 How many of your employees are engaged in the work they do?
I mean, are they actively looking to be involved, doing the work, moving the work forward, and helping the rest of the team do the same? Or are they getting in the way of all of that? The Engagement Research Gallup has been studying engagement for 20+ years. To learn more about their work and how they define engagement, click here. Gallup has discovered that about 85% of employees are disengaged to some degree! That's a big problem! Consider this... Engaged employees:
If you're like most leaders, you want more engaged employees. Engaged employees positively impact productivity, impact and the culture of your organization. Therefore, you probably think that you want to get rid of the disengaged employees fast.
Here's the deal: The reason most employees are disengaged is not them, not the work they do, nor is it the organization. Why most people say they don't like their job is their leader. Gallup found that 70% of the variance in team engagement is determined solely by the manager. They are disengaged because of their manager! People say the reason they don't like their job, don't want to be there and are actively looking for something else is because they
And that's you! Please don't take this personally. But do personally look at the impact you have on the people you lead. Bottom line: Whether you realize it or not, people are engaged or disengaged at work and stay or leave a job primarily because of their next-in-line boss. Disengaged employees are a problem in the nonprofit world Turnover in the nonprofit sector is a huge issue. And while there are many factors, one of the number one issues is that something goes wrong, and suddenly, the relationship between the employee and the boss turns sour. My story I experienced this first hand when I was the boss when my relationship with employees turned sour more than once! I wanted to get rid of them as fast as I could. And it wasn't until my coach encouraged me to take a good hard look at how I was leading, the impact I was having, and the reputation I was building that I had to turn things around. That's when I knuckled down on doing the inner work.
But we did it! And as a result, I learned so much about myself, others, and what it takes to lead with confidence, composure, and integrity intact. How do you create more engagement in your team?
Maryann is currently writing a book for Civil Sector Press on turnover in the nonprofit sector. She's drawing on her experience of being fired three times, working in a bullying environment, as well as countless interviews she's completed with leaders and employees in the sector. In this week's podcast, you'll hear Maryann's story, insights from the upcoming book and more. I'll end with a question: What are you doing to create engagement with your team? Put a comment below so we can all learn from each other!
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 I'm curious, as a leader, do you ever...
For example, there are only five good employees out there to hire, and you better get them before the other organizations scoop them up! Instead, adopt an abundance mindsetThe opposite of a scarcity mindset is an abundance mindset. Instead of seeing a finite amount of everything, there is an infinite amount. You have plenty of time to finish the project.
Abundance mindset in leadershipWhen you can come at your leadership challenges with an abundance mindset, you start to see what you do have and what might be possible.
Do you feel the difference? An abundance mindset is filled with HOPEHope is an emotion, but it's also a character trait. When you embrace HOPE, you not only (1) believe that tomorrow will be better than today, but you think you have the (2) ability to make that happen. Whatsmore, you know you have (3) multiple pathways to figure it out. That's what a true abundance mindset is. Your mindset is your perspectiveMindset is your lens or the filter through which you see the world. Like we have filters around gender, colour and race through which we see the world, we also have money lenses and mindsets. The way you think about money changes how you engage with your team, funders and donor when you are having money conversations. It can make you feel confident or doubt yourself and your message! Understanding your money mindsetIn this week's episode of the podcast, I talked to Jenny Mitchell about your money archetype. Your archetype is a mindset. When you learn HOW you think about money, it will help you understand how other people think about money. That increased awareness will help you engage in those courageous conversations you may have been reluctant to in the past. Help to shift your mindsetPerhaps you realize that your perspectives have been getting in the way. Maybe you also realize they are so ingrained. It's hard to shake them off. That's where practice comes in. Keep working through The Inner Guidance Cycle to become more mindful of what's going on in your mind.
