As a nonprofit leader, you've probably struggled with your emotions during a meeting. And, you know that feeling of being about to lose your composure is not fun! I've been there too, and it sucks!

When we are out of control, we are often reacting to what's going on:

• The tears are ready to come, and it is soooo NOT the time to cry.
• A sarcastic comment slips out, and we didn't mean it.
• We bite someone's head off and then regret it.
• Our voice quivers, telling the world how nervous we are.
• That swear word just tumbled out when it shouldn't have!

 
All of these are examples of losing control. In these situations, we feel powerless to hold onto our feelings and behaviours. We simply react.


Are You Playing the Blame Game?
Many of us blame that reaction on other people around us or the situation. Those darn Kleenex commercials always make me cry. My daughter tells me it's my fault that she cries. If I cry, it makes her cry.
 
We do the same in business settings.

• If she hadn't said that, then I wouldn't feel this.
• If we weren't so stretched, then I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed.
• If it weren't for the economy, the weather, the crappy office space, then…I wouldn't be…

 

We Give Our Power Away
When we hand our thoughts and feelings to other people or the bigger "world," we give our power away. So, in essence, you are saying. I am not in control of my emotions, or I am not in control of the way I act. 
It's that belief that makes you feel powerless. 
When you feel powerless, you certainly don't feel confident!


Who's fault is it?
It's not anyone's fault, but we look to lay blame somewhere. Really, is it the rain's fault that you feel sad? No. Nor is it your boss's fault that you feel overwhelmed. And it's not the employee's fault for questioning something in a staff meeting. I know it sure feels like it. But hear me out for a moment.
 
Regain Your Sense of Control
When you gain access to what is going on inside of you, you can regain your sense of control and power.

We can see rain as a pain in the butt or a blessing. We can enjoy the sprinkles as we take out our umbrellas or grumble and groan at how it's wrecking our plans. It's up to us how we see it. In the same way, when we do self-reflective work, we can begin to feel grateful for the disgruntled staff member. They are growing our conflict resolution.


Take Back Your Power With This Tool

​Here is the tool to gain back that control and increase your confidence. Using the Inner Guidance Cycle, you can shift from giving your control away to taking your power back.
 
There are 4 steps to the Inner Guidance Cycle: Pause, Ponder, Pivot and Proceed.

• PAUSE – Stop what you are doing
• PONDER – Tune into what's going on inside of you and reflect on why it's happening
• PIVOT – Shift how you see things and how you are experiencing the situation, thus taking back control
• PROCEED – Move back into action.

 
Let's use the example from above to see the Inner Guidance Cycle in action.


🛠 The Tool: The Inner Guidance Cycle in Action

PAUSE: Stop and take a deep breath.

When your boss hands you another task, and you begin to feel overwhelmed, then PAUSE. Often, our first reaction is to direct frustration and anger at our boss. That gives power to them. They are in control of how you feel if you let them be.

When a team member asks a pointed question at the staff meeting, you may feel triggered and put on the spot. You know they said it to make you look bad. Your automatic reactionary response is to lash back at them. Before you react, pause!

Take a deep breath and begin to tune into yourself.



PONDER: Reflect on what is going on inside of you.
Take time to check your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. These are the parts of your Inner Guidance System. Just like a compass, they can guide you. Take time to PONDER and reflect. They help you identify your triggers.


1️⃣ Thoughts:
Do you think your boss is a jerk? Perhaps you are wondering how you will ever be able to handle the workload. You might be thinking that you have to do it immediately. But, on the other hand, you could be telling yourself how unfair this is.

Do you believe this employee is trying to get you fired? Do you want to squash them, quiet them or put them in their place? Just notice the thoughts. 
 
2️⃣ Feelings:
Are you experiencing a sense of overwhelm? Anger? Frustration? Despair? Incompetence?
 
3️⃣ Body Sensations:
These are often the clues that tell you what you are feeling. They help you become smarter about emotions and better able to name and tame them in the future.
For example:

• Is your heart racing?
• Did your face turn red?
• Is your stomach in knots? 
• Are you clenching your fists?
• Are you feeling that tension headache coming on? 

Consider what feeling that body sensation is connected to.

Start to reflect on what set you off. You're still PONDERING at this stage.
 

🤔 What was the trigger?
Take time to consider what caused you to react strongly and quickly.

• Was it that the boss gave you this project or how they gave it to you?
• Was it the timing?
• Did it bother you because it's really someone else's responsibility? 
• Are you anxious because you don't know how to do it? 
• Has that triggered a feeling of incompetence?

When a team member asks you a question at the staff meeting, and you immediately feel your composure slipping, consider the trigger.

• Did you feel like they were trying to take over?
• Do you suddenly feel put on the spot and unprepared?
• Are you feeling incompetent because you don't know the answer?
• Does the question, and the look, seem to suggest that you don't have the team's support?

Example of triggers 
​Our triggers are often around "not enoughness."

• I'm too young/old
• I am not smart enough
• I'm not the right color/gender
• I don't have the right experience
• I haven't been here as long as them

You may also be triggered by 

• Criticism
• Being excluded
• Being disrespected
• Being misunderstood
• Not feeling like you belong
• Sloppiness / untidy / laziness
• When people don't take accountability for their actions
• When you are disregarded/overlooked/invisible

💭 What mistaken beliefs do I have?
"I have to do this now."
Do you really? 

