 Do you believe that because you can deal with conflict matter-of-factly without getting emotional, you are good at dealing with conflict?
Or do you believe the goal you're aiming for if you want to be effective at conflict resolution is to do it without getting emotional? You may get through conflict this way, but is your conflict resolution as effective as it could be? Here's what some women leaders do or try to do: Before some women leaders address a tough conversation, they gather evidence, collaborate their story with others, and pull the appropriate policy out. Armed with their documentation and evidence, they present it to the employee. Knowing they need to balance that out with treating the person as a person, they make empathetic statements to the employee about what might have stopped them from doing what they were supposed to do. Let's try it with an example: I want to talk to you about your PPE. I saw you show up with your client yesterday, and you didn't have your mask on. I've heard from others that you have a habit of pulling down your mask to have a drink but forget to pull it back up for long periods. Insert the empathetic statement: I know we are all tired of wearing masks; however, it's mandatory. We reviewed the mask policy at the last meeting. It's required, and I need you to be diligent about wearing it. It seems like a clear-cut conversation, right? No need to get emotional. Read that example again. Did you feel empathy? Or perhaps, did you feel annoyed? The truth I mean, come on, we are working with adults here, not children. How many times do you have to remind them of the basic rules, heck laws? Aren't you tired of reviewing PPE policy? Is this the second, third or 4th time you've reminded someone in the last two weeks? I suspect that empathy is not at the top of your list of what you are feeling! Inserting an empathetic statement is different from feeling empathy. If you don't feel empathy, don't try to fake it So that comes to my next point. If you are angry, annoyed, irritated or ticked off and insert an empathetic statement, you come across as inauthentic. The thing we want most from our leaders is that they are authentic. With that authenticity comes a sense of trust. Part of that means that I can trust them to be honest about what they are feeling. So if you are annoyed with me and pretending to be empathic, I lose a bit of respect for you. But don't try to be unfeeling either Perhaps we take the empathetic statement out. Ummmm...that's not so effective either. Then, you run the risk of coming across as cold and unfeeling. Ugh...your damned if you do and damned if you don't, right? Yes, only because you are trying to be unemotional. You can't take the true emotions out In attempting to remove emotions from the conversation and come across all business-like, you forget that I am a person, and so are you. We have emotions all the time. They never go away unless you try to numb them out, i.e. wine, beer, over-the-counter and prescription medications, recreational drugs med, Netflix binging, social media scrolling, keeping very busy etc. Despite your attempt to numb out your emotions, they are still there. Those bottled-up or stuffed-down emotions will rear their head at some point. Likely it will be at the most inopportune time or with the wrong person! You need to manage the true emotions you feel Turning down emotions or not getting emotional is different than managing emotions. Managing your emotions is also known as emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent leaders are high on the list of those we respect and feel loyal towards. If you're in this sector, it's probably because you care. You care about your clients. You care about the work you're doing. You care about the impact you're having. Turning around then and having a conversation with an employee and trying to stop caring doesn't make sense. What does make sense is to manage how your expression of that emotion comes out. You care, AND You are angry! Sometimes you care so much about your client's safety, your program being respected in the community or what your funder sees that you are angry that your employee is messing things up. The whole point is that you care immensely. And because you care, you feel frustrated, annoyed, angry or irritated. You FEEL You feel emotions in your body Emotions are felt. They are called feelings because you're experiencing something in your body. Consider these examples:
So I ask you to consider for a moment:
When you are honest with what you are feeling, I trust you Because, here's the thing, if you are really expressing empathy, compassion understanding, then you feel it. And when you feel it as a leader and share the words that go with it as your address my performance, I know you feel it. Because of that, I trust you more. I may not like the message, but I trust that you are honest with me. Alternately, consider what frustration, irritation or annoyance feels like in your body. Imagine expressing that emotion in a way that was honest and manageable. Let's try it again, with the same example... I want to talk to you about your PPE. I saw you show up with your client yesterday, and you didn't have your mask on. I've heard from others that you have a habit of pulling down your mask to have a drink but forget to pull it back up for long periods. I need to be honest with you. I'm