Nonprofit work can be incredibly fulfilling and impactful, but it can also be exhausting, overwhelming, and lead to burnout. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. Sadly burnout is far too common in the nonprofit sector, where overwork and lack of resources are common challenges.
The problem is many of us continue to work through burnout, either not recognizing it or not feeling we can take a step back to deal with it. That's not ok for you, your team, your clients, or your family, and it's certainly not ok for the nonprofit sector! It's important to note that burnout is a gradual process and doesn't generally happen overnight. It's essential to pay attention to warning signs and take action before you hit burnout. Robert Cole, an American psychologist, wrote The Call of Service, which discusses the path to burnout. The first step to prevent burnout is to increase your awareness of what it is and recognize the warning signs of when you might be headed there. According to Cole, we move from weariness to cynicism. Next comes despair and, following that, bitterness. We then slip into depression before we hit burnout. I remember the first time I was on antidepressants. It was right before I almost quit my job. I'd hit burnout and had trouble even remembering what I'd once loved about the work. I'd become so embroiled in conflict, toxicity and negativity. Looking back, I now see that the weariness, cynicism, despair and bitterness were all there before that. I just tuned them out, assumed black humour was part of the job, and every leader is exhausted. I didn't know that those were not the mark of strong leadership. Instead, they were signposts along the way to burnout. Look at the following stages on Cole's pathway to burnout. Do any of these sound a bit too familiar to your daily experience?
If so, stop and acknowledge that. Just pause and be aware that while this may seem "normal" in our sector, that doesn't make it "right." It's not ok, either. There is another way. It begins with choosing a different path. I want to insert the original version of the serenity prayer here. Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other. Notice that the prayer asked for courage first. And that courage was for things that MUST be changed, not things that simply can be changed. I believe we MUST change how we experience leadership in the nonprofit sector. But there is another way, and it will take courage from you, me, and a few other brave souls to start the tides of that change.
When I was aware I was burning out, I went to the doctor, who prescribed antidepressants. That isn't the path for everyone, and I don't know if I'd take that path again now. But it was the best I could do at the time. I also did several things that boosted my confidence (You can find 4 of those confidence boosters here). The confidence boost helped me return to leadership with my head held high and ready to reengage intentionally and with passion. It started with awareness, then took courage. If you are on the path to burnout and want to rekindle your passion for nonprofit work, you might be interested in the 5-day challenge I created to help you rediscover your passion and purpose in your work. Join the 5-Day Challenge: Conquer your love-hate relationship with your job. March 20 - 24th Are you tired of feeling stuck in a job that no longer excites you? Join the upcoming 5-day challenge and shift your mindset to reignite your passion for your nonprofit leadership role. It's time to shift your mindset and reignite your passion for your job. How it works: When you sign up, you'll be invited to join each day to gradually make shifts that will rekindle your passion for your job.
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If you've written down your nonprofit leadership goals, congratulations. Many never even get to that point. If you are one of the leaders determined to grow this year, you've also devised a plan to accomplish those goals. Now what? Now, you need to take action, and you need to keep taking action throughout the year!
