Do you wonder how to be the best leader you can be? One who makes a difference, has a great team and finds some balance in life? 

Unfortunately, it's not the easiest thing to do. One of the reasons we struggle is that we don't see a lot of other women doing it, so part of us doesn't believe it's even possible. We need more women mentors. I keep looking for them and sharing them with you so we both have more inspiration.

Let me introduce you to Yvette Vargas.

I was listening to an interview with Yvette, Head of Development at Citizen's Bank in the states. Yvette was part of a Women in Leadership conversation series for LHH, an organization that focuses on recruitment, assessments, coaching, and career transitions.

I found Yvette's story, persistence and intentional personal and professional growth as a woman leader inspiring. So many of the suggestions she made for women in leadership had me thinking of the four fundamentals I teach leaders.

Let's dive into them together.

The four fundamentals of leadership:

1. Be yourself
2. Develop yourself
3. Take care of yourself
4. Teach others to do the same

Lead with Authenticity - Be yourself
On Citizen's Bank website, Yvette is quoted as saying, "I used to have separate selves — mother to my children, wife to my husband, caretaker to my parents, employee and friend. I thought that compartmentalizing my 'different selves' would help me manage each relationship better," she said. However, it's only by working to integrate her selves — and finding a job that allows her to bring every aspect of herself to work — that she's found true meaning in her career.

This quote speaks to the authentic nature that we need to lead with. We are not separate people in different aspects of our lives. We are one person doing various things. The more authentic you are, the more confident and comfortable you will feel, and you'll make a more considerable contribution.

To help you lead your best, I encourage you to identify your strengths, gifts, and personality traits. Then, do the work to figure out who you are and authentically be who you are daily. 


START HERE:

• Begin by identifying and clarifying your values in the Values Verification course.
• Then move on to identifying your VIA character strengths.

Continue to grow yourself personally and professionally - Develop yourself
Intentionally developing yourself is critical to becoming the leader you want to be. Yvette spoke in the interview about being very intentional about this. She indicated you need to develop your growth plant and intentionally spend time working on yourself. 

"The amount of time you spend on something is a manifestation of what you value."

If you value your growth and development, you'll put time into growing and developing yourself. 


START HERE:

•  Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development
•  Evaluate your Training and Growth 

Be a balanced leader - Take care of yourself
4️⃣As I listened to Yvette, I could tell she has drive. That's different than being driven. When the work drives you, it becomes a problem. When you drive the work, you do that with intentionality. You also need the energy to do that! That means you need to take care of yourself. 

But Yvette wasn't always that way. She tells the story of needing to shift from being driven by her career to intentionally creating her life and career simultaneously—that required intentionality and self-care.

Taking care of yourself it's not something you do just outside of work. It is something you do all day long. Start by adding teach micro-moments of wellness into your workday.


START HERE:

• Learn how to add Wellness AT Work
• Take 5 minutes to take care of yourself

Be a leader, teacher, mentor and coach - Teach others to do the same

I love Yvette's story of supporting other women to grow and pulling them up as you advance. She learned this early on from her mother and sisters. She's been clear about continuing to do it throughout her career. She sees a large part of her role is developing others. 

When we teach others to be themselves, develop themselves and take care of themselves, we do this through mentoring, guidance, coaching and leadership. Our job as a leader is not always correct and fix employees. Our job as leaders is to help our employees reach their full potential.


START HERE:

• Learn how to do: Staff Supervision That Transforms
• Create Comfortable Coaching Conversations with your employees

The four fundamentals of leadership:

1. Be yourself
2. Develop yourself
3. Take care of yourself
4. Teach others to do the same

To learn more about these fundamentals, tune into this episode of the podcast.


What strategy, suggestion, or idea will you begin with today? Hit reply and tell me where you are starting and what you are inspired to awaken in yourself after listening to Yvettes' story.

Perhaps as a nonprofit leader, I'm guessing you can relate to my challenge. I was nattering along in my head the other day about something not going right, as we all do at times! Suddenly I stopped myself, and out loud, I said, "Thank you. That's not part of the vision."


My negative mind chatter needed to change fast!
The direction I was going with my mind chatter was definitely not the direction I wanted it to be going in my head or my life. Swirling down with negativity was not going to help my situation. Instead, pausing, expressing gratitude, and then reminding myself of my vision was much more helpful.


I shifted my mind with this powerful statement.
The statement "Thank you. That's not part of my vision" comes from the book The Ant and the Elephant, which I read last week. In this easy, quick read by Vince Poscente, he encourages us to realize the enormous potential of our unconscious mind and how that can help us lead ourselves and others. 

I totally recommend this book to any leader who wants to inspire and motivate their team.


Don't get caught up in this trap.
What happens for many of us is that we tend to focus on what's wrong and try and fix it. But unfortunately, focusing on what's wrong makes us pessimistic, which leads to frustration, bitterness, anger, resentment etc. You get the picture.


It won't help you create an engaged team.
Feeling negative, bitter and frustrated doesn't make you feel any better, and it certainly doesn't motivate and inspire those around you to do better. Furthermore, that kind of attitude will not engage your team; it also helps to make your employees feel connected, inspire loyalty and thus encourage retention of good employees. 

Instead, when you can pull in towards the vision with inspiration, you'll get a whole different response. 


Gratitude makes the important shift in attitude that will create engagement.
Starting with gratitude is not often thought of as a tool to lead well. Sure it's a happiness booster and something we like to add for feel good extras but using gratitude as a staple in leadership is not something many of us have been taught or currently practice. But it is.


Now, back to my learning from The Ant and the Elephant. Why is this statement, "Thank you. That's not part of the vision," so powerful for leaders? Let's break down each component.


