KATHY ARCHER
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The woes of working in a predominately female team

1/2/2019

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Do you work with a bunch of women? Do they sometimes drive you nuts?

I walked into an all-female meeting a while back and immediately knew it was going to be an hour full of sarcasm, snide comments and passive aggressiveness. And I was right! OMG! They cut each other off, spewed darts at each other as they spoke and refused to "play nice." I just wanted to shake them all and say stop! Can't you be nice to each other?
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​We work in a predominantly female sector
The majority of people that are employed in the non-profit sector are women, so my guess is you work with a lot of them. I'm also going to venture a guess that you find them "emotional" and that those displays of emotions get on your nerves. I'm curious who's driving you crazy today? Your administrative support, your boss or the team lead? Maybe it's the whole dang team!

Your mood today plays a big role!
Here's the thing, how you are feeling, your mood, affects how tolerable you are of their behaviour.
  • If you are stressed about an upcoming report that is due and slept poorly because you fought with your spouse last night, you may have zero patience left.
  • If instead, you are in a good mood, their sarcastic comment may not trigger you. In fact, you may have compassion for them, knowing they've been struggling with their own issues at home.
It's important to remember, is that your mood impacts how their attitude affects you!
Your mood impacts how their attitude affects you!
​This is what it can look like instead
Coming from a place of compassion and feeling a bit more patience may allow you to address the issue, rather than the person. I am NOT suggesting you let things slide and allow people to be rude, ignorant and disrespectful.
  • But waaaaay back when I taught parenting to families, we taught this golden rule: Address the behaviour, not the child. The child isn't bad. But colouring on the wall is not ok.
Instead of taking their comment personally and biting back, we need to address the issue at hand.
Don't take their comment personally
This is what you can do to deal with moody women on your team
One sure way to find the patience for dealing with other women: Choose your mood. Tune into this Ted Talk to hear the science behind this idea. But here's the thing, you can change your mood. You can lift yourself up, and, it doesn't take much time.
🎶  Mambo # 5   🎶
🎶  Pump up the Jam   🎶
🎶  Rock around the Clock   🎶
Are you smiling?
You didn't even need to HEAR the music, and I know already I've changed your mood! You are hearing the songs in your head...the beat..the tune..the energy. Makes you want to dance, doesn't it? Are you humming?
Boost your mood!
Tips to quickly shift your mood:
  • Sounds, like nature, a baby or music lift our moods. Even thinking about them. So conjure up a memory of a sound you love.
  • You don't have to get a runner's high feel the impact of movement on your mood. A walk around the block or a little dance shuffle down the hall can do that too.
  • Our sense of smell is powerful. Sniff your essential oils to boost your mood.
  • Look or touch the flowers on your desk - Yes you can buy yourself flowers!
  • Stand at the window and feel the sunshine on your face.
  • Probably the easiest and quickest way to boost your mood is to SMILE :-) Smiling releases a ton of endorphins into your body!
If that's not enough
I get it. This is in some ways only a temporary fix. The reality is that ongoing negativity and moods in the office can turn things toxic pretty darn quickly. Here are a couple of more resources for you.
  1. If you are a member of The Training Library, I've just added a webinar replay called Gossiping, Hormones and Backstabbing: Leading in Predominantly Female Teams. You'll find it in the webinar section. If you aren't a member of the Training Library and want this and additional training, join here.
  2. The second resource is an invite to check out the work I am doing with my colleague at The Magnetic Workplace. Our focus is helping you move your culture from toxic or tolerable to a Magnetic Workplace.

But always, start with you! Take responsibility for YOUR mood! Trust me that will have a ripple effect!
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