Are you a nonprofit leader tired of looking at your to-do list with a sense of dread? Trust me. You're not alone. We all have a love/hate relationship with those seemingly endless lists. They can be overwhelming, but at the same time, they're essential for keeping us on track and ensuring we get things done. 👉🏻 If you want to transform your TO-DO list into a truly productive tool, it's time to make it more manageable. 🤔 Are you wondering....How do you trim your TO-DO list? The wrong thing to put on your list To tame your TO-DO list, you must remove repetitive items. When you stop entering tasks on your list that you complete regularly, you will see your list shrink dramatically. Doing this lets you find that your TO-DO list becomes your trusted friend instead of a daunting foe. You can do what Sarah and Maria did 👱🏻♀️ My client Sarah manages a group home. She used to have tasks like "prepare program schedule every week" and "review budget once a month," constantly cluttering her to-do list. Realizing that these were routine items, Sarah entered them directly into her schedule. This simple change made a massive difference in how she approached her daily tasks, allowing her to focus on more pressing matters and be more productive. 👩🏻 Another client Maria, a Program Coordinator, used to dread the monthly task of compiling statistics and preparing quarterly reports. It was a time-consuming chore that she would often leave until the last moment, sacrificing her personal time to get it done. However, after learning to treat routine tasks as appointments with herself, Maria scheduled a specific time slot every month to tackle the statistics. Not only did this help her prioritize the task, but it also freed up her evenings and weekends for personal activities. ❌ Removing the routine items By removing routine items from your to-do list and scheduling them in your agenda, you're making a commitment to yourself to complete these tasks during designated times. 📆 Book appointments with yourself Most leaders only use their agenda for meetings and appointments with others. They may list other things they must do during the day in their agenda, but only as bulleted points. Instead, you should enter routine items into a time slot in your schedule with a beginning and ending time. The routine task should be entered into your schedule as an appointment with yourself. 📊 The dreaded monthly stats task Let me give you an example. Many managers need to do monthly statistics and quarterly reports. This means you pull together charts, forms, and spreadsheets every month. Laying them all out on your desk, you compile data into a report that goes off to the powers that be. For most leaders, this data compilation is a challenging task. Leaders put it off and delay doing it until the last moment. I venture to guess that most leaders tend to get it done by either staying late or finishing it on the weekend. That's certainly how I used to get it done 🤦🏼♀️ This chore gets done on a manager's own time because the manager never prioritized it. Oh, they may put it at the top of their TO-DO list! But that didn't mean it came before other fires needing put out. Since the monthly statistical collection wasn't put in as an appointment, it was not completed during the regular daytime hours. 🙋♀️ How I do it: I now have a standing appointment with myself to do it each 📆 Monday morning. Yes, you read that right. It's part of my weekly review that gets prioritized before anything else! Move it from TO-DO list to your agenda Tasks that are routine things need to be put into your agenda. Schedule a regular appointment with yourself to get done the things that need to get repeatedly done.
How to Set Routine Tasks as an Appointment Most leaders only use their agenda for meetings and appointments with others, but it's also important to include routine tasks. Rather than simply jotting them down as bullet points, I encourage you to allocate a specific time slot in your schedule with a defined start and end time. Treat these routine tasks as appointments with yourself. ✔️ Appointments with yourself get entered into your agenda and are blocked off as busy times. ✔️ No one else should be able to book an appointment with you during this time. ✔️ Treat those times just like you would treat any other meeting:
But what if something more important comes up? We all know that unexpected things can arise, and priorities can shift. If you cannot complete a task during the scheduled time, don't just erase it and forget about it. As author Jay Papasan says: "If you erase it, then you must replace it." 📚 Papasan co-authored the book The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth About Extraordinary Results, and I highly recommend it if you want to become more productive. Rebook it if you can't do it That means if you can't do the work as planned, find another suitable time slot in your calendar to reschedule it. Don't let routine tasks pile up and follow you home as unfinished business. They are an integral part of your workload and deserve the same level of attention as anything else ⭐️Compiling timesheets, writing reports, and reviewing budgets are all part of your workload. They are not extras. You need to treat them with the same importance as anything else. ✅ Your TO-DO list taming HOMEWORK: 1️⃣ During your weekly planning, review your TO-DO list. 2️⃣ Put a ✔️ checkmark beside anything that is a regular or cyclical task. 3️⃣ Take those items and 📆 schedule the appropriate amount of time into your agenda. 4️⃣ Stick to those times and complete the task in that time slot 💪🏻 5️⃣ If you can't do it, re-book it 📆 A manageable-looking TO-DO list This leaves a manageable TO-DO list for you to prioritize. It won't be quite as scary to look at the items left 👀 Keeping your TO-DO list manageable requires being mindful of what you enter into it. Schedule routine items into your agenda. That way, regularly occurring tasks will get done on time. This will also leave your TO-DO list smaller, more inviting to scan and way easier to keep up with 👏🏻 I'm curious. Comment below:
Need more help prioritizing? If you need even more help to tame your to-do list and get done what matters most, start The Emotions of Time Management today and learn time management strategies and how to make them work for you!