• Do you have to do it all? 
• Do you have to do it in the way it was asked? 
• Can you ask for help? 
• Can you do a portion now and some later? 
• Is there an easier way to get the result that you could suggest back?

 
"I have to do it perfectly."
What does good enough look like? What is the real expectation versus my own "perfectionist" expectations?
 
"I can't say no."

• What would really happen if you said no? 
• What is the worst-case scenario? 
• What parts could you say no to?

"I need to have an answer."

• Do you really need to know the answer?
• Does the answer need to be right now?

 "They are out to get me."

• We both want to enjoy our job and work in a place we like.

💜 What values are not being honoured here?
Perhaps your value of family time is being squashed because you will now have to work late. Maybe you feel that you will have to rush this project or another one now, and that impedes your value of doing good work. Perhaps you are not feeling respected or appreciated.
 
This whole reflection piece in the PONDER stage of the Inner Guidance Cycle serves to awaken new insights. This awareness is what allows you to take back control.

As you sift through all of the stuff inside you, you'll see the mess of thoughts, feelings and body sensations begin to settle, and you'll often be left with a clearer picture. It is that clarity that can make you do a bit of a shift in your thoughts and feelings. That is the PIVOT stage. 



PIVOT: Shifting how you see things
When you see things in a new light, you shift your perspective. PIVOTING allows you to head in a different direction. Perhaps instead of feeling out of control and angry with your boss, you take a deep breath and ask if you can have a moment of their time.


PROCEEDING back into action

When you are proceeding, you are taking your finger off the pause button and PROCEEDING back into motion. You might ask if you can renegotiate the deadline. You might suggest splitting the task between you and another person. You might say no. Any of these actions put you back in control and feel an increase in confidence.

By moving through the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle, Pause, Ponder, Pivot and Proceed, you begin to take back your inner power. Instead of feeling out of control, you begin to regain a sense of power. But this time, it is internal power. 

It isn't your power over the situation or power over another person. Instead, you've found your voice. You've connected to what is truly important and discovered your strength from within. That's the true meaning of being in control. This inner power is your inner confidence.

​To be in control of yourself, do the inner work. Connect to your Inner Guidance System. You'll be glad you did!

We've all been to a nonprofit staff meeting where there are items that shouldn't be on the agenda. And often, it makes for a painful and long-drawn-out meeting. We wonder to ourselves or text our colleagues, "Why are we even talking about this?"

Often that's because nonprofit leaders haven't learned what belongs on a staff meeting agenda. Without training on how to run a staff meeting, we are left to follow what our predecessor did. If they did it for so many meetings, it must be the right way, no?

Not necessarily. 

Learning what goes on your staff meeting agenda will help you feel more confident, competent and in control.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are your staff meetings effective at doing what you want them to do?
2. Does your team find them valuable?
3. Do they grow your team?
4. Are your staff meetings 
   1. engaging
   2. collaborative
   3. productive
   4. worthwhile?

If the answer or answers are no, you may want to rework how you run them. 

Let's start first with what's on your staff meeting agenda.

Your staff meeting agenda should be prepared and provided to those who will be in attendance several days before the meeting. They need to know what to expect. Therefore, they may need to prepare. Additionally, if you are running an engaging and collaborative meeting, your team members may have items to add to the agenda. 

So what should go on a staff meeting agenda? Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself when you prepare for your next staff meeting 


Does this belong on your nonprofit team staff meeting agenda?

1) Does everyone need to know it and discuss it?
If it is an item that only certain people need to discuss, either put it on a different meeting agenda or put it at the end of their agenda so that those people who the topic is not relevant for can leave early 

2) Can it be done as an email update?
If you were providing information, an email update might be fine. If you need a discussion around something, you may want to give the email update first so that people have time to prepare before the meeting. It's important to be clear on the agenda item what the agenda item is. It's not information sharing. 

Instead, the agenda item becomes

• A decision to be made on A or B
• Feedback is requested on X. 
  • What's working and what isn't?
  • What can be improved?

3) Is it the right time?
Often we start talking about things before we have all the information, knowledge or information, and it can create anxieties, tension and confusion. Or we talk about things that aren't yet resolved, and really people shouldn't be privy to yet. 
Be cautious and trust your gut when you ask yourself, "Is it the right time to talk about this at this meeting?" Your intuition will know best. 

4) What is the point of sharing it?
Are you sharing information because it's something employees need to know, because it will help them somehow or because they need to prepare for it? If you can't figure out the point is for sharing it, don't share it. 

If you do know the point, be clear on what the point is. Please don't assume that everyone knows why you're sharing it.

5) Is everyone there that needs to be included to discuss this item?
It's annoying to have a discussion that can't be resolved because the key stakeholder isn't at the meeting. When this happens, we often go around and around, but no one can make a decision or answer a question because the person with that power, authority or knowledge isn't at the meeting. 

Be sure the key players are at the meeting for that particular item if you put it on the agenda.  

6) Do we have time for that discussion?
Some discussions take time. When an agenda is crammed full, and we throw a topic in there and expect to brush over it, that often causes frustration for the people in attendance. They won't have time to explore, ask questions, provide suggestions and dig deeper. 

Brainstorming, for example, cannot be done well in three minutes. If an agenda item needs more time, create a separate meeting for it.

