KATHY ARCHER
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How to stop trying to do it all and START focusing on priorities

13/7/2018

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Do you find that most days you feel as though time is slipping away and you aren't getting done the projects you know are priorities? I am not talking about the emergencies that pop up. I'm talking about the things you really know you need to get at!
​
What often gets in the way of those priority but not crisis projects is when we try to do it all. 

In this training session, you’ll learn 3 shifts that you can make to stop trying to do it all and start focusing on priorities.
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Watch this session on YouTube here

LINKS from today's session
  • Join the CONFIDENT WOMEN LEADERS COMMUNITY here:
  • My top 7 Productivity Books GUIDE SHEET
  • Productivity Tips and Resources
  • Create your plan to get out of Survival Mode
​
Find MY BOOK - Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system
  • On AMAZON → http://amzn.to/2EuMmht
  • Get my book FREE on Audible → https://bit.ly/2wOoSEJ​
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Learning to Proceed

26/6/2018

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Once you’ve stopped (PAUSE) to reflect on what’s been going on (PONDER) and shifted your perspective on things (PIVOT) you need to back into action (PROCEED)

Proceeding forward by taking that action isn’t always easy!
  • Maybe you realized you DO need to go have THAT conversation.
  • Perhaps you made a tough decision and now you have to communicate it.
  • It could be that you became aware of something you have to stop doing

In this  training session I teach you the 2 steps you need to take to get back into in action.
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Watch the video on YouTube here
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LINKS from today's session
  • Join the CONFIDENT WOMEN LEADERS COMMUNITY
  • Get today’s GUIDE SHEETS -Learning to PROCEED
  • Find past GUIDE SHEETS here
  • Learn more about the MASTERING CONFIDENCE INTENSIVE here
Get all of the FREE Mastering Confidence goodies here
Find MY BOOK - Mastering Confidence: Discover your leadership potential by awakening your inner guidance system
  • On AMAZON
  • Get my bookFREE on Audible
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You can feel a surge of confidence now. Learn this proven technique.

20/11/2017

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If you are in the middle of something and it’s hitting you big time, you’d probably rather not be at work. The dread of this particular challenge is dragging you down. You feel it in your body, and you hear within as your thoughts, that echo around the common theme, “I can’t handle this anymore!”
 
You are feeling incompetent, overwhelmed and perhaps, fear that your credibility is slipping.
 
What if I told you, you can instead, feel more confident right now? In this article, you will learn the one question to ask yourself to remove that self-doubt and instantly feel surer of yourself. 
If you need CONFIDENCE NOW click here to get 2 quick strategies for immediate confidence.
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The diagnosis
If there were such a thing as a Leadership Doctor, they’d diagnose you with failing confidence. The one telltale sign, without the blood work or body scan, would be your negative mind chatter. The doctor could tell what the issue was, as soon as you mentioned to them that your thoughts were full of:
  • I don’t know how…
  • I can’t handle this…
  • I’m not cut out for this…
  • I don’t know what to do…
  • How will I ever…
  • If only…
 
What do you think about yourself?
Confidence is what you tell yourself. Nothing more. If you think you can, you can. If you believe it’s possible, you’ll figure out a way to make it happen. If you trust you will handle it, you’ll handle it. Confidence is a belief in your abilities, of your potential and of your faith that you can learn or figure it out. Confidence is an inner game.
 
Are you worried about what others think about you?
Where many women get stuck is that they wait for something to happen, someone else to do something, say something or offer them a better option. If you doubt, hesitate, hold back, or find you are afraid to say something, it could be because you want the go-ahead from someone else.
  • You can do it
  • I trust you can
  • I believe in you
  • I have faith in your abilities.
 
Their opinion won’t make you feel more confident
Sadly, most women leaders rarely hear words of encouragement like that from their boss, their board chair and probably even rarer still from their employees or colleagues. Praise, accolades or encouragement just don’t show up. But here’s the funny thing…even if it did, it still wouldn't make you feel any more confident. Because it doesn’t matter what they think, it only matters what you think!
If you need CONFIDENCE NOW click here to get 2 quick strategies for immediate confidence.
​Your confidence rises or falls based on what you think about your capabilities
You become more confident when you shift your inner dialogue. When your thoughts rotate around reflections about what you can do, instead of what you can’t, your confidence rises. To feel increased confidence, work to have these kinds of thoughts yourself:
  • I can do it
  • I trust I can
  • I believe in me
  • I have faith in my abilities.
 
To feel more confident, tame your inner dialogue
To be a confident leader, you need to be the encouraging voice inside of your head. Instead of the negative mind chatter, you need to:
  • Tell yourself you can handle it.
  • Trust you can deal effectively with the challenging conversation that is about to ensue.
  • Believe you can learn how to set boundaries.
  • Have faith that you can gather the skills you need to be an influential leader.  
 
