Women leading nonprofit organizations know that leading with authenticity is at the core of effective leadership, or maybe they don't!

In a world where we often feel the need to armour up, put on masks, and present facades, embracing our true selves can be terrifying and also a transformative experience.

In my work, I teach four fundamentals of leadership. Let me cover them quickly here so you can create a plan to lead more effectively and feel good about yourself when you do!​

​True leaders empower those around them to embrace authenticity, continuous growth, and self-care. It starts with you, though. You can only teach it effectively if you do it. But when you do help others to unmask, develop, and care for themselves, it creates an engaged culture of loyal team members.

​Yes, we need to manage them, but inspiring leaders do more than that! Effective leaders learn to motivate, coach and mentor their team members.

​That's the work of Teaching Others to Do the Same.
​

If you want to discover how to excel in leadership, explore how you can strengthen those fundamental strategies in how you lead. 

You'll learn more in the podcast series Invest in Your Leadership Excellence. 

• The first episode in the series is here: Women leaders - Why you need to invest in your personal and professional development. 

LISTEN NOW!
 Remember to subscribe on whichever channel is your favourite so you don't miss all 4 episodes in the series. 

• iTunes
• Spotify
• YouTube

Remember, leadership is not just a position, title or hat you put on when you show up at work each day. 
Leadership is a journey of self-discovery and growth. 
It is a personal growth journey! 

Embrace your authenticity, invest in your development, prioritize self-care, and lead with excellence and in a way that feels good!

Do the inner work! It's worth it!
p.s. If you want help doing the inner work so you can grow both personally and professionally, join The Training Library today!

When Sandra came to our coaching call, she was preparing for a meeting with the Executive Director about her performance. Sandra was dreading the meeting. She knew her boss would make her feel stupid, small and even scared.

•  The meeting was supposed to help Sandra in her role.
•  The intention was that it would give her the support, guidance and assistance that Sandra needs to excel.

 
But that's not how Sandra anticipated the meeting was really going to go down!

Ever since Sandra's boss had scheduled the meeting, Sandra had been rolling around the worst-case scenario in her mind. She imagined being fired on the spot, being raked over the coals and being belittled, berated and bullied. Hence, the knot in her stomach!

It's no wonder Sandra was dreading the meeting! Past meetings had not gone well. Most of what Sandra feared had happened in the past. 

• Sandra's boss would pick at her weaknesses
• They would identify what Sandra is doing wrong.
• How they communicated would be blunt, cold and unfeeling.

​Just because that is how Sandra's ED has communicated in the past does not mean that Sandra has to believe it means she is incompetent or not cut out for leadership.
 
Sandra can choose to pick between the well-intentioned but still hurtful comments and find out what's valuable in between those comments.

​Whether it is this conversation with her boss or another, Sandra gets to decide how she will proactively continue to grow and develop in her nonprofit leadership role.

If Sandra chose to see herself as flawed, she would take these kinds of comments to heart. Imposter Syndrome would take over, and the knot in her stomach would grow to a tightening in her chest. Sandra could see how her thoughts could snowball:

• I don't know how to do all of this work without overtime.
• I've never been good at managing my time.
• I've never been an organized person.
• I'm not leadership material.

Sandra knew she didn't want to go down that path. ​

I invited Sandra to PAUSE, and take a breath. I asked what might happen if she chose to hear the messages differently. Sandra PONDERed and considered the comments above and then what else might be true:

• I've been working hard to do a good job and putting in the extra effort.
• I'm a committed employee.
• I care about my job and my team!
• Yes, the overtime is killing me. I DO want to reduce it! Not because my boss is telling me to, but because I want to figure leadership out and have a life!

This new perspective allowed her to see herself as competent and always learning and growing.

Sandra then used curiosity to PIVOT to new thoughts:

• Where can I learn more about time management as a leader?
• What could I be doing differently, delegating or deciding quicker?

Sandra knew she wanted to learn to manage her time better and find more time for the rest of her life! She knew those new thoughts would help her courageously PROCEED into the conversation with her boss with a confident mindset.
 
