule at least two 15 minutes into your next week to begin the work you need to be your best self! You'll be thankful you did! 
Ongoing training to grow women leaders in ?? Canada's Nonprofit Organizations.
Not a member of The Training Library yet? Join for $19.97 and enjoy a monthly webinar plus a library of courses to support your ongoing personal and professional development that is affordable and easily accessible! Discover the details here I'm guessing you have on a pair of heels, dress shoes or casual shoes...at least if you are reading this during your workday. On a typical workday for me, I spend the majority of it in slippers I switch to runners...then back to slippers. The exception is when you see me face-to-face at a speaking event, I'm rockin the heels!  Recently I needed a new pair of inside runners. I headed down to the local store and spied this cute pair of polka-dot ones! I grabbed size 7 off the shelf, expecting to ensure they fit and be quickly on my way. They were tight. Too tight! I tried on a pair of 8's, and they fit just fine. I was hesitant, though. Really? I'm usually a size 7. I wandered around the store with the 8's on just to be sure. In the end, I brought them home and love them! Just right! Putting my feet into the size 7 and finding them too small was feedback. If the lady at the store had looked at me when I walked in and said here's a size 8, no need to try them on, I would have thought she was nuts! It was my own feeling that helped me choose the larger size. Feedback and constructive criticism are not the same! Feedback is a critical part of learning and growing, yet so often missed as we develop ourselves and our teams. Far too often, feedback is really constructive criticism! Constructive Criticism is a scam run by people who want to beat you up. Ouch! How true is that! FEEDBACK is an ART Feedback instead is the art of pulling out the best in people so that they may become even better! It is giving them information they can work with. But when feedback is primarily presented as constructive criticism or advice-giving, it doesn't make the person feel good or inspire them to reach inside to be their best. It often puts them on the defensive and sadly often shut down. 3 Strategies for giving effective feedback If you want to give feedback that grows and develops your staff in a way that is motivating and inspiring, try these 3 strategies.
An Example of giving feedback via COACHING in action The story Rebecca comes to you because she's short-staffed for the group home this weekend. She wants your help to figure it out. The initial self-reflection that is often missed by most leaders:
Sounds cool right! You can do this. It might take some practice, but you can transform the way you engage with your team into an inspiring and motivating conversation that helps your staff grow into their full potential. Do you want to get better at coaching your employees? If you want some more help with this, join me for this month's webinar: Creating Comfortable Coaching Conversations. 
Ongoing training to grow women leaders in 🇨🇦 Canada's Nonprofit Organizations. Not a member of The Training Library yet? Join for $19.97 and enjoy a monthly webinar plus a library of courses to support your ongoing personal and professional development that is affordable and easily accessible! Discover the details here
Why are women not rising to the top as equally as men in nonprofits? Because we are not! Here are the statistics in Canada's Nonprofit"
What is holding women back?
Charity Village recently is offered a free webinar in which the Ontario Nonprofit Network (ONN) shared key findings from their recent report Decent Work for Women and the 10 solutions ONN is working on. This session was relevant across the country as we all work together to change things.
Change though, won't come from a report. It will come from action. The challenge is, that many women continue to feel oppressed, bullied and lack the confidence to step forward.
We need to take this part into consideration as well:
Before many women are ready to come forward, they need to develop their courage and confidence. For many women, they will do that when they find their authentic leadership style and owning it.
It's about leading with confidence to be ourselves.
We need to become the female role models for the future generation of women leaders
For far too long we've been mentored by men, had male role models and seen bits of success by acting like men leaders, but feeling like frauds. That inner turmoil between who we really are and how we want to lead with how we think we SHOULD lead has cost us our confidence, career advancements and quite frankly, our sanity. You know I have been a strong advocate of leading aligned with your values, belief, morals and ethics. I've also been known to get on my soapbox more than once about how you need to do the inner work to get there. Well, back up on the box I get.... MY RANT: Here is the thing, my dear, authentic, compelling, impactful and enjoyable (yes, you can enjoy your role) comes when you are "in character" not out of character. When you are "acting" like someone you are "supposed" to be, you'll continue to find that you feel overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and lack meaning in your work.