Tame your inner dialogue
Confidence is what you think you can do. The challenge is most of our thoughts are unconscious. Learning to change your inner dialogue takes time. It helps when you develop a system for checking in frequently with your thoughts and adjusting them as necessary. 
 
The proven technique: Install a system to help you manage your thoughts
A system that helps you to pause your thinking and checking in with your thoughts is the first step. Once you pause, take a moment to ponder. Ask yourself if your current thoughts are moving you towards the feeling and outcome you desire. You may find as you reflect that your thoughts are keeping you stuck in feeling incompetent, overwhelmed and lacking creditability.
 
Ask yourself this question to instantly feel more confident
If your thoughts are negative, focused on what’s not working or circling around who needs to say or do something before you can feel sure, try asking this question.
 
To feel more confident right now, what do I need to be thinking?
 
The act of pivoting your thoughts to the future, to confidence instead of lacking confidence changes how you feel.
  • I need to be thinking I can handle this.
  • I need to trust my skills, resources, and experience
  • I need to believe in myself and my team
  • I need to have faith that I do have what it takes.
 
When you shift your thoughts, you proceed forward with increased feelings of confidence. You once again feel more capable, because you are thinking about all the experience you have, what you’ve done before and how much you believe in your project.
Women that learn this system find their confidence soar
Learning to use the system, taught in Mastering Confidence, has been a lifesaver for me! It is such an invaluable tool. I can use it midstream to switch gears. Where I used to lose it, I am now able to keep calm. Where I used to feel inferior, I now can regain my confidence. I not only present differently both personally and professionally, I now feel competent and capable. Rather than feeling like a fraud, I know that I belong, exactly where I am!
Sue Holt - Calgary AB
If you need CONFIDENCE NOW click here to get 2 quick strategies for immediate confidence.
When you manage your thoughts, you feel more confident
You can overcome self-doubt and feel a surge of confidence by following the system to regain control of your thinking. Every time you are struggling, or you hit a wall, come back to pausing. Stop long enough to reflect (ponder). Ask yourself: To feel more confident right now, what do I need to be thinking? Shift your thoughts (pivot), and take the next action step forward (proceed).
 
2 Immediate Boosts of Confidence
​Sometimes though you need an immediate boost of confidence to handle a tricky situation. You can find 2 immediate confidence boosts here to get you through today’s challenge.
If you need CONFIDENCE NOW click here to get 2 quick strategies for immediate confidence.
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A+ Lady Leader Series - Are you aware of the bigger picture?

25/7/2017

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​Spending your entire leadership day with your head down, pouring over only what’s in front of you, won’t get you very far. Effective Lady Leaders regularly lift their head up, look around from side to side and peer off into the future. They are “systems aware.”
 
It’s time to take a look at how you can expand your awareness to this broader and longer view of your work.
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​Excellence in Leadership Series
This is our second week in the Excellence in Leadership Series, which is looking at the skills needed to be an A+ Lady Leader. I am pulling these essential skills from The Leadership Circle Profile - TLC. TLC is a tool I use with the ladies in my Women with Grit program to help them become exceptional leaders.
 
Systems Awareness
This week in the series, I am focusing is on the skills of broadening and lengthening our view. That expanded view is what systems awareness is all about.
 
When you are cognizant of the systems around you, you lead with the bigger picture in mind. Instead of the tiny microscopic scene of the daily crises, the fires that pop up and the problem of the day in front of you, you adopt a macro perspective. Rather than using a microscope to dissect the immediate future, think of using a periscope and a telescope to look around you and ahead of you.
A community focus considering your long-term legacy
​The first thing this expanded perspective allows you to do is reawaken your concern for the welfare of the community you serve or the larger global community you are connected to. Next, it helps you to then connect your day-to-day work to the long lasting legacy you leave on that community. You start to consider how your leadership and the work your team does is of service to future generations?
 
When you are NOT Systems Aware
To put the skill of systems awareness into perspective, let's look at where many leaders are now. Instead of this long and broad view, many of us have a very tiny view. We adopt a short-term focus. So many leaders live in reactive mode, solving whatever problem pops up, putting out fires, looking for quick fixes or Band-Aid Solutions
 
Slow down and lift your head up
Instead, when you hone the skill of being more focused on the bigger systems, you widen your view and focus on the impact you have on the community, over the long-term. This requires you to step back from the urgency to fix the current crisis and lift your head up. It is about slowing down, looking around and then choosing a response rather than reacting.

3 skills to enhance
The three skills associated with increasing your system’s awareness are developing what is called community concern, focusing on being able to sustain your productivity and examining how systems are intertwined which is being a systems thinker.
​Community Concern
Our 1st focus needs to be on service to our larger community. We wouldn’t be in existence if we didn’t have our customers, clients or patrons. They create the need for our job, our team and our organization.
 
