KATHY ARCHER
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How and why you MUST lead with your strength of character

15/9/2023

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Do you often wonder what you must DO to be a better leader?
  • What training do you need to take?
  • What meetings should you attend?
  • How often should you meet with your people?
These questions revolve around what actions you need to DO?

While those are important components of leadership, the critical question is deeper than that. It's not what you have to DO to be a good leader; the question is: Who do you need to BE to be a good leader?
 
Be?
Yes, BE!
Who do you need to BE to be a good leader?



Consider the HOW of what you DO

Take a moment to consider who are you BEING when you do your job?

  • Anyone can run a meeting. But HOW do you run a meeting?
 
  • Executive Directors, Managers and Team Leaders always communicate with their team. But HOW do you communicate with your team?
 
  • What type of leader are you BEING when you address an employee's poor performance or share positive outcomes with the team?
 
  • Who are you BEING when the crisis hits?



Have you ever considered your character?
Who you are BEING when you do your job is a description of your character. It's the essence of who you are. But we don't talk about it.

🤔 When did your manager last talk with you about developing your character? 

🤷🏼‍♀️ When did you last consider why it might be important to develop your character? 

🤨 Have you ever wondered how to build your character? 

For most of us, the answer is never! It may be time to consider it. 


How you are BEING is a description of your character
Your character is your unique combination of who you are:
  • personality traits
  • values
  • ethics
  • morals
No two of us are the same. The problem is that we typically don't think about who we are BEING or our character as we lead our team. Instead, we follow the model of leadership passed down for generations. And honestly, most of us don't fit into that model. ​
Feeling like the imposter?
When we don't feel like ourselves while leading, we assume that's how it should be or that perhaps we aren't leading correctly. But when we are out of touch with our true selves, we feel awkward, fake, or like we are messing up. There is this enormous gap between who we believe we should be and who we actually are. That leaves us unsure of where to turn and not really satisfied.


When you develop your character, you'll be happier!
You will feel better, more fulfilled, and positively influence those around you if you take the time to cultivate your character. Instead of stepping into the role and trying to lead how you should lead when you develop your character, you will learn to lead from your character strengths. 

🎭 Rather than feeling like you're putting on a persona or mask for each encounter and interaction, you will feel more authentic and more productive and impactful.


Why don't we lead with our character strengths?
Most of us are genuinely unaware of our true selves. We've lost sight of our true selves as we transitioned through our teen years, started families, and advanced in our careers. Many of us don't know what makes us tick because, quite frankly, we don't know what our best gifts and talents are. And we have no idea how to use them to lead. We've never tried to find, unearth, or awaken them.
 
🤨 Who are you?


Back to describing character 
Once again, consider how we describe other people and how others might describe you.
Pay attention to the word character in each of these sentences👇🏻

🟪 Often, we talk about someone's character in GENERAL statements such as, 
  • I admire her character.
  • We might say someone has sound character.
  • In a tongue-in-cheek tone, we might chuckle, saying, Boy, she's quite the character!
  • At other times, we might whisper to a friend, suggesting That was out of character for her.
  • Alternately, we groan as we watch someone do something and say She just damaged her character by doing that! ​

🟪 Now, think about SPECIFIC POSITIVE descriptions of other people's character traits. Consider again how people might describe your traits. These are some ways we speak in awe of certain women's characteristics:
  • She is so reliable.
  • I love her honesty.
  • What grace she has!
  • That is a woman of integrity.
  • Such determination and persistence.
  • I appreciate her ability to be decisive.
  • She has a clear head on her shoulders.
 
🟪 Don't forget that not all character traits are good. Here are some SPECIFIC NEGATIVE traits
Reflect on this list below. These are times we cringe at character traits that some women exude:
  • She's so cold.
  • I can't trust her. 
  • She's so inconsistent.
  • She's got her favourites!
  • She only cares about herself.
  • She's condescending and demeaning.
  • I'm tired of her micromanaging everything I do.
 
I hope you are now seeing how important it is to cultivate and develop your character.


How your character is defined:
A little overview: Your character is your unique combination of traits distinguishing you from others. It is how others perceive you, not how you describe yourself. Let me say that again. Your character is someone else's perspective of you. It's not how you see yourself and wish others would see you. You certainly can impact or influence what others think about you, and you should. Ultimately, how people describe your character is their perception, which makes character development tricky.
 