** Learn more about The Inner Guidance Cycle here It will take timeDon't worry if you slip back to your old way of thinking. That's completely normal. That's why I said you have to practice this. You've probably been thinking with a scarcity mindset for a long time. It won't change overnight. Keep at it! More helpFor more help understanding The Inner Guidance Cycle grab Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system. For more help understanding your money mindset, tune into this week's episode # 47 - How your Money Archetype Affects your Leadership & Fundraising with Jenny Mitchell Final thoughtsYour thoughts can help you ditch survival mode and thrive in both leadership and life. Do the work to become more mindful of your thoughts, and you'll begin to enjoy impactful leadership!  I’m curious, as a leader, do you ever…
This kind of thinking could be a sign of a scarcity mindset. The scarcity mindset focuses on what isn’t there. It’s about lack. When you see things through the lens of scarcity, you see a finite amount of money, time and resources. For example, there are only five good employees out there to hire, and you better get them before the other organizations scoop them up! Instead, adopt an abundance mindset The opposite of a scarcity mindset is an abundance mindset. Instead of seeing a finite amount of everything, there is an infinite amount. You have plenty of time to finish the project.
Abundance mindset in leadership When you can come at your leadership challenges with an abundance mindset, you start to see what you do have and what might be possible.
An abundance mindset is filled with HOPE Hope is an emotion, but it’s also a character trait. When you embrace HOPE, you not only (1) believe that tomorrow will be better than today, but you think you have the (2) ability to make that happen. Whatsmore, you know you have (3) multiple pathways to figure it out. That’s what a true abundance mindset is. Your mindset is your perspective Mindset is your lens or the filter through which you see the world. Like we have filters around gender, colour and race through which we see the world, we also have money lenses and mindsets. The way you think about money changes how you engage with your team, funders and donor when you are having money conversations. It can make you feel confident or doubt yourself and your message! Understanding your money mindset In this week’s episode of the podcast, I talked to Jenny Mitchell about your money archetype. Your archetype is a mindset. When you learn HOW you think about money, it will help you understand how other people think about money. That increased awareness will help you engage in those courageous conversations you may have been reluctant to in the past. Help to shift your mindset Perhaps you realize that your perspectives have been getting in the way. Maybe you also realize they are so ingrained. It’s hard to shake them off. That’s where practice comes in. Keep working through The Inner Guidance Cycle to become more mindful of what’s going on in your mind.
It will take time Don’t worry if you slip back to your old way of thinking. That’s completely normal. That’s why I said you have to practice this. You’ve probably been thinking with a scarcity mindset for a long time. It won’t change overnight. Keep at it! More help For more help understanding The Inner Guidance Cycle grab Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system. For more help understanding your money mindset, tune into this week’s episode # 47 — How your Money Archetype Affects your Leadership & Fundraising with Jenny Mitchell Final thoughts
Your thoughts can help you ditch survival mode and thrive in both leadership and life. Do the work to become more mindful of your thoughts, and you’ll begin to enjoy impactful leadership!  Emma has someone on her team who is perpetually late with her paperwork. It doesn’t matter how often Emma talks to this person; it never seems to change. When I was coaching Emma, I reminded her that she could keep having supervision discussions with this team member addressing the late paperwork. That approach will likely cause friction.
The challenge is that in Emma’s mind, there is a right way to do things — handing things in on time. As a result, Emma also believes that this employee is doing things the wrong way — submitting items late. Right/Wrong Thinking This kind of thinking leaves the employee only able to defend themselves, making excuses about why they’re not measuring up and offering promises they’ll never keep. So the cycle continues. It’s often called polarized thinking. We see things one way, all or nothing, black or white, but no grey. Emma’s learning new ways of leading But what if Emma was able to get off her side (I’m right) and invite her employee to leave their side as well (You’re wrong) and meet on common ground? I asked Emma to think about how they could explore things differently. Rather than discussing what’s wrong or right, she could get curious. Here’s what Emma came up with: Old way: Your paperwork continues to be late, and that’s a problem. What plan can we make to get your paperwork in on time?
Here’s the thing, one can assume the employee wants to do their best work. When we start with that assumption that they mean no harm, instead of convincing them they’re doing things wrong, it changes the conversation’s tone. Here are some other variations of polarized thining I hear polarized thoughts when it becomes me versus you or us versus them. For example:
What leaders, teams and boards think in a polarized way:
***** Find the middle ground. Engaged teams find ways to move forward together. They are open to innovative ideas, curiosity, a willingness to ask questions, and a deep desire to understand each other. But you can’t get there when you can’t get off your side, and they will not get off their side. Three ways to overcome polarized thinking To overcome polarized thinking, use The Inner Guidance Cycle I teach in Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system 1) PAUSE Create space so you can think. 2) PONDER Ask yourself: What are the “sides” here?
