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3 Tips to help you measure immeasurable goals

26/1/2023

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If you want to make this year different, then you've likely set goals for yourself, and if you're serious, you've probably created a plan for how you will reach those goals. The Next Step? It's to measure your progress. 

But how do you measure goals that seem immeasurable? 🤷‍♀️
These 3 tips can help you 👇🏻


Measure the use of the TOOL
​

Think about what you will use to help you reach your goal. Get clear on how you will use that tool. Then measure the usage of that tool. For example

GOAL: Be better able to focus on important but not urgent work
  • TOOL: Practicing meditation
MEASUREMENT: Measure how frequently you meditate

GOAL: To feel more confident in staff meetings
  • TOOL: A Journal to track and shift thoughts
MEASUREMENT: How often are you journaling your thoughts?

GOAL: To spend more time doing strategic thinking
  • TOOL: Getting away from your desk and going for a walk
MEASUREMENT: Count the times each week you walk and are simply alone with your thoughts


Measure the HABIT you need to instill to help you reach your target.

If your goal this year is a more work-life balance, habitually leaving work on time will provide more balance. Therefore, you could measure how often you leave work at five o'clock.

To feel more confident in staff meetings, you'll need to be more intentional before going into staff meetings. Choosing how you will respond instead of reacting to a trigger needs to become a habit before meetings. Therefore, you'll measure how often you preplan how you'll manage your emotions during the meeting. Is it becoming a habit that you naturally do?

When you find yourself stuck on a problem, you've likely been trying to figure it out in a linear, analytical or in-the-box way. Instead, you may need to think more freely, creatively, or strategically. When you create the habit of scheduling "thinking" time into your week, you'll be on your way to finding more time to think. Count the times you do it. Has it become a weekly habit yet?


Measure the MILESTONES along the journey to the goal

Completion of goals takes time and often involves many steps. However, we feel more engaged in our goals when we can see progress along the way. Therefore, checking off each milestone along the way is a way to measure progress.

FOCUS
Did you pick which app you'll meditate with?
  • Check it off.
Did you start with two minutes, but a week later moved up to 3 minutes?
  • Check it off.

CONFIDENCE
Did you find a journal or scribbler to write down your thoughts in?
  • Note that as a milestone.
Have you journaled for at least five days in one week?
  • Celebrate. You hit another milestone.


STRATEGIC THINKING
Did you do your first walk to think, despite feeling guilty about all the work you were walking away from?
  • That counts as a point along the journey!
Did you tell someone you were "going to think" and not apologize for it?
  • Write that down. That's another big step towards your goal. 



You can't manage what you don't measure says Peter Druker
You'll need to measure your progress regularly to help you achieve your goals this year. To help you do that...
  • Measure the use of the TOOL
  • Measure the HABIT you need to instill to help you reach your target
  • Measure the MILESTONES along the journey to the goal

Review this regularly, and you'll FEEL the difference!
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Too late? No! Here is an easy way to set your leadership goals today

18/1/2023

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​No goals yet for this year? It's not too late

It is the third week in January already, and perhaps you are one of the ones who have yet to set your goals for the year. I have many clients in your shoes. They need to find the time to draft their goals but are struggling. But rest assured. It is not too late to set them. Now that the dust of the holidays has settled, you may be in a better place to do that. 


Setting goals is essential to leading a nonprofit organization but also essential to the development of your capacity to lead. Yet, it can be challenging to find the time and focus on doing so amidst the busyness of day-to-day operations. Below you'll find easy strategies to help you develop goals that will build your competence and confidence as a leader this year.


You do need goals
First, let's get clear. You do need goals. As teleological beings, we perform at our best when we have targets to work towards. You know this if you say you do your best work at the last minute. A looming due date is a fabulous target to motivate most of us. 


Without goals, you wander in circles
Without goals, we can quickly feel like we are just going through the motions and not making progress. Without targets, you are wandering aimlessly. That is why you may feel like you are just going in circles!


With goals, you are intentionally creating your leadership experience
Are you taking an active role in shaping your future? You are if you are intentionally creating life, days, your career and your personal life as you choose. 


When you are intentional, you create your leadership and life experiences by reflecting, deciding, setting goals and planning, all before you take action.


The easy goal-setting method
​
Gather thoughts
Whenever anything comes to mind about your goals, jot it down on a sticky note or digital file. Your brain is always thinking, and you have ideas, awarenesses and ah-has. Those are important to capture.


Schedule time to review last year
As little time as 5 minutes will do. Begin by reviewing the past year and reflecting on your strengths, areas of growth, and accomplishment. Here are some prompts to get you started:
  • I have grown stronger in this way last year...
  • The part of me that is coming alive that I am loving is...
  • This is the part of my inner growth that I am most proud of last year...

EXTRA HELP: Nonprofit leaders, you need to do this now to make next year amazing!

Create a future vision
Knowing where you are going will help you get there. It would help if you had that target to aim at. Craft a quick vision of what you want in your future by answering these questions:

​
If I have the "perfect" life, career and relationship:
  • This is what it would look like...
  • This is what it would feel like...
  • These are the kinds of things that would be happening...
  • These are the kinds of conversations I'd be having...