Start by asking yourself: What are we contributing to the community we serve?
 
Being concerned for your community starts with reconnecting to the bigger meaning behind why you do your job. It’s about purpose and passion. You got into this work for a reason. Most likely that wasn’t the pay cheque.
  • Why did you end up here?
  • What difference do you want to make?
When you keep that alive on a daily basis, you’ll be increasing your skills in this area. Being skilled as community concern is about connecting today's work to making a positive contribution to a larger community.
Sustainable productivity
Last week we reviewed the skills aroundachieving results. That is a crucial skill for effective A+ Lady Leaders. But an equally significant skill is the ability to maintain those results over the long-term. That capacity is called sustainable productivity. That means upholding consistent results long-term.
 
You sustain long term productivity by initially setting high standards, then, giving your team the resources and backing to do that. You must urge them along the way as well as at celebrate completion of goals. Being able to sustain long-term productivity means you care about the health of your team, both physically and emotionally. You can’t just pay lip service to health and wellness. You need to live this stuff, every day!
 
Too many teams focus on barely possible outcomes with less than adequate resources. It’s the old saying: Do more with less. We end up just barely surviving. That approach does nothing for employee’s health or the team morale.
 
Instead, when you hone the skills that help you sustain productivity, you become your teams trusted ally and enthusiastic cheerleader. You not only set high standards for the team, but you also show them and help them achieve those expectations. You and your team feel fulfilled in the process.

​Systems thinker
When we drop a pebble into water, the ripples expand in circles, affecting everything around them. Pebbles dropped anywhere in an organization have the same rippling out effect. Understanding this and thinking in this bigger systems way, allow you to see how everything is interconnected.
 
A systems thinker asks herself regular: How is this linked to that

Ladies with this view see the web of connectivity. HR connects to IT, and IT is related to Accounting. Any change in those systems trickles down to the employees and the customers. When you can lift your head up and take this broader view, you are honing your skill of being a systems thinker.
 
If you’ve seen leaders who micromanage, get defensive or quickly make poor decisions, they likely are not thinking about how the systems intermix. They are worried about putting out today’s fire. Systems thinking requires you to spend time analyzing how everything interacts. You need to see the complex connection between parts. When you can see the bigger picture, it liberates you from defensive micromanaging.
Grow your Systems Awareness Skills
Becoming systems aware helps you to lift your head up and take a look around. Looking up and around helps you to both keep your eye on the prize (your vision) and help you know what’s going on, that can either help you or hinder you on the way to that view way far off in the distance.
Hone the skills of:
  • Community Concern: Focusing more on your concern for the larger community, rather than ticking off your to do list and getting through the next meeting.
  • Sustain Productivity: Supporting your team to sustain long-term productivity as you set your sights on lofty goals.
  • System Thinking: Taking into account the complex relationships between systems.
Remember, my dear, A+ Lady Leader uses microscopes, telescopes, and periscopes ;-)
 
Want to learn more?
You can learn more here by listening to this session on how you can increase your skills to increase your systems awareness.
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Then, get awaken your systems awareness, download the guide below which will help to broaden and expand your view of your work.
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Weekly Facebook Live Session
Join me most Thursdays at 12:15 MDT for a Facebook Live session.
​

Ask me questions and gain insights as you learn to lead and live with more balance and enjoyment.

If you aren't sure how Facebook Live sessions work, learn more here.
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Move from feeling Powerless to Powerful

19/5/2017

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​This week's video builds on the last few of my videos. It's time to begin to realize how your thoughts are often making you feel more powerless than you want. That's because you give your power away. 

Let me explain more...in the following video.

In this video, I am going teach you how to turn your thoughts around to feel an increase of confidence via your inner power. Don't forget to download your free guide to help you start the process of first realizing where you give your power away.
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​Weekly Facebook Live Session
Join me most Thursdays at 12:15 MDT for a Facebook Live session.
Ask me questions and gain insights as you learn to lead and live with more balance and enjoyment.

If you aren't sure how Facebook Live sessions work, learn more here.
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Take back your life with this kind of hope

18/5/2017

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​When you pause and notice what you are actually thinking, you may have realized that the thoughts you are thinking are not exactly helping you get to where it is you want to go. AND you may have realized that you are not quite sure what to do about that. I mean really, it’s not as if you just snap your fingers and they are changed forever. I wish!
 
