Hey Coach Kathy...
This seems to be the theme of my clients this week. The third week in January has caught people off the high of Christmas break and back into the reality of the world. And it can suck!
How do I stay positive?
How to you stay positive, motivated and moving towards your goals when you feel tired, overwhelmed and challenged is not easy.
The messages we hear tell us to keep our chin up
Look at the Facebook posts. Read motivational books. They tell us:
I can be done. The secret is behind your eyes.
It is not what you see that makes up your reality, but what you think about what you see. We all experience similar events, but react to them differently. I can wait in line and feel quite mellow. You however, might be anxious waiting in line.
If you get a call from your kids’s teacher because your teenager has missing assignments and you might feel angry. Someone else might feel embarrassed. A third parent might be grateful for the call.
The third parent may have had some concerns and tells themselves when the teacher calls that “Someone is on my side. We can work together to help my child out.” The embarrassed parent tells themselves “I haven’t done a good job of raising my child.” The angry parent probably has thoughts something like “That little #%Q^”.
Those inner voices are the most powerful things in our body. They control every one of our experiences. The messages we tell ourselves about our events create our reality of the event.
Our inner dialogue controls our outer experience
If I tell myself that running my own business is hard,; I will notice all of the hard things that I experience every day. If I instead tell myself that running my own business will be full of learning opportunities, I will see lessons I have learned.
The secret is getting control of what is going on in your head.
How do you stay positive, motivated and on track?
You get aware of your runaway thoughts. Then you get in control of your thoughts.
You are the boss. Now be the boss!
So, you’ve set some goals.
1. Did you write them down?
2. Do you know why those goals are important AND did you write that down too?
No? Yes? Are you really clear?
What difference does it make if you loose weight? Get more organized? Complete that course?
If you’ve document a goal, but have not also documented why that goal is important, you will loose sight of that, especially when the going gets tough. Our why helps connect us and ground us to our goal. Our why is often about how we want to feel when we reach the goal.
I was coaching a client through this process yesterday. She want to be certified in an area of her expertise. Why though? Completing it is one thing. But feeling confident, competent and the feeling a level of security in her job by passing the certification is key.
3. Do you have a system in place to review your goals regularly?
No? Oh man….we gotta talk!
This is one of the most crucial parts of goal setting. You need a system to come back to regularly reviewing goals, at minimum, weekly. Think about why system you might use. I will give you more on this concept next week.
Bonus – In addition to your goals, do you have some regular questions to review for 2015?
By adding a few key questions to your weekly review you will be making space for conscious and intentional self-reflection.
You might ask yourself:
Simply by writing the answers to these questions regularly throughout the year, you will have some powerful insights. They may well inform your goals for 2016 as well.
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Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.