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Make reading a part of your 2020 leadership plan! Ongoing growth and development is a critical component of leadership! You should be reading! Maybe you think you don't have time. Make time! Seriously. Create tiny pockets of time that you can read or listen to a book. It will change both your leadership and your life!  YOUR TURN: What made your list of 2019 books?
Comment below and tell me what books I should put on my 2020 reading list!
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If you can't remember the last time you read a book, took a course that wasn't required training for the job, or spent a few minutes reflecting on your personal growth lately, then my dear, it's no wonder you feel crappy half the time! You feel crappy because you keep going around and around I'll be honest with you. It sucks being a hamster when you are supposed to be a leader. Yet that's where many leaders are.  Far too many leaders focus on the same old stuff every day! Round and round you go. Sure, you might experience a different flavour of crisis. The drama today could sound a bit different. Yet, when you look back over the last year or two, does it look the same? Are you trapped? If you keep experiencing basically the same crisis and dramas every day, that might be because you've become trapped in the same spot. It's like swamp water that doesn't move, and it's why you feel icky. If you feel icky, perhaps your growth & development has stagnated Are you living in the past? Just like those who still have the 80's hair doo, are you approaching problems with the same mindset and skillset that you learned 10, 20 or 30 years ago? Those old ways are not going to keep you at the forefront of leadership or help you to enjoy life. Do you want to know what else is causing you grief? Let me explain something that you may not have considered. If you are like many women leaders, at times, you struggle with imposter syndrome. Instead of feeling competent, capable and confident, you feel:
To get out of imposter syndrome, you need the training to feel competent and thus confident! If you aren't getting the training you need, then you keep feeling like you are incapable, insecure and incompetent. Ongoing personal & professional development is your path to confidence Here's how to get moving Strong, confident and capable leaders are those that are continually learning and growing. And let me tell you a little secret, it's by engaging in ongoing personal and professional development that you will find success in leadership and happiness with life. But you may be hung up here Here is the extra challenge. If you are like most women, you are:
Let me tell you a little secret:
THREE FREE PLACES TO LEARN
THREE LOW-COST PLACES TO LEARN
 THREE WAYS TO FIT TRAINING IN
Remember, effective leaders, ️️️√ Focus on learning and growth. √ They are continually developing themselves √ Keep the knowledge flowing through them and onto the people they serve. DO THIS
Remember, ongoing personal & professional development is your path to confidence. If you want help to find low-cost ongoing training, learn more about The Training Library below.
I bet you are so done with survival mode, and you want to move to thriving 😀 You are looking for some work-life balance, more success in your career, to be doing fulfilling work and enjoying the people you are working with. That's not much to ask for, is it? No, my dear, it's not! You have every right to have all of those things and what's more… It is possible! Keep reading to find out how!!  Let us start with the question: Why haven't you attained all of that yet? My guess is that you have not found balance, fulfilment and confidence because your THINKING is tanking your success. It's time to learn how to shift your mindset to the mindset that it is actually going to help you get the success you desire!
Yet, my guess is instead, you doubt yourself!
This kind of THINKING is called a curriculum mindset. When you have a curriculum mindset, you are always asking yourself:
Curriculum mindset example # 1 GOAL: Create more work-life balance. PATH: I need to learn how to set boundaries Great, but how are you going to learn to set better boundaries? You just can't wish that you're going to be better at setting boundaries. You can't just hope that one day you're just going to magically feel more confident and be able to set better boundaries. That is hope with no action. You need tools to help you. TOOLS: In my mind, if you don't have a binder or book and a pen to write things down, you are not learning strategically. Your tools are:
Curriculum mindset example # 2 Maybe you want to be able to maintain your composure during tough conversations. But remember, you are not going to become a more emotionally intelligent person by wishing it would happen, You're certainly not going to become more emotionally intelligent by waiting for your boss to stop being such a jerk. That's not going to change you. You have to become response-able! Take responsibility by developing your curriculum mindset: What do I need to learn, and how will I learn it? GOAL:: Stay composed during tough conversations. PATH: Learn more about emotional intelligence and how to control my thoughts and emotions TOOLS: Watch Kathy's webinar: Saying composed during those tough conversations is to increase your emotional intelligence. When you create your learning curriculum, things start to change for you. Your curriculum mindset will get you out of survival mode and moving towards THRIVING!!! ⭐️MY CHALLENGE TO YOU⭐️
🆘 A TOOL TO HELP WITH YOUR LEARNING CURRICULUM If you need some help with the tools, I've created The Training Library for you!!!! Inside of The Training Library are the courses to help you get out of survival mode. There are courses to build your competence and confidence. I've included webinars for you on emotional intelligence and maintaining your composure. AND...I'm doing a study group on one of the courses! For 7 weeks, I'm going to be guiding you through the Willpower Essentials course, week-by-week in the Willpower Essentials Study Group.