But rather than steadily moving towards your goal, if you aren't careful, you'll join the 80% of people who abandon their goals by February. What, then, is the trick to sticking to your goals? Instead of floundering, forgetting and failing - you successfully achieve your goals by reviewing them regularly. Build a systematic review process Positive thinking, believing you can achieve your goal, is the first step. However, positive thinking alone does not equal success. You actually have to do something! Habitually reviewing where you are on your journey as you progress toward your goal will make you more successful. Being determined, even though adversity will always hit, is how you achieve your goals and become a strong leader. Review your strategy for achieving your goals The actions you take on the journey to achieve your goals make a difference. However, it's consistently taking action that is the hard part. In truth, many of the steps you need to take to achieve your goals won't be easy or enjoyable. That is precisely why many people don't achieve their goals. They stop when it gets tough or they come up against a barrier. Remember that adversity strengthens you Here is the thing, though, you NEED those roadblocks! The difficult parts are the essential parts. By going through the struggle, we learn, grow and become better versions of ourselves. It is during the challenges that we become better leaders. Therefore, getting through the trying segments of the journey is necessary for reaching the goal. The truth is for you to get to the next step: You need to learn something You must increase skills in some area You are required to come to a new awareness This more difficult part of goal attainment is the portion that many of us resist but, sadly, it is also the part that will keep you stuck and unhappy. Your plan keeps you moving To keep moving forward when challenges hit, you must have a plan that includes
Your plan might incorporate coursework
You must keep reviewing your plan Once your strategy is in place, you must regularly review that plan. That way, when you hit a roadblock, feel overwhelmed or want to quit, you can reconnect to your goal and strategies to get over the hump. In addition, reviewing your plan will remind you of what you can do if you feel overwhelmed, confused, apprehensive or stuck. Make the review time effective Create a habit of reviewing your goals to make the review time effective. The following steps give you a process for the weekly review of your goals and your strategic plan to achieve those goals: The 10-minute framework for your weekly review Each week, set aside 10 to 30 minutes to review your goals and the plan you have for achieving them. During this time, create the habit of doing the following: 1. Write out your goals Don't just read them over. Rewrite them. Writing your goals down creates new pathways in your mind that activate the desire to achieve your goals. It keeps them alive and real. 2. Visualize achieving your goals Close your eyes and imagine what it will be like when you reach your goal. Connect emotionally and viscerally to it. Feel the excitement, pride, and sense of accomplishment. Let your tummy get jumbly, and your heart swell and your eyes water. 3. Identify the overarching steps needed to achieve your goals Remind yourself of the steps you identified in your strategic plan that you need to take to achieve your goal. 4. Visualize yourself moving through the steps Close your eyes and see yourself navigating the steps you need to achieve goal attainment. As you do, notice challenges that may pop up and envision yourself overcoming them. Then, as you see yourself moving towards your goal, notice what it takes for you to progress through the difficult times. It may be your determination, increased patience or ongoing persistence. 5. Identify the next step you need to take As you review your plan each week, identify what you need to work on to keep moving towards your goals. Next, write that action step down. Then, schedule it in your day timer and commit to doing it. The ongoing review will help you achieve your goals! To be a better version of yourself this year and, thus, a better leader, you need to set goals. Then, you must have a strategy and a plan for how you will achieve those goals. But from there, the next crucial step is regularly reviewing your goals and plans. Creating the habit of regularly reviewing your goals will help you be the best leader you can be. If you want to feel more competent, capable and sure of yourself in your leadership, you need to increase your self-confidence by learning to manage your thoughts. To bounce back time and time again when the $#!t hits the fan 😩 you need a system that will help you regain your whirling thoughts and, thus, your confidence when you falter. We've been covering that system the last few weeks as you've been learning about pausing, pondering, pivoting and proceeding. Leaders who can navigate the busy, stressful and difficult times AND come out on top rely on something inside of them. Their inner wisdom 🦉provides strength, insight, and stamina, not just to survive but to thrive. Successful and confident leaders access that inner wisdom by consciously tuning in to it. The problem is we aren't taught this stuff Unfortunately, many of us are too busy or have never learned how to tune into our inner wisdom. As new leaders, we learned about scheduling shifts, what forms need filling out and when and how to do cover off. We were not taught what to do when we were uncomfortable addressing something going wrong or how to deal with our emotions during a team meeting when everyone seemed to hate us. And many of us assumed it was something wrong with us. We weren't cut out for leadership, were doing something wrong or alternately blamed it on the crappy staff we had. ❌ None of that was probably true, not completely. We need to learn how to access our inner wisdom What may be more accurate ✅ is that we have yet to learn how to communicate effectively as a leader, what to do with the voices in our head that doubt we can handle it or what to do with the anger when a comment at a staff meeting triggers us. To help us learn that, we need a system to allow us to access our inner wisdom. ☑️ When you are about to enter a tough conversation and want to maintain your composure, your thoughts will help you do that. ☑️ When you struggle to get your work done and feel pulled in many directions, your inner wisdom will help you focus on what matters most when it matters most. ☑️ So you can convince yourself it's ok to walk away from work and find balance with your life. If you want to learn a system to help you tune into your inner wisdom, something you can use anytime and anywhere, then keep reading 👇🏻 It's time to find your internal compass Leaders that learn to tune in and manage their thoughts and emotions develop courage, strength and skills to leave effectively and impactfully by accessing their inner wisdom or The Inner Guidance System. Your Inner Guidance System is your internal navigational structure. Think of your Inner Guidance System as your personal GPS or as a compass 🧭
Know Your Leadership Destination But where are you going? Leadership is about taking people someplace. It is about moving your organization from here to there. That is your vision or destination. The destination could be something like:
Your destination is about who you are becoming More than organizational goals, your direction is about becoming the type of leader you want to be.