EXTRA HELP: Most nonprofit leaders miss this step critical step when setting goals


Rough out your goals
Consider the steps you need to take this year to move closer to that vision. Draft 2-3 goals to help you achieve that vision. They don't need to be perfect, SMART or finalized. Draft is the important word here. You'll continue to refine them as you work on them. Just get something down on paper as a starting point. 


Expand the goal into a plan
Once you have your goals, develop a plan to achieve them, including specific actions, practices, and training.


Consider what habits you need to develop to maintain your goals over the long term. 
  • What daily actions will you need to take to stay on track? 
  • How will you make those habits a part of your daily routine?


EXTRA HELP: Create your plan to ditch "Survival Mode"

An example of how it works:


Vision
Perhaps you imagined yourself as a courageous leader. You visualized how you are stronger, more assertive and more confident. You got a sense that as you grew, you could feel yourself doing tough things like addressing issues, setting boundaries and being true to yourself.


Goal
Your goal could be to increase your confidence level in your leadership role. 


Plan
Your plan could include:
  • Learn to manage my thoughts by reading and applying the concepts in the book: Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system. 
  • Learning more about leadership competencies by
  • Reading leadership books
  • Listen to podcasts.
  • Attend training.
  • Practice public speaking by joining Toastmasters. 


The bottom line 
Taking the time to set goals and create a plan to achieve them intentionally can significantly impact the success of your leadership and personal life. By being intentional and self-reflective, you can progress toward your desired experience of blending life and career. Regardless of the time of year, it's always possible to start creating the future you want.
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You must add the 3 components to your leadership goals today

12/1/2023

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​Creating goals for yourself allows you to find a different experience in life. Rather than letting your days unfold before you and reacting to whatever fire flares up, you need to design your experience of leadership and life. Creating a plan to go with your goals will make your life more enjoyable.


The Components of Effective Goals​
As you design your goals for the coming year, include the following three components.



PART # 1 - The Outcome You Desire
First is the part of the goals that most people set. It is the outer part of the goal because they are outside of you. It often happens in the outside world that you can see or touch when you reach your goal. You can point to them and say I did that!

Outcome examples 
  • Finish a course
  • Expand a program
  • Complete your policy manual


PART # 2 - The Internal Shift You Need to Make
The next part of the goal is the internal shift. To succeed at reaching your goal, you often need a change inside you. It is connected to your thoughts and emotions and often includes a degree of inner discipline. 

Examples of internal shifts
  • Feel confident saying no
  • Cultivating an attitude of gratitude
  • Having the courage to address tough conversations


PART # 3 - What habit do you need to cultivate?
The final part of a good plan to achieve your goals is clarifying the habits you'll need to cultivate to achieve your goals. The difference between a habit and a goal is:
  • The goal is the final "thing" that you can see.
  • You must do the habit regularly to help you achieve that goal.
The habit allows you to achieve the goal.

Examples of habits
  • Leaving the laptop at work
  • Spending 10 minutes each morning reviewing the day before getting into email
  • Taking 15 minutes toward the end of the day to engage in a self-reflection exercise

When you include all three components, you develop a well-rounded plan to work on and regularly review to ensure you are on track. Let's work through some examples to help make sense of how you can apply this in your nonprofit role. 


Task-related goals examples:

Outcome  – Complete a review of the policy manual.
Inner shift - A policy manual is not a thing. It's how we do our work.
Habit to cultivate – Have staff rotate a review of policies at each staff meeting, sharing examples of how they applied policy, reviewed the policy or identified the need for revisions,

Outcome – Create a new hire experience we follow each time we hire a new employee.
Inner shift - Shifting thoughts to: Our work is never done. We have to create systems to help us with cycles. 
Habit to cultivate – Review the new employee routine every six months to see what's working and what we can improve on.
 ​

Individual Leadership Goals Examples:

Outcome – Leave the office at 5 pm daily
Internal Shift - Shifting my thoughts to "It's ok for me to leave at 5 pm," which will create an increased feeling of work-life balance

Habits to cultivate
  • Block the last 30 minutes of my day to tidy up. 
  • Ensure that I don't schedule any meetings past 4:30 pm

Outcome – Develop An Attitude of Gratitude 
If you are cultivating gratitude, you may think the goal is to write in a gratitude journal daily. That will help, but there are other things to do. For example, many people write down a list of things they are grateful for and wonder why it doesn't change their life. 

The Inner Shift - To truly cultivate an attitude of gratitude, you need to slow the process down and connect emotionally with the thing you are recording. Gratitude is a feeling, not a doing. You FEEL grateful. You don't DO grateful. Therefore to achieve this goal, you need to understand what it feels like in your body when you are grateful and then "do" more to cultivate that feeling. That's an internal shift. 

Habit to cultivate – Taking a deep breath after you've written your grateful statement, closing your eyes, reliving the situation you are thankful for, and feeling it in your body again. 

For my members of The Training Library, you'll find a lesson and worksheet on gratitude here.

Outcome - Get better at setting boundaires
Learning to say no more often may be about setting boundaries with those around you regarding what you will and will not do. Often just setting limits creates more stress in a person's life. A true shift in setting boundaries is understanding why you have the urge to say yes in the first place. That's an internal shift.

