3 Habits that will strengthen your leadership

Fundamental to successful leadership is the formation of a heightened level of self-awareness.  Sadly, too many managers spend more time finger-pointing than spending time doing introspective reflection. It is when you spend time curiously exploring what is going on in our minds and bodies, that we are better able to respond to the intricacies of running an organization. 

Getting a sense of who you really are is critical
Self-awareness helps you to explore who you are. Putting your attention on yourself helps you to find clarity on what is critical, meaningful and necessary for you. Further, this inner contemplation facilitates your understanding of why all of that is so dang important. Your insights into your unique traits and your individual personality guide you in being more impactful in your interactions with the world.

Self-awareness and the strong leader

• Strong leaders are emotionally intelligent. They understand their emotions and manage those emotions when they show up. That takes self-awareness.
• Strong leaders are good communicators. They know when their buttons are being pushed and why. They use that insight to respond to the other person rather than react. That takes self-awareness.
• Strong leaders are moving forward with a vision. They know where they are taking their team. That vision comes from taking some time to explore where they want to go. That takes self-awareness.

It's time to explore you
Self-awareness starts by exploring what is going on under the surface. It is often the unconscious that one needs to get more curious about and explore more. This inner exploration takes time and focused attention.

To intentionally be progressively more self-aware, try to instill these three habits.

3 habits to establish to increase your self-awareness

1.  Journal Daily 
Stop and take time daily to reflect. Go over a situation that happened and write about it. Writing it is an incredibly powerful way to look at the experience more objectively.
To get access to many journaling worksheets check out the free guides here

Write about an event

• What did you say and how were you acting? 
• What did the other person say and do? More importantly, what reaction did their words and actions bring out in you?

2. Name and label some of the feelings you were experiencing
Move from the one umbrella feeling anger, to what caused that anger. We often react to someone angrily, because we feel embarrassed, shamed, humiliated, afraid or jealous.

3. Write about what you want 
Next, journal about how you would like to respond to similar situations in the future. Look for your own growth. What are your goals? What are you working on? Journal about the successes you’ve had with them. ​

2.  Set reminders
While journaling is a looking back exercise, we also need to practice getting more aware in the moment. It’s helpful to catch yourself expectantly during the day to check in.
Learn more about this strategy on page 130 of Mastering Confidence

Develop an alert system that prompts you to check in with yourself to see how you are feeling, what you are thinking and how on track you are. 

• I use alarms on my phone that go off periodically throughout the day to remind me to check in with myself. When they go off, I briefly pause to go inside and ask myself how am I doing. I notice if my shoulders are tense or if my thoughts are stuck on repeat on something that is bugging me. It also reminds me to take a breath and come back to the task at hand. 
• You could also use sticky notes strategically placed around your office to remind you to check in. One of my clients put notes on the back of the bathroom door to remind her. It could be that you get into the habit of doing it every time you hop into your vehicle to go for lunch. This reminder can be something you do all the time or have a bit of an element of surprise to it.

When that trigger goes off, or you see it, use it as the reminder to you ask yourself the following questions:

• What am I feeling right now emotionally?
• What thoughts are rolling around in my head? 
• What is happening in my body viscerally?

Activating your self-awareness in this way reminds you to come back to the present moment and get a sense of what's going on under the surface for you. It allows you to regain conscious control of your emotions and your focus. 

3. Practice Mindfulness
Installing a habit of mindful moments in your day grows your mindful muscles. Being able to focus on priorities, conversation and tasks despite environmental distractions and internal narratives take practice. Create a habit of mindfulness activities daily to practice this piece. Here are a couple of options:

Learn more about this in the Breath Magic webinar in The Training Library

Breath Meditation
Sit in a quiet place and focus on your breath for 10 minutes. “Watch” your breath as it comes in and goes out. As you do, feel the rise and fall of your chest or the way the air comes in and out of your nostrils.  Don't try to stop thinking. Just notice when your thoughts wander off and when they do, bring them back to your breath. Do this again, and again. You are training your mind to focus on one thing at a time. Make a game of it. It won't be easy at first. Don't judge your effectiveness. Celebrate when you catch your mind wandering and bring it back. You just scored a point when you catch yourself wandering. 

Guided Meditation
There are various programs and apps out there that walk you through a meditation experience. Find one that you like and listen to it daily. 

Mindfulness during daily activities
Pay attention to your actions when you're washing your hands.  Rather than being a million miles away, focus on your hands under the warm water. Smell the scent of the soap. Feel your hands rubbing together.  Notice the warmth of the water. Like mindful meditation, mindful activities keep you consciously focused rather than aimlessly thinking random thoughts.

Habits that increase self-awareness = Stronger Leadership
When you install daily habits such as journaling, becoming more aware in the moment and mindfulness, you will increase your self-awareness. This improved understanding of your inner workings will support your leadership development. Knowing and having a better understanding of what is going on for you helps you to manage it and choose how you want to respond. This level of control of your emotions and actions puts you in a much more powerful place to lead and impact your team confidently. ​

Question for you:
I want to hear what you think. Comment below,

• Which of these habits do you want to work on?
• How will you do that?

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