Ditch "Christmas Failure Syndrome" --> How to fall in love with Christmas again

Find Your Christmas Joy Returning

Several years ago, I was crying at the beginning of December because it was time to write my Christmas newsletter, and I couldn't find it in me to do it. Try as I might, I couldn't get into it. I was already feeling the Christmas Blues start to wash over me. That just made it ten times worse.
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Have you felt you've been "failing" at Christmas?

I'd sent out my letter the week after Christmas the year before. I didn't want to do that again. I felt like I was "failing at Christmas." Maybe you've felt you've been failing at Christmas too! 

When I feel that sense of failure or inadequacy hit me, I turn to self-reflection. What the heck is going on Kathy?

This is how I deal with the "ugh" feelingsI did what I always do when I'm struggling and can't find a way out. I journaled about it. Not just once but for several days. After deep soul searching, I finally gave myself permission to stop writing a Christmas letter. What a relief!
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I found freedom baby!

That decision took a huge weight off of my shoulders! Following that, I made a few other decisions:

• I eliminated 90% of the baking.
• I got rid of about 50% of the decorations.
• I decided to rotate what was left of the decorations, only putting some out at a time so it didn't feel so full and cluttered.

Instead of baking and worrying about a 3 page Christmas letter, I put some of that energy into joining a choir so I could sing to the seniors at Christmas.
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Decluttering my Christmas took away my Christmas blues!

Since that first decision and subsequent others, I've found that Christmas feels less heavy, in fact, maybe not heavy at all...perhaps even joyous!

I don't know if you can read between the lines or perhaps are seeing some parallels in your life, but more than finding "the meaning of Christmas," I found my values.
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I realized I was wrong about my top value

I used to think family was my top value. It's not.

• The guilt I felt about my relatives not getting my Christmas letter wasn't motivating me.
• My husband's urging to bring ALL the decorations up so the family could enjoy them did nothing to remove the overwhelm and dread of all that work.
• The idea of my son moaning in delight as he nibbled my fudge didn't take away the fear of me not being able to resist it all day long...and seeing the number on the scale steadily increase over December.

Nope, valuing my family was not going to help me find joy at Christmas time.

So what has?
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Values are not just words. They have meaning

Let me back up a minute and tell you about values. We often think of values as words. 

• I value my family. 
• Honesty is important to me. 
• I place a high value on security, respect, fun etc. 

The list goes on. But what do those words MEAN to you?
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An example of how you might define your values

Let's look at security for a minute:

• Security may be a job or a paycheque. It might be how much you have in savings.
• The neighbourhood you choose to live in could reflect your value of security.
• If your husband has cheated on you, you may feel more secure when you have the password to his cell phone.
• If your mom fell this year, it could be the security of knowing she's in an assisted living home.

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Can you explain what your values mean to you?

1. ​​You must define what your values means to you. That means understanding how your values show up in your life.
2. Next, you need to know when you are aligned or not aligned with your values.
3. Then, you also need to know what will get you back into alignment. 

Because when you are not aligned with your values that you feel crappy.
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Back to my story of understanding my values so I could enjoy Christmas

My top value:
As I've explored my values over the last few years, I've realized that my top value is not family, as I indicated earlier, although I was sure it was! Instead, my top value is excellence.

• How I define excellence is living into my full potential each and every day and aiming to reach my potential in life. I strive for excellence as a person, wife, mother, grandmother, community member, coach, teacher, mentor and author.

Here's the thing, when I was trying to "do it all" I was excelling at nothing! 

• My physical health deteriorated almost as quickly as my mental health.
• I was short with people because of the pressures I placed on myself.

However, when I cleared the clutter of everything I was doing, I could focus on being my best; as a mom, wife, daughter, and in my work for you and my service to my community. The ugh is gone because I am now aligned with my value of excellence!
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How you can use this to help you rekindle your love of Christmas

As you finish this year off and begin next year, I encourage you to do the work of exploring your values. Not 3 words on a paper, but paragraphs and bullet points and lists. This exploration needs to include feelings and body sensations. When do you know that you are out of alignment with your values and what actions or inactions will bring you back?

When you do this work, you'll spend more of your life living from your values and feeling the inner peace and joy from knowing you honour what is truly important to you!

A course to help deepen your understanding of your values at work and in life

Verifying your values is foundational work for leadership and more importantly, to lead yourself first.


If you want help doing the work of defining your values, try the Values Verification course which is part of my membership site, The Training Library.

​When you join The Training Library, you will get the leadership training you need when you need it.

Learn more about the Values course