7) Is this the most efficient use of our time?
Pulling a team together is costly and takes significant organizational time and resources. So make sure you're using that time and those resources wisely.

8) If this is a sensitive conversation, is it the right time to discuss it?
Even though some topics are relevant for everyone, sometimes those conversations are difficult. It's not always the right time to discuss them. That may have to do with what's going on organizationally, in the world, or someone's family. Remember to be sensitive about the topic you put on your agenda. 

9) Consider the urgency of the matter.
Even though everything may be relevant to the agenda, that doesn't mean it needs to go on the agenda. If it's not an urgent topic and the agenda is already full, hold onto that topic for a future meeting. Give time and attention to the most pressing things, not just for you in the organization but also for your employees. 

10) Is this the right place for this agenda item?
Lastly, once you've decided that it does go on the agenda, be considerate of where you place it on the agenda. 

Things that need more discussion and focus should be done earlier on. 
Additionally, things that need more composure for a difficult conversation should be done earlier. 

You want to end on a positive, uplifting note. Therefore ensure the last item will make people feel good as they leave the meeting. 

Running an effective and engaging staff meeting is much easier when you are more conscious and intentional about creating your staff meeting agenda. 

DO THIS:
1) Schedule a few minutes into your calendar to prepare your agenda.
2) Consider what belongs on your agenda, running potential items through the above list of questions.
3) Feel confident, capable and in control as you run your next team meeting. 

Preparing is one of the first steps to feeling more confident running a staff meeting. When you prepare your staff meeting with intention, you will feel more confident, and your team will find it much more valuable and engaging. ​

​
Do you love to learn? Perhaps not. I know that not everyone is a lover of learning like me. But what I also know is that learning is part of leadership. It's necessary if you want to be an effective leader to continue to grow and develop yourself.

But if you struggle with the learning component, it's hard to make it happen on an ongoing and effective basis. Yet when you do, the results are astounding.

• When you learn to manage your emotions, you can stay composed during a meeting even though you get triggered.
• TRY THIS: Managing Your Emotions at Work

 

• When you learn the difference between coaching and corrective conversations, you spend more time coaching your employees than correcting them. 
• TRY THIS: Creating Comfortable Coaching Conversations

 

• When you learn what not to put on the supervision meeting agendas, even though everyone else tells you you should, you find staff meetings way more effective at building your team and having them do what they're supposed to do. 
• TRY THIS: Staff Supervision That Transforms

Is your learning too shallow?
Learning in a way that helps you apply it and get value from it requires some effort. So often, when we learn, we're just going shallow. We read a book, listen to a podcast or attend a session at a conference and get some good ideas. And that's as far as it goes. Perhaps you apply one of them, but more often than not, it's a fleeting thought.


What if you spent 3 weeks diving deep into how to develop your employees?

Mark These Leadership Training Suggestions

Consider taking a topic like learning how to develop your employees. For example, perhaps you listened to Strengths-Based Leadership on your commute to work. Then you listened to 10 Ways to have better conversations with your team leads and discussed it. Additionally, you completed the course Staff Supervision That Transforms.


Do you do this as you learn?
As you read the book, listened to the video, and completed the training, you wrote down what you were learning. You also had a couple of discussions with a peer who read the same book. On those calls, you added any new learnings or deeper understandings of how to apply the concepts to your notes. Then over the 3 weeks, you went back to your notes regularly. You added to your notes what you continued to learn as it related to your day-to-day world. You also became intentional in identifying where you could practice or apply the concepts. 


What would you expect would be different in your leadership abilities?
Can you even imagine the change you might experience? I bet you would feel way more confident! Think about it. It's only a 3-week commitment. That's it. And it wouldn't require much time, just intentional scheduling of your time. 


Will you make a 3-week commitment that allows you to go deep on a subject?
To be a stronger leader, you must go deep on one subject rather than bounce from book to podcast blog, but never really dive deep. Are you ready to dive in?

1. Slow down, pick one topic, and learn about it in different ways. 
2. Consider how the concepts translate into your world. 
3. Apply the concepts. 
4. See if they work, what needs work, and try again.

Keep reading as we break it down more as you learn to create your 3-week learning plan.


How to deepen your learning into a leadership topic in 3 weeks

If you want to dive deep into a topic, here are three strategies. Once you've picked the topic:


1️⃣ Identify 3 places you will learn about that topic
There are a ton of places to learn from. Pick 3 that will give you various insights, perspectives and strategies. 

• Read a book
• Take a course
• Interview people
• Listen to podcasts
• Do online research  

 2️⃣ Identify 3 ways you will integrate that learning

1. Write about the concepts and how they relate to your work.
2. Have a conversation with someone else who's learning about the same thing and talk about how it applies to your work 
3. Create a tool measurement for scoring your implementation. For example, in Wellness at Work, my students measure their engagement at work and see if it changes. They use a Likert scale to measure:

• How involved were you in what mattered most at WORK? 
• On a scale of 1-10, how much time were you (1) Fighting Fires or (10) focusing on what matters most?
• Were you enthusiastic most days at WORK? 
• On a scale of 1-10, how much time were you (1) drained or (10) enthusiastic?
• Did you feel committed, not trapped, to your work & workplace? 
• On a scale of 1-10, how much time were you (1) feeling trapped or (10) feeling committed

** You can access the worksheet that measures this and so much more in the first lesson of Wellness At Work.


3️⃣ Identify a time to review your learning
Set aside 15 minutes and answer these questions

1. Do I feel like I've learned enough about this topic? What else do I need to learn?
2. Do I feel I've spent enough time strategizing how the ideas fit into my work? Where needs more attention?
3. What's the next step with this topic for me? When will I take it?

