Are you scared of someone on your board? Maybe not scared. Perhaps they make you very uncomfortable, or for whatever reason, there's tension.

Keep reading. I've got some help coming your way!

Brenda's Board Challenge
In a recent call, Brenda asked for coaching on an upcoming board meeting. Brenda told me that she hated board meetings because one of the board members was nasty to Brenda when she did Brenda's performance appraisal ten years ago. Brenda still remembers she felt attacked by that board member. 

Since then, Brenda doesn't trust the board member and indicates they have a tenuous relationship. Brenda struggles to work with this board member effectively.

Brenda got some coaching
In our coaching conversation, I asked her about that performance appraisal. Brenda indicated the issue on that performance appraisal was something that she wished she'd handled differently. She realized now that she has grown a lot since then.

Brenda accesses her inner wisdom
By utilizing The Inner Guidance Cycle, by coming to coaching to PAUSE and then PONDER, Brenda realized her thoughts were full of an old storyline. 

• Brenda had an old belief: The board member doesn't think I'm competent. 
• Brenda's perspective was: The board member doesn't like me. 
• Brenda's judgement was: I don't trust the board member. 

Brenda also became more aware of her body sensations. Brenda would tense up any time she had to engage with this board member.

Brenda realized she was feeling incompetent and lacked confidence every time she had to talk to that person. 

In the PONDER step of the Inner Guidance System Brenda looked at her thoughts, feelings and body sensations as indicators of what was going on, Brenda increased her self-awareness. 

Brenda's new awareness was that she'd been holding onto old hurts, old stories, and past conflict. Brenda realized that she had not allowed her relationship with her board member to grow and move past that incident 10 years ago.

Brenda found new perspectives
Once Brenda identified the old patterns of thoughts and feelings, we started looking at different perspectives, and Brenda was able to PIVOT 

• I have a lot more skills than I did back then. 
• I am quite capable, competent and effective at my job. 
• I learned a lot from my past mistakes and often handle the situation differently and more effectively now.

Brenda felt lighter and more confident
By the end of our coaching call, Brenda was ready to PROCEED. She had a new mindset around this particular board member.

• Brenda and I prepared talking points so she could go bravely into a conversation about the current challenge feeling increased confidence and certainly lighter without all of that old baggage.

Your turn: Do you avoid someone on your board?
If you've ever avoided board conversations or have a challenging member, you are not alone. My guest on this week's podcast, Heather Terrence, says we all know boards can be a little bit sticky. 

That doesn't mean you should avoid some of those more challenging members or those difficult conversations. In fact, you must address tough conversations!

As Heather says in our podcast, it's your job to liaise between the organization and the board, and thus it's your job to address difficult conversations.

Help to have those Brave Board Conversations!
You can learn more about strategies that Heather suggests to have Brave Board Conversations in this week's podcast. You'll also find that Heather shares a link to her board governance checklist. If you want support with your board, certainly check out the services that Heather offers here.

If you want help working through The Inner Guidance Cycle with a current challenge, review the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle here. For coaching to help you move through the steps, book a call here.

Let it go!
Stop carrying around all that old hurt, pain and frustration! It's not helping you enjoy impactful leadership...nor is it helping you be the best leader you can be! As someone famous says....Let it go!!

You may need to change what you are thinking!
The thing that Divya was missing, and that I am guessing you might be missing is that to achieve a goal, you need to not just look at the outcome you desire and the strategy that you will use to get there but that you will also look at what mindset shifts you need to make.

The Goal: Reduce hours working
The Outcome: Increased work-life balance
The Strategy: To delegate more
The Mindset Shift: Delegating helps not just me, but my managers and our team
​

The Goal: Reduce hours working
The Outcome: Increased work-life balance
The Strategy: To delegate more
The Mindset Shift: Delegating helps not just me, but my managers and our team
Daily Habit: Note where I delegated, thought about delegating or struggled to delegate and what my thought was about that

It's your turn!
Take time to work through your goals for the upcoming quarter. Notice I don't say for the year. A year is a bit long to really do the deep dive work here. You can set annual goals, and you should. But then break them down to how you will work on that goal each quarter.