How to use gratitude to be a better nonprofit leader in 3 easy steps

First, we have to pause
First, we have to pause.
Pausing helps us get out of a negativity cycle, reactionary mode and brings us back to the present moment. In addition, it evokes mindfulness, something we all need a bit more of.


Second, we express gratitude.
Second, we express gratitude. Thank you.

The trick is that you can't be angry and grateful simultaneously. You can't be bitter, frustrated and annoyed and feel a sense of appreciation inside of you.

Expressing gratitude recognizes that, while maybe we are where we want to be, there are lessons to be learned about how we got here. Perhaps we are grateful for the reminder to get out of the negativity cycle. But gratitude turns us around.


Finally, we redirect our thoughts.
Finally, we redirect our thoughts. That's not part of the vision.
Do you have a vision? This statement reminds us that we need a vision individually and as leaders. It's an opportunity for us to reconnect to that vision and connect those around us to the vision.

Remember, if you don't know where you're going, any path will get you there. Leading your team around aimlessly is not going to help you generate engagement, motivate people or inspire loyalty. 

So you need to know where you're going! 

• What vision do you have for the type of leader you want to be
• What's the vision you have for the kind of team you want to lead
• What's your vision for the impact you want you and your team to make?

When you pull all these three together, you can see how important each piece is.

1. Pause
2. Express gratitude
3. Connect to the vision

Pausing and starting with gratitude is not always easy. Gratitude seems too easy or too fluffy. But, gratitude is more than that.


Gratitude isn't a thing. It's a feeling.
It is not just an attitude of gratitude. Nor is it simply to practice gratitude. It starts with a feeling of gratitude. When I say feel, I mean that literally ⬇️


We need to feel the transcendent sensation of 🙏🏻 gratitude in our bodies.
We need to feel it inside of us before we express it verbally.
We need to feel it viscerally before the expression of gratitude can be genuine.
And when we do this often, we create a culture of gratitude that pulls our team in, engages them and inspires them.


Here is an example of the 3 steps in practice
Let's imagine the employee it's a negative comment under staff meeting. You've just shared a slight shift to the new procedure. One way to respond is to get defensive and explain it again, this time a little bit louder with more emphasis. We all know how that's gonna go! 


Another way is to say:
"Thank you for sharing your views. Your frustration shows you care.
I know changes aren't always easy. However, the vision I have is that once we get through the sticky parts of the change, and yes, we may still have to make some amendments, but once we get through all of those, I'm expecting that we'll find it makes a big difference for our client's outings."


Thank you! That's not part of the vision! But let me tell you what is part of the vision...
 
Extra resources for leadership gratitude
This month in The Training Library, my students are receiving a new lesson on gratitude for leaders.


As a member of The Training Library, you'll receive a video lesson giving you strategies for implementing gratitude as a leader. Additionally, the worksheet students receive will take you from simply expressing "I'm grateful for..." to a whole other way of thinking about gratitude each day and applying it to your own life and your leadership.


Inspiring your team - 3 steps:

1. It starts with pausing.
2. Then, feeling and then expressing gratitude.
3. Finally, connecting to your vision.

When you apply these three steps daily, you'll be on your way to enjoying impactful leadership.

Even for nonprofit leaders, summer feels different for most of us. The sun is shining, the weather is warmer, and kids are out of school. That, however, for most of us, doesn't mean we don't have to work.

We still need to get things done. It's just a different pace for most of us, and that slower pace gives opportunities to do other things.

Last week we talked about 4 easy steps to keep your nonprofit productive on projects over summer. This week we are going to cover three things to do this summer that will make you a better leader.

Three things to do this summer that will make you a better leader

​
1 - Clean your desk

Often the clutter gathers, the piles grow taller, and the sticky notes begin to blend together. The physical clutter creates mental clutter. 

👉 DO THIS: Set aside a half hour to sort through what's on your desk.
This time doesn't have to be a deep dive into everything that's there, but we orient yourselves to what is there. You may create piles for these 3 areas:

• Do it - schedule it in
• Delegate it - put their name on it asap
• Ditch it - into the garbage it goes!

Creating physical space will create mental space. If you need more mental space, read this: 3 tips for helping you create thinking moments.


2 - Read a book

Whether you're a regular reader or not, make sure that you set aside some time in summer to read at least one leadership book and one nonwork-related book. Both will help you come up with new ideas, grow yourself and relax. In addition, this list will help you find some books if you're interested.

👉 DO THIS: Schedule a few minutes to order a book, borrow a book or ask for a book recommendation from someone.
Here are some suggestions: Read these 6 impactful books this summer | Feel your leadership confidence grow


3 - Ask for feedback

Sadly, leaders rarely get specific, helpful feedback. Summer, when it is potentially a bit quieter, is a perfect time to set up some one-to-one time with some of your employees to solicit that kind of feedback.

👉 DO THIS: Schedule some time with a few of your employees. Perhaps it's a walk in the park, sitting at the picnic table or an online call where you're both on your decks. When you create the space for a relaxed chat, it's the opportunity to ask for some feedback in a more friendly way. 

Here are three questions you can ask your employee to get valuable feedback:

1. What's been the most helpful thing I've done for you in the last six months
2. If you could have a little bit more of my time, what would you use it for?
3. When we sit down next summer to talk, what do you want to say I've done to help you grow?

If you are looking for more tips for feedback, this webinar may help: Gather input to reach your potential

When you take time this summer to do something different to focus on your leadership development, you'll find yourself growing both personally and professionally. 

What else do you try to get done over the summer to help you be a better nonprofit leader? Add your ideas below so we can all inspire each other!