getting tired of addressing this issue, not with just you, but in general. Forgive me if I come across as a bit resentful. I'd much rather be talking with you about programing for the outreach program. I know you, and I are both passionate about that work. I hope you can see how critical PPE is and find a way to remember to be diligent about it. I want to spend more time focusing on what really matters for our clients! You are honest that you feel angry In this example, if you feel annoyance and resentment in your body, it will come across. THAT'S OK. It's supposed to. It is how you manage your expression of it that is critical. It's not bad, wrong or even ineffective to feel annoyed, frustrated or resentful. The key is HOW you express it. This is how you become emotionally intelligent Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and then manage your emotions, and it's a skill worth learning! How are you developing yours? Resolving the myth The myth that effective conflict resolution requires you to shut your emotions off is just that, a myth. The truth is, effective conflict resolution happens when you express your emotions in a managed manner. It means you convey what you are feeling respectfully and authentically. And, it takes work! Do the inner work! It's worth it! You can find more resources to help grow your emotional intelligence here:
0 Comments
 This week I started a four-week series teaching home visitation supervisors strategies for virtual supervision.
The challenges of virtual supervision We talked about the typical challenges in virtual supervision; distractions, internet capacity, and a lack of tech-savviness. However, one of the biggest challenges identified was the difficulty in connecting to the people they supervise. We can't physically connect to them Without the physical connection and closer proximity to the person, it feels challenging to have strong communication. Yet, that is what we need as leaders. We need to be able to hear them clearly and communicate to them effectively. Here's a strategy I teach I taught them three strategies for virtual supervision. I wanted to share the first one with you today because I think it will be valuable to help you transition from zoom call to zoom call. Strategy # 1 - Connect before you continue There are two components to connect before you continue.
Why you need this strategy As we move from call to call, meeting to meeting and email to email, they tend to blur together. And what happens is thoughts, emotions, and anxiety about things we need to do as a result of that call, email or meeting carry from one meeting to the next. I call this residual leftover! And if you don't consciously let go of that, it will affect your next engagement. Connect before you continue means to connect to yourself more mindfully. We need to be very in-tuned with what's happening It is more challenging to communicate in this virtual world. We have to be more mindful to tune in to nuances. We need to be more present to watch for body language, hear subtleties of voice tones, and pick up on what's happening beneath the words. To do that, you need to let go of what just happened and become present in this moment. You need to connect with yourself before you continue. The tool to use The approach I use for this is to take a few deep breaths. One tool I suggest is box breathing. As you breathe in and out, your finger goes around an imaginary box on your desk.
There are many versions of breath counting. Some like an even square four counts of inhales and exhales. I instead encourage you to have the exhale longer than the inhale. It is the exhale that takes our bodies out of fight-flight-freeze mode, where our sympathetic nervous systems are in overdrive and calms us down, activating our parasympathetic nervous system. Connect before you continue. The outcome: When you connect before you continue into the next meeting, you will find that the virtual conversation will be more effective, and I'm guessing more enjoyable! Do you want training for your organization? If you are interested in team training for your organization, just let me know! I love to connect with groups and grow them so that they can do their mission-driven work with confidence! I'll also share the other two strategies with you. Need more help? Here are some extra resources to help you connect before you continue into that next supervision conversation. From the Surviving to Thriving Podcast
From my YouTube channel 3 tips to rock your virtual leadership conversations From The Training Library If you are a member of The Training Library, here are a couple of webinars you might watch or rewatch! If you want to learn more about The Training Library, you can do that here.
When you do the work to develop yourself, you become more competent, thus confident. And that my dear, is what will move you from surviving to thriving in both your leadership and your life! Let me know in the comments what other challenges you are facing with virtual supervision. You are the one in the trenches. Let me know what it's like so I can support you!  I used to come to the office each morning with a dance in my step and a smile on my face. I often hummed the last song I heard on the radio as I shared a good morning with everyone. My team would, in turn, greet me with their smiles, their energy and, of course, their current challenges!