More Help

1. Set your quarterly goals with the help of this webinar in The Training Library.
2. Become a member of The Training Libary here for ongoing help with your personal and professional development
3. Book a 1-1 coaching call here
4. Listen to this week's podcast: Goal Creation Magic​

Make this year the year to achieve some remarkable leadership goals!
Remeber, there is more to goal setting than just writing a sentence down. Also, strong leaders develop their own personal and professional goals AND work on them! Please don't assume your performance appraisal goals are enough. There are likely more details that need flushing out to help you truly feel more confident, composed and comfortable leading with integrity!

If you need help with that, message me here!

It's time to take stock
Regardless of what's happened, as each year comes to a close, most of us take stock. 

• What happened that we want to mark in some way? 
• What do we want to bury and forget? 
• What lessons can we take with us into the coming year?

You may do some of this reflection in bits and spurts throughout the coming days. That's a good start. Talk to those around you as well. What's been meaningful, hard or joy-filled for them? 


Set time aside for intentional reflection
I also encourage you to do a bit more of a formal review of your year. Without sitting down being intentional about it, you'll miss opportunities to see where and how you've grown. Snippets of reflection may leave you hopping over key lessons or significant moments of happiness, pride, joy and connection.


I strongly encourage you to find an hour in the coming days to review 2020. If you can, take out a piece of paper, a journal or a document on your computer. Note key areas you want to review and then take some notes. ​

Practically how do you do this?
👉You slow things down. 
👉You'll allow space for frustration and disappointment in conversations about the pain and agony. 
👉You acknowledge the emotions rather than trying to push them away. 

EXERCISE: Try this with your team
On this week's podcast, I talk about looking back over 2020. If you're looking for an exercise to do with your team to help acknowledge all of the rainbow of emotions that have happened, get them to listen to the podcast.

First, ask them to reflect on the questions I offer in the episode such as:

• Where have I grown?
• What or who has help that growth?
• What implications does that change in me have for next year?

There are lots more questions I threw into the mix in the episode.

Next, sit down and discuss the answers together. Remember to allow and acknowledging what you have all been through how you've grown as a team.

Then, when the emotions have been acknowledged...smile and gently bring on the positivity...if the time is right!

Are you managing all of that with composure? Kara wasn’t!
 
When Kara called yesterday, she was vibrating with anger. As she discharged her furry, I knew her heart was racing, and her blood was hammering through her veins.
 
For several minutes at the beginning of our coaching call, Kara spewed forth a myriad of legit complaints, frustrations and indignations. She had every right to be angry. As I heard the story, I could feel my fury building too!
 
Stress has been rising for everyone. The pressure is building around us and closing in.

• Decisions are being made quickly in some cases.
  • Not quick enough in others.
• Some decisions we agree with.
  • Others we vehemently disagree with.
• The way some people are handling things is just plain wrong.
  • Others have no options, and we can only feel for them as they do what is necessary,

 
You are in the middle of it. It's nuts. Crazy. Saying it is stressful doesn't even cut it. In many cases, it's about life and death. It's about yours and the people around you, livelihood.
 
So, it makes sense that you would be soooooooo angry at times; you are about to explode! But you can't blow. Well, you can, but first, it's not going to be pretty. Second, it's not what those around you need.
They need you to be composed.
 
Another leader I talked to yesterday couldn't stop crying. She was devastated. She feels helpless. Each of us can only do so much. Those that care for the vulnerable sector have to keep going. In other programs, it is clear it is time to cease operations. So clients have no service and employees have no work. The leader, perhaps that's you, feels helpless, hopeless, and crushed.
But your team doesn't need you weeping uncontrollably.

Your team needs you to be composed.
 
And then there is fear. We all feel it. It hangs in every conversation. Fear screams from the grocery stores. Social media reeks of fear.
But your team, your loved ones, don't need you reacting with mad fear.
​
They need you to be composed.
 
Anger
Hopelessness
Fear
 
These are real emotions that you will be feeling now, along with a zillion others. It's not the emotions that are "wrong." It's how you deal with them.
 
You need to be angry.

• However, you need to be mad at the right times and with the right people in the right way.

 
Hopelessness will enter your space again and again. 

• However, you can't hang on to it and spew it to those around you. You need to notice that feeling of hopelessness and then move it along. It's not going to help you or the people who need you.

 
We are in a time of great fear

• However, we are not talking about a fear of public speaking or a fear of addressing a lingering conflict. We fear for our lives, our client's lives, our mothers, children and friends. It's not the fear that is the problem. It's what you do with that fear that is.