The Inner Shift - Boundary setting requires self-discipline. You need to resist that urge to please everyone around you. To feel good about the boundaries you set requires you to change the inner dialogue that insists you "must" respond or:
  • They won't like me
  • I won't get the promotion
  • They will think I don't care

The habit to cultivate - To be more comfortable setting boundaries, you may need to create a habit of self-reflection. Each week, take time first to write down the boundary you want to make. Then consider what thoughts come up when you set that limit and what beliefs and values play a role. That will help you begin to make the inner shift. 


To create your highly successful goals this year:
You need to do more than write a goal statement down. As you set your goals for the year, think about the type of leader you want to be and the impact you want to have on your team, organization, and industry. Also, consider how you want to integrate work and life. Then create goals that will help you be that type of leader with the experience of leadership and life you desire. 


Successful goal setting requires a plan
You will find success when you look at the goals you want to achieve as more than a statement. Take time to develop the outcome, the internal shift and the habits. 
  1. First, look at what you want to happen outside. 
  2. Next, consider the internal shifts you must make. 
  3. Finally, consider the habits you'll need to install to assist you in doing that. 
You'll find much more triumph this year when you create goals in this manner.
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Create a Life of Meaning: Nonprofit Leaders create life and leadership goals

5/1/2023

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If you are like most nonprofit leaders, you hit the ground running this January. 
  • There is that proposal that still needs tweaking. 
  • You need to try and fill staff vacancies and try is the key word as you know it won't be easy! 
  • And it already feels like yearend is looming.
and, and, and...


It feels like we don't get to choose!
If you aren't careful, you'll default to spending this year chasing whatever falls onto your lap, your inbox or shows up at your door. But you can design your life this year rather than wait to see how it unfolds.
​

The problem is that too many women leaders in the nonprofit sector live in default mode. Whatever gets thrown at us, we take on. We are so mired in the tasks and meetings right in front of us we don't even see that we have a choice. 


​But you do have a choice
You can design your leadership and life experience with some planning, and you are worth the time it will take! Trust me!


Your indecision will leave you in default mode
If you don't plan, you live in default mode. Defaulting to others, lack of time, or the expectations set for you, means you don't decide. Your indecision means you give up the ability to create your days and how you want them to be. 


Put together day after day of defaulting to the world, and this is what you will find:
  • Overwhelm
  • You will spend your days putting out fires
  • You will feel stuck, stagnant, bored and frustrated
  • Most days, you will find yourself tipping precariously on the edge of burning out


I felt like I was a victim of my circumstances
I look back in my journals and see when I was in default mode. It's easy to tell. It was when I felt I was the victim. I blamed my mess of a life on others, the job, the sector, society and life in general. I gave up control. 
  • I can't wait until this project is over.
  • If only they would change and see what I need.
  • How many days does one person have to go through this?
  • What a rough day with Sandy. God, I hope she quits soon!
  • Why can't I have time to unwind and relax? No one ever gives me time!"


Women fit their life around everyone else
In default mode, women wait to see what everyone else around them does. Then women try to fit their needs, wants, wishes and dreams into the tiny cracks in the middle. That is, if there are any cracks to be found. Unfortunately, most of us are so busy taking care of the things that need doing that we don't make time for ourselves.


Are you letting everyone else decide your life?
The problem is if you keep going down that path, you will never find what you want. If you don't set goals for yourself, someone else will set them for you. Your organization and your boss or board probably have goals set for you. I bet someone else has decided what you will do at work and in your personal life. You follow the beat of the drums around you. It's time to find your own beat!


Don't get me wrong, your organization should have goals, and in addition to those goals, you should design your own personal goals for your career and your life. 


Stop letting everyone else decide. Create your vision
Designing your life means you step back and determine how you want to experience it. It means you choose what you want and then make that happen. That starts with deciding on a vision and then developing goals to reach that vision. 


Take back your power by making choices​
In design mode, you take back control. You take back your power and make choices.
 You become responsible for the choices and the outcomes of your life. When you do that, you ensure there are time, resources and motivation to reach your goals and dreams, whatever those are.


I gained my power back
I can also see in my journals where I took the time to set goals and the shifts it made in my moods and my day-to-day experiences.
  • I made time for myself tonight.
  • I can't believe how close I am to finishing my degree!
  • I feel at peace with my decision not to apply for the director's position.


Your homework:
​Prepare to design your life:
  1. If you have yet to review last year, grab this free worksheet to do that first
  2. Then, set aside time to contemplate what you want your life and leadership to be like this coming year.
  3. Finally, make notes about the feelings you want to experience and the things you want to accomplish.
Now you are ready to set your goals and design your life!

Live life in design mode
Make a choice. Decide to take back control of your life. Start by taking control of your agenda and setting aside time to plan. You'll be glad you did!
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Most nonprofit leaders miss this step critical step when setting goals

29/12/2022

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As a nonprofit leader, when was the last time you planned how you wanted to feel?
 That is a crazy notion, isn't it? However, if you consider how you want to feel and attach goals to those feelings you desire, you will find that you have a way different year ahead of you!