When you set aside three weeks to deepen your learning about a topic, integrate your knowledge by implementing strategies, and practice it, you'll find that a quick dive into learning something has benefited you exponentially. ​

Do you wonder how to be the best leader you can be? One who makes a difference, has a great team and finds some balance in life? 

Unfortunately, it's not the easiest thing to do. One of the reasons we struggle is that we don't see a lot of other women doing it, so part of us doesn't believe it's even possible. We need more women mentors. I keep looking for them and sharing them with you so we both have more inspiration.

Let me introduce you to Yvette Vargas.

I was listening to an interview with Yvette, Head of Development at Citizen's Bank in the states. Yvette was part of a Women in Leadership conversation series for LHH, an organization that focuses on recruitment, assessments, coaching, and career transitions.

I found Yvette's story, persistence and intentional personal and professional growth as a woman leader inspiring. So many of the suggestions she made for women in leadership had me thinking of the four fundamentals I teach leaders.

Let's dive into them together.

The four fundamentals of leadership:

1. Be yourself
2. Develop yourself
3. Take care of yourself
4. Teach others to do the same

Lead with Authenticity - Be yourself
On Citizen's Bank website, Yvette is quoted as saying, "I used to have separate selves — mother to my children, wife to my husband, caretaker to my parents, employee and friend. I thought that compartmentalizing my 'different selves' would help me manage each relationship better," she said. However, it's only by working to integrate her selves — and finding a job that allows her to bring every aspect of herself to work — that she's found true meaning in her career.

This quote speaks to the authentic nature that we need to lead with. We are not separate people in different aspects of our lives. We are one person doing various things. The more authentic you are, the more confident and comfortable you will feel, and you'll make a more considerable contribution.

To help you lead your best, I encourage you to identify your strengths, gifts, and personality traits. Then, do the work to figure out who you are and authentically be who you are daily. 


START HERE:

• Begin by identifying and clarifying your values in the Values Verification course.
• Then move on to identifying your VIA character strengths.

Continue to grow yourself personally and professionally - Develop yourself
Intentionally developing yourself is critical to becoming the leader you want to be. Yvette spoke in the interview about being very intentional about this. She indicated you need to develop your growth plant and intentionally spend time working on yourself. 

"The amount of time you spend on something is a manifestation of what you value."

If you value your growth and development, you'll put time into growing and developing yourself. 


START HERE:

•  Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development
•  Evaluate your Training and Growth 

Be a balanced leader - Take care of yourself
4️⃣As I listened to Yvette, I could tell she has drive. That's different than being driven. When the work drives you, it becomes a problem. When you drive the work, you do that with intentionality. You also need the energy to do that! That means you need to take care of yourself. 

But Yvette wasn't always that way. She tells the story of needing to shift from being driven by her career to intentionally creating her life and career simultaneously—that required intentionality and self-care.

Taking care of yourself it's not something you do just outside of work. It is something you do all day long. Start by adding teach micro-moments of wellness into your workday.


START HERE:

• Learn how to add Wellness AT Work
• Take 5 minutes to take care of yourself

Be a leader, teacher, mentor and coach - Teach others to do the same

I love Yvette's story of supporting other women to grow and pulling them up as you advance. She learned this early on from her mother and sisters. She's been clear about continuing to do it throughout her career. She sees a large part of her role is developing others. 

When we teach others to be themselves, develop themselves and take care of themselves, we do this through mentoring, guidance, coaching and leadership. Our job as a leader is not always correct and fix employees. Our job as leaders is to help our employees reach their full potential.


START HERE:

• Learn how to do: Staff Supervision That Transforms
• Create Comfortable Coaching Conversations with your employees

The four fundamentals of leadership:

1. Be yourself
2. Develop yourself
3. Take care of yourself
4. Teach others to do the same

To learn more about these fundamentals, tune into this episode of the podcast.


What strategy, suggestion, or idea will you begin with today? Hit reply and tell me where you are starting and what you are inspired to awaken in yourself after listening to Yvettes' story.

Perhaps as a nonprofit leader, I'm guessing you can relate to my challenge. I was nattering along in my head the other day about something not going right, as we all do at times! Suddenly I stopped myself, and out loud, I said, "Thank you. That's not part of the vision."


My negative mind chatter needed to change fast!
The direction I was going with my mind chatter was definitely not the direction I wanted it to be going in my head or my life. Swirling down with negativity was not going to help my situation. Instead, pausing, expressing gratitude, and then reminding myself of my vision was much more helpful.


I shifted my mind with this powerful statement.
The statement "Thank you. That's not part of my vision" comes from the book The Ant and the Elephant, which I read last week. In this easy, quick read by Vince Poscente, he encourages us to realize the enormous potential of our unconscious mind and how that can help us lead ourselves and others. 

I totally recommend this book to any leader who wants to inspire and motivate their team.


Don't get caught up in this trap.
What happens for many of us is that we tend to focus on what's wrong and try and fix it. But unfortunately, focusing on what's wrong makes us pessimistic, which leads to frustration, bitterness, anger, resentment etc. You get the picture.