 
The question is NOT: How do I shut my emotions off?
The question IS: How do I manage my intense emotions and still maintain my composure during a pandemic?

1) Create a safe time and space to release emotions.
If you don't release it, you will explode or implode. You can not continue to let it build and build.

• Yell in your car.
• Pour it out into a journal.
• Scream when no one is home.
• Go for a run and pump it out of your body.
• Call your coach, mentor, counsellor or therapist.
• Talk to a friend, partner or peer who will let you release it safely.

 
Author Rick Warren suggests that we "vent vertically." Prayer doesn't need to be sweet and kind. Feel free to tell the big guy/gal what you really think! That's part of strong faith. Release it all to God. 
 
When you let off steam, it will take the pressure off and help you to be composed when you need it.
 
2) Take care of yourself
Yes, this is a crazy stressful time. AND more than ever, you need rest, healthy food, sunshine, movement in your body and something to feed your soul. You need to breathe in a way that releases the adrenalin surging through your body. When you use your breath to settle your nerves and calm down your raging emotions, you will be able to respond, rather than react. 
 
Taking care of yourself and using your breath to regulate your emotions will help you to be composed.
 
3) Be honest, but composed
You are angry, feeling hopeless and fearful. It's ok to say that. It's ok to feel that. Pretending to be otherwise will make you feel inauthentic, and the people around you will feel that and lose faith in you. 
Here are some examples of how to be honest:

• I'm angry that we lack resources for our clients because of people's rash actions AND here is the plan for how we will deal with this.
• I feel hopeless, YET know that's not what we all need right now. This is what I am doing to build up our hope and optimism again.
• Yes, I'm afraid. I'M ALSO educating myself and the team. We have activated our crisis management plan and are talking with other agencies in the same situation to figure out how we can navigate this crisis together.

 
If your tears flow or you speak with managed anger or fear, that's ok.
 
That's not a lack of composure. That's anger, hopelessness and fear flowing out of you.
 
When you allow them to leave your chest, heart and head safely, you make room for compassion, hope and courage, which is precisely what you, your team, your loved ones and the world needs more than ever!

Click here to review the 3 steps for dealing with complainers.
 
In that video, I shared a bonus step in that article and want to highlight it today. After you've encouraged the complainer to take responsibility for impacting change, the bonus step was to ask:

• How can I hold you accountable in a way that won't come across as nagging, negative or micromanaging?

 
Remember, it won't work!
Before I jump into that bonus step, I want to remind you that the three steps and the bonus step won't make your employee stop complaining.
 
To make a lasting difference in your employee's behaviour, you need to create a habit of responding in this way  Once won't cut it.
 
To make it work, do this:
To create that habit, you first need to practice this new way of interacting with them. Your practice needs to be what is called deliberate practice. By deliberately practicing new ways of interacting that may feel weird and awkward, you are developing yourself outside of your comfort zone.
 
If your habitual way of responding when someone complains is to sigh, remind them the same thing you told them 10x before and then answer the question for them, they won't change. They won't change, because you haven't changed either!
 
Be patient with the process!
As you learn to hold them accountable for their part of things they can impact, they will learn to take responsibility for changing their situation.
 
But it all takes time.
It also takes a lot of patience - yours!
 
In time, your team members will become more responsible
To grow and change the culture of your team from one where people tend to complain more than they take responsibility, you will need to work at improving your behaviour, individuals behaviours and your team vibe or culture.
 
A powerful way to cultivate that type of change within your team is to create a growth mindset atmosphere. When everyone on your team is committed to self-improvement, growth and development, your team will grow and mature.
 
This will help you avoid a toxic work culture
Too many teams stay stuck in old ways that lead to toxic workplaces if you aren't careful. Ineffective patterns of communication, unproductive meeting styles and inadequate use of resources leave people frustrated. Discontent people lead to complaining, gossiping and will have your good people looking for a new job fast!
 
As the leader, you set the tone in your workplace
To make sure that doesn't happen to you, install a growth mindset culture. That's one where everyone is committed to learning, growing and developing themselves. You are the one to set the tone for that type of workplace culture.
 
Build in accountability
This brings me back to the bonus step when you are dealing with complainers. Not only do you need to ask them what you can do to hold them accountable, but you also need to hold yourself accountable.

• How will you ensure that you keep practicing outside of your comfort zone?
• What will you do to ensure you create a habit of interacting with complainers in this new way?