Start by looking over the past year for lessons
In this post, I encouraged you to look back over the past year for the lessons you learned. Pausing and then pondering how things turned out in different situations allows you to collect ideas for what you want to do differently in the future. 

If you want different results, then you need to do something else. The strategic review of the past year in this post will help you highlight areas of your life that you want to change.


Next, look ahead to choose your feelings
Now that you have taken a look back, it's time to pivot and look forward. The backward review and peering into the future are part of laying a solid foundation before setting goals for the new year.
As you inspect what might unfold in the new year, I want you to consider how you want to feel. Instead of starting by thinking about what you want to achieve or what you are hoping to accomplish, I want you to think about your feelings first.


It may be helpful to note what you DON'T want
Looking at the past year, you can identify what you don't want, and it's an excellent place to start. If you are like most women leading in the nonprofit sector, you know what you don't want:
  • You are tired of feeling stuck.
  • You don't want to feel exhausted.
  • You hate the constant feeling of overwhelm.
  • You are fed up with the repetitiveness of the same old hamster wheel.


Then, it's time to shift
But if not that, then what? That's the easy part. We complain, grumble and moan about what we don't want. However, continuing that cycle of what you don't want in your head keeps you stuck on the negative. Instead, it would be best if you look for something different. 


Consider the experience you DO want
Consider for a moment what feelings and experiences you want in the coming year. Here are some examples of what feelings you may be looking for:
  • Perhaps you want to feel more energetic
  • You may want to feel more at peace with yourself.
  • It could be that you are looking to feel a deeper sense of connection with someone
  • You want to feel more engaged in your work


Hold off on developing goals
If your mind keeps going to goals, step back from them for a bit. Setting goals are important, and we will get there. But the goal is only part of the picture. When we only identify the target, we miss the importance of attaining that. 
When you ask yourself what you want to accomplish a goal or achieve, it's about the feeling you will get as a result of completing it.
  • Why does it matter so much?
  • Why is that so important to you? 
  • What difference does it make if you achieve that? 

It matters because it's doing or achieving something that will produce a certain feeling. So it's that feeling that I want you to focus on now.


Here are some examples
A goal that so many identify each year is to become healthier. So what difference does it make if you lose weight or change your eating habits? 
  • You'll feel more alert
  • You'll feel more confident
  • You'll feel increased energy

Imagine that you want to do something different at work, return to school, apply for a new position or start a new project. Consider that outcome for a moment and think about what the feeling is that you are longing for. 

Changing jobs will make you feel what? 
  • More aligned with your values? 
  • Will it make you feel more fulfilled?


Where do you already feel that?
The second part of this exercise is to consider the list of feelings you've identified. Then, look at where you experienced those feelings now. 
  • If you're looking to feel happier, when was the last time you felt happy?
  • If you're looking to feel more energetic, you noticed that was happening on the weekend when you had more sleep. 
  • If you want to feel a sense of peace, you may see you felt it after you took a lunch break the other day.
These are clues about what you want more of in the new year. It is this information that will help you set goals. 


Combine the lessons learned and feelings desired
Pulling these two concepts together (lessons + feelings) looks like this:
  • Perhaps looking back, you learned that late nights drag you down. You may realize that the lesson is you get sick when you work yourself to the bone.
    • A goal for the new year might be to create a full day on weekends with no work.
 
  • When you look at the feelings you desire, it may have been to feel more energized. You see, you feel that when you have more sleep or catnap in the middle of the day.
    • A goal for the new year might be to get more sleep.
 
  • If you looked back and realized that no matter what, you can't connect to this job, you saw your commitment level drop and your desire to go to work each day fades. The lesson you learned was this organization isn't aligned with your values and vision.
    • A goal for the new year might be to look at how to realign your work with your values.
 
  • Looking forward, you might crave feeling a deeper connection to your work. You see glimpses of that when you work on a specific project. That is a clue for you about the work you could cultivate in the new year.
    • A goal for the new year might be around exploring options in that area.


Looking back and then ahead
When you pull out lessons learned and pair them with the desired feelings you have for the future, you are in a great place to set goals for the future. 

First, take the time to let these two ideas sit with you in the next few days.

Then, come back to them a few times. Journal some thoughts about them. Talk to others in your life about it as well. Slowing down to get a handle on your life intentionally will put you back in the driver's seat. 

Finally, you'll be able to create goals that help you create your future rather than just watch it unfold!​

Complete your Annual Analysis
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​Here is how it works:
  1. Become a member of The Training Library
  2. Complete the course: Leadership Training and Growth Annual Analysis.
  3. Discover, feel and identify ⤵️​ ​
​✅ Discover how effective your growth and development plan has been over the last year

✅ Feel pride as you acknowledge your achievements, inner growth, development and progress
​
✅ Identify the next steps for your continued path towards excellence.
Learn more about completing your Annual Analysis here
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The 5 minute CHRISTMAS self-care strategy

14/12/2022

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As the busyness of the season ramps up, you not only have gifts to buy, baking to do and decorating to complete, but you also have all of that stuff at your programs too! 