Perhaps you wonder if character development is about getting people to like you. 🙅🏼‍♀️ No, that's not quite it.

Your job as a leader is to guide people to a vision 👀
by inspiring them to grow 🌱
and helping them develop 🧩
so that together, you can reach your shared vision 🙌🏻

Your influence and impact on people can motivate them to be their best selves, which is incredibly helpful to reach team and organizational goals and serve clients. Achieving that level of impact on others may be easier if they like you. But still, it's less about people liking you and more about them respecting you.


Why you should care about how people define your character 
⭐️Your character is so important because it influences what people think about you and, therefore, its impact on them. 

When your character is strong, you have a good reputation. It's that reputation that garners others' respect. Someone doesn't have to like you to respect you. The two do not always go hand in hand.

However, when people on your team respect you, it allows them to be patient with you, persist for you, and push themselves. They'll often respect you because they believe in you, your message, and how you live that purpose, which is inextricably linked with your character. As such, they will conduct themselves in a certain way because you've inspired them, and they are motivated by your actions, your conduct and the type of person you are.


💡 How to lead with strong character

1️⃣ The first step
Start by noticing character, yours and others.
Keep a log, note on your phone or journal entry about character words you'd use to describe your or another's character.
​
2️⃣ The next step
Then, choose your character traits.
Pick words that you'd like others to use to describe you. What is the type of leader you want to BE?

3️⃣ Finally
Finally, cultivate your character
Do the work to grow and develop those character traits in yourself.
Next week, I'll introduce you to the strategies for developing your desired character traits and how to become the leader you want to be, having the impact you desire to have.
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Learn to Develop Your Character

If you want to learn more about developing your character and you are a member of The Training Library, check out the WEBINAR: Develop Your Strength of Character.

  • Character development takes time and is truly done through self-reflection and practice! The Training Library gives you the tools to do that ongoing self-reflection and practice with your team. Start today learning to be the best leader you can be and one who enjoys the rest of your life. Both are possible! 😉
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It's not Time's fault! How to get through your leadership to-do list

8/9/2023

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​​If you are like most leaders, you've been here:

You have a precious break in the day, so you look at your endless to-do list.
All tasks seem important, but you scan the list, looking for the priority items you can knock off in a few minutes. As you glance at each item, you make a mental note:
  • I don't have time to do that.
  • I still have time for that, so I can do it later.
  • I'm waiting for Angela's part. I can't do that.
  • That's not even my job. I don't know why I still do it.
  • I'm not in the right space to do that.
  • I don't even know how to do that.
  • Ugh, I hate doing those!​

Your to-do list is like an emotional roller coaster
In the time it takes to scan down the list, your emotions move from overwhelmed to anxious, then annoyed and doubtful, ending with discouraged.

Pushing the to-do list aside, you begin scrolling through your inbox without realizing you've avoided doing anything on the list and, as a result, get further behind and more disheartened 😩

I get it. I've been there many, many times too! In fact, if you are like most leaders, you have a lengthy to-do list that haunts you into the wee hours of the morning and, honestly, will never get done.

But why is it that we will never get through our to-do list?

💥The reason your to-do list will never get done is twofold

REASON # 1
First, it's a disorganized list that is more of a holding place than a completion place.
  • Your to-do list is a storage place for everything they should, might, and want to do, but without delineating between the items.
  • Your to-do list is a bunch of projects and tasks all jumbled together without any indication of which tasks belong with which projects and in what order.
  • Your to-do list is not only your tasks but embedded in between are things others need to do.


REASON # 2
Second, we look at the list as items that need time to be completed, and we blame lack of time as the enemy 😡 ⏰

It's way more complicated than just not enough time.
For example, look at your to-do list and consider:
  • Who else is involved in the tasks
  • The level of complexity in the tasks
  • How confident do you feel about taking on the tasks
  • What else is happening around you, such as distractions, projects, clients, what's going on in your personal life, and, of course, world issues
  • Your energy level, physical well-being, mental clarity and emotional capacity
 
Without taking all of that into consideration, our to-do list becomes an impossible challenge, and time becomes the enemy. But time is getting a bad rap. ❌ It's not ⏳ time's fault.