 
Here is the thing to put on your AGENDA
I'm suggesting using your team meeting agenda to hold everyone, including yourself accountable!
 
Yes, the agenda.
 
The title of this post was "Quick, put this on your agenda." That is because I am encouraging you to put individual growth and development on the agendas of your staff meetings.
 
This will take time. Yes, I am repeating myself!
I also want to caution you that this is a long-range strategy. One that will take a bit of time to implement and will morph as you go. But that is entirely the point.
 
Commit to ongoing growth for you and your team
Leadership is an ongoing growth journey. Commit now to ongoing personal and professional development, deliberate practice and patience. As you do all of that, you will develop your growth mindset and strengthen your leadership capacity.
 
Back to the team meeting agenda strategy:
Get rid of the things on your agenda items that could be an email. When you do, you will make time for cultivating a growth mindset on your team.
 
Here's how to do it
Have everyone give a 1-2 min report out on what they are learning, how they are growing, or what skill they are developing in themselves.

• Use a timer. Seriously!!!!

Keep it short and quick as you do your round table. After, you could have a 3-5 min debrief but also encourage team members to connect outside of the meeting if they have more questions.
 
An example:
You could share these examples when you introduce the concept:

• Sally: I'm working on improving my time management skills, so I am reading Getting Things Done by David Allen. I've learned that I can't keep everything in my head, so I'm working on creating a system to get it out of my head in a safe place I know I will come back to daily.

 

• Jennifer: I'm building my skills as a fundraiser, but don't have a lot of time. I'm looking for fundraising podcasts to listen to when I'm commuting. If anyone has any, please share it with me.

 

• Dean: I'm finding we have clients who are still struggling with their employment. I'm doing an online course that's about supporting clients to find work. I have a few resources from the class that some of you might be interested in using. Feel free to ask me about them after.

 
How does all of this help you practice?
 
Remember, I said this exercise would morph.
 
Start gently
Initially, you may keep your growth updates to safe topics such as you are attending a conference.
 
Then step outside of your comfort zone!
Over time, though, you may become braver. You then may courageously note what you are working on that is more personal development related. When you do this, you'll set the stage for others as your team adopts the growth mindset and builds trust.
 
For example, in time, you might say:

• YOU: I'm working on helping each of you strengthen your critical thinking skills. Rather than solving problems for you, I'll be encouraging you to make more decisions when appropriate. As such, you'll find that more frequently, I'll redirect you when you come to me. I'm asking for your patience with me as we learn this new way of communicating together.

 
It's by using your team's agenda to do updates on personal and professional growth that you'll hold yourself accountable.
 
Ahhhh...making sense now?

In a nutshell:
Leading in a new way takes practice.
Practice takes time.
Practicing over time takes patience.
But it's all sooooo worth it when you have the impact you desire, your team grows, and you all do the work to change that part of the world, that you were meant to change!
 
One final reminder:
Ongoing personal and professional development is your path to success in both leadership and life! #growthmindset
 
To hear more about putting this staff development strategy into action, watch this video.

3 tips for dealing with complainers:
Let me refresh your memory. When someone on your team is complaining, I suggested you try these three things:
 
1) Acknowledge their pain
Genuinely, with compassion and empathy, acknowledge how what they are complaining about is affecting them.
 
2) Ask them about their desired outcome.
Instead of focusing on the problem and whose fault it is, help them to focus on what outcome they want for everyone.
 
3) Ask them what action THEY can take to move towards that outcome.
When they point to someone else, gently bring them back, reminding them that "You can't change others. You can only change yourself." So even if they want someone to take a different action, help them see how they could positively influence someone's behaviour.
 
BONUS STEP: Ask them: How can I hold you accountable in a way that won't come across as nagging, negative or micromanaging?
 
Your response
Some of you replied to me with: That didn't work, Kathy!
 
Others responded with: That worked once, but they keep complaining! If it's not about this, then it's about something else. It is as if they look for something to complain about.
 
Trust me! I hear you. I have those people in my life and on my team too! They can zap my energy if I let them! The key point here (and the one I made last week) is that I can be response-able for the way things impact me.
 
But before I finish that thought, let me go back to my crappy advice.
 
Why my advice didn't work
If my advice didn't work, it's because I forgot to share the second half of the puzzle: What do you do when it redirecting a complainer doesn't work?
 