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As women leaders in nonprofit organizations, you often find yourself needing to navigate a challenging conversation. Whether addressing policy violations or managing performance issues, these discussions tend to evoke much 😩 angst and worry over how they will go.
It's your job to have difficult conversations But having difficult conversations is part of being a leader. The problem is that often when we think about these upcoming exchanges, we're trying to figure out how to have that conversation without thinking about the how. 👈🏻Yes, reread that sentence. As we rehearse an upcoming conversation in our heads, we are trying to figure out WHAT to say rather than HOW to say it. But you are missing a key component of preparations for these conversations We meticulously plan our arguments, gather evidence, and outline our case. To prepare, you:
We think less about HOW we will engage, connect, influence, impact, listen, hear, and understand. Understanding. That's a good place to start. When we engage in a difficult conversation, we seek to be understood rather than to understand. So we gather the information but try to shut off who we are. We want to be DETACHED in tough conversations I often hear women say I'm just going to go in, be clear, non-emotional, or detached. But what they're really doing is going into a conversation with lots of emotions. 😤 😡 😣They are annoyed, irritated, frustrated, and trying to pretend that they're not. Yet, when I ask my clients what happens when they are annoyed, irritated, or frustrated, they tell me things like:
🙈 And although they know they can't hide all these things, they hope the other person doesn't notice. But they are only kidding themselves. Deep down, you know that others probably pick up on it even when you pretend you aren't annoyed, irritated or frustrated. You need to manage your emotions so you can engage in the conversation The truth is emotions will arise during difficult conversations. As much as we might try to conceal them, our nonverbal cues and internal experiences can be telling. Rather than suppressing or denying these emotions, you need to acknowledge and address your emotions to deal with a challenging conversation confidently. 🤔 Before the conversation:
My client experienced an ah ha A client told me she wanted to stop being so passionate in conversations. I asked her how passion shows up during a conversation. When she's passionate, my client said she talks a lot, talks fast and gives lots of details. 🟦 I want to stop being passionate I suggested that instead of shutting the passion off that, she manage the passion and focus on being clear and concise in her message and then pausing, allowing the other person time to soak it and respond. Passion isn't the issue. That is, in fact, what we are looking for👇🏻 🟦 Oh wait...I do want to be passionate If I asked you how you want to feel about your job, you might tell me you want to feel engaged, excited, and eager to be there. Wouldn't you say that's passion? So when the behaviour of someone on your team is negatively impacting a client, why wouldn't you be passionate? ✅ It's how you use that passion that's important. 🟦 Ah, I have to learn to manage my passion When my client realized this, she was very intrigued. She does care deeply about the work she and her team are doing. It's no wonder she's passionate. 🌱 Learning to manage it rather than shutting it off is her place for growth! You need to choose the emotions you want to bring into the conversation When you prepare ahead of time, you'll approach the discussion with greater clarity, empathy, and control, paving the way for a more productive dialogue. Remember, the way we approach the conversation has a profound impact on its outcome. Difficult conversations are more effective when we focus less on content and more on the connection. The best way to do that is to let go of being right and understood and instead become curious and seek to understand. Often, our natural inclination during difficult conversations is to seek to be understood. We aim to get our point across, make our case, and ensure our perspective is acknowledged. However, a shift in mindset is necessary for building strong, trusting relationships with your employees. Instead of solely focusing on being understood, cultivate a genuine curiosity to understand the other person's viewpoint. Doing so creates an environment that encourages openness, empathy, and collaboration. Seven Mantras to Help You Through Tough Conversations 1️⃣ Curiosity is critical
2️⃣ Emotions are everything
3️⃣ Pause before you proceed
4️⃣ Connect before you continue.
5️⃣ Put the relationship before the responsibility
6️⃣ It's not just about the content; it's about the connection
7️⃣ The inner work is the work!