The time available to complete tasks is only one small factor in managing our to-do list. There are other things to consider. Below are three steps to help you manage your to-do list with much greater success👇🏻

QUESTION: How do I get done, what matters on my to-do list?
ANSWER: You create order and awareness.

1) First, start by prioritizing your to-do list into some semblance of order
That way, your to-do list can become a tool working for you instead of a threat against you. 
  • Use the 3-step weekly planning for leaders who want to get done what matters most

2) Next, let go of inappropriate expectations of your to-do list
You change expectations of your to-do list by shifting your mindset from believing your to-do list is a list of things that need doing to a holding place for projects and tasks.
  • David Allen's book Getting Things Done will help you make this mindset shift.

3) Finally, move a few key items to each day's agenda, plan or priorities
When you only have three things to get done each day, you will check them off with greater speed and satisfaction. 
  • Use the Eisenhower Matrix to help you prioritize what you should be working on today.
But we are still overlooking something

That covers the tactical side of getting through your to-do list. But there is something bigger that needs addressing.

🐘 The elephant in the room is the emotions you felt when you scanned the list. 
  • Jobs you hate doing can make you feel unmotivated, and there is a good chance you'll struggle to get them done. 
  • Tasks that you don't know how to do can leave you feeling unsure about where to start, doubtful you'll be able to pull it off and have a way of rearing imposter syndrome. 
  • When you know it's someone else's job, not yours, your resentment may get in the way of getting it done.

Your emotions play a big role in productivity
Many of us are unaware of our feelings, let alone how our emotions affect our productivity. We can choose our responses better by slowing down and getting a better awareness of what we are experiencing and how our emotions distract us from getting done what matters most.

If you want more help with this, read this next: Why Your Emotions Are Sabotaging Your Productivity
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​If you've been meaning to
  • grow yourself
  • become a better leader
  • learn to keep your composure
  • get better at having those tough talks
  • figure out how to finally do supervision right

​NOW is the time to plan HOW you will do that 👆🏻 growth.
  • If you need a place to start, The Training Library may be a good resource for you.
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3 Productivity Hacks for Leaders that are Guaranteed to Boost Your Mood

12/7/2023

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As a woman leading in the nonprofit sector, I know your days are filled with endless meetings, tight deadlines, and a never-ending to-do list. I've been there, and I know it's not always easy to stay motivated and positive when facing these challenges.

When I get behind, I get irritable ​😤 Any interruptions will annoy the crap out of me. The thing is, not only do I get short with others, but I also beat myself up.
  • Another lost day Kathy!
  • What is wrong with you?
  • You didn't get to that again?
  • Seriously Kathy! Is it that hard to stay focused?

The impact of less-than-productive days
You, too, likely feel irritated on less-than-productive days. You also know the consequences of how an unproductive day can spill into your evening. Being short with your staff is certainly not optimal, but a cutting remark with your child can leave you feeling inept in the parenting department.

I'd had enough of it!
This all-too-familiar cycle was the norm for me for years. The more determined I got in the last few years to do meaningful work, the more necessary it became to be productive. Changing a few things has made an incredible difference for me. I still have less productive times, but they are fewer and farther between. I end most weeks ticking everything off of my weekly list.

When you decide it's time to be more productive...this ↓
✅ Being more productive will help you take that weekly and daily to-do list and get them done. That way, you can shut off at the end of the day, knowing you completed what was needed. 

✅ Being productive at work frees up your mind and energy to shift into the rest of your life. Feeling upbeat when you come home at the end of your workday results in a much more enjoyable evening with your loved ones!
Let's dive into the three powerful productivity hacks that enhance efficiency and boost mood👇🏻
3 Productivity Hacks for Leaders
that are Guaranteed to Boost Your Mood
1 - Prioritize Self-Care

As a dedicated nonprofit leader, it's natural to put others before yourself.

However, taking care of your well-being is essential for maintaining a positive mindset and achieving productivity because:
     👉🏻 It's hard to focus when you are hangry. 
     👉🏻 It will take you way longer to create the document when you haven't left your desk for 3 hours straight.
     👉🏻 You'll find burnout knocking at your door if you don't take proper care of yourself.