I'm so passionate about this that I've devoted this month's webinar to helping you compete authentically with men for the leadership position and respect you desire by learning to lead with your leader character.
Not convinced character is critical for you? Let me ask this:
Which list of Character Traits do you aspire to?
Character matters, BIG TIME!
There is one word you should NOT use when you are giving your staff feedback, praise or encouragement.
You may already have an idea what it is...but what do you use instead? You’ll learn that, when you watch this FB Live session: 
LINKS from today's session
Listen to the beginning of MASTERING CONFIDENCE here Find your GUIDE SHEET #27 - Create your powerful vision + Chapter from Mastering Confidence MASTERING CONFIDENCE INTENSIVE - Join the 8-week online program Join the CONFIDENT WOMEN LEADERS Group here You want to enjoy leadership more, find you are making a greater difference, feel happier and more satisfied in life and rid yourself of a bit of the daily turmoil you feel. Doesn’t that pretty much sum up what most leaders are looking for? Perhaps you also want a little more love, a smaller waistline, and an increase in your bank account. That’s not a bad list of desires. Striving for more is a good thing. Yes, we need to be grateful for what we have, but a healthy determination to continue to grow, figure out the next challenge and navigate our way to a greater sense of peace in work and life is really the essence of aging.  New insights lead to growth Learning from our mistakes, failures, and setbacks as well as our achievements, wins and successes happen best when we gain new information that challenges our current way of thinking and behaving. The different material assists us to find fresh ways, adjust our actions or shift our mindsets to get improved results. At other times, the insights we gain affirm we are on the right path. One way to get new ideas to challenge your assumptions, perspectives, and values is to read. But who has time to read? Let’s boil it down to some basic truths about leadership, learning, and life.
The Audible Secret I discovered Audible a few years ago when I was in a program that made reading the forefront. There was no way I could find the time to fit the required reading in. I downloaded the books to Audible and listened my way through them. What I realized was that I’ve always listened to book. From the Steven Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People cassette tapes to the David Allen time management revolution Getting Things Done CD’s boxed set. I’ve been a listener for years and years. I used to borrow audio CD’s from the library to take them on business trips so I could drive and learn. Now, I still borrow some audiobooks from the library, but most often, I use Audible. I think you should too! Let me tell you why you need an Audible account and how easy it is to use.  The Audible Story Here is what you need to know about Audible:
But how does Audible really work?
You may be wondering, if I can’t find time to read, how would I find time to listen to books. That my dear is easy! You just play it while you….. 10 times in your day when you can listen to an audiobook
Need some ideas of what books to download? Grab this guide that I made for you with my 20 favourite leadership books to listen to.  There you have it. Grab your Audible membership today. Begin listening to leadership books to grow and develop yourself, a financial book to help you increase your bank account, healthy living authors who will share their wisdom about weight loss and of course, one particular leadership coach who gives you a system to Master your Confidence. That way, you will move from surviving to thriving in both your leadership and your life!
,Do you have a love/hate relationship with your job, your role, your team or your organization?
I sure did! It sucked the life and fun out of me! Do you want to learn how to lose the loathing love the work? On this week's FB Live show I talked about what I did and you can too - to learn to love leadership. Let me give you a bit of an overview here. 