It won't help you create an engaged team.
Feeling negative, bitter and frustrated doesn't make you feel any better, and it certainly doesn't motivate and inspire those around you to do better. Furthermore, that kind of attitude will not engage your team; it also helps to make your employees feel connected, inspire loyalty and thus encourage retention of good employees. 

Instead, when you can pull in towards the vision with inspiration, you'll get a whole different response. 


Gratitude makes the important shift in attitude that will create engagement.
Starting with gratitude is not often thought of as a tool to lead well. Sure it's a happiness booster and something we like to add for feel good extras but using gratitude as a staple in leadership is not something many of us have been taught or currently practice. But it is.


Now, back to my learning from The Ant and the Elephant. Why is this statement, "Thank you. That's not part of the vision," so powerful for leaders? Let's break down each component.


How to use gratitude to be a better nonprofit leader in 3 easy steps

First, we have to pause
First, we have to pause.
Pausing helps us get out of a negativity cycle, reactionary mode and brings us back to the present moment. In addition, it evokes mindfulness, something we all need a bit more of.


Second, we express gratitude.
Second, we express gratitude. Thank you.

The trick is that you can't be angry and grateful simultaneously. You can't be bitter, frustrated and annoyed and feel a sense of appreciation inside of you.

Expressing gratitude recognizes that, while maybe we are where we want to be, there are lessons to be learned about how we got here. Perhaps we are grateful for the reminder to get out of the negativity cycle. But gratitude turns us around.


Finally, we redirect our thoughts.
Finally, we redirect our thoughts. That's not part of the vision.
Do you have a vision? This statement reminds us that we need a vision individually and as leaders. It's an opportunity for us to reconnect to that vision and connect those around us to the vision.

Remember, if you don't know where you're going, any path will get you there. Leading your team around aimlessly is not going to help you generate engagement, motivate people or inspire loyalty. 

So you need to know where you're going! 

• What vision do you have for the type of leader you want to be
• What's the vision you have for the kind of team you want to lead
• What's your vision for the impact you want you and your team to make?

When you pull all these three together, you can see how important each piece is.

1. Pause
2. Express gratitude
3. Connect to the vision

Pausing and starting with gratitude is not always easy. Gratitude seems too easy or too fluffy. But, gratitude is more than that.


Gratitude isn't a thing. It's a feeling.
It is not just an attitude of gratitude. Nor is it simply to practice gratitude. It starts with a feeling of gratitude. When I say feel, I mean that literally ⬇️


We need to feel the transcendent sensation of 🙏🏻 gratitude in our bodies.
We need to feel it inside of us before we express it verbally.
We need to feel it viscerally before the expression of gratitude can be genuine.
And when we do this often, we create a culture of gratitude that pulls our team in, engages them and inspires them.


Here is an example of the 3 steps in practice
Let's imagine the employee it's a negative comment under staff meeting. You've just shared a slight shift to the new procedure. One way to respond is to get defensive and explain it again, this time a little bit louder with more emphasis. We all know how that's gonna go! 


Another way is to say:
"Thank you for sharing your views. Your frustration shows you care.
I know changes aren't always easy. However, the vision I have is that once we get through the sticky parts of the change, and yes, we may still have to make some amendments, but once we get through all of those, I'm expecting that we'll find it makes a big difference for our client's outings."


Thank you! That's not part of the vision! But let me tell you what is part of the vision...
 
Extra resources for leadership gratitude
This month in The Training Library, my students are receiving a new lesson on gratitude for leaders.


As a member of The Training Library, you'll receive a video lesson giving you strategies for implementing gratitude as a leader. Additionally, the worksheet students receive will take you from simply expressing "I'm grateful for..." to a whole other way of thinking about gratitude each day and applying it to your own life and your leadership.


Inspiring your team - 3 steps:

1. It starts with pausing.
2. Then, feeling and then expressing gratitude.
3. Finally, connecting to your vision.

When you apply these three steps daily, you'll be on your way to enjoying impactful leadership.

Even for nonprofit leaders, summer feels different for most of us. The sun is shining, the weather is warmer, and kids are out of school. That, however, for most of us, doesn't mean we don't have to work.

We still need to get things done. It's just a different pace for most of us, and that slower pace gives opportunities to do other things.

Last week we talked about 4 easy steps to keep your nonprofit productive on projects over summer. This week we are going to cover three things to do this summer that will make you a better leader.

Three things to do this summer that will make you a better leader

​
1 - Clean your desk

Often the clutter gathers, the piles grow taller, and the sticky notes begin to blend together. The physical clutter creates mental clutter. 

👉 DO THIS: Set aside a half hour to sort through what's on your desk.
This time doesn't have to be a deep dive into everything that's there, but we orient yourselves to what is there. You may create piles for these 3 areas:

• Do it - schedule it in
• Delegate it - put their name on it asap
• Ditch it - into the garbage it goes!

Creating physical space will create mental space. If you need more mental space, read this: 3 tips for helping you create thinking moments.


2 - Read a book

Whether you're a regular reader or not, make sure that you set aside some time in summer to read at least one leadership book and one nonwork-related book. Both will help you come up with new ideas, grow yourself and relax. In addition, this list will help you find some books if you're interested.