Ask yourself: How do these views (my side their side) connect to each of our values and the organization’s values?
Courageously re-engage in the conversation with a more open viewpoint and a willingness to find common ground. More Help If you are looking for more help, and are a member of The Training Library, make sure you go through the TIPS plans I teach you in the Webinar: How to prepare for a tough talk. You may also find that reviewing your values from the Values Verification course may support your identification of sides.  Once, I had two staff members who hated each other. You might think that's harsh, but at the time, they couldn't even stand to be in the same room with each other!
I had a TOXIC workplace culture on my hands!But that wasn't the worst of it. It wasn't how they felt about each other. The worst of it was that the conflict between the two team members created a toxic work environment. The rest of the team felt forced to take sides. They avoided dealing with issues that needed addressing because there was just too much tension in the office. The rest of the team also felt the ongoing tension, causing them not to want to work. How did I deal with the TOXIC workplace culture?If you've ever been in that situation, you probably want to know how to deal with it. So did I! Through working with my coach and training that I took, I first learned what not to do! 3 things NOT to do with workplace conflict
All kidding aside, here is what I did learn about how to deal with conflict from my coach, the training I've taken and over the years with countless clients I've coached through conflict situations. 3 ways TO deal with conflict on your team 1) Take responsibility for your role in it Even if you are not directly involved in the conflict, you definitely have a role in it as a leader. That role isn't to deal with the conflict head-on, smooth it over, or tell those two people to smarten up! Your role is, however, to lead the team through the conflict.
2) Offer conflict resources Most of us have never learned effective conflict resolution strategies, so we honestly don't know how to deal with it. As a leader who wants to create an organizational culture that is comfortable working with and resolving conflict, you'll need to teach the team how to do that. You don't have to teach it
3) Ask what support or help they need from you If you have team members learning a new way of addressing conflict with a peer, they may need help practicing new skills. Practice with your team members
What if that doesn't work? Sometimes, working through the above 3 points is not enough. When conflict continues, it can strengthen and causes the workplace culture to deteriorate. It's then that it's time to reach out for help. In this week's episode of the podcast, I talk to HR expert Stacey Messner, and she walks us through went to reach for help and the kind of services you might get to help your nonprofit successfully deal with conflict in your team. EXTRA RESOURCES To hear Stacey's advice, tune in here: Surviving to Thriving Podcast Episode # 46 - When is it time to get help to address conflict on your nonprofit team? with HR Expert Stacey Messner For help getting through that first tough talk with confidence, read these articles:
Members of The Training Library will find additional resources here:
You don't have to know all the answers. Your job as a leader is to create the space for your team to figure it out. To do that, you start with the courage to be vulnerable. The bottom line is... that elephant won't go away no matter how long you try to avoid it! Your job as a leader is to acknowledge the conflict, plan for dealing with it and support conflict resolution on your team!  As I walked into my office, my administrative support, Wendy, asked me a question. I turned and glared at her. Then, as I turned back and kept on walking, I answered Wendy through my teeth! I certainly didn't have the patience for her BS right now.
Timeout! But....why didn't I have the patience for Wendy at this moment? Was it because she had done something wrong? ** Possibly, but the way I handled it was all on me. Being Bitchy Ok, let me start by saying I do not like that word at all! If you can give me another word that we all know and understand to describe what I mean, please message me and tell me a better word. It's not merely being rude or being cranky it's more than that. And we've all been there. Staff challenges I've had my fair share of staff challenges, and I bet you have too. We have staff that don't get along, stir the pot on the team, mess up with clients, neglect their paperwork, or in general, are somewhat incompetent at their job. And we need to address those issues. How are you addressing the issues?
Instead, you probably want them to say something like, "That was a tough conversation, but I feel like she's supporting me and wants to help me out." What gets in the way? We are women leaders. There is a lot that can get in the way that has nothing to do with the work, the person we are dealing with, the sector or the issue at hand. ▶︎ It might, however, have to do with that time of the month. ▶︎ It might have to do with that time in our life cycle. ▶︎ It could also be that our hormones are off due to our diabetes or thyroid issues. ▶︎It might result from a lack of sleep because our toddler kept us up, we fought with our partner or dealt with night sweats half the night. Hormones, emotions, burnout How you respond to a challenge with your employee is less about the words you use and more about how you deliver that message. Hormones, emotions and burnout all factor in. They are all things you need to be aware of, manage and, yes, at times, workaround. 3 strategies to help you manage your reputation 1) Be mindful of your body, mind and soul
2) Be in control of your schedule so you can adjust when needed based on mood and energy levels.