But let me tell you it was not always like that! I started to fall apart At one point, when the programs expanded quickly and extensively, the stress hit me like a ton of bricks. I was overwhelmed, overworked, and overloaded and falling apart! As that stress built, my mood dipped. I was scrambling to stay on top of things. I was grouchy and fearful I would drop the ball, fall apart or worse, for the world to realize I was not competent in my role. I was tough on my team! As a result, I worked harder. I held my staff to a high standard and came down on them hard for mistakes. I also became more guarded, again, worried someone would see how inept I really was. Gone wear the morning sing songs. As the relationships deteriorated and people started not to like me so much anymore, I resented them. I'd blame them for not helping out, doing their part or causing more trouble. From thriving, I went to barely surviving. Our team culture deteriorated At the same time, the culture of our team deteriorated rapidly. From a group that enjoyed working together, were loyal and committed, we became a team that gossiped, backstabbed and where everybody fended for themselves. A leaders mood affects the team's mood See, here's the thing, when the leader is in survival mode, it affects everyone on the team. Survival mode isn't something you are experiencing alone. It affects everyone on your team, and sadly, in your life! It started with meI was able to take my team culture from toxic back to thriving only when I found my way out of survival mode. It started with me! I had to start building my confidence back I increased my competence in certain areas, built my confidence up and learned to focus on what was truly important in my personal life and at work. Most importantly for my team, I had to work to repair relationships. Relationships are the foundation of team culture Relationships are the foundation of team culture. But if you're stuck in survival mode, the last thing you want to do is talk to people. What you are likely doing is keeping your head down and work on your to-do list, responding to email and attending meetings....without any break, pause or moment to catch your breath. The impacts on your team Far too often, we think no one notices, can't tell how bad it is or isn't affected that much....um..you might be wrong there! In this week's podcast, I talk about five impacts on your team when you're stuck in survival mode. On the next podcast, you'll hear about how to turn that around. Start by seeing where you land To see where you land on The Surviving to Thriving Continuum, grab the download here. Then listen to the podcast and make notes of where this shows up for you and perhaps on your team. If you want to start getting out of survival mode, begin by taking care of yourself. It's the adage about putting on your oxygen mask first. Ready to get out of survival mode? If you are ready to ditch survival mode, you'll need to start by doing the inner work:
You can listen to the first few chapters of Mastering Confidence here. Need more help? If you realize you aren't where you want to be on The Surviving to Thriving Continuum, start taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Wellness during your workday is foundational for you to survive in both leadership and life. And remember, thriving is foundational for you to develop relationships with your team members, which creates a thriving culture! Do the inner work! It's where you need to start to return to thriving in both your leadership and your life!  Do you ever wonder, is this employee relationship salvageable? Good employee... to problem employee There comes a time in our career and leadership where one of our employees starts to take a dip. They may have started as a star employee, but something goes wrong.
At this point, you may wonder if it's just time to cut ties and let them loose. You've tried things like having conversations with the employee, reminding, nagging them, maybe even corrective discipline. And you'd just like to see them gone! What's going on here? The truth is we all have times in our careers where we ebb and flow between loving our work and not wanting to be there.
Is it too late? It's probably not too late. In most cases, it's never too late. But you have to be willing to do some work. And it's not going to be all easy work. It starts with you! One of the biggest things you have to do to turn an employee relationship and engagement around is taking a good, hard look at yourself. Yes, you, not them.