Don't forget to watch your THINKING! Think you can and then take responsibly for making it happen! 🤗 Do any of these sound familiar to you:
If you are all too familiar with these phrases and want to change that, keep reading. I am going to show you how to move from just surviving to thriving in both leadership and life! Want to listen to this article instead? Click here to listen to this article  The Surviving to Thriving Continuum Sadly, far too many women leaders like us regularly recite similar lines like "Just get me through today!" Regardless of the version, each of these mantras is a red flag signalling that you might be in survival mode. We've all been there at some point or another. Survival mode becomes a problem when you live there, rather than visit there. There will always be busy times. Leaders are constantly involved in the ebb and flow of new projects, shifts in contractual expectations, and annual cycles of budgets, performance reviews, grant proposals or contract renewals. It's the job. There is no way around it. I am not talking so much about work itself. Instead, I am focusing on your attitude towards the work, how you balance your workload and the impact the work has on you. The effect on you falls on a continuum. Let's first look at opposite ends of the gamut. 😯Survival Mode: Survival mode is characterized by fear. You are always afraid of falling apart, dropping the ball or losing it emotionally. You are barely hanging on, just getting by or just trying to stay alive. In survival mode, it feels like everything is a battle, and you must suffer through it or endure the storm. You have little energy, are negative, cynical or openly apathetic. Perhaps you've found yourself muttering "Whatever!" a little too frequently. Those in survival mode tend to feel isolated and alone. It doesn't feel like anyone cares about you or that you have anyone on your team. It often seems like "they" are out to get you.
This end of the spectrum, survival, is marked by crisis management, putting out fires and only day-to-day sustainability. Lord knows you can't last like this forever. Burnout is knocking on your door. 🌱Thriving Mode: The thriving mode, on the right end of the continuum, is characterized by passion. You are growing and developing and 💜loving it, despite the challenges. To many, it is an adventure with a purpose. You are blooming and flourishing as you learn new things and take on engaging projects. Those in thriving mode tend to feel confident, courageous and resilient. It isn't that people at this end of the continuum don't encounter challenges; the difference is that they are confident they can handle challenges.
This end of the spectrum, thriving, is marked by feelings of being engaged, supported and connected. Leaders in thriving mode feel like they belong to a broader community of support and feel that they are making a positive impact through their work. It's usually not black or white Rarely are any of us entirely at one end of the spectrum. We are likely at some point in between. We ebb and flow daily. Depending on where you are, whom you are interacting with, and the day's agenda, you can shoot from one end of the continuum to the other pretty quickly. As such, most of us sit somewhere along the surviving to thriving continuum, moving around various points in the middle. 🔄The Middle – Coping Mode In the center of the surviving to thriving continuum is what I call coping mode. You are doing more than barely getting by, but you're not feeling so alive that you want to yell from the mountaintops about how much you love your job. Instead, you go to work and have some good days, lots of so-so days and a few insane days. The coping mode can also be thought of as maintaining. You're doing good enough, the best you can or at least less than bad. You exist. Some leaders are bored in the middle. There is no challenge, no pull or drive to fully use your skills and talents. Often it's a sign you have been in the same position for longer than you should have been. I find that in this coping mode, many leaders are tolerating, settling or complying with less than stellar workplace environments, teams, and bosses. Things aren't good, but they are not so bad that you feel urged to rock the boat.
Coping mode runs the range from short-term stability, meaning you could go on like this for a few months, to a way of life. Sadly many women leaders believe, this is just the way it is, and don't think they can change it. So instead of a period before things move one way or the other, leaders stay in coping mode, for most of their careers. Moving from survival to thriving The truth is you can move from surviving to coping to thriving at work and in life. You have a choice. You do not have to stay stuck in your current mode forever. For you to move forward along the continuum, there are three key things you need to do.
