How to manage your emotion and energy when leading your nonprofit

As I walked into my office, my administrative support, Wendy, asked me a question. I turned and glared at her. Then, as I turned back and kept on walking, I answered Wendy through my teeth! I certainly didn't have the patience for her BS right now. 

Timeout!
But....why didn't I have the patience for Wendy at this moment? 
Was it because she had done something wrong?

** Possibly, but the way I handled it was all on me.

Being Bitchy
Ok, let me start by saying I do not like that word at all! If you can give me another word that we all know and understand to describe what I mean, please message me and tell me a better word. It's not merely being rude or being cranky it's more than that. And we've all been there.


Staff challenges
I've had my fair share of staff challenges, and I bet you have too. We have staff that don't get along, stir the pot on the team, mess up with clients, neglect their paperwork, or in general, are somewhat incompetent at their job. And we need to address those issues.


How are you addressing the issues?

• Confidently?
• Respectfully?
• With your integrity intact?

The way you handle situations comes back to your character and your reputation. What do you want people to say about you and about the way you dealt with the situation? My guess is you don't want them to leave the interaction, head to her co-worker and say, "Holy smokes, is she ever bitchy today!"

Instead, you probably want them to say something like, "That was a tough conversation, but I feel like she's supporting me and wants to help me out."

What gets in the way?
We are women leaders. There is a lot that can get in the way that has nothing to do with the work, the person we are dealing with, the sector or the issue at hand.

▶︎ It might, however, have to do with that time of the month.
▶︎ It might have to do with that time in our life cycle.

▶︎ It could also be that our hormones are off due to our diabetes or thyroid issues.

▶︎It might result from a lack of sleep because our toddler kept us up, we fought with our partner or dealt with night sweats half the night.

Hormones, emotions, burnout
How you respond to a challenge with your employee is less about the words you use and more about how you deliver that message. Hormones, emotions and burnout all factor in. They are all things you need to be aware of, manage and, yes, at times, workaround. 


3 strategies to help you manage your reputation

1) Be mindful of your body, mind and soul

• Tune in to your body to see what's really going on.
• Practice mindfulness

2) Be in control of your schedule so you can adjust when needed based on mood and energy levels.

• Work at home some days. 
• Take a break to move your body, have a healthy snack or give yourself a few moments of much-needed solitude
• Move a talk to the afternoon if you need time to settle your emotions from the night before.

3) Be honest

• Communicate somethings off
• Role model vulnerability

We respect vulnerable leaders
Most of our nonprofits are full of women, all of whom are likely going through similar emotional, hormonal and energy roller coasters. When you acknowledge where you are at, it makes you seem more human and permits others to do the same. Humour is useful in these kinds of situations if that's a strength of yours, but so is self-compassion, kindness, honesty and bravery. 


Extra Resources 
For those of you in The Training Library, here are some resources you might want to check out to help you ditch the bitchiness and lead with confidence!

• WEBINAR: Gossiping, Hormones and Backstabbing: Leading in Predominantly Female Teams
• WEBINAR: Develop Your Strength of Character
• WEBINAR: Managing Your Emotions at Work
• WEBINAR: Staying Composed During Meetings, Conversations & Challenging Times
• WEBINAR: Breath Magic - Breathe your way to being a calm, composed and in control leader!
• WEBINAR: How to deal with OFFICE POLITICS with calm confidence
• WEBINAR: Managing stress on the fly!
• WEBINAR: The 5-Minute Self-Care Strategy for the Swamped Gal
• WEBINAR: Thriving Through COVID-19 - Mini Training
• COURSE: Wellness AT Work

You are human! Don't forget that
Remember, it's not what you do as a leader that counts. It's how you do it. And you are a human being. You have emotions, hormones and a life outside of work that factor into how you lead. Don't forget to take that into account. When you do, you'll ditch survival mode and learn to thrive in both your leadership and your life!