I was in a pretty toxic environment
In my book Mastering Confidence, I tell the story of a time when my team was just a wee bit toxic. Ok, honestly, very toxic. At the time, I blamed everyone around me. It was her fault, his fault, and their fault. Certainly, I wasn't the one to blame. As such, I didn't want to go to work. I dreaded it each morning as I got ready and headed into the office. Whenever I could, I avoided certain people, teams, and sites. I loathed my job. It took a shift in my mindset and some learning to turn that around.. I need to take responsibility for my self, my impact and move from victim to leader. I find that many of the women I work with also struggle in this way. My client was in a pretty toxic environment Take Rebecca for example, she came to me a few months into a new promotion. Initially, when she took the role of a supervisor on she loved it. That quickly turned to overwhelm, extreme dislike for her boss and frustration with her team. Rebecca felt like no one listened or cared about the work or her. She found she was turning into an uncaring person, simply focused on the tasks for the day. We both need to see things differently When we started coaching, the first thing I began to do was help Rebecca gain an understanding of herself. She needed to get clear on what her values were. She began to get more connected to her inner guidance system, which helped her recognize what triggered her, her self-talk and take back control of her emotions. It was the same place I started when I turned my team back around from toxic to strong. Once I figured out how important family was to me, honesty and my deep connection to the work we were doing, I quickly realized why I had reacted to so many things that had happened in the preceding months. We moved from ourselves to focusing on our team The next thing I worked with Rebecca on was helping her to see her team as individuals and realize her job was to grow them. She started to see them differently as I'd also began to see my team in a new light. It is always fascinating for me to watch my clients now take the same journey that I did so many years ago. That path is seeing an individual's strengths, identifying their potential and putting a focus on growing them and helping them to realize their full potential. It's an amazing feeling to turn from seeing your staff as "problems to be fixed" to "potential to be drawn out." We both reconnected to the love of our job The final thing that helped Rebecca to learn to love her leadership role again was taking her newfound inner growth and her shift in her mindset about her team to the bigger purpose of their work. Why do you do what you do? What difference does your work make to the community you serve? These questions helped me years ago to really find that passion and inner spark again. Rebecca lit up too when she began to find the answers to these questions. This is what we did in a nutshell These three things, are the things you can also do to move from loathing your leadership role to loving your leadership role
My final thoughts for you
To move from loathing your leadership role to loving it takes some time. Let's be honest; Leadership is a tough gig! However, these three things, when you put your focus on them, will help you to make that shift more permanent. Grow yourself from the inside out. Focus on seeing the potential in your employees and focus on growing them. Then, take yourself and your team and remind yourselves today and every day...why you do what you do. Trust me, my dear, you will find the love for your work again...as soon as you do! Want to learn more? Listen to this week's Facebook Live session to help you make the shift from loathing to loving your job. Don't forget to download this week's guide sheet to help you personally make the shift. Remember, you have to do something with this information, or it won't actually make a change in your life!
If I asked you what your #1 job as a leader is, what would you say?
I reckon there are heaps of possible answers.
The 2 Biggies
Those are all important task of a leader. I believe though, with my whole heart, that to do more than just survive, that there 2 critical jobs or skills you must master. They are:
Leadership Competencies Over the last few weeks in the Excellence in Leadership series, we have been focusing improving yourself so that you can be an A+ Lady Leader. I’ve asked you to consider the skills you need to work on, to have the impact you desire. These skills hail from The Leadership Circle Profile. This is a 360 tool I use with my Lady Leaders who join the Women with Grit Program. The Leadership Circle measures a set of well-researched competencies that gauge how leaders achieve results, bring out the best in others, lead with vision, enhance their own development, act with integrity, and encourage and improve organizational systems. Relating well to others is critical This week we are moving on to the set of abilities around Relating to others. Being strong in relating, is all about bringing out the best in people, groups, and organizations. A leader who is good at relating is
They see others as
Learn to put your focus on your people When you are good at relating you intentionally focus on people. You realize that as your people develop so does your team's capacity and thus your team success. Developing your team members goes back to what I stated at the beginning; a critical skill in leadership is the ability to grow others. However, to be good at relating you must accept both yourself and others. You can't only focus on being liked Some leaders find they struggle with relationships for a couple of reasons. First, they may be focused more on getting along with people, but so much so that it is at the cost of achieving results. If you find yourself here, you may tend to play it safe in relationships, sugarcoat messages and fail to speak up when necessary. You struggle to build effective relationships when it’s all about complying, pleasing and fitting in. It's not about controlling them either Alternately you may find yourself less of a pushover, and more controlling, Here you tell others what to do and don't ask for others opinions. You are a take-charge kind of gal who speaks directly and bluntly. You see relationships as a means to an end. You're nice, just to get the job done. If you find yourself in this situation, you might also notice that when you feel challenged and threatened by others, you become defensive. You may discount or ignore negative feedback.You aren't growing your team when you never let them do anything or make any mistakes. Finding the balance It is a balancing act to achieve high results and relate well others. As such, it takes practice to find that point where you can hold both a commitment to achieving high results and a focus on developing your people. Take the time to learn how to focus on your team members and you'll see them grow, so you can achieve the results.