If you neglect self-care, you're more likely to be unproductive, experience heightened stress levels, and eventually face burnout, just like my client Nancy.

NANCY'S STORY

🙋🏻‍♀️ Nancy was neglecting her physical and mental well-being, feeling exhausted, and struggling to be productive.
  • 🆘 She knew she needed HELP to get on track with proper self-care practices and to deal with the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed, irritable, and unable to manage her responsibilities effectively.

Nancy started with wanting to carve out time each day for self-care activities that rejuvenate her, like a morning meditation or an evening walk with the dogs, but she didn't always have the motivation to do that. Many of my clients have high aspirations like this but struggle to get there. To get moving in the right direction, I encourage them, like I encouraged Nancy, to start small and work to add micro-moments of wellness throughout her day. 

WHAT WORKED FOR NANCY

Nancy began working through the course Wellness AT Work and learned how to add micro-moments of wellness into her work day. She immediately found she was feeling healthier and more productive!

👉🏻 DO THIS: Add micro-moments of wellness into your day
Think about what you can do in one minute or less:
  • stretch your back
  • complete ten squats
  • have a drink of water
  • grab a healthy snack
  • walk around the office 
These micro-moments will help you rebuild your willpower to focus on your priorities.
​
Learn more about the Wellness AT Work COURSE
2 - Master Time Management

As a nonprofit leader, learning effective time management is a game-changer. Learning to manage your energy and priorities helps you have increased productivity and allows you to maintain a positive outlook.

Here are the basics:
     ✔️ Take time to plan your week, determining the top projects and tasks needing to be done.
     ✔️ Break your projects into tasks which makes them more manageable.
     ✔️ Each day, identify your top priorities for the day
     ✔️ Create time blocks in your calendar to work on allocating tasks
   ✔️ Embrace technology tools such as task management apps, calendars, and reminders to stay organized and on track. 
By maximizing your time and staying focused, you'll accomplish more while reducing stress, undoubtedly boosting your mood.

However, time management strategies alone won't be the simple answer.
🤔 You'll also need to manage what's happening in your head when you think about those tasks.
❗️ Just because you put "performance review" on your agenda
doesn't mean you'll eagerly jump into it at the allotted time.
If you are uncomfortable with conflict and know this review will be challenging, you may put it off unconsciously. Seeing it pop up on your list week after week requires you to start looking at the unconscious thoughts getting in the way.

🙋🏼‍♀️ SASHA'S STORY
Sasha knew that she was struggling with more than time management.
  • 🆘 She decided to use the worksheets from The Emotions of Time Management course to look at what internal roadblocks were getting in the way of some of the key tasks she struggled with.

WHAT WORKED FOR SASHA
For example, Sasha kept putting off the annual report. It had been on her list for a month, and now the pressure was on to finish it. As she worked through the exercises...
  • She realized she valued her clients and felt the data was almost sterile, lacking the truth behind the numbers. 
  • She also highlighted how overwhelmed she felt with the software into which she inputted the report.

💡 These two insights helped Sasha add some client stories to the report and ask for help with the software. She then reengaged in the task and completed it on time with a sense of pride rather than frustration.

👉🏻 DO THIS: Master your inner critic
Work through The Emotions of Time Management to help you apply the time management strategies despite your sabotaging thoughts.
Learn more about The Emotions of Time Management COURSE

3 - Make the best use of your productive times
​
🙋🏼‍♀️ MY STORY

 A few years ago, I took a deep dive into productivity. As an overachiever with high expectations of myself,
  • 🆘 I wanted to do more, do it better AND enjoy life. And I wanted to teach others to do the same. I had to figure it out first, so I could guide you on your journey. Here's some of what I learned👇🏻

🟦 Identify your most productive times
  • When is your energy highest?
  • When are you best able to focus? 
  • What time of day are you least likely to get interruptions? 
  • When do you have the most willpower to fend off distractions?
For many of us, this is in the morning. It may the 30 minutes before everyone else shows up. It could also be the hour after everyone comes in and then disperses. 9:30 – 10:30 am could be a golden hour for you. Still, others have a peak mid-afternoon. There is no right time. Tune in to notice yours.