👉 DO THIS: Schedule a few minutes to order a book, borrow a book or ask for a book recommendation from someone.
Here are some suggestions: Read these 6 impactful books this summer | Feel your leadership confidence grow


3 - Ask for feedback

Sadly, leaders rarely get specific, helpful feedback. Summer, when it is potentially a bit quieter, is a perfect time to set up some one-to-one time with some of your employees to solicit that kind of feedback.

👉 DO THIS: Schedule some time with a few of your employees. Perhaps it's a walk in the park, sitting at the picnic table or an online call where you're both on your decks. When you create the space for a relaxed chat, it's the opportunity to ask for some feedback in a more friendly way. 

Here are three questions you can ask your employee to get valuable feedback:

1. What's been the most helpful thing I've done for you in the last six months
2. If you could have a little bit more of my time, what would you use it for?
3. When we sit down next summer to talk, what do you want to say I've done to help you grow?

If you are looking for more tips for feedback, this webinar may help: Gather input to reach your potential

When you take time this summer to do something different to focus on your leadership development, you'll find yourself growing both personally and professionally. 

What else do you try to get done over the summer to help you be a better nonprofit leader? Add your ideas below so we can all inspire each other!

Are you anxious about losing momentum over the summer on some key projects and initiatives that your team is working on? As employees move into summer mode, the ability to keep things rolling can be challenging and trying for leaders.

Fear not! Here are 5 ways to use summer to gain momentum rather than lose it.

I'm distracted before holiday time
When I am getting ready to go on vacation, the final working days are focused on tying up loose ends so that nothing unravels while I'm gone. My mind is on red flags and potential hotspots. I am not focused enough to be able to sit down and do the deep thinking that is often required on larger projects.

I'm trying to get caught up when I get back
Upon returning from vacation, the following days are dedicated to putting out any fires that arose, catching up on the office happenings and trying to clean out my inbox. Unfortunately, once again, I am not usually in the right frame of mind to be able to dig deep on a project.

The day or two before we leave on holiday and certainly the days after 
we come back are often considered write-offs for most people. Combine everyone's time off, and it seems like a lost few months.

Therefore when someone is away for a week, it feels like you've lost two weeks to focus on a project. Add to that the sunshine, ice cream cones and the kids being out of school as distractions, and it's even harder over summer to get anything done at the office. So it's easy to see how we can lose momentum in team projects as people alternate being away for summer vacation. 

A leader can choose to see summer differently
As the leader in charge, it can be disheartening for you to see a project come to a standstill. However, projects do not have to get derailed over the summer. When you step back and see the gift in this shift of office rhythm over summer, you can put it to good use!

Summer schedules can allow more focused project time
The truth is you can accomplish a lot over summer because there are fewer distractions in many ways. In summer, there are fewer people in the office, fewer meetings and generally a slower pace. Use this to your advantage to get ahead on some of the components of the project.



5 ways to use summer to gain momentum 
rather than lose it



1️⃣ First, break the project down between group
and individual tasks


A meeting between two people can be more effective than a large group meeting. 


👥 A duo can:

• get ideas rolling
• outline options 
• create a starting point for the larger group to work from. 

🙋‍♀️ Individually, you can:

• Review the material instead of waiting until the meeting and asking someone to explain it to you. 
• Identify questions and email them to people so they can prepare their answers. 
• Complete research
• Prepare statistics
•  Draft specific written portions of the work

 


2️⃣ Block off time to work on the project


Our role as leaders is often mentoring. Therefore, summer is an excellent time to show how to get things done despite the season. Typically our calendars are less scheduled in the summer. As a result, it's easy almost to get almost lazy as we go through days. 

📆 Schedule time into your calendar
When you block off a set time to work on a project in your agenda, it gives you the ability to focus during those 2 hours. 

🗣 Communicate your intentions
Tell those around you that you are unavailable and not to disrupt you. Treat the time you have identified as if it were a meeting with another person. This not only keeps others from chatting with you but adds in the layer of accountability. By clearly identifying to others that we are working on a project, you tend to feel more motivated to stay on task. After all, if you say you are working on it, you should have something to show for it after. 

🙋‍♀️ Get others to participate
Ask participants on the team also to identify a block of time or times when they are working alone on the project. Have them identify what precisely they will be doing during that time. Ensure they commit to their part by a specific date. 

✅ Keep everyone accountable
Hold each other accountable for what you say you will be working on. Set conversation times with others for the afternoon when it is easier to get derailed. Perhaps meet out at the picnic table or do a walking meeting. Getting outside will infuse creativity and innovation into your conversation and give you some time to enjoy all that summer has to offer.



3️⃣ Set realistic goals for summer



Start by looking at a calendar and people's schedules to determine how much time you have to work on the project over the summer period. 

• Identify how many hours ⏳ you truly have to work on the project.

 

• Consider what you can accomplish 🤔 with that amount of time

 

• Write down your 📈 plans and targets. Be specific about:
• The smaller project components
• Who's responsible for which parts
• Deadlines, due dates and targets

🖥 Put the summer plan and targets in a place everyone has access to. Having identified targets to work on keeps people motivate and on board.



4️⃣ Build in frequent review systems



Review is a critical component of goal achievement. It keeps people aware, engaged and interested. Listed below are some ways to develop a review system for your team.

