Confidence = Getting a grip on the voices in your head

Mind chatter:

• You suck!
• Are you stupid?
• You just got walked on, again!
• I can’t believe you just did that!

The self-sabotaging remarks we think wreak havoc on our confidence. The constant onslaught of judgments that reel through our mind does more to challenge our confidence than what other people actually utter.

The Voice
These gremlins in our mind have a name. They are called Resistance.
 
Resistance is the voice inside us that keeps us small
It prevents us from doing anything out of the norm. It is working very hard to keep things status quo. Resistance shoves us away from our truly important work. It distracts us from doing the work that will have our strengths and our greatness shine. Resistance prevents us from meeting our potential.

​Resistance might show up for you as follows:

• Avoiding a progress report you are supposed to write.
• Dodging the email response, you need to compose to your boss.
• Putting off having a much-needed conversation with an employee. 

​Instead of working on these things:

• You check your inbox, again.
• You go to get another cup of coffee, careful to avoid the employee you should be talking to.
• You start on the staff meeting agenda because it must be done.

None of those is truly more important than writing the progress report, talking to the staff or composing the email, but you didn’t even notice Resistance sneaking in and keeping things just the way they are. 

"Don't rock the boat" Resistance whispers

​Resistance job is to keep things status quo
 
But status quo means no change. It means you will continue to feel stuck and trapped. Resistance robs you of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. If you don’t change, nothing will change.
 
This is how it looks in your daily work
Resistance shows up as fear, doubt, procrastination, perfectionism, distraction and withdrawal.

FEAR – I am scared to do that. I’m worried about repercussions.
 
DOUBT – I don’t think I can handle it. I am not sure I am capable.
 
PROCRASTINATION – I will do it later. There are other things needing to be done first.
 
PERFECTIONISM – It’s still not quite right, so I won’t send it. I have the find the right time to talk to her.
 
DISTRACTION – Oh crap, I was supposed to do that today. I totally forgot, with everything else going on.
 
WITHDRAWL – I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t even know where to start. I just can’t handle it now. 

Here is what to do
Move through it. Resistance is a self-made wall. It’s the mental block you have created in your mind. Fear is internal. You create doubt. Only you allow yourself to get distracted. It's time to get control of the mind chatter.
 
Step #1 – Increase your AWARENESS of your mind chatter
Listen to what is going on in your mind. It’s the constant dialogue that goes on inside your mind that is an important piece. The thing you must realize is that you can control it. It is up to you to notice and then to talk back.
 
Step # 2 - Identify your VALUES and your GOAL.
Why is it important that you move this barrier or step through this wall? Is it because you are working too many hours and you value your time with your family? Reminding yourself of that goal will help you to pull you through the wall that the voice of Resistance has built.
 
Step # 3 – Persist, PERSIST, Persist
Be determined to move through the wall. Stick with it. Come back to the thing you want, again and again. Sheer will and drive will get you past resistance and moving to what you really want.

Examples of moving through Resistance
 
The Resistant voice: It’s not quite right. I can’t send it yet.
The voice of Confidence: Actually, it’s good enough. It’s my best, and I need to move past this. Hit send now!
 
The Resistant voice: She’s with Cindy. I can’t address the issue now.
The voice of Confidence: So ask her to come to your office. Don’t put this off again. Deal with it now.
 
The resistant voice: I’m worried she’s going to be mad
The voice of Confidence: She might be mad. So? You’d be mad too. That doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to address it.

Start to pay more attention to the voices in your head. Take control of what you are saying to yourself. Persevere. If you get connected to why you want something, the determined, confident voice will win.