Work through The Inner Guidance Cycle Recognizing where you get triggered is the first step to turn in that relationship around. You realize you've been triggered often when you take time to pause and then ponder. I teach you how to do that inner work in Mastering Confidence. The thing is, they've probably done some things to hurt team members, jeopardize programming, impact clients, or annoy the crap out of you! That triggers you, hence the judgments you have about them. Do the inner work to maintain your composure. If you're going to build that relationship back and create an engaged employee relationship again, it starts with you managing your emotions. Yes, emotional intelligence. It will do you no good to go into that conversation faking compassion and caring when you feel contempt. Look at the employee with a new lens. Next, start to look at their strengths, gifts and talents, particularly what you were most impressed, inspired and interested about when they started.
Then have a conversation with them. Do not include this conversation in any correct of action conversation. Simply a conversation to invite a rekindling of what they loved and probably still do about the work. IMPORTANT: Set the agenda ahead of time so they know exactly what the purpose of the conversation is.
Here's your script: Remind them: This conversation is about you and what you love about the work you do. Let's just stick to that for this conversation. We can talk about those things at another time, and if you'd like, we can schedule that in right now, but for our time today, I just want to talk about you.
Can you feel the difference? Can you imagine if someone had done that for you? Maybe someone did. Perhaps that is why you are in the position you are in now because someone cared enough about you to overlook the flaws, to see the good underneath and shine a light on it. If you want to turn your employee around, try that kind of conversation. To do this, do the inner work necessary! Here's the thing, though, those kinds of impactful, positively emotionally charged, and transformative conversations come when you've done the inner work. When you learn to:
Do the inner work. It's worth it! EXTRA RESOURCES To hear more about reducing nonprofit turnover, listen to To develop your confidence:Do the inner work. When you do, you will rediscover that you do enjoy impactful leadership!  How many of your employees are engaged in the work they do?
I mean, are they actively looking to be involved, doing the work, moving the work forward, and helping the rest of the team do the same? Or are they getting in the way of all of that? The Engagement Research Gallup has been studying engagement for 20+ years. To learn more about their work and how they define engagement, click here. Gallup has discovered that about 85% of employees are disengaged to some degree! That's a big problem! Consider this... Engaged employees:
If you're like most leaders, you want more engaged employees. Engaged employees positively impact productivity, impact and the culture of your organization. Therefore, you probably think that you want to get rid of the disengaged employees fast.
Here's the deal: The reason most employees are disengaged is not them, not the work they do, nor is it the organization. Why most people say they don't like their job is their leader. Gallup found that 70% of the variance in team engagement is determined solely by the manager. They are disengaged because of their manager! People say the reason they don't like their job, don't want to be there and are actively looking for something else is because they
And that's you! Please don't take this personally. But do personally look at the impact you have on the people you lead. Bottom line: Whether you realize it or not, people are engaged or disengaged at work and stay or leave a job primarily because of their next-in-line boss. Disengaged employees are a problem in the nonprofit world Turnover in the nonprofit sector is a huge issue. And while there are many factors, one of the number one issues is that something goes wrong, and suddenly, the relationship between the employee and the boss turns sour. My story I experienced this first hand when I was the boss when my relationship with employees turned sour more than once! I wanted to get rid of them as fast as I could. And it wasn't until my coach encouraged me to take a good hard look at how I was leading, the impact I was having, and the reputation I was building that I had to turn things around. That's when I knuckled down on doing the inner work.
But we did it! And as a result, I learned so much about myself, others, and what it takes to lead with confidence, composure, and integrity intact. How do you create more engagement in your team?
Maryann is currently writing a book for Civil Sector Press on turnover in the nonprofit sector. She's drawing on her experience of being fired three times, working in a bullying environment, as well as countless interviews she's completed with leaders and employees in the sector. In this week's podcast, you'll hear Maryann's story, insights from the upcoming book and more. I'll end with a question: What are you doing to create engagement with your team? Put a comment below so we can all learn from each other!  I'm curious, as a leader, do you ever...
For example, there are only five good employees out there to hire, and you better get them before the other organizations scoop them up! Instead, adopt an abundance mindsetThe opposite of a scarcity mindset is an abundance mindset. Instead of seeing a finite amount of everything, there is an infinite amount. You have plenty of time to finish the project.