Are you anxious about losing momentum over the summer on some key projects and initiatives that your team is working on? As employees move into summer mode, the ability to keep things rolling can be challenging and trying for leaders.

Fear not! Here are 5 ways to use summer to gain momentum rather than lose it.

I'm distracted before holiday time
When I am getting ready to go on vacation, the final working days are focused on tying up loose ends so that nothing unravels while I'm gone. My mind is on red flags and potential hotspots. I am not focused enough to be able to sit down and do the deep thinking that is often required on larger projects.

I'm trying to get caught up when I get back
Upon returning from vacation, the following days are dedicated to putting out any fires that arose, catching up on the office happenings and trying to clean out my inbox. Unfortunately, once again, I am not usually in the right frame of mind to be able to dig deep on a project.

The day or two before we leave on holiday and certainly the days after 
we come back are often considered write-offs for most people. Combine everyone's time off, and it seems like a lost few months.

Therefore when someone is away for a week, it feels like you've lost two weeks to focus on a project. Add to that the sunshine, ice cream cones and the kids being out of school as distractions, and it's even harder over summer to get anything done at the office. So it's easy to see how we can lose momentum in team projects as people alternate being away for summer vacation. 

A leader can choose to see summer differently
As the leader in charge, it can be disheartening for you to see a project come to a standstill. However, projects do not have to get derailed over the summer. When you step back and see the gift in this shift of office rhythm over summer, you can put it to good use!

Summer schedules can allow more focused project time
The truth is you can accomplish a lot over summer because there are fewer distractions in many ways. In summer, there are fewer people in the office, fewer meetings and generally a slower pace. Use this to your advantage to get ahead on some of the components of the project.



5 ways to use summer to gain momentum 
rather than lose it



1️⃣ First, break the project down between group
and individual tasks


A meeting between two people can be more effective than a large group meeting. 


👥 A duo can:

• get ideas rolling
• outline options 
• create a starting point for the larger group to work from. 

🙋‍♀️ Individually, you can:

• Review the material instead of waiting until the meeting and asking someone to explain it to you. 
• Identify questions and email them to people so they can prepare their answers. 
• Complete research
• Prepare statistics
•  Draft specific written portions of the work

 


2️⃣ Block off time to work on the project


Our role as leaders is often mentoring. Therefore, summer is an excellent time to show how to get things done despite the season. Typically our calendars are less scheduled in the summer. As a result, it's easy almost to get almost lazy as we go through days. 

📆 Schedule time into your calendar
When you block off a set time to work on a project in your agenda, it gives you the ability to focus during those 2 hours. 

🗣 Communicate your intentions
Tell those around you that you are unavailable and not to disrupt you. Treat the time you have identified as if it were a meeting with another person. This not only keeps others from chatting with you but adds in the layer of accountability. By clearly identifying to others that we are working on a project, you tend to feel more motivated to stay on task. After all, if you say you are working on it, you should have something to show for it after. 

🙋‍♀️ Get others to participate
Ask participants on the team also to identify a block of time or times when they are working alone on the project. Have them identify what precisely they will be doing during that time. Ensure they commit to their part by a specific date. 

✅ Keep everyone accountable
Hold each other accountable for what you say you will be working on. Set conversation times with others for the afternoon when it is easier to get derailed. Perhaps meet out at the picnic table or do a walking meeting. Getting outside will infuse creativity and innovation into your conversation and give you some time to enjoy all that summer has to offer.



3️⃣ Set realistic goals for summer



Start by looking at a calendar and people's schedules to determine how much time you have to work on the project over the summer period. 

• Identify how many hours ⏳ you truly have to work on the project.

 

• Consider what you can accomplish 🤔 with that amount of time

 

• Write down your 📈 plans and targets. Be specific about:
• The smaller project components
• Who's responsible for which parts
• Deadlines, due dates and targets

🖥 Put the summer plan and targets in a place everyone has access to. Having identified targets to work on keeps people motivate and on board.



4️⃣ Build in frequent review systems



Review is a critical component of goal achievement. It keeps people aware, engaged and interested. Listed below are some ways to develop a review system for your team.

• Use online project management software such as Trello, Basecamp, Clickup or Asana to keep track of the parts of the project, persons responsible and deadlines. 
• Use a Google or Microsoft document that all team members have access to, allowing you to keep track of what parts have been completed and what needs reviewing. 
• Have weekly 10-minute conference calls for whoever is in attendance to update what is happening. Have them recorded so others can listen to them when they return from holidays to keep up to date. The key is these review sessions need to be very short and entirely on task. 

Get excited and lead your team to a productive summer
Please don't throw up your hands now and say it's useless to get anything done this summer. Instead, give yourself a knowing smile as you:

1. Set the intention that you will get more done this summer.
2. Get clear on what you are doing to do, when and who's responsible.
3. Choose to lead productively through summer rather than give up.
4. Make sure you and your team set a date for celebration to acknowledge the focused concentration over the summer!

What will you do to keep the momentum going in your summer project? Hit reply and let me know!


Is it time for you to work on you?
Is summer a time when you want to recommit to your learning journey, set your personal and professional goals, and get started on the next steps? You may be interested in this series of training in my membership site The Training Library 

• COURSE: My Training and Growth Annual Analysis: 
• WEBINAR: Create Your Quarterly Goal Setting & Planning Strategy
• WEBINAR: Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development
• WEBINAR: Quarterly Review

"Can I interrupt you for a second – do you have a minute?"

This is the sound of productivity being shot through the roof. However, every day, we need to decide how much time we want to spend focusing on our work and how much time we want to give to our nonprofit staff.