The difference when you use your Inner Guidance System 👎🏻 Without tuning in, accessing your inner wisdom and using that internal compass to guide you, sadly, you'll be stuck on completing your to-do list, attending meetings and returning emails instead of being your best self while doing all those things. 👍🏻 But when you tune in and access your inner wisdom, using that internal compass to guide you, you'll be your best self 🙌🏻 when you complete your to-do list, attend meetings and return emails. Follow the steps of your INNER GUIDANCE CYCLE To access your Inner Guidance SYSTEM, follow the steps of the Inner Guidance CYCLE. The four steps, when repeated again and again, help you to make use of your internal wisdom. The steps of the INNER GUIDANCE CYCLE are as follows:
When you do the steps repeatedly, they provide insights that you need to move in the direction you want. The Inner Guidance Cycle at work:
To begin getting acquainted with your wise inner self, PAUSE and start paying attention to what is happening inside you. Consider or PONDER what thoughts and feelings you have about people, challenges or outcomes you experience.
You'll also notice that those thoughts and feelings may be accompanied by certain sensations in your body, for example:
Your thoughts, feelings and sensations are signs of your Inner Guidance System at work. They are clues🕵️ to what is going on and how to regain your composure and become your best self. Accessing the wisdom inside - An example By tuning into what's happening, you can shift how your thoughts or perspectives about the situation, how you handle it and how you feel about how you handle it. 👉 For example, perhaps you have a tough conversation coming up. When you paused and tuned in (pondered), you may have noticed:
But that isn't the end of The Inner Guidance Cycle 👇🏻 The next step is the PIVOT step. This step is about shifting your perspective. You shift your perspective by getting curious and asking yourself questions. You may ask yourself questions like:
The answers you come up with could be something like:
This new insight helps you move forward or PROCEED
Accessing your inner wisdom via The Inner Guidance Cycle will help you navigate your to-do list and relationships while you manage your emotions and be your best self. To learn more about each step in The Inner Guidance Cycle, dive deeper with this article. I know you want to lead with confidence. But if you are like most women leading in nonprofits, you often spend more time feeling your confidence fading, doubting you can handle the position, and feeling overwhelmed. That's no way to lead! Here is the thing though:
The problem is that you don't always believe that. Instead, you:
Lacking confidence makes you look outward When you don't believe in yourself, you look to others to give you direction, insights, and permission.
In the meantime, you procrastinate, delay and second-guess yourself. Confidence comes from inner wisdom You rebuild your confidence and can move forward decisively when you access your inner wisdom. It's when you tune into your wise self, your best self and the part of you that already know you'll feel your confidence soar. It's then that you:
Connect to your inner wisdom and boost your confidence Accessing your leadership wisdom requires connecting to your Inner Guidance System. Your Inner Guidance System is like your internal compass or GPS. To connect to your wise self, PAUSE, PONDER, PIVOT and PROCEED. These 4 Ps are the steps in the Inner Guidance Cycle. When you master these steps and do them repeatedly, you'll be accessing your inner wisdom and leading with more confidence.
Help to learn to access your inner wisdom In Mastering Confidence: Discover Your Leadership Potential by Awakening Your Inner Guidance System, I guide you through the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle. Understanding the four steps and learning to do them regularly will help you to feel and act more confidently. Find support to master the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle First, get Mastering Confidence today. As you read it, you'll be developing your courage and confidence and learning to master leadership. Each chapter has an exercise that helps you to look inside to help access your inner wisdom. In addition, you'll find a free course in the book to give you more support through that process and help you complete each of the exercises. Get the book. Get the free course. Master your confidence As you read Mastering Confidence and complete the exercises in the free course, you will find significant shifts in how you feel and lead. That increased confidence and a sense of knowing will show up in:
How nonprofit leaders can lead with courage and confidence
In the last few weeks, we've been diving into the steps of The Inner Guidance Cycle. You may have made some realizations and know it's time to take action, but...