3) Be honest
We respect vulnerable leaders Most of our nonprofits are full of women, all of whom are likely going through similar emotional, hormonal and energy roller coasters. When you acknowledge where you are at, it makes you seem more human and permits others to do the same. Humour is useful in these kinds of situations if that's a strength of yours, but so is self-compassion, kindness, honesty and bravery. Extra Resources For those of you in The Training Library, here are some resources you might want to check out to help you ditch the bitchiness and lead with confidence!
You are human! Don't forget that Remember, it's not what you do as a leader that counts. It's how you do it. And you are a human being. You have emotions, hormones and a life outside of work that factor into how you lead. Don't forget to take that into account. When you do, you'll ditch survival mode and learn to thrive in both your leadership and your life!  Did you know that practicing mindfulness can make you a better leader? You bet it can! Mindfulness helps you to:
AND....Mindfulness helps you to be a compassionate leader: Instead of being stiff, bristly and focused only on tasks and results, mindfulness helps you be a warm, caring, compassionate, emotionally and socially intelligent leader. You are a caring person!!! And let's be honest, that's who you are at your core! You are kind, caring and passionate about your work. Sometimes, we just get caught up in the mess of the day, lose contact with that part of ourselves (unmindful) and lose touch with the human side of our leadership capacity. Mindfulness doesn't necessarily mean meditation Now that we've confirmed, it might be a good idea to practice mindfulness; my guess is your thoughts immediately go to meditation. While that may be helpful, and I encourage you to try that, you don't have to meditate to practice mindfulness.
You don't have to live alone to do this! But you might be saying I can't do that. I have a houseful. True. And when you sit and eat and listen to the sounds in your household, what do you hear?
You might also tune in to what you taste. Use your senses at any moment to be mindful Your senses are wonderful ways of bringing you present, being mindful in this moment 👃🏼👂🏻 👋🏻 👀 👅 Even during a meeting, travelling or watching tv, you can practice tuning into your senses. As I practiced mindfulness this morning, I tasted the cinnamon in my oatmeal, the ground hazelnuts, craisins sprinkled in and the almond milk on top. Mindfulness is being mindful of this moment...it's that "easy" Practising mindfulness is simply just that, practising being mindful of whatever is happening around you. Are you present or in the past or future? Instead, most of us let our thoughts pull us back to what happened and regurgitate what went wrong. Alternately, we focus on the future and fret and worry about what is to become. To be mindful is to be in this moment, whatever is going on! Mindfulness helps you build compassion, care and connection in your nonprofit In this week's episode of the podcast, Elizabeth Bishop and I talk about love in your nonprofit. By love, we mean compassion, connection and caring. The problem is many of us have lost touch with that part of our leadership capacity. And it shows.
More help to build your compassion, kindness and mindfulness To help, tune in to my conversation with Elizabeth for tons of ideas, insights and the incentive to practice mindfulness. For more information on how to use mindfulness to maintain your composure during tough meetings, those of you in The Training Library can watch this webinar. TRY IT: Just for a moment now, tune into your senses. Be present to this moment! Go make the rest of your day awesome! Have you lost your passion for your work?