Do you want to know where you land on the Surviving to Thriving Continuum? Click here to get the assessment Be gentle but persistent as you develop new habits
This is going to take time and effort. But please don't think you have to do it all alone! I'm on your team. Each week I teach you the daily steps you need to take, and the mindset shifts you need to make so you can increase your competence, feel more confident and THRIVE, in leadership and life! Have you ever avoided a tough conversation, that you know you should have? We all have. Unfortunately, when we don't deal with them, they tend to fester and problems get worse. Keep reading to learn how to create a plan to get you through "that" conversation in a way that feels authentic and confident!  Let me start with a story: I have a decision to make today…..ok…let me rephrase that. I’ve made a decision, now I need to communicate it to someone, and I’m not looking forward to it.
❓️Can you relate❓️ Do you have a conversation you need to have with someone and are dreading it? 😩 Having tough conversations takes discipline. You need the self-control to do it, even when your inner self is screaming:
Your inner voice keeps you small! To shush that nattering voice that keeps you lacking the courage to deal with the thing with integrity you need willpower. Willpower is that inner will that will tell all that negativity to be quiet so you can awaken that courageous you that is hiding quietly in the background. Having a tough conversation takes willpower! And here’s the truth: You need to strengthen your willpower so you can handle that tough conversation and get done what matters most!💪 Here's how willpower & tough conversations fit together Let look at the components of willpower as they relate to difficult conversations. Willpower is the ability to: 💥manage your thoughts. 💥manage your emotions. 💥resist urges and distractions 💥focus on what matters most! Imagine being a leader who can keep your thoughts and emotions in check and handle a tough conversation with courage, confidence and integrity!!!🙌 Let's back up a moment Imagine the next tough talk that you have coming up.
My guess is several things could come into play.
Now, let's look at how your willpower, or lack of willpower may come into play. When you think about how you define it as a tough conversation, consider: 🔹What thoughts come up for you? 🔹What emotions are connected to those thoughts? 🔹Where might you allow yourself to be distracted? 🔹What urges do you have about that meeting? 🔹What will be important about focusing during that talk? 👉️Thoughts, feelings, resisting urges and distraction and focusing, all of the components of willpower are all going to play a role in that tough conversation. It will be your inner discipline or willpower that will help you stay engaged in a conversation when you don’t feel like it; You need a plan!!!! 👇️Here's how: The best way to stay authentically and courageously in that uncomfortable conversation is to pre-plan. You need to know ahead of time:
You, my dear, need to have a plan to use your willpower wisely. ✏️Here’s your homework. Identify the next difficult, tough or challenging conversation you have.
🆘Need help? If you need help strengthening your willpower and creating your plan to handle that next tough talk with your integrity intact, then join The Training Library. You will be able to attend the upcoming Webinar: How to prepare for a tough talk so you can handle it with integrity It's on Sept 25th at 12:00 MDT. If you can't make the session, it will be recorded and sent out after. **NOTE: This webinar is included in your monthly subscription to The Training Library
Not ready to subscribe to The Training Library? That's ok, just register for the webinar here. Hey my dear, What do these examples have in common with you?
 Have you hit a bump? The truth is, while sometimes things roll along smoothly, we often hit a bump as leaders, and that bump creates a small or a big, mess in our lives.
How are you approaching your bump? How you get through each of those situations, defines the future of your leadership journey. ✅Your style of communication ✅The resources you reach for ✅The strategies you use to grow The type of person and leader you become are shaped by how you approach each bump along the way. Can you learn anything from how we approached our bumps? Each of us approached our bumps in our own ways.
This is how our approaches shaped us. Do they sound outcomes you want? How each of us approached our bump, has shaped the type of leader we are today.
The question for you today is: What’s your current bump and what’s your approach to dealing with it?
⚠️Leadership is a hard journey⚠️ I don’t want you to go through it alone, in fact... You should NOT have to go through leadership feeling alone and isolated! ❣️You should have friends, mentors, resources and coaches! ❣️You should have a shoulder to cry on and someone to kick your butt into gear when you need to take responsibility for the change. Don't do this! I've coached and mentored hundreds of women and what I see often is this:
Struggle and doubt are part of the leadership journey. Leadership will have tough days. Period. There will be many amazing, insightful, exciting and enjoyable days too. But there will be tough days. It’s how you deal with the tough days, that will shape your leadership character! Create your pit crew: Your pit crew is a list of people that, when you hit a bump, will be there on the side of the road for you!