The other morning I had an interruption just as I started my workday. I bet you've had that happen to you. Just as you begin something, there's a knock at the door or a text or phone call. 

How do you know when to deal with or ignore the interruption?
Consciously deciding when to let interruptions in and when not helps you focus on what you need to focus on when you need to, set clear boundaries, and be there for people when they need them. Learning to balance your people and your projects is a balancing act for most leaders.

We need to get stuff done. We have reports to write, emails to send, applications to fill out, preparation for meetings, and all the other stuff that goes along with achieving our mission-driven work. 

Effective leaders learn to balance the "task work" with being in relationship with (aka being there for) the people who do our organization's client and community work. 

The question is: 
How do you know when to let the people side of your work interrupt the task side of your work and, conversely, when to stay focused on the task?

My interruption
My interruption this morning was from my granddaughter. School is out now. When I see my granddaughter's name pop up on my phone, I know that she's likely looking for some attention or that something is wrong. She's ten years old and home alone in the morning for a couple of hours. I answered my phone to discover she wanted to borrow some eggs so she could make herself French toast.

Your interruption
For you, it may be a staff that needs to look over their work, a crisis that has blown up, or somebody who wants to pick your brain. You may have a good idea of who the interruption is from and be able to use that information to help you make a decision. 

How I dealt with my interruption
In addition to wanting to borrow eggs, my granddaughter wanted to know when I was going for a walk, and I could tell she was bored. So I told her to come over and get the eggs, and I would look and let her know when my break was later in the day so we could go on a walk together.

How you can deal with your interruptions
Learning how to deal with interruptions in a way that feels good to you starts when you build a framework around decisions making. Here are 3 steps to consider to help you make decisions about interruptions you can feel good about. 



STEP # 1 - Start by being clear with what's on your agenda

While I didn't have calls scheduled for that early in the morning, I did have a project I was working on slotted into that time frame. Awareness of your agenda items is one of the critical factors in deciding whether to allow yourself to be interrupted. Scheduling in non-meeting tasks creates a meeting with yourself, a commitment and a tool for determining if you will let the interruption in.

🤔 Ask yourself these questions:

• What did you have planned during that time? 
• Is it something time-sensitive, or is there some flexibility in it? 

I was working on a project that wasn't due for a few days. So while there was some flexibility, it wasn't something that I could push off for too long. 


STEP # 2 - Set clear boundaries
I told my granddaughter she could come over and get the eggs, but I didn't have time for a long chitchat. However, even though I set that boundary, she lingered when she showed up, and I had to nudge her out the door after about nine hugs! 

You've been there, right? You answer the question or deal with the issue, and then you do the typical nonverbals to suggest that the conversation is over. You even may say something like, ok, I better get back at it and yet they still stand there, ask more questions, hem and haw etc. Here's the tricky part about allowing interruptions. It's creating a time frame boundary around the interruption.

🗣 Try using these phrasesYou will need to be extremely clear on the timelines upfront and continue to communicate those timelines throughout

Here's an example

• I can only give you 10 minutes this morning, so let's get started right away.
• We only have two minutes left. What do you need me to really answer before we finish up?
• I know 10 minutes wasn't a lot of time for you. Do we need to schedule more later when I can give you more time?

The clearer you can be with your boundaries, the easier it is to hang up the phone, end the chat, or shut the door at the end of the interruption.

As much as my granddaughter wanted to linger, I knew it was time for her to go as I walked her to the door. I followed up, ensuring she knew what time I had a break later and that I would message her to go for a walk with her then. I didn't brush her off. Instead, I scheduled time to connect with her when I could give her my undivided attention.


STEP # 3 - Know what's important to you

I had to know what's important to me, what I value
Finally, it's essential to know and understand your values. Family is incredibly important to me. My granddaughters mean the world to me, but I'm also committed very deeply to the work I do for you. Balancing connection to family and deep, meaningful work has been a lifelong challenge. It's not something that comes easily, there is no quick formula, and the parameters will continually change.

You, too, need to be clear on what you value
My advice to you here is to be as transparent in your mind as possible. Try these two questions.

1. What's important at this moment?
2. When I look back three years from now, what's the decision I will want to have made?

❤️ Start with verifying your values
Through the Values Verification course exercises, I recognized that my top value is not family. Instead, my top value is excellence. That clarity around what is ultimately important to me helps me make these decisions more clearly. 

How can I provide excellent quality to you and, at the same time, be an excellent grandma? The answer is by giving quality time and attention to the project that I had scheduled for that morning and quality time and attention to my granddaughter.

I had to be "excellent" in both areas
If I had let my granddaughter interrupt my morning for any longer than I did, I would not have been an excellent grandma; I would've been a distracted grandma. Letting her interrupt the time I had scheduled for the project would have made me feel edgy. I would have been thinking about what I "should" be doing. I would have been trying to end the little visit multiple times, but discreetly, so she didn't feel like I was finishing it. It would have come across as icky for both of us.

I honoured my value of excellence in two areas of my life by setting and communicating clear boundaries and scheduling time for both areas. 

• First, I set the parameters in the morning around how much time I could give my granddaughter (aka enough to provide her with the eggs and nine hugs) and offered time later in the day when I could give her my undivided attention. In this way, I focused on the relationships in my life that are important to me.
• Then, I completed my task work with a clear mind and in a timely fashion. 

3 questions to help you feel good about the decisions you make

Making decisions about interruptions like this doesn't come easily or quickly.
It takes time to understand how to make these decisions more quickly. That time often comes through after-the-fact self-reflection.


✏️ Take a moment to think about your decisions in the last 24 hours. 