Your focus needs to be on WHO you will be while you are talking about the WHAT When you prepare for difficult conversations, remember that the strength of your connection is the key part. By focusing on the type of person you are in those conversations, you can create a safe space that promotes understanding, collaboration, and growth. Remember, it's not just about the content; it's about the connection. 📗 If you need help, read this: You may want some help to learn to dig deep and focus on how to have a conversation rather than what you will discuss if the conversation takes some work. Fellow coach Michael Bangay, Stanier recently published his latest book, How to Work with Almost Anyone. In it, you will learn five questions for building possible relationships with some of those people you aren't sure you will ever get along with. I highly recommend that you grab it and do the work to focus on how to have conversations, not just the content of the conversations. When you do, it will be incredible peace to help you manage your emotions and increase your emotional intelligence while having those conversations with difficult people. p.s. The inner work IS the work! Where will you start today to grow yourself from the inside out? As a nonprofit woman leader, do you sometimes find that your emotions sneak up on you suddenly, and you are afraid of losing it?
You are not alone. Many women have been hijacked by their emotions. As a result, they keep trying to shut off their emotions, leave them out of a conversation or ignore them..... 💁🏼♀️But here's the thing: it's not about having emotions. It's about being able to be in control of your emotions!
Get the Emotional Control Course Become aware of and then manage your emotions Emotionally intelligent managers kick butt over their unaware peers. These aware leaders not only know what their emotions are, but they can manage their emotions.
Emotional Intelligence enhances leadership effectiveness Leaders high in emotional intelligence rarely allow their thoughts to hijack them. Emotionally intelligent leaders don't lose their composure when someone says something that sparks their anger or annoyance. A leader in control of their internal state will be aware that they are irritated but can catch themselves before rolling their eyes 🙄 sighing, or making a sarcastic comment. How do you learn this? Individuals that have high EI are incredibly aware.
👉🏻 You need to become aware of your thoughts and feelings! Two Steps to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence Step 1 – Recognize emotions Step 2 – Manage emotions Get the Emotional Control Course Let's break it down further to see how it happens. 🟦 Antecedent - An event happens
🟦 Thought - You have a thought about that event
🟦 Feeling - You then experience an emotion
When you increase your emotional intelligence, you learn to gain control over your thoughts to regulate your emotions and subsequent behaviour. You learn to respond rather than react unconsciously. Do you know what your thought was? It's crucial to explore your thoughts in more depth and understand what's going on there. 💥Your thoughts dictate your emotions. The goal is to become aware of the thought and be able to change it if necessary. ⏸️ PAUSE so you can get clear on your thoughts You need to PAUSE and slow down time to understand your thoughts better. You must widen the gap between the stimulus and the consequential feeling. It's like putting a magnifying glass on the event and your emotion to see if you can identify the thought between the event and the emotion. 🤔 PONDER - It's time for self-reflection Gaining awareness of what is happening in that gap requires intentional thinking. You must create a routine that prompts you to reflect daily on that space between what happened and how you reacted.
Spending time journaling or completing self-reflective exercises is one of the best ways to achieve this slow-motion replay effect.
The 6 tricks to rewarding reflective journaling 1️⃣ Set aside 10 minutes every day to journal, preferably at the same time every day. 2️⃣ Eliminate distractions. Put your phone on the other side of the room. Shut your door. 3️⃣ Choose a particular event or situation you are ruminating about. 4️⃣ Write freely for the first ¾ of your time. Note the event and what happened, and your emotions. Add in the things they said or did that irritated you. Note who else was involved. 5️⃣ In the latter ¼ of your time, allow yourself to write about the thoughts that led to the emotion. Answer the question: "What did I think about this person, event, or circumstance?" 6️⃣ Use journal prompts such as these:
Do the work - Make the effort Working on this first step of bringing awareness to your emotions and feelings can be challenging. It's not something that comes naturally to us. At first, it may feel strange and awkward. However, by doing this work, you will automatically become more aware of what's happening inside you, allowing you to regain control and manage your feelings and responses to people and events. Remember, it takes time, so be patient with yourself. The effort and commitment will be worth it. p.s. What if your emotions were a gift, a blessing or even an edge in leadership? Learn how to use your emotions to your benefit in the Emotional Control course. Understanding and honouring your values is crucial to a leader with authenticity and integrity. As a non-profit leader, your values serve as the guiding principles that shape your decisions, actions and the overall direction of your organization. Here are some examples of how your values may clash with others, get in the way of your work or cause you to feel inner turmoil. Potential values clash: When hiring new staff: Your values of diversity, inclusivity and fairness may rub up against your value of efficiency when the diverse hire has less experience and will take more upfront work to become an efficient worker. You'll have to decide which way to lean, knowing one of your values will need to be deprioritized, which makes you feel icky. Fundraising events Perhaps in your organization, the typical fundraising event includes alcohol. However, you have strong values around addictions and supporting those with addictions and minimizing alcohol at social events. Now you