Of course, it won't work! Here's why:
Let me be completely transparent. Most of the time, what I suggested to you above won't work. At least not initially.
 
You and that team member have created a habitual way of interacting.

• They complain.
• You roll your eyes - maybe only inside your mind
• You answer with sarcasm, appease them, ignore their comment, or do whatever it is you usually do that doesn't change their behaviour.

And the cycle continues.

You have to be patient and consistent
We know change takes time. To elicit a consistent new response from your employee will require repeated different responses for you.
 
If you follow my suggestions, you will be practicing a new way of interacting. The problem is, it's soooooooooo easy to return to the default mode after one or two tries of doing something differently.
 
You can't try once and stop
But, once isn't enough to cut it.

• One salad does not make you a healthy eater.
• One trip to the gym doesn't make you lose weight.
• And it's a good thing we didn't all stop in grade one.

 
Strong Leadership = Continuous growth and development
Leadership is about growth and development. It is a continual exercise of learning, failing and getting back up and practicing again.
 
We won't master new ways of communicating and influencing our team by trying something out once! Mastery comes with practice. A lot of practice! In fact, to master something, science has shown you need to invest 10,000 hours of deliberate practice. That means not practicing something you already know how to do, but practicing something you don't know how to do. That something is often way outside of your comfort zone.
 
It's time for you to respond with practice
So to change your staff's behaviour, you need to change the way you lead. This comes back to being response-able. You can respond to their complaints in a different way. But to entirely overall that relationship (they complain, you roll your eyes…), you'll need to practice responding consistently in a different way.
 
Are you committed to ongoing growth and development?
It's time to practice that! It's about mastering a new way of leading. This takes time and a commitment to ongoing personal and professional development.
 
To get a better handle on where you are and what you need to work on as you move towards mastery, read this article. Then grab the guide sheet to identify where you are on the continuum of apprentice to master. On the page, you will also find two videos to deepen your understanding of the path to becoming a masterful leader.

I'm here to guide you on this journey!
You can do it! I’m here to help you. So as always, if you have any questions or need guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out.
 
Do you need a roadmap to guide your journey?
If you are ready to commit to intentional and consistent growth and development, join The Training Library. Inside pick the courses you need to take to grow your skills. Then systematically work through the lessons, bit by bit! Five minutes here and 15 minutes there, will fast track your journey towards mastery! I'll be there with you every step of the way!
 
Commit, my dear, to being in it for the long haul! Some days will be challenging. Knowing you are growing and expanding your capacity makes those days worthwhile!

• She talks about what she wants but waits for it to happen, and it doesn't.
• She indicates how things could be different, but she blames her current circumstances on others.
• She complains about how things are, yet does nothing to change them. In her mind, it's someone else's fault; someone else needs to do something; someone else is responsible for why her life sucks.

 
Ugh! I want to shake her and say:

• You can change your life!
• You can have a different experience.
• You can do things that will bring about a change to your circumstances.

 
I've tried to help:
I have encouraged her, coached her and given her tons of resources that will help her start turning her life around.
 
However, she won't take it:
Instead of utilizing those resources, she sits in her pity party, belly aching and complaining about others, blaming them and waiting for them to change.
 
You can lead a horse 🐴 to water,
but you can't make them drink.

So….my mantra has become:
I am not going to give up my happy because you can't find your happy!
 
I became responsible for my happiness
I'm taking responsibility for my life and my experiences, even though she chooses not to.

• I've set boundaries around my contact with her.
• I have limited my exposure to her news feed.
• I continue to do the inner work to let go of her drama and toxicity.

 
I also recognize I do the same thing
This experience has been a great reminder to me of where I, too, put myself in that place of complaining and belly aching. What about you? Like me, do you sometimes have your own pity party?

Do you wait as I do?
Women like us are strong, capable and confident, except when we aren't. If you are like most women and like me, there are places we show up full of courage and determination.

• Then, there are other places where we play small, hide, step back into the shadows, avoid people and wait for things to change.

 
We wait, blame and finger point...at least I do
Can you think of any areas in your life where you are doing that?
 
I can! I can see where I wait for someone else to "do it with me" for the money to "do it" for the time to "fit it in" or for the person to get out of my way, so I can "do it."

Let me give you some examples
EXAMPLE # 1
I've spent the last year looking for places that might interview me for podcasts, but have found few that "fit" me. However, the truth is, when I pause and ponder, I see different perspectives and realize that it is just an excuse.