PROBLEM: Survival mode
If you aren't careful, you'll end up in survival mode
.
  • Afraid you are going to drop the ball
  • Feeling overwhelmed and behind
  • Endlessly frazzled and grumpy
  • Always run down and sick
  • Constantly exhausted


Survival mode can show up in your body too...It shows up as...
  • Anxiety
  • Migraines
  • Depression
  • Back problems
  • Digestive trouble
  • Frequent Colds & Flu
  • Canker/Cole sores
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Social withdrawal
  • Weight gain/loss
  • Addiction issues
  • Angry outbursts


✏️ Surviving to Thriving Continuum GUIDE: If you are curious about where you land on the Surviving to Thriving continuum, grab this guide

You need to take care of yourself; yes, you have time!
To fend off burnout this holiday season, you must take care of yourself throughout the day. To do that, you need to manage your energy. 

We can't change how many hours are in a day, but we can manage our energy because it's often our energy drained.

Four energy pots are described in The Way We're Working Isn't Working: The Four Forgotten Needs That Energize Great Performance. Of course, for optimal performance, these energy pots would be full. But that may not be a realistic option for you right now. But can you add a bit to one of them to get you through the day and the season?

This is a short-term strategy.
It's a temporary fix until you have time for a deeper charge. But it will keep you from falling apart, burning out and resenting Christmas. 

Take time to consider each pot of energy and how full or empty it is. Then... consider how to put something back into it, in a little 


5 minutes self-care strategy
Take a look at each area and ask yourself 
  1. Which energy pot is emptiest right now
  2. What can I do to put back into my energy reserves - in less than 5 minutes?
  3. Do that thing!


1️⃣ Physical
Physical energy is the foundation of wellness. It includes everything from how you eat, move and sleep. 
If this pot is drained, try one of these things to put a bit of energy back into this pot
  • Eat 
  • Stretch
  • Go pee
  • Drink water
  • Do a tiny bit of yoga
  • Go for a short walk - even around the building
  • Put your head on your desk and take a five-minute nap
  • Close your eyes for a moment and take a few deep breaths


2️⃣ Emotional
Emotional energy is about how you are feeling. So it's your emotions and your moods. 
If this pot is feeling drained or the emotions are about to boil over, try one of these to put things back in balance. 
  • Cry
  • Laugh
  • Dance
  • Scream
  • Write/journal
  • Shake your body 


Yes, these should probably be somewhere private, but they can be done in short bits of time to take the edge off. Go to the bathroom and literally shake your arms and butt, shaking off the icky feelings. Put headphones in and crank up a song that shifts your mood. Sit in your car and let yourself cry for a moment. 


3️⃣ Mental
Mental energy is about your ability to focus your thoughts. 
If this pot is drained and you are having trouble focusing or getting things done, try one of these suggestions to bring back some mental clarity.
  • Breath deeply
  • Colour or doodle
  • Meditate for a few moments
  • Stop multitasking and focus on just one thing. 
  • Clear the clutter in your workspace


4️⃣ Spiritual
Spiritual energy is your connection to something bigger than yourself, your purpose and alignment with your values. 
If this pot is drained and you feel a loss of meaning in the season, your work or your life, try one of these suggestions to put things back in perspective.
  • Pray
  • Meditate
  • Listen to music
  • Head out into nature
  • Stop at a church on your way home
  • Reach out to someone and connect from the heart


The 5 min holiday self-care strategy for the busy nonprofit leader at Christmas 
Take a look at each area and ask yourself 
  1. Which energy pot is emptiest right now
  2. What can I do to put back into my energy reserves - in less than 5 minutes?
  3. Do that thing!
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Ditch "Christmas Failure Syndrome" --> How to fall in love with Christmas again

9/12/2022

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Find Your Christmas Joy Returning


​Several years ago, I was crying at the beginning of December because it was time to write my Christmas newsletter, and I couldn't find it in me to do it. Try as I might, I couldn't get into it. I was already feeling the Christmas Blues start to wash over me. That just made it 10 times worse.
Have you felt you've been "failing" at Christmas?
​Keep reading to switch that feeling up fast!
Have you felt you've been "failing" at Christmas?
I'd sent out my letter the week after Christmas the year before. I didn't want to do that again. I felt like I was "failing at Christmas." Maybe you've felt you've been failing at Christmas too! 

When I feel that sense of failure or inadequacy hit me, I turn to self-reflection. What the heck is going on Kathy?

This is how I deal with the "ugh" feelingsI did what I always do when I'm struggling and can't find a way out. I journaled about it. Not just once but for several days. After deep soul searching, I finally gave myself permission to stop writing a Christmas letter. What a relief!

Freedom baby!
That decision took a huge weight off of my shoulders! Following that, I made a few other decisions:
  • I eliminated 90% of the baking.
  • I got rid of about 50% of the decorations.
  • I decided to rotate what was left of the decorations, only putting some out at a time so it didn't feel so full and cluttered.
Instead of baking and worrying about a 3 page Christmas letter, I put some of that energy into joining a choir so I could sing to the seniors at Christmas.

It took away my Christmas blues!
Since that first decision and subsequent others, I've found that Christmas feels less heavy, in fact, maybe not heavy at all...perhaps even joyous!