need to communicate that to your board, which heavily relies on this event for program funding. Program Development You value well-thought-out decisions and take time to think critically about the risks, steps and impact. However, others on your team are frustrated with your need to pick apart everything and want to move the decision-making process along more quickly. These differences are creating tension. Conflict Resolution Maybe your open communication, respect, and fairness values guide your approach to conflict. Others, who are uncomfortable with conflict, see your approach as aggressive, and they become defensive or shut down. Now the tension is building rather than diminishing. Organizational Culture You may value trust, teamwork, and personal growth and want to focus on those elements to foster a positive and inclusive work environment. And, there is no time. You are short-staffed, find yourself running from meeting to meeting and struggle to find the time to connect in a meaningful way with your team embers. In each scenario, taking the time to reflect on your values can help you make decisions and take authentic, aligned, and impactful actions for yourself, your team, the organization and the communities you serve. But only if you are self-aware and take time for self-reflection. Values identification is an ongoing process Your values and what they mean to you change over time. Understanding how your values fit into your life and how you define them will also evolve. Therefore identifying your values is not an exercise completed once in your life. Instead, you must return to your values and review them regularly. Verifying your values is more than a sit down once; power through and figure it out exercise. It also needs time, energy and curiosity. The work will be reflective, thinking and pondering. It will be emotional work as you explore memories and possible scenarios. You won't fully understand your values in one chunk of time but over time. So come back to the process of verifying your values again and again. Each time you do, you will deepen your understanding of what your values really mean to you and why they are so important. The steps to identify your values 1️⃣ List your top values 2️⃣ Define what your values mean to you 3️⃣ Determine how your values show up in your leadership and life 4️⃣ Create a system for knowing if you align with your values or are off-kilter 5️⃣ Rinse and repeat 🟡 Step # 1 - Identify Your Values There are no right or wrong values. Remember, they change, and how you define them may change. Also, this is the first glance. You will be going deeper, so how you name and describe your values may change as you do that. 🟪 Review the list of value words found here
To confirm that you have nailed your values, look for an emotional connection.
Reminders about identifying your values
🟡 Step # 2 - Define what they mean to you Now it's time to take a deeper look at your values. Those words you circled are just that, words. But what do those words mean to you? Consider these questions:
An example of how values show up For example, you may know that it is important for you to keep the peace. You value cooperation and collaboration. So despite differences on a team, you have a habit of smoothing things over. Over time you may notice your underlying irritation building with one team member as you work together on a project. You keep trying to collaborate, cooperate and keep the peace but feel frustrated each time you walk away from that conversation. This agitation may be because your value of harmony keeps you from addressing a conflict with that peer. But now, that conflict has morphed, and you feel anything but harmonious! Maybe you come from a long family of fighters. Yelling matches at the supper table was the norm. Over the years, you became the peacemaker working to create harmony wherever you could. Now that pattern of behaviour is showing up at work. And it's not always helpful. What's more, you don't even realize how that one word that means so much to you, harmony is actually what is causing you grief! Until you unpack what harmony really means to you NOW, you won't be able to use it effectively to live. You don't have to go to counselling or therapy to move forward. Although, please, if you need it, get help. There is nothing shameful about resolving your unresolved childhood or adulthood stuff! The bottom line is that you need to become more aware of how that value creates belief and ways of engaging now and consciously decide what you want to do about it. The verification process You must explore different facets of your values to help you flesh out what you mean. Remember, this is exploratory work, reflective work and emotional work. As you explore your values, here are some questions to consider:
🟡 Steps # 3 - 5 ● Determine how your values show up in your life ● Create a system for knowing if you align with your values or are off-kilter ● Rinse and repeat Determining how your values show up in your leadership and life and creating a system for knowing if you align with them or are off-kilter takes more time and intentional self-reflection. Stay with it, and over time you'll become clearer and find your values are guiding you more and more. 🆘 Extra help to verify your values In Values Verification, I walk students through exercises to identify their values and create a working definition of what that value or word group of values means to them. We explore how you use your resources to express your values (i.e. time, money and energy) and how to live and lead aligned with values. The course is one of many courses in The Training Library membership site. Do the inner work and use your values as your guide Values are the glue that holds us together, the things that we hang our decisions on, the place that we get furious when they aren't upheld and the thing that makes us feel at peace and content when they are really honoured. But again, values are not simply a word. Instead, values are deep-held beliefs etched into our lives over time and through events. Choice points. You have them, but are you using them to be a better leader? Choice Points 101