• Use online project management software such as Trello, Basecamp, Clickup or Asana to keep track of the parts of the project, persons responsible and deadlines. 
• Use a Google or Microsoft document that all team members have access to, allowing you to keep track of what parts have been completed and what needs reviewing. 
• Have weekly 10-minute conference calls for whoever is in attendance to update what is happening. Have them recorded so others can listen to them when they return from holidays to keep up to date. The key is these review sessions need to be very short and entirely on task. 

Get excited and lead your team to a productive summer
Please don't throw up your hands now and say it's useless to get anything done this summer. Instead, give yourself a knowing smile as you:

1. Set the intention that you will get more done this summer.
2. Get clear on what you are doing to do, when and who's responsible.
3. Choose to lead productively through summer rather than give up.
4. Make sure you and your team set a date for celebration to acknowledge the focused concentration over the summer!

What will you do to keep the momentum going in your summer project? Hit reply and let me know!


Is it time for you to work on you?
Is summer a time when you want to recommit to your learning journey, set your personal and professional goals, and get started on the next steps? You may be interested in this series of training in my membership site The Training Library 

• COURSE: My Training and Growth Annual Analysis: 
• WEBINAR: Create Your Quarterly Goal Setting & Planning Strategy
• WEBINAR: Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development
• WEBINAR: Quarterly Review

"Can I interrupt you for a second – do you have a minute?"

This is the sound of productivity being shot through the roof. However, every day, we need to decide how much time we want to spend focusing on our work and how much time we want to give to our nonprofit staff.

The other morning I had an interruption just as I started my workday. I bet you've had that happen to you. Just as you begin something, there's a knock at the door or a text or phone call. 

How do you know when to deal with or ignore the interruption?
Consciously deciding when to let interruptions in and when not helps you focus on what you need to focus on when you need to, set clear boundaries, and be there for people when they need them. Learning to balance your people and your projects is a balancing act for most leaders.

We need to get stuff done. We have reports to write, emails to send, applications to fill out, preparation for meetings, and all the other stuff that goes along with achieving our mission-driven work. 

Effective leaders learn to balance the "task work" with being in relationship with (aka being there for) the people who do our organization's client and community work. 

The question is: 
How do you know when to let the people side of your work interrupt the task side of your work and, conversely, when to stay focused on the task?

My interruption
My interruption this morning was from my granddaughter. School is out now. When I see my granddaughter's name pop up on my phone, I know that she's likely looking for some attention or that something is wrong. She's ten years old and home alone in the morning for a couple of hours. I answered my phone to discover she wanted to borrow some eggs so she could make herself French toast.

Your interruption
For you, it may be a staff that needs to look over their work, a crisis that has blown up, or somebody who wants to pick your brain. You may have a good idea of who the interruption is from and be able to use that information to help you make a decision. 

How I dealt with my interruption
In addition to wanting to borrow eggs, my granddaughter wanted to know when I was going for a walk, and I could tell she was bored. So I told her to come over and get the eggs, and I would look and let her know when my break was later in the day so we could go on a walk together.

How you can deal with your interruptions
Learning how to deal with interruptions in a way that feels good to you starts when you build a framework around decisions making. Here are 3 steps to consider to help you make decisions about interruptions you can feel good about. 



STEP # 1 - Start by being clear with what's on your agenda

While I didn't have calls scheduled for that early in the morning, I did have a project I was working on slotted into that time frame. Awareness of your agenda items is one of the critical factors in deciding whether to allow yourself to be interrupted. Scheduling in non-meeting tasks creates a meeting with yourself, a commitment and a tool for determining if you will let the interruption in.

🤔 Ask yourself these questions:

• What did you have planned during that time? 
• Is it something time-sensitive, or is there some flexibility in it? 

I was working on a project that wasn't due for a few days. So while there was some flexibility, it wasn't something that I could push off for too long. 


STEP # 2 - Set clear boundaries
I told my granddaughter she could come over and get the eggs, but I didn't have time for a long chitchat. However, even though I set that boundary, she lingered when she showed up, and I had to nudge her out the door after about nine hugs! 

You've been there, right? You answer the question or deal with the issue, and then you do the typical nonverbals to suggest that the conversation is over. You even may say something like, ok, I better get back at it and yet they still stand there, ask more questions, hem and haw etc. Here's the tricky part about allowing interruptions. It's creating a time frame boundary around the interruption.

🗣 Try using these phrasesYou will need to be extremely clear on the timelines upfront and continue to communicate those timelines throughout

Here's an example

• I can only give you 10 minutes this morning, so let's get started right away.
• We only have two minutes left. What do you need me to really answer before we finish up?
• I know 10 minutes wasn't a lot of time for you. Do we need to schedule more later when I can give you more time?

The clearer you can be with your boundaries, the easier it is to hang up the phone, end the chat, or shut the door at the end of the interruption.

As much as my granddaughter wanted to linger, I knew it was time for her to go as I walked her to the door. I followed up, ensuring she knew what time I had a break later and that I would message her to go for a walk with her then. I didn't brush her off. Instead, I scheduled time to connect with her when I could give her my undivided attention.


STEP # 3 - Know what's important to you

I had to know what's important to me, what I value
Finally, it's essential to know and understand your values. Family is incredibly important to me. My granddaughters mean the world to me, but I'm also committed very deeply to the work I do for you. Balancing connection to family and deep, meaningful work has been a lifelong challenge. It's not something that comes easily, there is no quick formula, and the parameters will continually change.