I don't know if you can read between the lines or perhaps are seeing some parallels in your life, but more than finding "the meaning of Christmas," I found my values.

I was wrong about my top value
I used to think family was my top value. It's not.
  • The guilt I felt about my relatives not getting my Christmas letter wasn't motivating me.
  • My husband's urging to bring ALL the decorations up so the family could enjoy them did nothing to remove the overwhelm and dread of all that work.
  • The idea of my son moaning in delight as he nibbled my fudge didn't take away the fear of me not being able to resist it all day long...and seeing the number on the scale steadily increase over December.
Nope, valuing my family was not going to help me find joy at Christmas time.

So what has?

Values are not just words...they have meaning
Let me back up a minute and tell you about values. We often think of values as words. 
  • I value my family. 
  • Honesty is important to me. 
  • I place a high value on security, respect, fun etc. 
The list goes on. But what do those words MEAN to you?

An example of how you might define your values
Let's look at security for a minute:
  • Security may be a job or a paycheque. It might be how much you have in savings.
  • The neighbourhood you choose to live in could reflect your value of security.
  • If your husband has cheated on you, you may feel more secure when you have the password to his cell phone.
  • If your mom fell this year, it could be the security of knowing she's in an assisted living home.

Can you explain what your values mean to you?
  1. You must define what your values means to you. That means understanding how your values show up in your life.
  2. Next, you need to know when you are aligned or not aligned with your values.
  3. Then, you also need to know what will get you back into alignment. 
Because when you are not aligned with your values that you feel crappy.

Back to my story!
My top value:
As I've explored my values over the last few years, I've realized that my top value is not family, as I indicated earlier, although I was sure it was! Instead, my top value is excellence.
  • How I define excellence is living into my full potential each and every day and aiming to reach my potential in life. I strive for excellence as a person, wife, mother, grandmother, community member, coach, teacher, mentor and author.

Here's the thing, when I was trying to "do it all" I was excelling at nothing! 
  • My physical health deteriorated almost as quickly as my mental health.
  • I was short with people because of the pressures I placed on myself.
However, when I cleared the clutter of everything I was doing, I could focus on being my best; as a mom, wife, daughter, and in my work for you and my service to my community. The ugh is gone because I am now aligned with my value of excellence!

What this means for you
As you finish this year off and begin next year, I encourage you to do the work of exploring your values. Not 3 words on a paper, but paragraphs and bullet points and lists. This exploration needs to include feelings and body sensations. When do you know that you are out of alignment with your values and what actions or inactions will bring you back?

When you do this work, you'll spend more of your life living from your values and feeling the inner peace and joy from knowing you honour what is truly important to you!

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This course helps you verify your values
If you want help doing the work of defining your values, try the Values Verification course which is part of my membership site, The Training Library.

​When you join The Training Library, you will get the leadership training you need when you need it.
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Nonprofit leaders, you need to do this now to make next year amazing!

8/12/2022

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​Do you set personal leadership goals for each year? 


The most effective leaders have personal leadership goals that drive them throughout the year. These aren't the organization's goals for you. Instead, they are your goals that drive the type of leader you are becoming. 


You probably aren't thinking about your goals quite yet. Instead, gifts, parties, baking and work deadlines likely have your attention these days. I get it!


👉 However, December is the perfect time to let the last year percolate in your mind. That way, you'll have some things in mind when it is time to sit down and work on your goals for next year.
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We know that typical goals fail
Most of us wait until the end of December or the beginning of January to start thinking about setting goals. The problem with waiting until then is that we often jump into goal setting with whatever is on our minds at the beginning of the new year. And for most of us, overeating and overspending are top of mind.


The most popular New Years' Resolutions are about weight loss and reducing debt. AND…most New Year's resolutions are dropped within a couple of weeks, and goals are forgotten by February. Often that is because we set the same goals half the world does every January.


🎯 However, as a leader who wants to achieve excellence and live a somewhat balanced life, you need goals specifically for you and your situation.


To create more impactful goals that will develop you as a strong leader, you need to be more intentional. 


Lay the Groundwork for Success Next Year
If you want to be more successful with your leadership goals next year, start thinking about laying the foundation for goal setting now. This groundwork will help you identify the goals that will impact you most and how to achieve those goals. 


Start here:
This coming week, start to look back over the past year. Scan events, relationships and experiences for the lessons you've learned.
  • What is it that you've done or not done that has taught you something that you can take forward into the New Year? 


Have Self-Compassion
This review is not a time to judge or beat yourself up. Instead, it is a nonjudgmental observation. So, be curious as you look back.


Examples of lessons you may have learned

🔲 Looking back, you might see that the few times you had time to yourself were when you consciously created it. For example, you booked an afternoon off or got up earlier to journal.
  • The lesson you learned might be that if you want solitude, time or time to yourself, you must create it. 


🔲 When you review the past year, you may notice certain calmer and more relaxed times. However, by digging deeper, you may see that you were doing your yoga regularly in those times.
  • The lesson you learned, perhaps, is that you need to up your game by doing yoga regularly.


🔲 Looking back, you may have noticed times of better productivity and focus. When you get curious about what was going on then, you may see you were sleeping better.
  • The lesson learned is sleep is critical for you and a fundamental thing you need to ensure happens.