1. What factors did you use to make those decisions?
2. What values came into play? 
3. Would you make the same decision again? 
4. Would you communicate in the same way?

Engaging in ongoing self-reflection helps you prepare for future decisions, communicate boundaries, and apologize when you get it wrong because we likely will more than once.

Sometimes it is worth letting someone interrupt you, and sometimes it isn't
Time, or lack thereof, is the biggest bottleneck for most nonprofit leaders because there are so many other demands on your time and attention beyond your core mission. There are always more things that you need to do. However, we also learn to balance what time we give time to our people and when to use it for projects.

Being clear with what's on your agenda, knowing what's important to you and communicating clear boundaries will help you be both productive and create engagement with your nonprofit team!

READ THIS NEXT: 
3 Decision-making mistakes you may be making and quick the fixes
Episode # 58 - Learn a decisive decision-making hack and how to use it - For women leaders
Nonprofit Leaders | 10 important questions you must ask before your next decision

Summer is kicking off; for many of us, this means extra reading time. If your reading list and maybe it's lacking in the leadership department. Here are a few suggestions I have for you to add to your summer reading list:

Summer Reading Book Suggestions 

📚 Digital Body Language by Erica Dhawan

Some of us are still virtual, some hybrid. However, even if you're in the office full time, my guess is many of the meetings you have are virtual. On top of that, much of our communication is often via email, messenger or text. This book helps you understand the body language of digital communication. It's fascinating and beneficial. 
p.s. the PDF file that comes with the audio version is phenomenal! 
Find the book here


📚 Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

This book is not a book to read from front to back. Instead, it's a reference book you'll hopefully return to regularly. So take some time to skim through it and dig deeper into the parts that pull you in. This book helps you understand emotions and feelings and expands your emotional vocabulary. Developing your emotional vocabulary is extremely helpful if you want to increase your emotional intelligence and be a more composed and emotionally in control leader.
Find the book here


📚 The Five Levels of Attachment by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr

You'll recognize the author if you've read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. However, this book is by Don Miguel's son. He goes through how we attach to ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Recognizing how tightly you've grasped your view helps to loosen your grip so that you can see others' points of view, develop new awarenesses and grow yourself. 
Find the book here


📚 The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

Oh my goodness! No, this is not a leadership book. Today it is rated #1 in Literary Graphic Novels, #4 in Happiness, and #5 in Ethics & Morality 
But so many life lessons and reminders help put our lives into perspective. I listened to the audio version, which is less than an hour long and beautifully read by the author. I have replayed segments of it when I need those little reminders. 
Find the book here

I thought about doing a book club on this book. So if you read it, let me know if you'd be interested in that. 


📚 Think Again by Adam Grant

Much of our thinking is unconscious. I'm often encouraging you to be more conscious with your thinking. In this book, you learn ways that thinking can help us and some of how it can get in the way. The ideas open your eyes to how you may want to engage in conversations with different people differently, explore other people's thoughts, get their input and work together. 
Find the book here


📚 Mastering Confidence by Kathy Archer

Yes, I am also recommending my book. In in, I provide you with a framework for managing your thoughts. When your doubt, hesitation, and fear of imposter syndrome get in the way of leading, presenting, engaging in difficult conversations or running a staff meeting, it doesn't feel very good! This framework helps you rein in those thoughts and gives you structure you can return to when your thoughts begin to get the better of you again. 
Find the book here


What books would you add to the list? Comment below so the rest of us can add to our reading list too!


There are plenty of ways to brush up on your leadership skills this summer. Picking up one of these six books is a good start and see how a new perspective, idea or strategy can boost your confidence as a leader.

As you go about your day as a nonprofit leader, something may happen, and you may feel your body tighten. For example, your stomach knots up, your chest feels heavy, or your throat tightens or feels dry. Perhaps you overreact or shut down. This physical response may be a sign you may have just got triggered.
 
We often get triggered when something threatens our values. This response results when we feel something important to us is at risk.


Here's how I got triggered this weekend...
Let me give you an example. I value order. I like things to be in their place, and I like to have things tidy. However, this weekend I was triggered multiple times by mud on the floor and the result from when someone in my house who didn't think it was a problem not to clean their feet before they came in. (Can you guess who?)

We're in the middle of backyard renovations. Unfortunately, with this weekend's rain, my backyard was a mud hole. Each time my husband, the dog, or I came in, a pile of mud and dirt came with us. Because a sense of order is important to me, I would take my shoes off outside, ensure the dog's feet were clean before he came in and immediately sweep up any chunks of mud.


This is what triggered me...
On the other hand, my husband sees the mess as part of the process, so the mess doesn't bother him. So it's not a problem for him to walk around barefoot outside and come into the house. He values freedom, ease and relaxation. He likes to be barefoot, and walking around in the grass and mud doesn't bother him. The house will get cleaned eventually, so what's the big deal? 


Which camp are you in?

• The mess triggers me 
• My constant need to clean triggers him 
• Likely, depending on which side of the fence you're on, you'll feel triggered by one of our perspectives.

This is how knowing my trigger helped me
Knowing that I'm triggered by disarray helps me manage my emotions and be somewhat humourous about my incessant need to clean. Aware that the tightness in my chest is building, I can manage my frustration with my husband by managing my self-talk, taking some deep breaths or distracting myself with something I enjoy. 


Jenessa's story..
During a coaching call the other day, my client Jenessa became aware that when others aren't accountable for their actions or in-actions, or their responsibilities etc., she is triggered. Jenessa feels her chest tighten, purses her lips, and sometimes clenches her hands. She laughed at the memory of pounding out a response to a chat message when she was annoyed with someone shirking their responsibility. 