Abundance mindset in leadershipWhen you can come at your leadership challenges with an abundance mindset, you start to see what you do have and what might be possible.
Do you feel the difference? An abundance mindset is filled with HOPEHope is an emotion, but it's also a character trait. When you embrace HOPE, you not only (1) believe that tomorrow will be better than today, but you think you have the (2) ability to make that happen. Whatsmore, you know you have (3) multiple pathways to figure it out. That's what a true abundance mindset is. Your mindset is your perspectiveMindset is your lens or the filter through which you see the world. Like we have filters around gender, colour and race through which we see the world, we also have money lenses and mindsets. The way you think about money changes how you engage with your team, funders and donor when you are having money conversations. It can make you feel confident or doubt yourself and your message! Understanding your money mindsetIn this week's episode of the podcast, I talked to Jenny Mitchell about your money archetype. Your archetype is a mindset. When you learn HOW you think about money, it will help you understand how other people think about money. That increased awareness will help you engage in those courageous conversations you may have been reluctant to in the past. Help to shift your mindsetPerhaps you realize that your perspectives have been getting in the way. Maybe you also realize they are so ingrained. It's hard to shake them off. That's where practice comes in. Keep working through The Inner Guidance Cycle to become more mindful of what's going on in your mind.
** Learn more about The Inner Guidance Cycle here It will take timeDon't worry if you slip back to your old way of thinking. That's completely normal. That's why I said you have to practice this. You've probably been thinking with a scarcity mindset for a long time. It won't change overnight. Keep at it! More helpFor more help understanding The Inner Guidance Cycle grab Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system. For more help understanding your money mindset, tune into this week's episode # 47 - How your Money Archetype Affects your Leadership & Fundraising with Jenny Mitchell Final thoughtsYour thoughts can help you ditch survival mode and thrive in both leadership and life. Do the work to become more mindful of your thoughts, and you'll begin to enjoy impactful leadership!  I’m curious, as a leader, do you ever…
This kind of thinking could be a sign of a scarcity mindset. The scarcity mindset focuses on what isn’t there. It’s about lack. When you see things through the lens of scarcity, you see a finite amount of money, time and resources. For example, there are only five good employees out there to hire, and you better get them before the other organizations scoop them up! Instead, adopt an abundance mindset The opposite of a scarcity mindset is an abundance mindset. Instead of seeing a finite amount of everything, there is an infinite amount. You have plenty of time to finish the project.
Abundance mindset in leadership When you can come at your leadership challenges with an abundance mindset, you start to see what you do have and what might be possible.
An abundance mindset is filled with HOPE Hope is an emotion, but it’s also a character trait. When you embrace HOPE, you not only (1) believe that tomorrow will be better than today, but you think you have the (2) ability to make that happen. Whatsmore, you know you have (3) multiple pathways to figure it out. That’s what a true abundance mindset is. Your mindset is your perspective Mindset is your lens or the filter through which you see the world. Like we have filters around gender, colour and race through which we see the world, we also have money lenses and mindsets. The way you think about money changes how you engage with your team, funders and donor when you are having money conversations. It can make you feel confident or doubt yourself and your message! Understanding your money mindset In this week’s episode of the podcast, I talked to Jenny Mitchell about your money archetype. Your archetype is a mindset. When you learn HOW you think about money, it will help you understand how other people think about money. That increased awareness will help you engage in those courageous conversations you may have been reluctant to in the past. Help to shift your mindset Perhaps you realize that your perspectives have been getting in the way. Maybe you also realize they are so ingrained. It’s hard to shake them off. That’s where practice comes in. Keep working through The Inner Guidance Cycle to become more mindful of what’s going on in your mind.