• The truth is, I'm afraid to put my ideas out there.

 
EXAMPLE # 2
Another example is where I've wanted to remodel my daughter's bedroom and turn it into my den. She moved out almost a year ago. But, it wasn't the right time to do the renovations. We didn't have time, and of course, she might move back. Then, I didn't have my husband's help, and it would cost money.

• These are all stories I've made up to put the blame out there because I'm still working through the empty nest feeling.

 
EXAMPLE # 3
Here is another way I've not taken responsibility: There is a person on my team who isn't pulling their weight. They only show up for some meetings. But they are always unprepared. What's more, when you ask them to take on a task, they say they will. But you can bet there is a 90% chance they won't do it, and someone else will have to pick up the pieces.
 
And what have I done about it? Nothing! I complain. I hope they will change. I wait. Waiting leaves me feeling like a victim of their incompetence, their insensitivity to others and their lack of commitment. And that sucks!

• I'm struggling to find the courage to address their performance.

 
When we don't take responsibility, we become victims
When we become victims, we feel powerless. At times, we try to force things, push people and make them do something, so our lives and situations are better. We try to have power over them. That creates more tension and turmoil.
 
We need to take our power back...our inner power!
Instead of feeling like a victim, we need to take our power back. We need to become responsible for what's going on.
 
I call it response-able.
It means we are able to respond.
 
Too often, women like us feel like there is nothing we can do about it. We wait, hope and pray things will change. We moan and groan to whoever will listen (my poor hubby!)
 
But when we take our inner power back, we gain the confidence, courage to become response-able to make changes in our lives, on our teams and in the world.
 
Take control of your thoughts
Our thoughts create our worlds. I can spend time getting angry and frustrated with that individual in my life that is driving me nuts.
Or

• I can take responsibility for my mood. I can remind myself that I'm not going to give up my happy because you can't find yours, and move on to other thoughts.

 
I can feel like there is no place to share my ideas on podcasts that "fit" me.
Or

• I can take responsibility for my thoughts. By believing there are podcasts that fit me, I'll continue to look for them. And, I could create my own podcast …hmm…there's an idea! What do you think? Should I create my own podcast?

 
I can wait for the right time, help etc. to redecorate my daughter's room.
Or

• I can become response-able for making it happen by creating a budget, a timeline to get it done and recruit the help I need.

 
I can wait for that person on my team to change.
Or

• I can do the work to gather the courage to have what could be a difficult conversation with that member on my team. I could become response-able by starting with the One Page Journaling exercise.
  
  

Where do you need to become response-able?
Instead of feeling powerless, become response-able.

• Take responsibility for the situation.
• Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions.
  
  

Became Response-ABLE!

• DO NOT wait for someone else to change.
• DO NOT hope someone will tell you what to do.
• DO NOT wait for it to be the right time.
• DO change your thoughts and behaviours.
• DO decide what you can do.
• DO create the time for it.

 
If you need some help with this  learn more about becoming response-able here. You will also find a worksheet to help you take back your inner power here.
 
In case you haven't figured it out yet you teach your team to take responsibility when you role model it to them :-)

To make those resources even more effective, take a moment to step into Cindy’s kitchen….
 
Imagine a young girl, Cindy is in the kitchen with her grandma, who is teaching Cindy how to bake buns. Cindy hopes to learn how to make buns that the whole family raves about as they do her grandmas.
 
As the older lady hovers over Cindy’s shoulder, she guides Cindy through the process.

• Do you see how you’re measuring cup is heaping with flour? Take your knife and level it off first.
• A good thing to remember is to take your eggs out of the fridge an hour before. Here’s why…
• Let me show you a couple of ways to knead the dough, and you can see which you like better.
• Here is a tip to always remember when you are letting your buns rise…
• This is how you know when the buns are done …

 
Yet, after all that guidance, Cindy’s buns flop!
What the heck!
 
Cindy then...
Go back to that movie in your mind of the scene in the kitchen. Look a little closer at Cindy as she was being taught how to bake. Did you notice she had earplugs in her ears? As her grandma was teaching, mentoring and coaching her, Cindy never heard a word her grandma said! Cindy just did it her way.
If you could get into Cindy’s head, you may have even heard her say: Hurry up, Grandma, I’ve got things to do outside!
 
