How and why you MUST lead with your strength of character

Do you often wonder what you must DO to be a better leader?

• What training do you need to take?
• What meetings should you attend?
• How often should you meet with your people?

These questions revolve around what actions you need to DO?

While those are important components of leadership, the critical question is deeper than that. It's not what you have to DO to be a good leader; the question is: Who do you need to BE to be a good leader?
 
Be?
Yes, BE!
Who do you need to BE to be a good leader?



Consider the HOW of what you DO

Take a moment to consider who are you BEING when you do your job?

• Anyone can run a meeting. But HOW do you run a meeting?

 

• Executive Directors, Managers and Team Leaders always communicate with their team. But HOW do you communicate with your team?

 

• What type of leader are you BEING when you address an employee's poor performance or share positive outcomes with the team?

 

• Who are you BEING when the crisis hits?

Have you ever considered your character?
Who you are BEING when you do your job is a description of your character. It's the essence of who you are. But we don't talk about it.

🤔 When did your manager last talk with you about developing your character? 

🤷🏼‍♀️ When did you last consider why it might be important to develop your character? 

🤨 Have you ever wondered how to build your character? 

For most of us, the answer is never! It may be time to consider it. 


How you are BEING is a description of your character
Your character is your unique combination of who you are:

• personality traits
• values
• ethics
• morals

No two of us are the same. The problem is that we typically don't think about who we are BEING or our character as we lead our team. Instead, we follow the model of leadership passed down for generations. And honestly, most of us don't fit into that model. ​

Feeling like the imposter?
When we don't feel like ourselves while leading, we assume that's how it should be or that perhaps we aren't leading correctly. But when we are out of touch with our true selves, we feel awkward, fake, or like we are messing up. There is this enormous gap between who we believe we should be and who we actually are. That leaves us unsure of where to turn and not really satisfied.


When you develop your character, you'll be happier!
You will feel better, more fulfilled, and positively influence those around you if you take the time to cultivate your character. Instead of stepping into the role and trying to lead how you should lead when you develop your character, you will learn to lead from your character strengths. 

🎭 Rather than feeling like you're putting on a persona or mask for each encounter and interaction, you will feel more authentic and more productive and impactful.


Why don't we lead with our character strengths?
Most of us are genuinely unaware of our true selves. We've lost sight of our true selves as we transitioned through our teen years, started families, and advanced in our careers. Many of us don't know what makes us tick because, quite frankly, we don't know what our best gifts and talents are. And we have no idea how to use them to lead. We've never tried to find, unearth, or awaken them.
 
🤨 Who are you?


Back to describing character 
Once again, consider how we describe other people and how others might describe you.
Pay attention to the word character in each of these sentences👇🏻

🟪 Often, we talk about someone's character in GENERAL statements such as, 

• I admire her character.
• We might say someone has sound character.
• In a tongue-in-cheek tone, we might chuckle, saying, Boy, she's quite the character!
• At other times, we might whisper to a friend, suggesting That was out of character for her.
• Alternately, we groan as we watch someone do something and say She just damaged her character by doing that! ​

🟪 Now, think about SPECIFIC POSITIVE descriptions of other people's character traits. Consider again how people might describe your traits. These are some ways we speak in awe of certain women's characteristics:

• She is so reliable.
• I love her honesty.
• What grace she has!
• That is a woman of integrity.
• Such determination and persistence.
• I appreciate her ability to be decisive.
• She has a clear head on her shoulders.

 
🟪 Don't forget that not all character traits are good. Here are some SPECIFIC NEGATIVE traits
Reflect on this list below. These are times we cringe at character traits that some women exude:

• She's so cold.
• I can't trust her. 
• She's so inconsistent.
• She's got her favourites!
• She only cares about herself.
• She's condescending and demeaning.
• I'm tired of her micromanaging everything I do.

 
I hope you are now seeing how important it is to cultivate and develop your character.


How your character is defined:
A little overview: Your character is your unique combination of traits distinguishing you from others. It is how others perceive you, not how you describe yourself. Let me say that again. Your character is someone else's perspective of you. It's not how you see yourself and wish others would see you. You certainly can impact or influence what others think about you, and you should. Ultimately, how people describe your character is their perception, which makes character development tricky.
 
Perhaps you wonder if character development is about getting people to like you. 🙅🏼‍♀️ No, that's not quite it.

Your job as a leader is to guide people to a vision 👀
by inspiring them to grow 🌱
and helping them develop 🧩
so that together, you can reach your shared vision 🙌🏻

Your influence and impact on people can motivate them to be their best selves, which is incredibly helpful to reach team and organizational goals and serve clients. Achieving that level of impact on others may be easier if they like you. But still, it's less about people liking you and more about them respecting you.


Why you should care about how people define your character 
⭐️Your character is so important because it influences what people think about you and, therefore, its impact on them. 

When your character is strong, you have a good reputation. It's that reputation that garners others' respect. Someone doesn't have to like you to respect you. The two do not always go hand in hand.

However, when people on your team respect you, it allows them to be patient with you, persist for you, and push themselves. They'll often respect you because they believe in you, your message, and how you live that purpose, which is inextricably linked with your character. As such, they will conduct themselves in a certain way because you've inspired them, and they are motivated by your actions, your conduct and the type of person you are.


💡 How to lead with strong character

1️⃣ The first step
Start by noticing character, yours and others.
Keep a log, note on your phone or journal entry about character words you'd use to describe your or another's character.
​
2️⃣ The next step
Then, choose your character traits.
Pick words that you'd like others to use to describe you. What is the type of leader you want to BE?

3️⃣ Finally
Finally, cultivate your character
Do the work to grow and develop those character traits in yourself.
Next week, I'll introduce you to the strategies for developing your desired character traits and how to become the leader you want to be, having the impact you desire to have.

Learn to Develop Your Character

If you want to learn more about developing your character and you are a member of The Training Library, check out the WEBINAR: Develop Your Strength of Character.

• Character development takes time and is truly done through self-reflection and practice! The Training Library gives you the tools to do that ongoing self-reflection and practice with your team. Start today learning to be the best leader you can be and one who enjoys the rest of your life. Both are possible! 😉