We’ve been told we’ll burn ourselves out. But we are burning ourselves out by not caring, not feeling and numbing out. In this episode, Elizabeth and I engage in a dialogue about bringing your heart back into your work! You’ll learn strategies, mindsets and most importantly, you’ll gain the permission to once again feel the love in the workplace!  I recently watched the movie Hillbilly Elegy and loved it! There is a scene where the main character goes to a fancy dinner and steps away to phone his girlfriend to get her help. Over the phone, his girlfriend teaches him a quick strategy to know which forks to use when. This scene brought back memories from when I first went to business dinners at upper-end restaurants and had no idea how to order wine or speak certain words on the menu and certainly not which utensil to use. I didn't fit the "leadership" mold Recognizing how uncultured I was always brought out in me the feeling that I didn't fit in. It made me feel that I didn't have what it took to be at that leadership level. I suffered from Imposter Syndrome Imposter Syndrome happens when we think we don't have the capacity, skills or education to do the job we are in. It leads to self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. We fear that others will discover we aren't knowable, capable, or equipped to do the job, which leads to feeling like a fraud or imposter. Here's the thing, neither of my parents has a high school education, and we farmed. I know differently now, but back then, I felt like that was two strikes against me. The belief partly stems from my Dad's frequent quip about being "just a dumb farmer." That belief unconsciously stayed with me, and as a result, I was undoubtedly always comparing myself to others who were more cultured and had more educated parents. I didn't have enough of this: That unconscious pattern of thinking continued in my career. I never felt I had "enough" to fit in.
Do you have enough to fit the leadership mold? Here is the thing though, "not-enoughness" strikes us all in various ways and at different times. Where do you feel "not-enoughness?"
If you aren't careful, that train of thinking will get wreak havoc with your confidence! Overcoming Imposter Syndrome A.K.A that feeling of "Not-Enoughness On this week's podcast, I talk to Malory Erickson about "not-enoughness" in fundraising. Mallory covers four strategies on how to overcome "not-enoughness." The strategies aren't just about fundraising, though. Listen and see how they fit with your role as well! Strategy # 1 The first strategy that Mallory talks about is to embrace your emotions, as I am always encouraging you to as well. We need to name our feelings and identify what body sensations and thoughts go with those emotions. It's the second step of The Inner Guidance Cycle, ponder. PONDER stage of The Inner Guidance Cycle
Here's how it looks at work When I would sit at a contract meeting, I often didn't understand the legal mumbo-jumbo on the page in front of me.
Have the courageous conversations In the podcast, Mallory suggests it becomes less intimidating when we talk about what we feel with other people at work. She encourages us to create a workplace culture where it's safe to say what we feel, and as the leader, that starts with you. Here's an example For example, I could have bravely spoken up at that meeting to say, "Hey, you know what, I feel a little foolish for saying this, but I don't understand what this word means, and I don't get what this implies." I bet that others around the table felt the same way and would have been relieved for someone to speak up. Strategy # 2 Another strategy Mallory talks about is to get a hold of your thoughts. Self-talk like this wreaks havoc with your confidence:
More help When you work through the Inner Guidance Cycle by stopping (pause) to ask yourself what you are thinking and feeling (ponder), you can remind yourself (pivot) that you're not the only one at that moment not understanding the words on the legal document in front of you. That can give you the courage to speak up (proceed) and say what many people in the room are feeling. To understand and begin using The Inner Guidance Cycle in your leadership and life, grab Mastering Confidence and start working through the self-reflective exercises in it. For the other two strategies on how to overcome not-enoughness, tune to the podcast with Mallory Erickson here YOU ARE ENOUGH! You are enough, my dear! Just the way you are! What's more, the world, your organization, your team and your clients need you. They need what you have, what you offer and what you can help them with!  Are you scared of someone on your board? Maybe not scared. Perhaps they make you very uncomfortable, or for whatever reason, there's tension. Keep reading. I've got some help coming your way! Brenda's Board Challenge In a recent call, Brenda asked for coaching on an upcoming board meeting. Brenda told me that she hated board meetings because one of the board members was nasty to Brenda when she did Brenda's performance appraisal ten years ago. Brenda still remembers she felt attacked by that board member. Since then, Brenda doesn't trust the board member and indicates they have a tenuous relationship. Brenda struggles to work with this board member effectively. Brenda got some coaching In our coaching conversation, I asked her about that performance appraisal. Brenda indicated the issue on that performance appraisal was something that she wished she'd handled differently. She realized now that she has grown a lot since then. Brenda accesses her inner wisdom By utilizing The Inner Guidance Cycle, by coming to coaching to PAUSE and then PONDER, Brenda realized her thoughts were full of an old storyline.