Make a note of your discoveries
Choose whatever method works for you as you have some realizations or ah-has. I'm a sticky note kind of gal. I'll jot it down when something comes to me on a sticky note. They'll pile up over several weeks whenever something new comes to mind. Then, when it's time to do my review and set goals, I'll have all of those random but so very important lessons and ah has to go review and use them as information to guide me going into the new year.


You could use a notes app on your phone, a Google doc, or a notebook. The idea is to have something easily accessible to capture realizations on the fly.
❎ You aren't committing to anything.
✅ Instead, you are simply noting insights. 



Keep Curiously Looking Back
Let this idea of 'lesson's learned" simmer in the background for the coming weeks. Write down the lessons you notice as you go back over the past year. They will help you when you start to define your goals next year. 


You may want to complete a deeper review of the past year
Students in my membership site, The Training Library, often schedule time between Christmas and the New Year to complete their Annual Analysis. 


Your Annual Analysis is an in-depth review of the inner growth of your leadership. When you complete your Annual Analysis, you'll:
✅ Discover how effective your growth and development plan has been over the last year
✅ Feel pride as you acknowledge your achievements, inner growth, development and progress
✅ Identify the next steps for your continued path toward excellence.
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How to control your unruly thoughts and be a better nonprofit leader

25/11/2022

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If you want to feel more competent, capable and sure of yourself in your leadership, you need to increase your self-confidence by learning to manage your thoughts.

To bounce back time and time again when the $#!t hits the fan 😩 you need a system that will help you regain your whirling thoughts and, thus, your confidence when you falter. We've been covering that system the last few weeks as you've been learning about pausing, pondering, pivoting and proceeding.

Leaders who can navigate the busy, stressful and difficult times AND come out on top rely on something inside of them. Their inner wisdom 🦉provides strength, insight, and stamina, not just to survive but to thrive.

Successful and confident leaders access that inner wisdom
by consciously tuning in to it. 


The problem is we aren't taught this stuff
Unfortunately, many of us are too busy or have never learned how to tune into our inner wisdom. As new leaders, we learned about scheduling shifts, what forms need filling out and when and how to do cover off. 


We were not taught what to do when we were uncomfortable addressing something going wrong or how to deal with our emotions during a team meeting when everyone seemed to hate us. And many of us assumed it was something wrong with us. We weren't cut out for leadership, were doing something wrong or alternately blamed it on the crappy staff we had.
❌ None of that was probably true, not completely.


We need to learn how to access our inner wisdom
What may be more accurate ✅ is that we have yet to learn how to communicate effectively as a leader, what to do with the voices in our head that doubt we can handle it or what to do with the anger when a comment at a staff meeting triggers us.

To help us learn that, we need a system to allow us to access our inner wisdom. 
☑️ When you are about to enter a tough conversation and want to maintain your composure, your thoughts will help you do that. 
☑️ When you struggle to get your work done and feel pulled in many directions, your inner wisdom will help you focus on what matters most when it matters most.
☑️ So you can convince yourself it's ok to walk away from work and find balance with your life.

If you want to learn a system to help you tune into your inner wisdom, something you can use anytime and anywhere, then keep reading 👇🏻

​It's time to find your internal compass
Leaders that learn to tune in and manage their thoughts and emotions develop courage, strength and skills to leave effectively and impactfully by accessing their inner wisdom or The Inner Guidance System.

Your Inner Guidance System is your internal navigational structure. Think of your Inner Guidance System as your personal GPS or as a compass 🧭
  • Your Inner Guidance System points you in the right direction.


Know Your Leadership Destination
But where are you going? Leadership is about taking people someplace. It is about moving your organization from here to there. That is your vision or destination. The destination could be something like: 
  • better client service
  • building a more cohesive team
  • the offering of a new program or service


Your destination is about who you are becoming
More than organizational goals, your direction is about becoming the type of leader you want to be. 
  • Do you want to be an authentic, compassionate and caring leader? 
  • Do you want to lead with perseverance and determination? 
  • Do you wish to be seen as a leader who pulls out the best in others and helps them grow?
  • Do you want to be known as an honest leader? A fair leader? A hopeful leader?
  • Do you want to be a balanced leader? 
  • Do you want to be an inclusive leader who pulls teams together and shares responsibility and rewards?


The difference when you use your Inner Guidance System
👎🏻 Without tuning in, accessing your inner wisdom and using that internal compass to guide you, sadly, you'll be stuck on completing your to-do list, attending meetings and returning emails instead of being your best self while doing all those things.

👍🏻 But when you tune in and access your inner wisdom, using that internal compass to guide you, you'll be your best self 🙌🏻 when you complete your to-do list, attend meetings and return emails.


Follow the steps of your INNER GUIDANCE CYCLE
To access your Inner Guidance SYSTEM, follow the steps of the Inner Guidance CYCLE. The four steps, when repeated again and again, help you to make use of your internal wisdom. The steps of the INNER GUIDANCE CYCLE are as follows:
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  1. PAUSE - Step back into THIS moment
  2. PONDER - Tune in to what is going on inside of you 
  3. PIVOT - Shift your thoughts
  4. PROCEED - Move forward with intentionality 

When you do the steps repeatedly, they provide insights that you need to move in the direction you want. 