🟪 A choice point is... A choice point is an opportunity to choose what you are saying or not saying, what you are doing or not doing, and, most importantly, who you are being in the process of making that decision and acting on that decision. Choice points are critical for leaders to develop strong character Nonprofit leaders that lead with integrity, authenticity, and strong character lead with confidence and competence and feel in control of what is happening inside and around them. When you lead with that strength of character, you create an engaged team with meaningful relationships who do impactful work. Therefore, developing our character is fundamental to good leadership. Developing your character is multifaceted. However, one aspect that is often overlooked is the art of decision-making. Throughout your days, you encounter numerous choice points that shape how your day goes, the development of your relationships and the impact of your work. However, more often than not, we remain unaware of the existence of many of our decision points. To lead with authenticity and integrity, nonprofit women leaders must cultivate awareness of their choice points and embrace decision-making intentionality using criteria aligning with their values and goals. How unaware of your choice points are you? Far too often, you default to not really making a decision. Your decision points often go unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of daily responsibilities while running your nonprofit. They may appear inconsequential at first glance, but their cumulative impact can be profound. 🟧 The decisions we default to: We often make decisions by default. Rather than making a decision, we put our attention, focus and resources into reacting to:
When we aren't making choices... We tend to follow this path: If A happens, I do B. That's not a decision 👉🏻 Just because you get invited to a meeting doesn't mean you need to attend it. 👉🏻 Just because it came into your inbox doesn't mean you are the one to deal with it or you need to deal with it today. 👉🏻 Just because someone asks for "just a minute," you don't have to say yes. We say we are making a choice, but really we aren't deciding anything. So, when we say the choice is either I do the work or the work doesn't get done, that's not a choice. That is a victim mentality. Or if we say, either I stay late or do it in the morning. What were you deciding? Which punishment to take? It's an either/or, with neither option being optimal. They're both sides of the same coin. You've given your power away! What often happens is we're not really making a decision. Instead, we are making excuses about why we're doing what we're doing or why we are doing it. We are pointing fingers (the funder needs it), resigning to martyr syndrome (I'm the only one who can do it) or getting caught up in survival mode just running around the hampster wheel (another day...) By neglecting to recognize these decision points, we as leaders miss opportunities to cultivate our character and steer our organizations and teams in the right direction. 🙋🏼♀️ It's time to cultivate your awareness of decision points Leading with authenticity and strong character requires a shift from reactive to proactive decision-making. Instead of simply reacting to circumstances, intentional leaders make conscious choices that align with their beliefs, core values and long-term vision. 🟨 Decisions drive character development But they must be: ✅ Done deliberately ✅ Made intentionally ✅ From a place of consciousness To unlock the power of decision-making, cultivating awareness is paramount Taking time for self-reflection and introspection via The Inner Guidance Cycle allows leaders to identify decision points that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks. You can seize these pivotal moments and harness them for character development by heightening your awareness. Using The Inner Guidance Cycle to make intentional decisions When you intentionally make a decision, you must first PAUSE, slow down and then PONDER. By contemplating the paths ahead of you, you will PIVOT, realizing it is not an either/or approach, but you will see the options, opportunities and outcomes you can create. Finally, after purposefully deciding, you'll PROCEED back into action. 🟦 A choice point is an opportunity for you to choose: ✔️ What you are saying or not saying ✔️ What you are doing or not doing ✔️ Who you are being in the process 🔀 You need to develop a decision-making framework with decision-making criteria To make more intentional decisions, you need to construct a decision-making framework. This framework serves as a guide, offering a structured approach to navigating complex choices. This way, you can ensure that your decisions align with your beliefs, values, goals, and the greater purpose of the nonprofit you are leading. Your framework will include considerations to ponder when making your choice. You'll want to run your options around criteria like your beliefs, values, time, resources, strengths, interests, team pressure points, etc. Using these filters will help you choose wisely with a better sense of your current and future perspectives. 🆘 In the Decisive Decision-Making course in The Training Library, you'll find a framework you can use. Questions to ensure you are making decisions with your strengths of character When you are pondering your options, you'll want to ask these questions: Is this action/decision a statement of
It's all about the Inner Work! Learning to lead with authenticity and strong character is a transformative journey for you as you lead your nonprofits. It's a personal development journey that will profoundly affect your leadership. It requires you to grow from the inside out! By recognizing the power of choice points, cultivating your awareness of where they show up, and embracing those decision points intentionally, you can navigate your leadership with purpose and integrity. Developing decision-making criteria based on values, time, resources, interests, skills, and expectations provides a solid foundation for making better choices that align with your character and foster your growth and that of your team and organization. P.S. If you want the decision-making framework worksheet, you'll find it inside The Training Library in the course Decisive Decision Making. |
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