You, too, need to be clear on what you value
My advice to you here is to be as transparent in your mind as possible. Try these two questions.

1. What's important at this moment?
2. When I look back three years from now, what's the decision I will want to have made?

❤️ Start with verifying your values
Through the Values Verification course exercises, I recognized that my top value is not family. Instead, my top value is excellence. That clarity around what is ultimately important to me helps me make these decisions more clearly. 

How can I provide excellent quality to you and, at the same time, be an excellent grandma? The answer is by giving quality time and attention to the project that I had scheduled for that morning and quality time and attention to my granddaughter.

I had to be "excellent" in both areas
If I had let my granddaughter interrupt my morning for any longer than I did, I would not have been an excellent grandma; I would've been a distracted grandma. Letting her interrupt the time I had scheduled for the project would have made me feel edgy. I would have been thinking about what I "should" be doing. I would have been trying to end the little visit multiple times, but discreetly, so she didn't feel like I was finishing it. It would have come across as icky for both of us.

I honoured my value of excellence in two areas of my life by setting and communicating clear boundaries and scheduling time for both areas. 

• First, I set the parameters in the morning around how much time I could give my granddaughter (aka enough to provide her with the eggs and nine hugs) and offered time later in the day when I could give her my undivided attention. In this way, I focused on the relationships in my life that are important to me.
• Then, I completed my task work with a clear mind and in a timely fashion. 

3 questions to help you feel good about the decisions you make

Making decisions about interruptions like this doesn't come easily or quickly.
It takes time to understand how to make these decisions more quickly. That time often comes through after-the-fact self-reflection.


✏️ Take a moment to think about your decisions in the last 24 hours. 

1. What factors did you use to make those decisions?
2. What values came into play? 
3. Would you make the same decision again? 
4. Would you communicate in the same way?

Engaging in ongoing self-reflection helps you prepare for future decisions, communicate boundaries, and apologize when you get it wrong because we likely will more than once.

Sometimes it is worth letting someone interrupt you, and sometimes it isn't
Time, or lack thereof, is the biggest bottleneck for most nonprofit leaders because there are so many other demands on your time and attention beyond your core mission. There are always more things that you need to do. However, we also learn to balance what time we give time to our people and when to use it for projects.

Being clear with what's on your agenda, knowing what's important to you and communicating clear boundaries will help you be both productive and create engagement with your nonprofit team!

READ THIS NEXT: 
3 Decision-making mistakes you may be making and quick the fixes
Episode # 58 - Learn a decisive decision-making hack and how to use it - For women leaders
Nonprofit Leaders | 10 important questions you must ask before your next decision

Summer is kicking off; for many of us, this means extra reading time. If your reading list and maybe it's lacking in the leadership department. Here are a few suggestions I have for you to add to your summer reading list:

Summer Reading Book Suggestions 

📚 Digital Body Language by Erica Dhawan

Some of us are still virtual, some hybrid. However, even if you're in the office full time, my guess is many of the meetings you have are virtual. On top of that, much of our communication is often via email, messenger or text. This book helps you understand the body language of digital communication. It's fascinating and beneficial. 
p.s. the PDF file that comes with the audio version is phenomenal! 
Find the book here


📚 Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

This book is not a book to read from front to back. Instead, it's a reference book you'll hopefully return to regularly. So take some time to skim through it and dig deeper into the parts that pull you in. This book helps you understand emotions and feelings and expands your emotional vocabulary. Developing your emotional vocabulary is extremely helpful if you want to increase your emotional intelligence and be a more composed and emotionally in control leader.
Find the book here


📚 The Five Levels of Attachment by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr

You'll recognize the author if you've read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. However, this book is by Don Miguel's son. He goes through how we attach to ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Recognizing how tightly you've grasped your view helps to loosen your grip so that you can see others' points of view, develop new awarenesses and grow yourself. 
Find the book here


📚 The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

Oh my goodness! No, this is not a leadership book. Today it is rated #1 in Literary Graphic Novels, #4 in Happiness, and #5 in Ethics & Morality 
But so many life lessons and reminders help put our lives into perspective. I listened to the audio version, which is less than an hour long and beautifully read by the author. I have replayed segments of it when I need those little reminders. 
Find the book here

I thought about doing a book club on this book. So if you read it, let me know if you'd be interested in that. 


📚 Think Again by Adam Grant

Much of our thinking is unconscious. I'm often encouraging you to be more conscious with your thinking. In this book, you learn ways that thinking can help us and some of how it can get in the way. The ideas open your eyes to how you may want to engage in conversations with different people differently, explore other people's thoughts, get their input and work together. 
Find the book here


📚 Mastering Confidence by Kathy Archer

Yes, I am also recommending my book. In in, I provide you with a framework for managing your thoughts. When your doubt, hesitation, and fear of imposter syndrome get in the way of leading, presenting, engaging in difficult conversations or running a staff meeting, it doesn't feel very good! This framework helps you rein in those thoughts and gives you structure you can return to when your thoughts begin to get the better of you again. 
Find the book here


What books would you add to the list? Comment below so the rest of us can add to our reading list too!


There are plenty of ways to brush up on your leadership skills this summer. Picking up one of these six books is a good start and see how a new perspective, idea or strategy can boost your confidence as a leader.