KATHY ARCHER
  • Home
  • Membership
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Coaching
  • Confidence Book
  • About
  • Contact Me
  • Free Worksheets

#leadwithyourheart and see what happens 

12/4/2016

2 Comments

 
​Sitting at my desk, I was livid!
Now, looking back I couldn’t tell you what had made me so angry, but I remember that I probably could have spit nails at the time. A particular staff had once again done something that pushed me so hard that:
  • I wanted to throttle her and 
  • I had the urge to run and never come back. 
Yet, I had to start the weekly staff meeting in 5 minutes. 
Picture
​I tried to mask what I was feeling
What did I do? 
I pushed down the anger as far as I could. I went upstairs with a pasted smile on my face and sat at the head of the table with my group of staff. I then pretended to be polite while I was seething inside as worked my way through the items on the agenda. It was a pretty tense meeting if my memory serves me correctly!

I was focused on making her look bad
Passion and compassion at that moment never came to my mind. Well, violent, angry passion perhaps, but not a passion for my work. At that moment, I had very little desire to connect to the core values of what we were doing or, to the clients we were serving. In fact, my mind was racing with ideas of ways to get back at the staff that had hurt me so much. I was trying to figure out how to make her look bad, instead of me
Picture
​I wish I could go back in time and try this instead
If I had instead chosen to follow my #leadwithyourheart mantra that I now regularly use to guide me, I suspect things would have been different. 

I might have authentically started the meeting with “Something happened this morning that has thrown me off my game. I’d like to do something that reconnects not only me but all of us to why we do this work.”
​Here's another way 
Or ... I may have sat for two minutes in silent reflection before heading up to the meeting and accessed compassion. But I would have not only found compassion for the person who had made me so angry but also for myself and the situation that I found myself in. That doesn’t mean I would have said “oh poor me” or “oh poor her”. Compassion is about sympathy for another’s misfortunes, but it is also quickly followed by a desire to alleviate their suffering (or my own). 

Finding alignment works better
By accessing compassion for a moment, I perhaps would have found where the other person and I aligned. We may both be fighting for the same side: our client. We both may have been feeling concerned about our own work-life balance. We may have had seemingly opposing views yet strikingly similar ones when I stood back and looked at them. A colleague of mine often said we are “violently agreeing”. That may have been the case here too. 

Connecting to core purpose and values feels better
By doing this, being compassionate and having the desire to alleviate both of our sufferings, I perhaps would have found a different way of approaching things. Rather, I spend my energy trying to figure out how to get back at her. 

Click to Tweet ----->
Tweet: #leadwithyourheart and find powerful results. Find out more here from @kathydarcher

Lead with your heart
#leadwithyourheart means that you connect to what is important to you. It is about realigning with your core purpose and values. #leadwithyourheart allows you to slow down and access your intuition and inner guidance. It also pulls out others passions and purpose so that together you align and move forward.

#leadwithyourheart is connected to my other mantra #leadyourway_. I am a compassionate person. By trying to stifle that, I didn't come across as authentic!

Tweaking an Eleanor Roosevelt quote
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” I might suggest, Eleanor tweak what she said to remind us we need to lead both ourselves and others by accessing our heart more often.

Picture
Kathy is a leadership coach for women who want to strengthen their leadership and find balance in life. She mentors females as they rediscover their purpose, passion and persistence for life while dealing with office politics, jerk bosses and the challenges of family life. In her signature program Women with Grit: Leading with Courage & Confidence, Kathy gives her ladies the hope and inspiration they need along with a kick in the pants to make positive change in their lives
Picture
2 Comments
susan
14/4/2016 07:54:19 pm

oooh that sounds good but sometimes hard to do. It is a practice thing although one we would rather not have to practice. I find it agreeable that sometimes one must need to have compassion for oneself after another has aggravated. Sometimes the why is hard to ask and the answer is even more challenging to meet.

Reply
Kathy link
15/4/2016 08:34:06 am

I agree Susan - It's hard. It's hard in that we are so programmed to do it the other way. So shifting out of the norm is weird and awkward! Thanks for sharing!

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Join the membership

    Picture

    Listen to the podcasts

    Picture

    Read the book

    Books for Nonprofit leaders
    Available on Amazon


    Kathy Archer

    Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.
    ​
    ​In my online courses and coaching I teach them inner and outer tools to restore their lost confidence so they can move from surviving to thriving in both leadership and life.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

    Categories

    All
    Conflict Resolution
    Courage & Confidence
    Emotional Intelligence
    Employee Development
    Goal Setting
    Health And Wellness
    Leadership
    Mastery
    Mindfulness At Work
    Personal Growth & Development
    Priority Management
    Productivity
    Project Management
    Shifting Perspectives
    Shifting PerspectivesShifting Perspectives
    Supervision

    RSS Feed

Picture

For you:

About Me
​
Join The Training Library membership
Get Coaching
​
Join the Confident Women Leaders Free Community
Free Resources
​Privacy Policy
The Training Library 
Imagine getting the training  you need, when you need it most. Find that in the membership

Join the Membership

Picture

Search the Website


Resources

Mastering Confidence: 
Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system 
Picture
Surviving to Thriving Podcast: Strategies, systems and support to lead with confidence
Picture
  • Home
  • Membership
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Coaching
  • Confidence Book
  • About
  • Contact Me
  • Free Worksheets