Confident leaders keep moving As you build your leadership confidence, you'll need to continue to move forward despite challenges. That level of confidence comes from mastering your thoughts when things get rough. It's when you dare to make a decision, communicate it and move on. When you learn to master your inner chatter, you'll set boundaries, speak up and open up hard conversations, even though it would be easier not to do those things. The way to move forward, even when it's uncomfortable, is to follow the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle. When you connect to your inner wisdom or Inner Guidance System, managing your thinking is more doable. Thus, taking action is more even when you would rather not but know you should, is more doable. Inner Guidance Cycle To help you manage your thoughts, I've been teaching you to use the Inner Guidance Cycle.
Accessing your inner guide can help
When you follow the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle, the final step is to PROCEED. However, getting back into motion after pausing, pondering and pivoting can often be the hardest step.
Q.Why is taking action the hardest step?
First, you've paused and then pondered
Something has happened, and you know you need to get ahold of your thoughts before they drag you off to the land of doubt, frustration or shutting down. So you PAUSE, step back and become more mindful of what is happening. Pausing allowed you to move to the next step and PONDER. When you ponder, you begin to notice what has been going on around you and inside of you. You examine your thoughts, feelings and body sensations. Reflecting on your inner and outer experiences gives you insights. By pausing and pondering, you are awakening your inner guide or your Inner Guidance System. A little shift now by pivoting your perspective By awakening that Inner Guidance System, you evaluate your thoughts. Insights, ah-has and a willingness to examine thoughts, beliefs and judgements often shift your thoughts, views or opinions. That takes you to step 3 of the Inner Guidance Cycle; PIVOT. Pivoting means seeing things in a different way When you have new perspectives, you often need to change, turn or pivot how you handle things. As a result, you feel prompted to take different actions or respond in a way you usually wouldn't. Alternatively, a new way of seeing things may lead you to inaction where you had previously planned to act. That new action or inaction may contradict what you are used to doing. It may also be far from what those around you are accustomed to expecting from you. That could be uncomfortable for you and them. Think about how it feels to:
Discomfort can be paralyzing Even though you may have gotten to the point where you need to do something differently, doing it differently is a whole different beast! So insert step # 4 - PROCEED. ? AKA - having the courage to proceed. All of the examples above can be very uncomfortable. Discomfort can paralyze us. We freeze, not wanting to go to the next step. So, it feels better to stay right where we are. It does until you look at what staying here means. The deception of our comfort zone Staying here, in our comfort zone, isn't really all that comfy. No, it actually sucks. For many of us, our comfort zone means we've given in, blended in or conformed. It feels a bit like defeat! Settling for the mediocre life, the ok job, or the tolerable work environment isn't comfortable. It's painful. And not addressing staff issues, continuing to work way too many hours and being too embarrassed to ask or help are anything but comfortable. Dealing with the pain of the comfort zone The problem is we don't usually deal with the pain of the comfort zone in healthy ways. Instead, we numb the pain and try to pretend it's ok. So we:
Numbing the pain keeps you from experiencing pain in the moment. But the discomfort is still there. We've just masked it. Change is necessary The bigger problem is that you are not reaching your full potential as a leader by staying in your comfort zone. No one ever changed the world by living in their comfort zone. No one ever grew, developed, or achieved anything by numbing the pain and playing safe. Organizations don't make a big difference in the lives of their clients by playing it safe. Instead, change is made when we get out of our comfort zone. Getting back into motion: Proceed The answer... To grow your leadership, enjoy your job, and live a full life, you must move forward instead of continuing to play it safe.
Q: Why is taking action the hardest step?
A: Moving forward moves you to a place of discomfort. Proceed forward. It's time to get back into action and PROCEED by doing the right but uncomfortable thing.
Two strategies to make proceeding easier? Strategy # 1 - Start with courageConfidence begins with courage. To become more confident in yourself, you need to be more courageous. Courage and confidence go hand in hand.
Each time you take a courageous act, your confidence soars. Each time your confidence rises, you feel more courage to try different things. Having courage and confidence gives you the elements to survive and thrive in leadership and life.
?Strategy # 2 - Get the momentum goingAn object at rest stays at rest. Conversely, an object in motion stays in motion. Therefore if you want to move back into action, you have to get the ball rolling.
One way to make this easier is to break it down into tiny steps and identify the first next step, and then proceed by taking that step. For example: You may have realized you DO need to have THAT conversation.
Pause, ponder, pivot and then proceed forward
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