Set Goals: Based on how you want to feel!

When was the last time you PLANNED how you wanted to feel? That is a crazy notion, isn't it? However, if you do it, you will find that you have a way different year ahead of you!

Look back for lessons
In my last blog post, I encouraged you to look back over the past year for the lessons you learned. I suggested that by reviewing how things turned out in different situations, you can collect ideas for what you may want to do differently in the future.  If you want different results, then you need to do something else. Doing last week's exercise should have highlighted some areas of your life that you want to change.

Look ahead to choose feelings
Now that you have taken a look back, it's time to pivot and look forward. Both the backward review and peering into the future are all part of laying a solid foundation before you set goals for the new year.

As you inspect what might unfold for you in the new year, I want you to consider how you want to feel.  Yes, instead of thinking about what you want to achieve or what you are hoping to accomplish, I want you to think about feelings for a moment. 

This is not what you want...
What is it that you want to experience next year? We all know what we don't want:

• We are tired of feeling stuck
• We don't want to feel exhausted.
• We hate the constant feeling of overwhelm
• We are fed up with the repetitiveness of the same old hamster wheel

Consider the experience you want
But if not that, then what? That's the easy part. We complain, bitch and moan all the time about what we don't want. However, continuing that cycle in your head only keeps you stuck on the negative. Instead, you need to look for something different. 

Consider for a moment what feelings and experiences do you want in the coming year. Here are some examples of what feelings you may be looking for:

• Perhaps you want to feel more energetic
• Maybe you want to feel more at peace with yourself.
• It could be that you are looking to feel a deeper sense of connection with someone
• You want to feel more engaged in your work,

Hold off on developing goals
If your mind keeps going to goals, step back from them for a bit. Setting goals are important. And we will get there. But the goal is not the whole picture. When we only identify the target, we miss why attaining that is so important. 

When you ask yourself what you are looking to accomplish a goal or achieve something, it's about the feeling that you will get as a result of completing it.

• Why is that so important to you? 
• What difference does it make if you achieve that? 
• Why does it matter so much?

It matters because it's doing that thing, or achieving that thing means you have a certain feeling as a result. It's that feeling that I want you to focus on now.

Consider this
I come back to one of the most popular. Goals that everyone identifies each year to become healthier. So what difference does it make if you lose weight or change your eating habits? 

• You will probably feel more lively. 
• You will find you have increased energy. 
• Perhaps you will feel more alert.

Imagine though that you want to do something different at work, go back to school, apply for a new position or start a new project. Consider that outcome for a moment and think about what the feeling is that you are longing for. Changing jobs will make you feel what? 

• More engaged? 
• More aligned with your values? 
• Will it make you feel more fulfilled?

Where do you already feel that?
The second part of this exercise is to consider the list of feelings that you've identified. Then, look at where you already experienced those feelings now. 

• If you're looking to feel happier when was the last time you felt happy?
• If you're looking to feel more energetic, perhaps you noticed that was happening on the weekend when you have more sleep. 
• If you want to feel a sense of peace, you may see you felt it after you took a lunch break the other day.

These are clues then as to what you want more of in the new year. It is this information that will help you set goals. 

Combine the lessons learned and feelings desired
Pulling these two concepts together (lessons + feelings) looks like this:

• Perhaps looking back, you learned that late nights drag you down. Maybe you realize that the lesson is you get sick when you work yourself to the bone.
  • When you looked at the feelings you desire, it may have been to feel more energized. You see, you feel that when you have more sleep or catnap in the middle of the day.
    • A goal for the new year might be to get more sleep.

 

• If you looked back and realized that no matter what, you can't connect to this job, you saw your commitment level drop and your desire to go to work each day fades. The lesson you learned was this organization isn't aligned with your values and vision.
  • Looking forward, you might crave that feeling of a deeper connection to your work. You see the glimpses of that when you work on a certain project. That is a clue for you about the kind of work you could cultivate in the new year.
    • A goal might be around exploring options in that area.

Looking back and then ahead
When you pull out lessons learned and pair that with the desired feelings you have for the future, you are in a great place to set goals for the future. Take the time in the next week or two to let these two ideas sit with you. Come back to them a few times. Journal some thoughts about them. Talk to others in your life about it as well. Slowing down to get a handle on your life intentionally, will put you back in the driver's seat. From there, you can create your future yourself, rather than just watch it unfold!

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