Learning to LOVE Leadership

,Do you have a love/hate relationship with your job, your role, your team or your organization?
I sure did! It sucked the life and fun out of me!
Do you want to learn how to lose the loathing love the work? 
On this week's FB Live show I talked about what I did and you can too - to learn to love leadership. Let me give you a bit of an overview here.

I was in a pretty toxic environment
In my book Mastering Confidence, I tell the story of a time when my team was just a wee bit toxic. Ok, honestly, very toxic. At the time, I blamed everyone around me. It was her fault, his fault, and their fault. Certainly, I wasn't the one to blame. As such, I didn't want to go to work. I dreaded it each morning as I got ready and headed into the office. Whenever I could, I avoided certain people, teams, and sites. I loathed my job.

It took a shift in my mindset and some learning to turn that around.. I need to take responsibility for my self, my impact and move from victim to leader. I find that many of the women I work with also struggle in this way.

My client was in a pretty toxic environment
Take Rebecca for example, she came to me a few months into a new promotion. Initially, when she took the role of a supervisor on she loved it. That quickly turned to overwhelm, extreme dislike for her boss and frustration with her team. Rebecca felt like no one listened or cared about the work or her. She found she was turning into an uncaring person, simply focused on the tasks for the day. 

We both need to see things differently
When we started coaching, the first thing I began to do was help Rebecca gain an understanding of herself. She needed to get clear on what her values were. She began to get more connected to her inner guidance system, which helped her recognize what triggered her, her self-talk and take back control of her emotions. It was the same place I started when I turned my team back around from toxic to strong. Once I figured out how important family was to me, honesty and my deep connection to the work we were doing, I quickly realized why I had reacted to so many things that had happened in the preceding months. 

We moved from ourselves to focusing on our team
The next thing I worked with Rebecca on was helping her to see her team as individuals and realize her job was to grow them. She started to see them differently as I'd also began to see my team in a new light. It is always fascinating for me to watch my clients now take the same journey that I did so many years ago. That path is seeing an individual's strengths, identifying their potential and putting a focus on growing them and helping them to realize their full potential. It's an amazing feeling to turn from seeing your staff as "problems to be fixed" to "potential to be drawn out."

We both reconnected to the love of our job
The final thing that helped Rebecca to learn to love her leadership role again was taking her newfound inner growth and her shift in her mindset about her team to the bigger purpose of their work. Why do you do what you do? What difference does your work make to the community you serve? These questions helped me years ago to really find that passion and inner spark again. Rebecca lit up too when she began to find the answers to these questions. 

This is what we did in a nutshell
These three things, are the things you can also do to move from loathing your leadership role to loving your leadership role

1. Grow yourself from the inside out
2. Grow your team members
3. Connect you and your team to your purpose

Grow yourself
When we get stagnant, bored or overwhelmed, it's often because we've been focusing on everything that's been happening and missed growing ourselves. That might be taking some training, but more so in leadership, it is an inner growth journey you need to go on. You need to get clear on who you are and the type of leader you want to be. That inner journey helps you to identify your vision for your work and your team and reignites your passion for your work. It is the journey I take my women on who go through the in the courses in The Training Library. The courses help you to increase your Emotional Intelligence. This is a critical component for successful leaders.

Grow others
A really great leader knows their primary job is to grow their team members. They know they need to find that nugget inside each employee and make it shine. That often takes some effort and considerable patience. But it's worth it. You need to coach, mentor and inspire your employees. You are looking to take them from an average employee to a stellar team member. See that potential within them and draw it out. This is a skill...one you can master my dear if you work at it! See it as a challenge, rather than a problem.
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Connect to your purpose 
What legacy do you want your team to leave? I know, that seems like a strange question, and one we rarely consider. However, it is a vitally important question to ask if you want to do great things with your team. And, if you are still reading this, my dear, I know that is exactly what you want. Take time to consider what you are passionate about. Journal about the difference you want to make for your customers or clients. Ask yourself, how do I want to serve them. Reconnect to why you do what you do.

My final thoughts for you
To move from loathing your leadership role to loving it takes some time. Let's be honest; Leadership is a tough gig! However, these three things, when you put your focus on them, will help you to make that shift more permanent. Grow yourself from the inside out. Focus on seeing the potential in your employees and focus on growing them. Then, take yourself and your team and remind yourselves today and every day...why you do what you do. Trust me, my dear, you will find the love for your work again...as soon as you do!