It’s no wonder Cindy struggled to learn how to bake stellar buns!

Cindy now...
Cindy now leads a team of frontline workers in a small nonprofit. Instead of trying to figure out how to bake buns, Cindy is currently struggling with team meetings.
 
Each go-around, Cindy brings her agenda and stacks of handouts to the meeting. As she works her way through the items, the room is relatively quiet. No one participates. They don’t volunteer ideas or add value to the conversation. Team members don’t offer to help out when she asks for volunteers, so Cindy assigns tasks.
 
When Cindy gets to the sensitive topics, she feels everyone tense up, and Cindy prays that no one will push back today as has happened during the past.
 
Cindy hopes things will change
Each go-around, Cindy goes in, hoping something will be different.

• She prays that the employees will be more motivated to be involved.
• She wishes the team members would be more enthusiastic.
• She longs to have them be way more effective.

 
But nothing changes. After the meeting, Cindy tosses her stack of notes on her desk and lets out a sigh. Another one done. Cindy doesn’t have to worry about team meetings again until the next one.
 
Hope without action is futile!
Here’s the problem, if Cindy wants something different, she needs to do something different.
 
If Cindy desires increased team engagement, buy-in and action, she would need to change something she is doing. Last week, we talked about hoping things change. And we learned that without action, hope is futile. Hope alone won’t make the difference.
 
Are you like Cindy?
Cindy is like many women leaders. They don’t take the time to learn new things. Despite tons of resources, guides, coaches and mentors available to them, many leaders tune the learning opportunities out.
 
I get it...Nonprofits are tough!
Nonprofits are notorious for being crisis-driven. There is always something demanding your attention. If it isn’t a client crisis, it’s team drama, the fundraising event, a shortage of staff, proposal or grant writing, year-end or accreditation time. Stress, busyness and crises never end.
 
2 beliefs that don't help
Therefore, most women leaders believe they don’t have the time to step back and learn how to run better meetings, create more engaged employees, improve team culture or find improved work-life balance.
 
What’s more, they often don’t believe nonprofit specific resources and training are readily available.
 
Let me provide insight on both of those points.
1) You won’t find the time. You need to make time.
What’s more, it won’t take a lot of time, just intentionality.
 
2) There are a plethora of nonprofit resources available.
There is no lack of training, books, courses, blogs, podcasts, trainers, coaches or mentors available to nonprofit leaders. But if the podcast is never listened to or the course never worked on, you won’t learn.
 
If you don’t invest the time (action) to learn and then the energy to practice (more action), all the hope in the world won’t change the outcome of your team meetings.
 
To improve your team meetings, you need to do 3 things:

1) Take responsibility for improving your team meetings.
No more waiting, hoping or blaming.
 
2) Commit to growing yourself.
In this week’s video I talked about how to think your way to thriving. In the video you will learn how to use your growth mindset to organize your learning and growth.
 
3) Add action to your hope.
Start with the resources below.
 
When you commit to ongoing personal and professional development you’ll find more success leading highly engaged and effective teams.
 
Oh, and bonus….you’ll be happier!
 
Do you want to be more focused and intentional about your growth and development? Join me on Feb. 20th for this month's webinar: Develop Your Personalized Curriculum for Leadership Development
 
15 resources to help you run better team meetings 

​Beth Kanter’s Blog

1. Step-by-Step Guide: Nonprofit Strolling Meetings
2. Running Effective Virtual #Nonprofit Meetings: 9 Best Practices for Facilitating Engagement

 
The Small Nonprofit Podcast

1. Better Meetings with Rebecca Sutherns

 
Me on…The Meeting Leadership Podcast

1. How To Control Your Emotions In A Meeting
2. How Leaders Can Remain Calm During Heated Meetings

 
Blogs post on my website

1. How to feel wicked confident running your next staff meeting
2. 5 ways to increase employee engagement in meetings
3. Are you doing your part to inspire those around you?

 
My book

1. Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system

 
Webinars in The Training Library that will help you run better meetings:

1. Staying composed during that next meeting, conversation or event
2. Confidently boost the morale of your team
3. How to deal with OFFICE POLITICS with calm confidence
4. How to preparing for a Tough Talk so you can handle it with integrity
5. Quick journaling for effective leadership

 
Courses in the Training Library that will help you run better meetings

1. Emotional control by expanding your emotional vocabulary