Does either of these feel familiar to you?
Just as...

• Disarray or messes triggers my value (need for) order and cleanliness.
• Jenessa found that when someone weasels out of their responsibilities, deflects blame or dodges accountability, she becomes annoyed and irritated. 

This is why identifying your triggers is important
Identifying triggers is part of working with and understanding our values to help us be more emotionally intelligent and confident in our abilities. When you know what's important to you and what it feels like when that thing (i.e. order, accountability) is being threatened, it's easier to choose a response than react in a way you may regret later. 

Below you'll find steps to help you find the clarity around your value to help you be more intentional instead of reactionary.



5 steps to use your VALUES to be more emotionally intelligent 

Here is the process to help you find the clarity around your value to help you be more intentional instead of reactionary.

1 - Identify your values

2- Get an understanding of what your values mean to you

• create a list of word strings
• define your value with a sentence or paragraph

3 - Determine how your values show up in your life

4 - Pinpoint what's going on when you are aligned with your values or not

5- Get clear on what triggers show up when things in your life aren't in line with your values
 
This deeper understanding of your values helps you to manage your emotions, navigate tough conversations and focus on what matters most when it matters most!


One more example...
If you are trying to wind down a conversation at a meeting, you may value timeliness or efficiency. Your annoyance with those who are dragging the conversation out is triggering that value.

That's why you are:

• Sighing
• Internally rolling your eyes 
• You may even send a private chat to your colleague about how the other person is dragging this on. 

Conversely, your peer may be

• Looking to engage others - they may value contribution
• Ensuring they have lots of ideas - they may value creativity
• Trying to get that one person who never talks just finally to speak up - they may value inclusion

See how that all works together?

Need some help?
This month inside my membership, I added a worksheet to the Values Verification course, helping members identify their triggers. If this is part of what you need, or the five steps listed above, check out the course here and if you think it would be helpful, join the membership here.

When you join The Training Library membership, you'll become confident in your leadership abilities, learn to bounce back when adversity hits, discover how to be your best self and find a place to belong!
​
Becoming emotionally intelligent and confident in our leadership abilities takes time and requires skill development and increased awareness of what makes us tick! To do this, take responsibility for where you are and where you are going by creating your own personal and professional development plan. Intentional development is your path to success in both your leadership and life. 

Read this next:
The 8 most overlooked definitions in leadership and why they matter

I bet there are times you wish you could be involved in an engaging leadership experience? Not a one-off course, webinar or conference session, but an experience, over time, that deepens your learning!

In 2012 I did that. For 10 months, about 20 other leaders from around the world and I learned together, online and in person. Four times we met for a week at a time in California. Between those sessions, we met online and had partner projects that required us to meet in person with our partners. It was an incredible experience. It was also one of the most transformative things I've ever done. 

Not everyone can do something like that, but we can create learning experiences for our teams. Not training per se, but an experience where you learn, grow and develop over time.  

I am blessed to be working with a large group of nonprofit leaders for nine months to help them become inspiring leaders. Inspiring leaders motivate and engage their teams, so they enjoy their jobs and do meaningful work together. 

One of the first things I covered with the participants of the Inspiring Leadership group was the four fundamentals of leadership. They are the base for the future of the work we do together.

Even though you may not be involved in a group program, you can benefit from these fundamentals and use them over the next several months of your leadership journey. I'll give you a brief overview and share some suggestions that you can do to work on yourself! Then you can create your strategy and plan for growth.


The 4 fundamentals of leaders

Be yourself
As teenagers, we spent a lot of time figuring out our identity, answering the question, who am I? But as we mature, we have spent more time conforming to what's expected of us than who we are and are more focused on; how do I fit in? As such, we've often lost touch with who we are.

The first thing I do with individuals or teams is help them identify their strengths, values and morals. Understanding what makes you tick, thrive, and the triggers that make you react is fundamental to inspiring, motivating and engaging others. 

 Suggestion: Take time to consider:

• What are your strengths?
• What are your values?
• What is morally and ethically right for you?

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• COURSE: Values Verification: Validating What's Important to You
• COURSE: Understanding your VIA Signature Strengths
• COURSE: Understanding your VIA Signature Strengths

 Develop yourself
Ongoing personal and professional development is critical. For example, when I was in the ten-month leadership program, we had a list of required reading, each had a coach, and we learned A LOT about leadership and ourselves. At the end of the course, I committed to continue learning to be a better speaker and joined Toastmasters. I'm still involved!

 Suggestion: Create your learning plan

• What will you learn?
• How / where will you learn it from?
• How will you practice what you are learning?

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• COURSE: My Training and Growth Annual Analysis
• WEBINAR: Create Your Quarterly Goal Setting & Planning Strategy!
• WEBINAR: Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development

 Take care of yourself 
Taking care of yourself is critical for effective leadership.

• You can't be composed when you are hangry. 
• You won't be focused when you haven't stood up in 3 hours. 
• You can't be decisive on 4 hours of sleep. 

When you don't take care of yourself, your body won't be able to endure the demands of leadership.

 Suggestion: Commit to wellness

• Start with micro-moments of wellness
• Create wellness habits
• Focus on balancing, not balanced

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• COURSE: Wellness AT Work
• COURSE: Bouncing Back from Leadership Adversities
• WEBINAR: The 5-Minute Self-Care Strategy for the Swamped Gal

Teach others to do the same
If you want the best for and out of the people you work with, they need to be themselves, develop themselves and take care of themselves. Teach, role model and mentor these habits to them. 
 