Brenda also became more aware of her body sensations. Brenda would tense up any time she had to engage with this board member. Brenda realized she was feeling incompetent and lacked confidence every time she had to talk to that person. In the PONDER step of the Inner Guidance System Brenda looked at her thoughts, feelings and body sensations as indicators of what was going on, Brenda increased her self-awareness. Brenda's new awareness was that she'd been holding onto old hurts, old stories, and past conflict. Brenda realized that she had not allowed her relationship with her board member to grow and move past that incident 10 years ago. Brenda found new perspectives Once Brenda identified the old patterns of thoughts and feelings, we started looking at different perspectives, and Brenda was able to PIVOT
Brenda felt lighter and more confident By the end of our coaching call, Brenda was ready to PROCEED. She had a new mindset around this particular board member.
Your turn: Do you avoid someone on your board? If you've ever avoided board conversations or have a challenging member, you are not alone. My guest on this week's podcast, Heather Terrence, says we all know boards can be a little bit sticky. That doesn't mean you should avoid some of those more challenging members or those difficult conversations. In fact, you must address tough conversations! As Heather says in our podcast, it's your job to liaise between the organization and the board, and thus it's your job to address difficult conversations. Help to have those Brave Board Conversations! You can learn more about strategies that Heather suggests to have Brave Board Conversations in this week's podcast. You'll also find that Heather shares a link to her board governance checklist. If you want support with your board, certainly check out the services that Heather offers here. If you want help working through The Inner Guidance Cycle with a current challenge, review the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle here. For coaching to help you move through the steps, book a call here. Let it go! Stop carrying around all that old hurt, pain and frustration! It's not helping you enjoy impactful leadership...nor is it helping you be the best leader you can be! As someone famous says....Let it go!!
 I was working with a client this week, let's call her Divya, to develop her quarterly goals. The Goal: Reduce hours working The Outcome: Increased work-life balance The Strategy: To delegate more It's time to delegate more! Seems simple enough, right? If you have too much to do, give some of it away. We all know that it's not quite that simple, so I asked her what roadblocks might get in the way of that? It's not that easy! Quickly Divya indicated she was worried about overwhelming her staff if she delegated more to them. If that's the case, then she's going to fail at her goal before she even starts. Even though Divya wants to reduce her hours and wants to delegate more, her thoughts will get in the way, and she won't do it. Our beliefs get in the way! Our coaching turned to examine her beliefs. A belief is a thought you keep thinking. In this situation, Divya kept thinking she would overwhelm her staff if she delegated more to them. This assumption had become a habitual way of thinking. When we looked more closely at that perception, Divya realized there was some truth to it, but there was more to the story. A belief is a thought you keep thinking Our beliefs aren't always right! After some coaching, Divya came up with these 4 realizations.
You may need to change what you are thinking! The thing that Divya was missing, and that I am guessing you might be missing is that to achieve a goal, you need to not just look at the outcome you desire and the strategy that you will use to get there but that you will also look at what mindset shifts you need to make. The Goal: Reduce hours working The Outcome: Increased work-life balance The Strategy: To delegate more The Mindset Shift: Delegating helps not just me, but my managers and our team Use the Inner Guidance Cycle to shift your mindset We then worked on operationalizing this goal into a daily habit that would lead to Divya achieving success. Divya realized there was no magical number of things she needed to delegate or even types of things. It was more about being intentional about her workload and the process of delegation. She created a habit to help her proceed through the Inner Guidance Cycle. At the end of the day, Divya will work through the INNER GUIDANCE CYCLE:
The Goal: Reduce hours working
The Outcome: Increased work-life balance The Strategy: To delegate more The Mindset Shift: Delegating helps not just me, but my managers and our team Daily Habit: Note where I delegated, thought about delegating or struggled to delegate and what my thought was about that It's your turn! Take time to work through your goals for the upcoming quarter. Notice I don't say for the year. A year is a bit long to really do the deep dive work here. You can set annual goals, and you should. But then break them down to how you will work on that goal each quarter. More Help
Make this year the year to achieve some remarkable leadership goals! Remeber, there is more to goal setting than just writing a sentence down. Also, strong leaders develop their own personal and professional goals AND work on them! Please don't assume your performance appraisal goals are enough. There are likely more details that need flushing out to help you truly feel more confident, composed and comfortable leading with integrity! If you need help with that, message me here! |
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Kathy ArcherWomen leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead. Archives
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