Instead of feeling beaten down by taking time to move through the Inner Guidance Cycle, Sandra felt back in control. She was ready to take the core of the feedback (too much overtime) and hear it for what it is—Feedback.

By knowing she has control of her thoughts, choosing how to hear messages and intentionally choosing not to take things personally in the meeting but focus on the content, Sandra lessened the emotional charge going into the meeting.  ​

​I reminded Sandra that feeling confident in a meeting isn't about what someone else says or thinks. Sandra smiled and nodded. She's been reading Mastering Confidence. I know, she said, it's what I believe.

What you believe about yourself is what matters most. I asked Sandra:

• Do YOU believe you can learn?
• Do YOU believe you can grow and develop?
• Do YOU believe you have the potential to be an extraordinary leader?

She wholeheartedly answered yes to each of the questions. 
I reminded Sandra that if she believes those things, the tone with which her boss shares those messages in that meeting is less relevant than the content and what she chooses to hear, believe and take action on.

While feeling more confident, Sandra was still worried about being triggered and losing composure in the meeting. Sandra wanted to prepare to stay composed in her talk with her ED. She'd recently reviewed the webinar: How to Prepare for a Tough Talk so you can handle it with integrity in The Training Library. She'd learned the power of being prepared for getting triggered with If/Then plans. She asked if I could help her prepare an If/Then plan in case she got triggered.

Sandra already knew what kind of comments might trigger her and cause her to lose her composure. 

• If they call me emotional, I know it will make me feel like crying right there in the meeting. I'll feel threatened, vulnerable and insecure.

We prepared her If/Then plan and she practiced saying her response. 

•  IF she calls me emotional, THEN I will take a slow, deep breath, even if she's waiting for me to respond. After a deep breath, I'll say:
  •  My emotions are powerful guides to my work, and I am working on maintaining my composure and managing my emotions. Thanks for reminding me that I still have work to do!

​Sandra was still nervous but felt way more confident and in control of her responses! She messaged me later and said the meeting was still hard, but she left feeling in control of herself,  her responses and her future.

​As a nonprofit leader, podcasts can be a fabulous asset to your growth and development. 

Do you listen to podcasts? I sure do. Podcasts are a great way to get updates, information, knowledge and often a good chuckle!

​I started my podcast, The Surviving to Thriving Podcast, in 2020. After 92 episodes, I took a summer break to rethink how to produce it best for you. I am working on a new 8-episode series to help you invest in your development. Stay tuned for a release date coming soon!

Listening to podcasts can be valuable for personal and professional growth and leadership development. Below are five podcasts I regularly listen to and a favourite episode from each.

​You'll notice that not all the podcasts are related to leadership. Listening to podcasts not directly related to leadership can offer tons of benefits for you. Here's why you might listen to them:

Many challenges you face in leadership are complex and multifaceted. Exploring different topics and interests can expand your perspective, which is crucial for effective leadership. It helps you see the bigger picture and can provide fresh approaches to problem-solving. 

If you are working through a problem and hit the PONDER part of the Inner Guidance Cycle, listening to something not directly to leadership may open you up to seeing new perspectives. ​

​Leaders often deal with a high level of responsibility. Podcasts unrelated to work can serve as a mental break, preventing burnout. Listening to podcasts about hobbies, mindfulness, or more fiction styles can help you unwind and reduce stress. 

Some say true crime podcasts do that for them. I am definitely not one of them!

Investing time into listening to podcasts can be a powerful means of self-improvement, offering a wealth of insights, motivation, and support for your leadership journey.

​Dachner Kelter on awe, humility and purpose
Dachner is also the host of The Science of Happiness podcast I listed above.

Let me know which podcast you listen to and what you'd recommend for me. I'm always interested in expanding my podcast listening experience!

p.s. Part of inner work is expanding what you put into your inner sphere. Podcasts are a great way to "Do the inner work!"

Your reputation is how others perceive you based on your actions, behaviours, and the way you interact with them. It's essentially the image you project to the outside world. Your reputation can be influenced by your conduct, what you do and say, and how you treat others. 
​

• Talking about your reputation, someone might say about you, "You can trust her." or conversely, "Don't trust her."

