KATHY ARCHER
  • Home
  • Membership
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Coaching
  • Confidence Book
  • About
  • Contact Me
  • Free Worksheets

Put your feet up on your desk - Be a better Leader

26/4/2016

0 Comments

 
Reflecting. Pondering, Considering. Thinking.
​Do you schedule time for reflection into your day timer? I beg you; please start to do that now!
Picture
​​Time to think is rare for the average leader
Leaders rarely find time to think clearly. The most impactful leaders, however, know reflection time is crucial. Rarely have time to consider options or mull over what just happened leaves you simply chasing fires. On the other hand, giving yourself time to think allows you to move from randomly reacting to everything to being more responsive.

Self-reflection can be random
Have you ever had your mind wanders and you were are amazed to see brilliant ideas you stumbled upon? That is the act of random reflection. You’ll notice you do this when you are in the shower, cooking or driving. Some of the best ideas come during these accidental thinking times. To take reflection to the next notch, you need to set intentionally aside time for focused self-reflection. This means you create a habit of scheduling in "thinking time." 
​Make time to think
Most of us rarely spend much time in intentional self-reflection. While we know it might be beneficial, we don’t believe we have time. I am here to tell you that you need to place it a priority and make it a mandatory daily activity, regardless of what everyone else thinks you should be doing. 

Do self-reflection intentionally
This focused time might be a chance to reflect on a particular event, a conversation or a challenging situation you are currently trying to sort out. It might be planning time, reconnecting to your vision or your values. This time, might also be your opportunity to widen the gap between what just happened and how you reacted. In being more intentional during self-reflection, you can give your mind time to work its way around whatever you need to sort out. In this way, you are increasing your emotional intelligence.
Picture
​What to do in your scheduled reflection time
  • Sit quietly, meditate or daydream.
  • Do something physical. Go for a walk, a run or swim. During this time, have a particular challenge you are working through in the back of your mind.
  • Journal 
    • Write out your words, plans and thoughts. It’s like role-playing on paper what you are going to say. It could be a pro/con list. 
An example
Here’s an example of how I used self-reflection to sort out my dilemma. I was at a meeting the other day, and someone said something offensive to another member of the team. The comment was intended as a joke. However, it was grossly inappropriate. As one of the leaders in this group, I felt it was my responsibility to address it.

My not so great attempt at handling it 
I jokingly scolded her after the meeting. Although I tried to be funny, I meant what I was saying. Rather than owning my message, I hoped to make it easy for her, but honestly, I was using humor to make it easy to me!  It didn’t work. As she left the meeting, my guess is she felt like I had just scolded her. Rather than inspired to change her behavior, I bet she felt defensive.

My random self-reflection
On my drive home, I contemplated what had just happened.  I knew I had not got the effect I had desired. I realized, my ineffectiveness in getting my point across was in part because I didn’t even consider the impact I wanted before I let words fly out of my mouth.

My first lesson from self-reflection:
  • Plan what I want to say before saying it.
  • Act rather than react.
Second lesson from self-reflection
  • Decide what impact I want.

As I reflected, I realized what had compelled me to speak up in the first place. I wanted this person to have compassion for the individual they made the joke about. That was about as far as I got on my way home. The next morning, however, I took few minutes to include this challenge in my journaling.  In doing so, I came up with the language I would want to use for this kind of incident in the future. It didn't change anything, but gave me the ability to be more responsive rather than reactive in the future

Third lesson from self-reflection
  • I had language to use in future situations

Self-reflection makes me a better leader
Had I not taken the time to reflect, to ponder and to plan, I would likely be in the same situation again within a few weeks. I would still find that I am still not sure how to deal with it. Therefore, I would once again be just reacting and letting words fall out of my mouth.  Pondering widened the gap giving me increased emotional intelligence. The reflection gave me words to use in upcoming situations not only with this individual, but in many potential similar situations in the future. 
​Let self-reflection grow your leadership
Self-reflection allows us to be in alignment with our purpose and values. It can have us become more intentional in getting the impact we desire and going in the direction we want to go. We have to, however, make the time to do it. Add self-reflection to the top of your To Do list today!
QUESTION:
What lessons have you learned when you've taken "time to think"? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Picture
Kathy is a leadership coach for women who want to strengthen their leadership and find balance in life. She mentors females as they rediscover their purpose, passion and persistence for life while dealing with office politics, jerk bosses and the challenges of family life. In her signature program Women with Grit: Leading with Courage & Confidence, Kathy gives her ladies the hope and inspiration they need along with a kick in the pants to make positive change in their lives
Picture
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Join the membership

    Picture

    Listen to the podcasts

    Picture

    Read the book

    Books for Nonprofit leaders
    Available on Amazon


    Kathy Archer

    Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.
    ​
    ​In my online courses and coaching I teach them inner and outer tools to restore their lost confidence so they can move from surviving to thriving in both leadership and life.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

    Categories

    All
    Conflict Resolution
    Courage & Confidence
    Emotional Intelligence
    Employee Development
    Goal Setting
    Health And Wellness
    Leadership
    Mastery
    Mindfulness At Work
    Personal Growth & Development
    Priority Management
    Productivity
    Project Management
    Shifting Perspectives
    Shifting PerspectivesShifting Perspectives
    Supervision

    RSS Feed

Picture

For you:

About Me
​
Join The Training Library membership
Get Coaching
​
Join the Confident Women Leaders Free Community
Free Resources
​Privacy Policy
The Training Library 
Imagine getting the training  you need, when you need it most. Find that in the membership

Join the Membership

Picture

Search the Website


Resources

Mastering Confidence: 
Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system 
Picture
Surviving to Thriving Podcast: Strategies, systems and support to lead with confidence
Picture
  • Home
  • Membership
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Coaching
  • Confidence Book
  • About
  • Contact Me
  • Free Worksheets