It will take time Don’t worry if you slip back to your old way of thinking. That’s completely normal. That’s why I said you have to practice this. You’ve probably been thinking with a scarcity mindset for a long time. It won’t change overnight. Keep at it! More help For more help understanding The Inner Guidance Cycle grab Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system. For more help understanding your money mindset, tune into this week’s episode # 47 — How your Money Archetype Affects your Leadership & Fundraising with Jenny Mitchell Final thoughts
Your thoughts can help you ditch survival mode and thrive in both leadership and life. Do the work to become more mindful of your thoughts, and you’ll begin to enjoy impactful leadership!  Emma has someone on her team who is perpetually late with her paperwork. It doesn’t matter how often Emma talks to this person; it never seems to change. When I was coaching Emma, I reminded her that she could keep having supervision discussions with this team member addressing the late paperwork. That approach will likely cause friction.
The challenge is that in Emma’s mind, there is a right way to do things — handing things in on time. As a result, Emma also believes that this employee is doing things the wrong way — submitting items late. Right/Wrong Thinking This kind of thinking leaves the employee only able to defend themselves, making excuses about why they’re not measuring up and offering promises they’ll never keep. So the cycle continues. It’s often called polarized thinking. We see things one way, all or nothing, black or white, but no grey. Emma’s learning new ways of leading But what if Emma was able to get off her side (I’m right) and invite her employee to leave their side as well (You’re wrong) and meet on common ground? I asked Emma to think about how they could explore things differently. Rather than discussing what’s wrong or right, she could get curious. Here’s what Emma came up with: Old way: Your paperwork continues to be late, and that’s a problem. What plan can we make to get your paperwork in on time?
Here’s the thing, one can assume the employee wants to do their best work. When we start with that assumption that they mean no harm, instead of convincing them they’re doing things wrong, it changes the conversation’s tone. Here are some other variations of polarized thining I hear polarized thoughts when it becomes me versus you or us versus them. For example:
What leaders, teams and boards think in a polarized way:
***** Find the middle ground. Engaged teams find ways to move forward together. They are open to innovative ideas, curiosity, a willingness to ask questions, and a deep desire to understand each other. But you can’t get there when you can’t get off your side, and they will not get off their side. Three ways to overcome polarized thinking To overcome polarized thinking, use The Inner Guidance Cycle I teach in Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system 1) PAUSE Create space so you can think. 2) PONDER Ask yourself: What are the “sides” here?
Ask yourself: How do these views (my side their side) connect to each of our values and the organization’s values?
Courageously re-engage in the conversation with a more open viewpoint and a willingness to find common ground. More Help If you are looking for more help, and are a member of The Training Library, make sure you go through the TIPS plans I teach you in the Webinar: How to prepare for a tough talk. You may also find that reviewing your values from the Values Verification course may support your identification of sides.  Once, I had two staff members who hated each other. You might think that's harsh, but at the time, they couldn't even stand to be in the same room with each other!
I had a TOXIC workplace culture on my hands!But that wasn't the worst of it. It wasn't how they felt about each other. The worst of it was that the conflict between the two team members created a toxic work environment. The rest of the team felt forced to take sides. They avoided dealing with issues that needed addressing because there was just too much tension in the office. The rest of the team also felt the ongoing tension, causing them not to want to work. How did I deal with the TOXIC workplace culture?If you've ever been in that situation, you probably want to know how to deal with it. So did I! Through working with my coach and training that I took, I first learned what not to do! 3 things NOT to do with workplace conflict
All kidding aside, here is what I did learn about how to deal with conflict from my coach, the training I've taken and over the years with countless clients I've coached through conflict situations. 3 ways TO deal with conflict on your team 1) Take responsibility for your role in it Even if you are not directly involved in the conflict, you definitely have a role in it as a leader. That role isn't to deal with the conflict head-on, smooth it over, or tell those two people to smarten up! Your role is, however, to lead the team through the conflict.