️DO THIS: Make a list of those people that you can call lean on, or ask for help when you need them.
Hint: It doesn’t need to be a real call. I have on my list, people I’ve taken virtual training with. When I hit a block, I’ll say to myself: What would Simon, Brene, Brian, Joni, Amy, or the Kathy I’m becoming tell me to do? Leadership is full of difficult meetings, tough conversations and challenging moments. But you’ve got this, my dear. You can do this. It just takes a little help from your friends - AKA your pit crew. Kathy 
Here are the two main links: Not yet a member of The Training Library? Find out if it's right for you here. Would you like to feel confident that you will be able to maintain your composure in your next meeting or conversation? If you are like most leaders... You have a tough conversation or meeting coming up.
But what you deeply desire is to feel composed. You want to walk away feeling like you didn’t get your panties in a knot; unruffled and clearheaded.  What gets in the way of that: Unmanaged thoughts and emotions. That’s the bottom line. When you feel flustered in a meeting when your nerves get the better of you, and you feel anything but composed, it’s because your thoughts and emotions have gone crazy. Your thoughts and emotions are in control of you instead of you being in control of them 🥴
I felt that way too! I know, me too! I spent years worried I was not in control. That left me feeling incompetent, afraid and wondering if I was cut out for a leadership role. Over time, I learned how to regain that feeling of being in control. Being in control of my thoughts and emotions gave me the courage, confidence to lead. Let me show you how, so you can lead your amazing team and make the difference your org can make! So, what exactly is composure? Being composed is when you are in control; in control of your thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Being composed is feeling calm, confident and in control! How do you get more composure? You get control of your thoughts and emotions by training your brain, which will help you become Emotionally Intelligent. 🔸Emotional Intelligence is being able to both recognize and manage your thoughts and your emotions. Training your brain, your thoughts and the subsequent emotions requires willpower. Willpower, or lack of it, will either give you a sense of composure or leave you feeling anything but composed in tough conversations. If you want to find yourself feeling calm, confident & in control in your next meeting, learn to develop your strength of will. 🦉Daniel Goleman defines willpower this way: "Willpower is the ability to consciously regulate what you feel and what you do". Think of any strong, competent and composed leader you know, and I bet they can regulate themselves! The good new is you can also learn to regulate you what think, feel and what you do too! If you want to become a more composed leader, grow your willpower! 
Ongoing training to grow women leaders in 🇨🇦 Canada's Nonprofit Organizations. Not a member of The Training Library yet? Join for $19.97 and enjoy a monthly webinar plus a library of courses to support your ongoing personal and professional development that is affordable and easily accessible! Discover the details here
YOUR QUESTION:
Kathy, How do I find the time to be the best leader I can be?
MY ANSWER BELOW: 
What this question says about you:
First, I applaud you for the question What that tells me is that you have a desire to be your best self and that you recognize that there's room to grow. That's true for all of us. None of us is perfect. None of us will ever stop growing. What that also tells me is that you have a growth mindset. You are willing to put time and effort into growing and developing yourself to be your best self.
Instead, you are choosing to be Response-Able...choosing to make a difference in your life — Bravo for you
Personal and professional development is your path to success in leadership and life!
MY ANSWER
Now, how to find the time to do some of the work to grow and develop yourself.
3 places to create time to do the work necessary for growing and developing yourself as a leader
1️⃣ Make use of existing downtime
The best example is all of the times in your life when you are waiting! For example:
2️⃣ Look at current time wasters / time fillers Consider changing what you do during some of these times:
3️⃣ Carve out time Find 15 minutes 4 times a week here in these spots (That's a whole hour each week!!)
Tada.... YOU just CREATED a whole hour each week to work on developing yourself! ?WHOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! ? Personal and professional development is your path to success in leadership and life! Do this right now. ✅Schedule at least two 15 minutes into your next week to begin the work you need to be your best self! You'll be thankful you did! 
Ongoing training to grow women leaders in ?? Canada's Nonprofit Organizations.
