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Career + Balance -  Ladies, you can have both!

23/11/2016

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​You can either move into a leadership position, or you can keep plugging along where you are and maintain some resemblance of balance in life.
But you can’t have both.
It’s either a career or balance. You decide!
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Hidden Messages Plague Women
​How many times have you heard that you can't have both? Probably not always outright, but if you read between the lines, it’s there. 
  • Oh! You need time off for the kid’s dentist appointment? Sure, we can reschedule that meeting, or perhaps, we will just get someone to cover for you. 
    • The hidden message: If you put your family ahead of work, we’ll just replace you with someone who is more dedicated to the job.
  • I need you to work late on this.
    • The hidden message: Especially when this is given as a directive, without questioning if you are able, is that it is obvious it doesn’t matter what else is going on in your life, this is more important.
  • You look tired/frazzled/rough! 
    • The hidden message: You really can’t handle the pressure of leadership.
​We do it all
So they don’t have to decide either a career or balance, women try to do it all:

Setting the pace for the day, we open our email before the sleepy crust is out of our eyes.  The speed quickens as we scurry around to get the dog fed and the kids out the door on time. We respond to everyone else’s needs all day jumping from meeting to email to conversation. The race continues into the evening as we dash through errands, supper, laundry and whatever event is scheduled that night. To catch our breath, we decide to unwind in front of the TV. However, we still have our email open, trying in vain, to catch up before the wheel begins to spin again tomorrow. 
We are anything, but balanced!
Missing the meaningful things
​I know that women leaders spend their days chasing fires and solving everyone else’s problems. At the end of their days, thought, they feel as though they didn’t get anywhere. 
  • They missed the conversation with their spouse, kid or employee the wanted to have. 
  • They didn’t get the chance to work out, again. 
  • They never got to read the book they wanted to start
  • Nor did they find the time to check in on their favorite client.
  • They didn’t get to the passion project that has been sitting on the side of their desk
  • Their to do list isn’t any shorter. If anything, it grew. 
  • They didn’t find any burst of energy or enthusiasm or joy. 
But, there is always tomorrow, right?
Change your tomorrow!
Darn right! Tomorrow is another day. I believe that women can choose to change their tomorrows, given the opportunity, support and information. The catch is they have to decide to make the best of opportunities when they are presented. 
​
Choose a different way
Choosing something different isn’t easy, in fact, it can be painful!
  • To say no to the boss or board chair brings its own bag of guilt. 
  • Leaving at 5:00 pm when there is still work to do, has a ripple effect into tomorrow. 
  • Telling your kid you can’t watch their big game because you will be on the road sets off inner gremlins that can wreck havoc for weeks! 
I know, trust my, I was there. 

Some days, I chose puke
My babysitter Faith was amazing. But that didn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks, as I drove away after dropping off my vomiting toddler at 5:45 am so I could catch the plane to the city for that “big” meeting. It was a choice I had to make. Barfing child or a conference with the big wigs. That day, I prioritized my commitment to my clients and the work our team was doing. On other days, I elected for scrubbing puke off the coach.

Don't live in default mode
Again and again in my leadership, I was presented with opportunities to make choices. How I made my decisions, was the crux of building the life I wanted. If you want to stop choosing between career or life, you have to get good at making other choices. Living your life in default mode and letting others make the decisions for you, creates frustration, bitterness, and resentment. 
Nothing will change if you never choose
Marianas Trench
Click here and learn how to BUILD A PLAN to get out of survival mode!
I doesn't have to be either/or
I believe a woman can move into leadership positions and at the same time, find a decent amount of balance in their life. To do this, they need to develop the confidence to make good choices. That confidence is the thing that will help them, do the inner work necessary for compelling leadership. By developing themselves, women develop their character and strengthen their integrity. These are the two fundamental traits needed for credible, competent and effective leadership. They are also the two qualities that help women to lead full and rich live both at work and beyond. ​

​The 3rd Option

I want women leaders to know they don’t have to decide anymore. They have a 3rd option. Women can have both a career as a strong and impactful leader and at the same time, have a level of balance in their lives. I grow courage and confidence in women leaders so they can make good choices. I give them the inner and outer tools to move from just surviving to thriving.
Develop your confidence so you can make good choices
Click here and learn how to BUILD A PLAN to get out of survival mode!
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  • Home
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