🟦 During peak times, do the projects needing intense focus
What are the things that require a level of diligence and focus? 
reading over and digesting a report
  • writing a proposal 
  • filing in the spreadsheet
  • composing a discipline letter
For most of us, these task demand attentiveness and call forth a need for concentrated attention. Put these tasks into the times when you are most productive.​

WHAT WORKED FOR ME
🟦 Use your willpower wisely
Willpower is the age-old skill of self-control, restraint, strength, and determination. Willpower happens in your head.
     🗣️ Our mind chatter tries to get us to avoid pain.
     🗣️ That inner dialogue suggests to us, subconsciously, that doing a particular project on our to-do list hurts.
     🗣️ Our inner voice says that if we do the task in front of us, it will be painful, hard or troublesome.
So instead, that little gremlin 🗣️ inside suggests we check email again, move to a different project or head to Tik Tok, LinkedIn, or your favourite social media newsfeed. ​

👉🏻 DO THIS: Learn to manage your willpower
​Honestly, learning about willpower helped me the most with productivity. It takes resolve to push past that and get to work, especially agonizing jobs. To stay on task, get done the important work and leave feeling productive at the end of your day, you must activate your willpower. Start by:
     ✅ Understanding what willpower is and what it isn't
     ✅ Learning how to stop depleting your willpower unnecessarily.
     ✅ Learning how to get more willpower quickly when you need it most.


I took what I learned and put it into the course Willpower Essentials: Getting Done What Matters Most
 Learn more about the Willpower Essentials COURSE

​Remember, boosting your mood and enhancing your efficiency go hand in hand. Prioritize self-care, master time management, and learn to manage your willpower, and you'll find yourself accomplishing more while enjoying the journey.

Here is the thing, as a leader, you can inspire other women leaders in the nonprofit sector with your positive energy that will undoubtedly create a ripple effect within your organization and community. The choice is yours!
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​You may have noticed that I linked three different courses above. All of them are instantly accessible to you, plus many, many more, when you join The Training Library for $19.97/month.
 
🤔 How much do you pay for your Prime, Netflix, Google or Apple membership? 
Is your growth and development (also your sanity) not worth that much too?
Joining The Training Library gives you the tools to lead and live your best. I hope I'll see you in there soon!
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7 Magical Mantra's to Help You Navigate Difficult Conversations

22/6/2023

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As women leaders in nonprofit organizations, you often find yourself needing to navigate a challenging conversation. Whether addressing policy violations or managing performance issues, these discussions tend to evoke much 😩 angst and worry over how they will go. 


It's your job to have difficult conversations
But having difficult conversations is part of being a leader. The problem is that often when we think about these upcoming exchanges, we're trying to figure out how to have that conversation without thinking about the how. 👈🏻Yes, reread that sentence. As we rehearse an upcoming conversation in our heads, we are trying to figure out WHAT to say rather than HOW to say it.  


But you are missing a key component of preparations for these conversations
We meticulously plan our arguments, gather evidence, and outline our case.
To prepare, you:
  • Get the policy out, review it, and print a copy off to go over with them.
  • Make a list of how many times they've been late. 
  • Document everything they are supposed to be doing but not doing.
All of that is important, but WHO will you be, and HOW will you engage when you have that conversation?
We think less about HOW we will engage, connect, influence, impact, listen, hear, and understand.

Understanding. That's a good place to start. When we engage in a difficult conversation, we seek to be understood rather than to understand. So we gather the information but try to shut off who we are.


We want to be DETACHED in tough conversations
​I often hear women say I'm just going to go in, be clear, non-emotional, or detached.

But what they're really doing is going into a conversation with lots of emotions.

😤 😡 😣They are annoyed, irritated, frustrated, and trying to pretend that they're not. Yet, when I ask my clients what happens when they are annoyed, irritated, or frustrated, they tell me things like:
  • My lips purse 
  • My face gets red
  • My eyebrows furrow
  • My heart races, and so do my words
  • Then, I struggle to get the words out

🙈 And although they know they can't hide all these things, they hope the other person doesn't notice. But they are only kidding themselves.

Deep down, you know that others probably pick up on it even when you pretend you aren't annoyed, irritated or frustrated. 


You need to manage your emotions so you can engage in the conversation
​The truth is emotions will arise during difficult conversations. As much as we might try to conceal them, our nonverbal cues and internal experiences can be telling. Rather than suppressing or denying these emotions, you need to acknowledge and address your emotions to deal with a challenging conversation confidently.