2) Offer conflict resources Most of us have never learned effective conflict resolution strategies, so we honestly don't know how to deal with it. As a leader who wants to create an organizational culture that is comfortable working with and resolving conflict, you'll need to teach the team how to do that. You don't have to teach it
3) Ask what support or help they need from you If you have team members learning a new way of addressing conflict with a peer, they may need help practicing new skills. Practice with your team members
What if that doesn't work? Sometimes, working through the above 3 points is not enough. When conflict continues, it can strengthen and causes the workplace culture to deteriorate. It's then that it's time to reach out for help. In this week's episode of the podcast, I talk to HR expert Stacey Messner, and she walks us through went to reach for help and the kind of services you might get to help your nonprofit successfully deal with conflict in your team. EXTRA RESOURCES To hear Stacey's advice, tune in here: Surviving to Thriving Podcast Episode # 46 - When is it time to get help to address conflict on your nonprofit team? with HR Expert Stacey Messner For help getting through that first tough talk with confidence, read these articles:
Members of The Training Library will find additional resources here:
You don't have to know all the answers. Your job as a leader is to create the space for your team to figure it out. To do that, you start with the courage to be vulnerable. The bottom line is... that elephant won't go away no matter how long you try to avoid it! Your job as a leader is to acknowledge the conflict, plan for dealing with it and support conflict resolution on your team!  As I walked into my office, my administrative support, Wendy, asked me a question. I turned and glared at her. Then, as I turned back and kept on walking, I answered Wendy through my teeth! I certainly didn't have the patience for her BS right now.
Timeout! But....why didn't I have the patience for Wendy at this moment? Was it because she had done something wrong? ** Possibly, but the way I handled it was all on me. Being Bitchy Ok, let me start by saying I do not like that word at all! If you can give me another word that we all know and understand to describe what I mean, please message me and tell me a better word. It's not merely being rude or being cranky it's more than that. And we've all been there. Staff challenges I've had my fair share of staff challenges, and I bet you have too. We have staff that don't get along, stir the pot on the team, mess up with clients, neglect their paperwork, or in general, are somewhat incompetent at their job. And we need to address those issues. How are you addressing the issues?
Instead, you probably want them to say something like, "That was a tough conversation, but I feel like she's supporting me and wants to help me out." What gets in the way? We are women leaders. There is a lot that can get in the way that has nothing to do with the work, the person we are dealing with, the sector or the issue at hand. ▶︎ It might, however, have to do with that time of the month. ▶︎ It might have to do with that time in our life cycle. ▶︎ It could also be that our hormones are off due to our diabetes or thyroid issues. ▶︎It might result from a lack of sleep because our toddler kept us up, we fought with our partner or dealt with night sweats half the night. Hormones, emotions, burnout How you respond to a challenge with your employee is less about the words you use and more about how you deliver that message. Hormones, emotions and burnout all factor in. They are all things you need to be aware of, manage and, yes, at times, workaround. 3 strategies to help you manage your reputation 1) Be mindful of your body, mind and soul
2) Be in control of your schedule so you can adjust when needed based on mood and energy levels.
3) Be honest
We respect vulnerable leaders Most of our nonprofits are full of women, all of whom are likely going through similar emotional, hormonal and energy roller coasters. When you acknowledge where you are at, it makes you seem more human and permits others to do the same. Humour is useful in these kinds of situations if that's a strength of yours, but so is self-compassion, kindness, honesty and bravery. Extra Resources For those of you in The Training Library, here are some resources you might want to check out to help you ditch the bitchiness and lead with confidence!
You are human! Don't forget that Remember, it's not what you do as a leader that counts. It's how you do it. And you are a human being. You have emotions, hormones and a life outside of work that factor into how you lead. Don't forget to take that into account. When you do, you'll ditch survival mode and learn to thrive in both your leadership and your life! |
Available on Amazon
Kathy ArcherWomen leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead. Archives
April 2021
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
Listen to the Podcast
For you: |
My Core Beliefs!I believe every woman should have the opportunity to go to work at a place where she:
My ServicesSearch the Website |
Read Mastering Confidence
|