 Suggestion: Coach your people

• Ask them about their strengths, values, and ethical approaches. 
• Infused learning and growth conversations into regular supervision
• Ask them about what they need to do to be at their best and help them apply that 

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• Course: Staff Supervision That Transforms
• WEBINAR: Creating Comfortable Coaching Conversations
• WEBINAR: Team Morale: Confidently boost the mood of your team!​

Starting the journey of mastering these fundamentals is critical for you to BECOME confident in your abilities, BOUNCE BACK when adversity hits and BE your best self!

Someone lied to me the other day. It was a lie to cover up a lie. I knew it right away. I'm not sure that they knew it, though. Maybe not consciously. I think it's a habit for them.

Regardless of whether they knew or not that they lied to me, their habit of lying caused me to lose another measure of trust in them. 

Trust, one of the foundations of leadership, is built by leaders' decisions, one decision at a time. Each decision builds on the other, solidifying how much someone feels you are trustworthy. However, how much someone trusts you can come crashing down, broken by one seemingly small decision.

Many of our decisions in leadership and life are unconscious, and this is where problems can begin. No, we can't think about every little choice and decision we make. However, as leaders, we need to be more consciously aware of how we make decisions, small and big. Furthermore, we need to be much more aware of the unconscious habits we make around certain types of decisions. 

Your decisions paint a portrait of who you are. Each decision is a brush stroke of your character. Your character is who you are, not what you do. It's how people talk about you. Your character is your reputation or what they think about you. 

For example, we may speak in awe of certain women's characteristics:

• She is so reliable. 
• I love her honesty.
• What grace she has!
• That is a woman of integrity.
• Such determination and persistence.
• I appreciate her ability to be decisive. 
• She has a clear head on her shoulders.

Then at times, we cringe at other character traits that some women exude:

• She's so cold. 
• She's so picky.
• I can't trust her.  
• She's condescending and demeaning.
• That woman would cut off her leg if it meant she could save a buck!

So you see, your reputation or character matters!

Back to the person who lied to me. The thing is, I know this person will add other lies to the painting regularly. As such, I see them as a liar. Don't get me wrong. These are not always big lies. But, often, the lies I am talking about are:

• Things like neglecting to share specific details of a story.
• Fudged timelines of events.
• Embellishments of a story. 
  
  

It makes me wonder when they lie about these little things, what big things will they also lie about?

But, it's not only lying. How about racist humour?

I know someone else who makes comments about certain races, genders, religions or personalities but always minimizes their supposed intended impact with a joke, a chuckle or a caveat that they are not biassed or prejudiced. Oh, but the picture they are painting, by choosing to say these things in the first place, tells a different story to my eyes.

These are more dramatic examples of how we shape our character. However, think now about the much more subtle decisions you make all day long and how they may affect how others view you as their leader. 

• When you answer every phone call, text, or chat within minutes, you paint a picture of someone who is readily available and perhaps, who needs to be informed all the time, a bit controlling.
• When someone comes to you with a problem, and you solve the problem for them, you paint the picture of someone knowledgeable, intelligent and a good problem solver. But, unfortunately, you may also paint a picture of someone who doesn't trust other people to solve their own problems. 
•  When you tell people it's OK to chat and visit at work because it's good to build relationships, but you rarely join in, you may paint a picture of someone who doesn't believe those social times are valuable or not beneath upper management. 

These unconscious, small decisions often paint a picture of the type of leader you are. The point is to choose the image you're painting. To do that requires you to be more conscious of your decision-making, especially your micro-decisions. Micro-decisions are made all day long and are rarely seen as decisions because they are often more like habits. But make no doubt about it, you can choose differently. 

Consider these examples of micro-decisions:

• Picking your phone up several times during the conversation to check your notifications, email or social media.
  • or choosing to leave your phone in the other room or in your pocket 
• Rolling your eyes when someone complains again about something that's been discussed multiple times.
  •  or taking a deep breath before you respond to a triggering comment
• Snapping a little more aggressively than you meant to at someone 
  • or grabbing some food to refuel yourself before you get hangry
• Meaning to respond to just one more email before you leave for the day, but then deal with one more and another and another.
  • or closing your computer at the time, you said you were leaving
• Creating a list of things that need "addressed" before going into staff supervision 
  • or reminding yourself of your employee's strengths before going to have a conversation with them and how you can use those strengths to develop their competence
• Keeping your head down, praying no one will talk to you when you walk down the hall to your office
  • or smiling and making eye contact with people when you walk down the hall, responding to bids for your attention with "I don't have time to chat about that now. Can we do it at 2 pm? I'll have 15 minutes then."

Micro decisions shape your character, paint a picture of who you are and tell others the type of leader you are.


Three steps to becoming more conscious of your microdecisions and making better ones!

1) Pick a short period each day for a week.
30 - 60 minutes is good enough. It could be a meeting, 1-1 conversation, or when you are working at your computer. 

2) Remind yourself to do self-reflection for 1 minute after the time

• Set a timer to go off at the end of that time
• Create a reminder in your calendar to notify you

3) Make a note of any micro-decisions you made during that period
On a piece of paper, in your notebook or on an electronic note, make one of your micro-decisions.
Each time you do this over the week, come up with at least 3 per period and look for new ones each time you do the minute of self-reflection.

Each time you do this, you'll become more and more conscious of the micro-decisions you are painting. Take some time to consider if these micro-decisions are painting the picture of the type of leader you want to be. If not, what will you need to do to become more conscious about these micro-decisions, and how will you change them?

Our decisions shape us and shape others' views of us. 
Are your decisions matching what you want that view to be?


What to read next:
​How to worry less about what you DO and plan more for who you are BEING
Nonprofit Leaders | 10 important questions you must ask before your next decision
Should you care more about what your nonprofit employees think about you?