🤔 Before the conversation:
  1. Take time to process your emotional response to the upcoming conversation.
  2. Identify what parts of the conversation might trigger you and how you'll remain in control of your emotions if that happens.
  3. Be intentional about what emotions you want to feel during the meeting and what will help you create those emotions. 


My client experienced an ah ha
A client told me she wanted to stop being so passionate in conversations. I asked her how passion shows up during a conversation. When she's passionate, my client said she talks a lot, talks fast and gives lots of details.


🟦 I want to stop being passionate
I suggested that instead of shutting the passion off that, she manage the passion and focus on being clear and concise in her message and then pausing, allowing the other person time to soak it and respond. Passion isn't the issue. That is, in fact, what we are looking for👇🏻

🟦 Oh wait...I do want to be passionate
If I asked you how you want to feel about your job, you might tell me you want to feel engaged, excited, and eager to be there. Wouldn't you say that's passion? So when the behaviour of someone on your team is negatively impacting a client, why wouldn't you be passionate?
✅ It's how you use that passion that's important.

🟦 Ah, I have to learn to manage my passion
When my client realized this, she was very intrigued. She does care deeply about the work she and her team are doing. It's no wonder she's passionate.
🌱 Learning to manage it rather than shutting it off is her place for growth!


You need to choose the emotions you want to bring into the conversation
​When you prepare ahead of time, you'll approach the discussion with greater clarity, empathy, and control, paving the way for a more productive dialogue.

Remember, the way we approach the conversation has a profound impact on its outcome. Difficult conversations are more effective when we focus less on content and more on the connection. The best way to do that is to let go of being right and understood and instead become curious and seek to understand.

Often, our natural inclination during difficult conversations is to seek to be understood. We aim to get our point across, make our case, and ensure our perspective is acknowledged. However, a shift in mindset is necessary for building strong, trusting relationships with your employees. Instead of solely focusing on being understood, cultivate a genuine curiosity to understand the other person's viewpoint. Doing so creates an environment that encourages openness, empathy, and collaboration.


Seven Mantras to Help You Through Tough Conversations

1️⃣ Curiosity is critical
  • Ask what and how questions that point to the future.

2️⃣ Emotions are everything
  • Learn to manage them, not shut them off.

3️⃣ Pause before you proceed
  • Take time to prepare for the conversation.
  • Take 3 minutes to ground yourself before going into the conversation.

4️⃣ Connect before you continue.
  • Look them in the eye and genuinely ask them about their day or how they are doing. Connect to them as a person before you dive into the content.

5️⃣ Put the relationship before the responsibility
  • Yes, you need to address performance, AND your job as a leader is to build new leaders. That takes a strong, trusting relationship.  

6️⃣ It's not just about the content; it's about the connection
  • Being curious about their mindset, point of view and circumstances while having empathy and outlining expectations takes extra effort. But you can do this! 

7️⃣ The inner work is the work!
  • Leadership is about personal growth. You won't truly grow as a leader until you grow yourself as a person.


Your focus needs to be on WHO you will be while you are talking about the WHAT
​When you prepare for difficult conversations, remember that the strength of your connection is the key part. By focusing on the type of person you are in those conversations, you can create a safe space that promotes understanding, collaboration, and growth. Remember, it's not just about the content; it's about the connection. 


📗 If you need help, read this:
​You may want some help to learn to dig deep and focus on how to have a conversation rather than what you will discuss if the conversation takes some work.

Fellow coach Michael Bangay, Stanier recently published his latest book, How to Work with Almost Anyone.
In it, you will learn five questions for building possible relationships with some of those people you aren't sure you will ever get along with.

I highly recommend that you grab it and do the work to focus on how to have conversations, not just the content of the conversations.

When you do, it will be incredible peace to help you manage your emotions and increase your emotional intelligence while having those conversations with difficult people. 

 p.s. The inner work IS the work! Where will you start today to grow yourself from the inside out?
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    Kathy Archer

    Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.
    ​
    ​In my online courses and coaching I teach them inner and outer tools to restore their lost confidence so they can move from surviving to thriving in both leadership and life.

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