​Character: Your Inner Compass
​Character is who you truly are at your core. It's about your values, morals, and integrity. It's about what you believe in and how you behave when no one is watching. Character is your internal compass, guiding your decisions and actions.

• Talking about your character, someone might say you are trustworthy.

​Character and Reputation go hand-in-hand
​Your reputation is influenced by your character. People, however, have a limited view of you, which can impact their interpretation of you or how they would define your reputation. 

You may be honest in 90% of your life, but if your employee shared something with you in confidence and you told HR about it, and it got back to them, they may deem you untrustworthy based on that one situation.

​Aligning Character and Reputation
Over time, your character shines through in your actions and interactions. The more contact you have with someone, the markers they will have for defining your reputation. The total of your ongoing conduct, actions and behaviours shapes someone's view of you.​

​How to lead with strong character
​To become an authentic and trustworthy leader, it's vital to align your character with your actions. Here's how you can achieve this alignment:

1. Identify Your Values: Start by acknowledging your values and beliefs. Describe the kind of leader you aspire to be and the impact you want to have. This inner work is fundamental to understanding who you are.
2. Be Intentional: Once you've defined the leader you want to be, be intentional about showing up that way. Act in alignment with your self-determined criteria.
3. Consistency Matters: Your character shines through in your actions and interactions over time. The more you engage with someone, the more markers they have for defining your reputation. Consistency in your conduct is key.
4. Reflect on Your Behavior: Regularly ask yourself questions like, "Am I late often?" or "How do I share hard messages?" These insights provide valuable information about how others might describe your character.

​When you live in alignment, your character is solid, and your reputation will reflect that. That alignment, walking your talk, and being who you say you are leads to more authentic and trustworthy leadership.

​Your character is how people describe you. It's the traits that they would attribute to you. It's not what you hope they think of you. Your intentions and conduct are essential for developing your character, but ultimately, your character and reputation are how others describe you. 

• Stubborn
• Positive
• Caring
• Soft
• Bitter
• Narcissistic
• Empathetic
• Approachable

​Take a moment to fill in the blank:

• My boss has a reputation for…
• My board chair is known for…
• You can always trust the head of HR to…
• That employee is famous for…

​Perhaps these are some of the sentence endings you came up with:

• Flying off the handle at meetings
• Not letting people speak
• Interrupting
• Being patient
• Inspiring the team
• Being there when I need them
• Knowing exactly what I need to hear

​Your character is the words others use to describe how they see you and your impact on them. Your conduct is the behaviours and actions others see that they use to assess your character. This includes how you act, interact and engage with others. It is what you say and do as much as what you don't say or don't do.

• Are you late? Often?
• Do you swear? In public?
• Are you decisive or wishy-washy?
• How do you share hard messages?
• When something exciting happens, what can people expect from you?
• What's your default response when things don't go as planned?
• Do you walk into a meeting with checklists, agenda and handouts in hand, ready to get down to business, with a smile on your face or rushed, frazzled and oblivious to everyone in the room?

​Your answers to these questions give insights into how others might describe your character. Each incident, response or action doesn't stand alone. People use a total of all your conduct to assess your character and describe your reputation. Your conduct is not a one-time event.

The Power of Perception

What we often forget, though, is that people's view of us takes into account the good times and bad. You can't be available, sometimes and other times not, without a valid explanation and clear boundaries. In one way, people will see you as "all over the place" and, in the other, as someone with consistent boundaries. 

You can start to get a feel for your reputation and, thus, your character by considering some of the questions above. I've added more sentence starters below to get you thinking about others' reputations and how yours is defined. Try it with other people first, then switch it up to thinking about how people would finish these sentences if asked about you.​

1. Our team lead is consistently great at...
2. When I think of our CFO, I think of...
3. When our CEO faces a challenge, they usually...
4. The Director's strength lies in...
5. Our ED is respected for their ability to...
6. When our operations manager is under pressure, they...
7. When the coordinator is faced with a tough decision, they...
8. The Director is known throughout the organization for...
9. The finance officer is exceptional at...
10. The head of IT is famous for their...
11. Our company's founder is revered for...
12. When the assistant is in charge, you can expect...