To grow yourself in the area of relating well to others, focus on the following 5 skills :
Try this language
If you are committed to growing your ability to relate well to your team so that you bring out the best in them, here are some examples of things you may say to them.
Do more than just survive leadership To do more than just survive leadership, remember to focus on both growing yourself and growing others. As you focus on developing strong relationships with your team and using those relationships to bring out the best in them, you'll begin to thrive as a leader. As you blossom, so will your team members and as a result, you'll find your group achieving those high results. Want to learn more? You can learn more here by listening to this session on how you can increase your skills for relating to others. Then, apply the skills with your team by downloading the guide which will help to bring out the best in your team.
Let me start by asking you a question: Are you achieving...
If you are an A+ Lady Leader, you know the answers to these questions and have the skills to do just that!
You need all three parts It's not just about the results or the just process. You all know wealthy individuals, who are complete jerks and have lost everyone they loved along the way. You know of very successful organizations with nasty work cultures. You know really good people, who never achieve anything because they are too nice. You probably also know wonderful, caring people, who work hard every day, but never get anywhere because they don’t have definite aspirations. I know, none of these is what you are looking for!
The point is, we need to get the right RESULTS, in the right WAY for the right REASON
Any one of the 3 points is important, but to be that A+ Lady Leader, you need to combine all 3.
Here’s how: Getting your WHAT right The skill you need to develop: Being GOAL ORIENTED: When you hone this skill, you set goals and focus on goal achievement. That means when you establish goals, you don’t stop there. You create timelines to achieve those goals. You then break down your objective into smaller tasks, take action on some parts and delegate others. You follow up with your team and keep the process on track. The end goal is high performance and goal attainment. How to develop this skill Practice setting bigger goals and get used to breaking goals down into weekly tasks. Work with your team to share the work and progress.
Getting your HOW right
The 2 skills you need to develop are: Having a STRATEGIC FOCUS: This means you have a good process in place for maintaining an ongoing strategic perspective within your organization. A strategic focus includes more than setting goals. It is looking at how your team’s or your organization’s work fits into the bigger picture. It starts with strategic planning, but it doesn’t end there. To truly have a strategic focus, you need to keep the process alive throughout the year. The ongoing process includes regularly reviewing goals, both for progress, but also to see if they are still priorities. How to develop this skill Start developing this skill by scheduling time monthly in your agenda to take a look at the bigger picture and see how it fits in with today and next week. What has happened that may have changed the original strategic plan?
Being DECISIVE:
This is the ability to make decisions, including tough ones, in a timely manner. You need to make decisions under pressure and be comfortable moving forward in uncertainty. How to develop this skill To become more adept at being decisive, you need to heighten your awareness around the decisions you are faced with.
Getting your WHY right
The skill you need to develop is: Being PURPOSEFUL & VISIONARY: You need to clearly communicate and role model a commitment to both your personal purpose and vision and the organization’s deeper sense of purpose How to develop that skill Spend time individually and with your team crafting a future vision. This vision can include things such as goals and plans. More than that though, you will need to take a look at the values you want to honour, the workplace culture you want to have an choosing the impact of your lasting legacy on the community you serve.
Leadership Competencies
These skills listed above come from The Leadership Circle Profile. This is a 360 tool I use with my A+ Lady Leaders who I coach and are involved in The Training Library The Leadership Circle describes them as part of the Creative competencies that are well-researched competencies that measure how leaders achieve results, bring out the best in others, lead with vision, enhance your own development, act with integrity, and encourage and improve organizational systems.
Want to learn more?
Anyone can achieve results. What they actually achieve, how they do it, and why they are even bother trying to do, makes an incredible difference. I know, if you want to be an A+ Lady Leader, that you not only care about the what, but also the how and why. You can learn more here by listening to this session on how you can increase your skills to achieve the right results, for the right reason, in the right way. Then, get a sense of how you are doing with the skills to achieve results with the guide below.
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