Podcasts to listen to:
Episode # 16 - Discerning Before Deciding - Here's How
Episode # 32 - Three questions to help you make better decisions
Episode # 58 - Learn a decisive decision making hack and how to use it - For women leaders


Most women leaders in nonprofits have never received training on HOW to make decisions decisively, yet decisiveness is a crucial competency of leaders. To feel confident in making decisions, you need to know how to make decisions! If you want to learn the three-step process to make decisions quickly and efficiently with your integrity intact, click here.


When you cancel your regularly scheduled supervision with someone, do you tell them it's because you have another more important meeting, you are exhausted, or because you can't stomach the conversation you'll have with them? 
Which one is closest to the truth? ​

​Have you seen it? It's new. A fresh, new look for The Training Library, a membership site which provides training and support to women leaders in nonprofits so they can master their leadership! 

The logo's pencil symbolizes the self-reflective worksheets in each course to help you be more productive, inspire your staff, and feel good about your work and the life you lead!

What's really new? The word mastering!

Keep reading to learn why the tagline, mastering leadership, is so essential for you!

A little bit of the back story...I've wanted to design a new logo for The Training Library for a while now but couldn't figure out the tagline. Finally, after some work with my coach, some soul-searching and late-night insights, the word mastering emerged.

You may notice a theme here—my book Mastering Confidence and The Training Library—Mastering Leadership.  
 
Why the word mastering?

Let's first talk about why I created The Training Library. If you don't know what The Training Library is, let me tell you. 

A huge thank you to all who commented, voted and gave me suggestions on the new logo for The Training Library - MUCH APPRECIATED!


Why I created The Training Library 

I often wanted to teach my coaching clients a particular aspect of what they were learning; however, we didn't have the time during our coaching calls. Alternately, I would spend time teaching it, but then we didn't have time to get into how to integrate it into their life and leadership. 

What I needed was the ability to both teach and coach. But it wasn't just about me. 


What you need...

Let's be honest; it would help if you had bite-sized chunks of learning that are affordable, easily accessible, and on various leadership topics. But we don't all need the same training simultaneously. You may not have the same challenge that your peer has today, but you might need the information she needs today a month from now.

Hence, I created a library of training, tools and resources to help you develop your leadership. But honestly, it's not just a library. 


What doesn't work for you...
You can read a book, watch a TED talk, or attend a course and get much of the information I teach inside The Training Library. So why isn't it as simple as that? 

• First, you may not have the time. 
• Second, you may not be interested in learning that way. 
• Third, you may have already tried that, and it didn't work.

You've been missing the ability to integrate your learning in a way that works for you, and with the limited time, money and support you have available to you.


What might work better for you...

The beauty of The Training Library is not the information you get in the courses I teach you. Instead, the ongoing integration of that information into your leadership and life is what makes the difference.

This integration happens when you use the worksheets, complete the journal prompts, establish the habits and create the systems that I guide you through to apply the information you learn. 


This is why you want to master leadership...

The mastery of the skills makes all the difference in your life. The process of working towards mastery is what moves you:

• from surviving to thriving ✔️
• from feeling like an imposter to feeling confident ✔️
• from hating your job to finding fulfilment in your job ✔️
• from feeling like a failure to bouncing back after adversity hits ✔️

True mastery is choosing the same thing every time. 

• Regardless if you have time, a master decides to take the time to do a micro-moment of wellness before they go into that tough conversation, knowing full well it will help them maintain their composure.
• Even though their inbox is overflowing, the phone is reminding them of the three text messages they have yet to get to, and another meeting starts in 2 minutes, a master chooses to take a moment to be intentional about who they want to be in that meeting and the impact they want to have.
• A master chooses, again and again, to carve out time each week to plan their week, rather than just doing it IF they have the time.

True mastery is choosing the same thing every time. The Training Library helps you create that consistency of choice.


By the way, it's a continuous journey!

And one little secret that all the good masters know is that you'll never get there. Just like in Pacman, when you hit one level, another emerges. When you figure something out, life or leadership throws you another curveball. And just when you get your barrings in leadership, life knocks you down, or vice versa. 

This challenge of the continuous state of change and flux is where The Training Library community comes in. Unfortunately, leadership can be a very lonely place. The higher up the hierarchy you climb, the fewer people by your side and often an even smaller list of those that you trust or should be trusting.


So, who do you talk to?

• when you've had enough
• when you are frustrated with the person above you or 
• when you are wondering if it's time to move on? 

Not having anyone leaves you floundering and even more unstable.


It's time to find your place to belong!

Masters don't get to the top by themselves. They have a group of people they train with. They have leaders, peers and mentors. 
Masters practice outside of the arena.
Before they need them, masters build their skills in the safety of the dojo. 


Where are you training?
> With who?
> Do you have a routine, systems and habits for learning, practicing and then integrating all that you have learned about how to lead with confidence, integrity and impact?
> If not, where will you get that?
Perhaps you'll choose The Training Library.


So what's new?
Just a logo. Just a tagline. Nothing spectacular. 


But what is spectacular is that this may be just the reminder you need to see your leadership training and growth journey differently.

1. If you are wondering where you land on the journey from apprentice to master, check out this free worksheet. 
2. And if you are ready to work on mastering your leadership, join The Training Library here.

A gentle reminder to do the inner work!

The inner work that I speak about often is the work of reflection, journaling, practicing, strategizing and making the hard but right decisions because you know in your heart that it's right. That's the work you can get help with inside The Training Library. 


Mastering your confidence begins with creating a plan to move from Apprentice to Master. Take time to complete this guide to understand what you need to do to start the journey of mastering your confidence.