Not a member of The Training Library yet? Join for $19.97 and enjoy a monthly webinar plus a library of courses to support your ongoing personal and professional development that is affordable and easily accessible! Discover the details here
Why are women not rising to the top as equally as men in nonprofits? Because we are not! Here are the statistics in Canada's Nonprofit"
What is holding women back?
Charity Village recently is offered a free webinar in which the Ontario Nonprofit Network (ONN) shared key findings from their recent report Decent Work for Women and the 10 solutions ONN is working on. This session was relevant across the country as we all work together to change things.
Change though, won't come from a report. It will come from action. The challenge is, that many women continue to feel oppressed, bullied and lack the confidence to step forward.
We need to take this part into consideration as well:
Before many women are ready to come forward, they need to develop their courage and confidence. For many women, they will do that when they find their authentic leadership style and owning it.
It's about leading with confidence to be ourselves.
We need to become the female role models for the future generation of women leaders
For far too long we've been mentored by men, had male role models and seen bits of success by acting like men leaders, but feeling like frauds. That inner turmoil between who we really are and how we want to lead with how we think we SHOULD lead has cost us our confidence, career advancements and quite frankly, our sanity. You know I have been a strong advocate of leading aligned with your values, belief, morals and ethics. I've also been known to get on my soapbox more than once about how you need to do the inner work to get there. Well, back up on the box I get.... MY RANT: Here is the thing, my dear, authentic, compelling, impactful and enjoyable (yes, you can enjoy your role) comes when you are "in character" not out of character. When you are "acting" like someone you are "supposed" to be, you'll continue to find that you feel overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and lack meaning in your work.
I'm so passionate about this that I've devoted this month's webinar to helping you compete authentically with men for the leadership position and respect you desire by learning to lead with your leader character.
Not convinced character is critical for you? Let me ask this:
Which list of Character Traits do you aspire to?
Character matters, BIG TIME!
Do you believe you can have a fulfilling career, be committed to it and have a full life? I think many of us ask that question. We strive for it. We ache for it. Yet, there is a tiny little part of us...or a great big part that doesn't believe it's possible. Every time something happens, and we get swamped, have to travel, we get sick or our kids get sick, or....you fill in the blank...and we lose our sense of balance, we are once again wondering: Will I ever truly find work-life balance? Here's the thing, maybe work-life balance is possible, maybe it isn't, but you will never know if you don't try to find it! Are you ready to try? Keep reading to learn how!  The "facts" We do want "it all!"
The stigma Honestly, it often feels like you are "damned if you do and damned if you don't" If you give too much at work, you are judged as not being there for your family. The reverse is true too. Take too much time off, waver about travel or talk too much about your kids and your commitment to the job can be in question. The desire It's true. Countless studies and online forums have women attest to this. In a recent study from the Ontario Nonprofit Network, women identified flexibility as one thing they were looking for because they were struggling with work-life balance. We desire the freedom to have some flexibility so we can juggle everything a bit easier. The truth The demands in social media and the recommendations in reports are clear; organizations need to provide the right culture, offer flexibility, ensure wage equity and offer fair opportunities for advancement. While these are all critical factors, it's only half of the equation. The other half is you. The truth is you also need to step up confidently.
It takes two to tangle You are fully in the challenge. Rather than being the victim of the circumstances, I encourage you to step forward with hope, optimism and a belief that you can find a way to find more balance. The way - - > Change your mindset Finding a new way starts with the right mindset. Ditch the fixed mindset. That is the one that believes:
Instead, embrace a growth mindset. That is one that believes:
If you need some help finding the mindset that will help you find success, tune in to this training on finding your Success Mindset! The new truth We can change "the world" together. It's not easy. It will take time. But keep this in mind: Someone has to start. We are being offered a hand...it might seem tentative, but it's there. The sector is demanding equity, fairness and flexibility. It's time we do our part to make it happen. Believe with your whole heart, that work-life balance IS possible! p.s. This whole journey starts with believing you can do it. That's confidence, my dear! Make sure to grab your copy of Mastering Confidence and re-read it if need be! Do the free course that goes with the book and then take in extra training here. Master confidence and you'll be well on your way to finding more balance! |
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Kathy ArcherWomen leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead. Archives
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