​What did you learn? Did you have any ah ha's about your conduct and how it may or may not align with the character you wish to exemplify?

​Your Leadership Journey
If you want to learn more about how to develop your character and lead with your strength of character, here are additional resources for you.
Rebuilding Trust: How to fix your reputationhttps://www.kathyarcher.com/blog/rebuilding-trust-how-to-fix-your-reputation

How and why you MUST lead with your strength of character
​https://www.kathyarcher.com/blog/how-and-why-you-must-lead-with-your-strength-of-character

​Strong, confident and capable leaders are those who are continually learning and growing. Maybe you know that, but if you are like most women, you may be:

• Waiting for someone to approve your training
• Hoping to find funds for your development.
• Wondering how you would fit training into your already busy schedule!

Let me tell you a little secret:

1. You don't need anyone to approve your training or give you permission. You can take training right now to make you a more confident and happier leader. And no one even needs to know!
2. You don't need a ton of time. Some of the best training happens in smaller bites of time. It gives you time to digest and apply it!
3. ​It doesn't have to be costly. You can grow yourself without spending a dime or very little. You will find budget-friendly options below.

Before we get into low-cost ways to learn, let's review why it's so essential that you engage in training and take the time to develop yourself.

You need to make growth mandatory
Growth and development, your personal and professional development, are your paths to success in leadership and how you'll find your way to actually enjoying impactful leadership and life at the same time. Yes, striking that balance of impactful leadership and living a full life outside of work is possible. ​
​
​You must recognize that to do that, you must make learning and growing mandatory.

1 - You'll be stuck in old ways if you don't learn
If you can't remember the last time you read a book, took a course that wasn't required training for the job, or spent a few minutes reflecting on your personal growth lately, you may feel frustrated with your experience of leadership.​
​
You feel crappy because you are stuck with only a few options, tools, or skill sets. As a result, you may be approaching problems with the same mindset and skillset you learned 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Those old ways will not keep you at the forefront of leadership or help you enjoy life.

​​If you ever feel like you're on a hamster wheel, experiencing the same crises and dramas day after day, that might be because you've become stuck or trapped in the same spot. It's like swamp water that doesn't move, and it's why you feel icky.

When your growth & development stagnates, you feel stuck. New training will give you new insights, fresh perspectives, and new tools and thus get you moving, flowing and smelling better.

2 - Your skill set is limited, and you know it
​If you are like many women leaders, you sometimes struggle with imposter syndrome. Instead of feeling competent, capable and confident, you feel:

• Incapable
• Insecure
• Incompetent

​What's more, you hope no one will ever figure out how inadequate you really are.
​
To get out of imposter syndrome, you need the training to feel competent and thus confident! If you aren't getting the training you need, you keep feeling incapable, insecure and incompetent. Ongoing personal & professional development ​is your path to confidence.

How to learn on a limited budget
​
Perhaps your training budget is shot or nonexistent in your organization. Or maybe you don't want to ask for training money. What about paying for it yourself? Let's be honest, we all know your nonprofit income only stretches so far! Yet, we know strong, confident and capable leaders are those who are continually learning and growing. So, how do you do it with limited funds? Check out the options below.

THREE FREE PLACES TO LEARN

1. Watch a playlist of leadership TedTalks
2. Start a book club with your peers - Here are some of my favourite leadership books
3. Pay attention to your sector's free training and webinars

​3 FREE PLACES TO LEARN FROM ME

1. Tune into my podcast
2. Watch my Leadership Excellence series
3. Choose a mini-training session to watch and grab your free guide sheet here

​THREE LOW-COST PLACES TO LEARN 

1. Purchase a library card 
2. Get an Audible membership. 
   Grab my list of favourite books to listen to here
3. Subscribe to The Training Library 

​Remember, effective leaders,
️️️√ Focus on learning and growth.
√ They are continually developing themselves.
√ Keep the knowledge flowing through them and onto the people they serve.

Ongoing personal & professional development is your path to confidence and effective leadership.​