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​​The Inner Guidance Cycle at work:
To begin getting acquainted with your wise inner self, PAUSE and start paying attention to what is happening inside you.

​Consider or PONDER what thoughts and feelings you have about people, challenges or outcomes you experience. 
  • I can't do this. 
  • I am so overwhelmed.
  • This is crazy
  • I'm so angry
  • I feel frustrated
  • I'm embarrassed


You'll also notice that those thoughts and feelings may be accompanied by certain sensations in your body, for example:
  • your face turns red 😳
  • your tummy tightens 😰
  • you get a tension headache 😵‍💫
  • you have sweaty palms or pits 💦


Your thoughts, feelings and sensations are signs of your Inner Guidance System at work. They are clues🕵️ to what is going on and how to regain your composure and become your best self.


Accessing the wisdom inside - An example

By tuning into what's happening, you can shift how your thoughts or perspectives about the situation, how you handle it and how you feel about how you handle it. 


👉 For example, perhaps you have a tough conversation coming up.


When you paused and tuned in (pondered), you may have noticed:
  • I'm feeling anxious
  • My stomach is in knots
  • I know it will not go well


But that isn't the end of The Inner Guidance Cycle
👇🏻
The next step is the PIVOT step.
This step is about shifting your perspective. You shift your perspective by getting curious and asking yourself questions. You may ask yourself questions like:
  • How do I want to feel in this meeting?
  • What type of leader do I want to be?
  • What will help me feel that way and show up that way?


The answers you come up with could be something like:
  • I want to feel confident
  • I want to be seen as being fair. 
  • If I plan out what I want to say, take a break, and go for a little walk before the meeting, I'll feel more in control of my emotions and comfortable sharing the hard message I need to communicate. 


This new insight helps you move forward or PROCEED
  • with more confidence
  • in a way that will feel more authentic and aligned with the type of leader you want to be
  • having the impact you desire on your team member


Accessing your inner wisdom via The Inner Guidance Cycle will help you navigate your to-do list and relationships while you manage your emotions and be your best self. To learn more about each step in The Inner Guidance Cycle, dive deeper with this article.

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When you awaken your inner wisdom, you will build lasting confidence

24/11/2022

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I know you want to lead with confidence. But if you are like most women leading in nonprofits, you often spend more time feeling your confidence fading, doubting you can handle the position, and feeling overwhelmed. That's no way to lead!


 Here is the thing though:
  • You are smarter than you think
  • You do have what it takes.
  • You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for.


The problem is that you don't always believe that. Instead, you:
  • Doubt your abilities
  • Question your competence
  • Hesitate to make decisive decisions


Lacking confidence makes you look outward​
When you don't believe in yourself, you look to others to give you direction, insights, and permission.
  • You ask others what you should do
  • You wait for someone else to take the lead
  • You wonder if others believe you can handle it

In the meantime, you procrastinate, delay and second-guess yourself.

Confidence comes from inner wisdom
You rebuild your confidence and can move forward decisively when you access your inner wisdom. It's when you tune into your wise self, your best self and the part of you that already know you'll feel your confidence soar. It's then that you:
  • Take the chance you need to take.
  • Demonstrate courage and confidence.
  • Lead your team toward your vision confidently.


Connect to your inner wisdom and boost your confidence
Accessing your leadership wisdom requires connecting to your  Inner Guidance System. Your Inner Guidance System is like your internal compass or GPS. To connect to your wise self, PAUSE, PONDER, PIVOT and PROCEED. 

These 4 Ps are the steps in the Inner Guidance Cycle. When you master these steps and do them repeatedly, you'll be accessing your inner wisdom and leading with more confidence. 
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The Inner Guidance Cycle Steps
  1. PAUSE - Step back into THIS moment
  2. PONDER - Tune in to what is going on inside of you 
  3. PIVOT - Shift your thoughts
  4. PROCEED - Move forward with intentionality 

​Help to learn to access your inner wisdom
In Mastering Confidence: Discover Your Leadership Potential by Awakening Your Inner Guidance System, I guide you through the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle. Understanding the four steps and learning to do them regularly will help you to feel and act more confidently.


Find support to master the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle​
First, get Mastering Confidence today. As you read it, you'll be developing your courage and confidence and learning to master leadership. 


Each chapter has an exercise that helps you to look inside to help access your inner wisdom. In addition, you'll find a free course in the book to give you more support through that process and help you complete each of the exercises. 


Get the book. Get the free course. Master your confidence
As you read Mastering Confidence and complete the exercises in the free course, you will find significant shifts in how you feel and lead. That increased confidence and a sense of knowing will show up in:
  • Knowing you do know how.
  • Knowing you can.
  • Knowing it's time!
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​Allow me to guide you on your journey to mastery. Grab Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system today and begin your journey to leadership mastery. 
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    Kathy Archer

    Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.
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    ​In my online courses and coaching I teach them inner and outer tools to restore their lost confidence so they can move from surviving to thriving in both leadership and life.

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