The trick is to change your perspective. It is to alter the lens through which you are viewing the challenge in front of you, the relationship that is frustrating you or changing how you see yourself.
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Shifting Perspectives
​Shifting your perspective takes a bit of practice. Once you train yourself to alter how you see things, you’ll get better at doing it more quickly.  There are two things you need to have when you want to start changing the perspective of your thoughts
  • Hope
  • Plan
 
You need to hope you can change your thoughts and you need to develop a plan to do that. Let’s break that down more.
Hope
Before I explain a bit more about hope, let me first let’s define optimism. We often get the two confused. When you are optimistic, you believe that your future will be better than your present. It’s good to be optimistic
  • I am optimistic that the economy will boost.
  • I am optimistic that the weather will improve.
  • I am optimistic that person at the meeting this afternoon will cooperate.
Do you see how, in these examples, you don’t have much of a role in them? You are basically taking a “wait and see” attitude.
 
When you turn optimism into hope, you take it one step further. Hope is not only believing your future can be better than your present. Hope is also understanding and accepting that you have a role in making your future better than the present. Rather than just waiting to see what happens, hope helps you to make it happen.
  • I am hopeful that I can continue to better my finical matters despite the state of the economy.
  • I am hopeful that although it might rain, I will find joy in our trip to the park
  • I am hopeful that I will maintain compassion for the person at the meeting this afternoon, because, she so is wildly passionate about her cause, even though she might be frustrating people in her attempt to make changes.
Do you see your part in each of the above examples? That is the difference between simply being optimistic and having hope. Hope gives you back the power to influence or change what is going on.
​3 parts to HOPE
To cultivate this kind of hope, there are 3 parts to consider; goals, confidence, and pathways.
 
First, identify your goal.
Your goal is your future desire. But it’s less about out there…and more about inside of you. What is the different inner experience you are looking for? In the context of what we have been talking about for the last few weeks, your goal is to have different thoughts. You now know that when you change your thoughts, it will change your experience of things.
 
In the second example above, the goal is not a rain free adventure. That is something that is outside of your control. Instead, your goal is to feel a sense of joy when you and your family are at the park despite the rain. The goal is inside of you: joy.
 
Next, consider your level of confidence in yourself.
Do you believe in yourself and your abilities to change how you think so that you will get a different experience?
 
Can you find joy despite the rain? Can you create fun and enthusiasm in those around you and turn the puddles into games? The question is, do you really believe you can change your thoughts and that by doing so you will change your experience. If you don’t believe that, you are not going to find that sense of joy you are looking for.
 
Finally, plan your pathway.
What route are you going to take to achieve that goal? What will you need to do, again, think inside of you, to get there?
 
Your plan might be that before heading out on the trip, you dig out the rubber boots. You may also pack and an extra set of clothes. But it is more than the outside planning here; the key is to plan how you will change your thoughts. You could design a shift in thinking from “This is not going to go well” to “What can make this fun for us?”
he “If/Then” Plan
As you look at your pathway to get to that different experience, you may notice some potential bumps along the way;
  • A cranky child.
  • An even bigger mud puddle than you expected.
  • A spouse who is not quite as hopeful as you are.
These can all get you down if you let them. They will turn sunny thoughts to muddy thoughts real fast!
 
When you are planning this shift in thoughts and experience, take those potential obstacles into account and plan for them.

If my child gets cranky, then I will remind myself to take a deep breath helping me to respond more calmly rather than reacting with frustration.

Use the If/then formula to plan ahead for how you will respond (conscious choice) rather than react (getting hijacked by emotions and events).

If this happens... then I will…
Another Example
Let’s look at the scenario of a meeting with the annoying co-worker.
  • Goal: To feel (remember this is about the inside of you) a sense of accomplishment and maintain a good relationship with this person by the end of the meeting.
  • Confidence: I believe I can stay calm and speak to her with compassion yet continue to move forward on the project.
  • Plan: I will notice when I start to get frustrated and settle myself down
  • If/Then: If I realize I am getting frustrated, I will take a deep breath and remind myself why this is both so important to her as well as to the rest of the team. I will use that sense of purpose to pull the team together to achieve an agreeable outcome.
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Hope + A Plan = The Ability to Change Your Thoughts & Thus Your Experience
​Cultivating hope and developing an if/then plan are important factors to building the skill of shifting your perspective. Remember, this takes time and practice. When you start to change the filters through which you see problems, others and yourself, you will start to experience them differently. Define the outcome you want, your goal. Believe you can, your confidence. Decide what you will do, if something goes wrong, your plan.
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Hope you can change your future, by taking back reasonability for your thoughts. One-step at a time my dear, one step at a time!
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Why you need a plan to deal with your pesky thoughts

16/5/2017

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Perhaps, if you have been following my videos, you are becoming more aware of your thoughts. 

AND...perhaps you aren't all that happy with some of your thoughts. Maybe some of your thoughts are annoying and getting in the way.

In this video, I am going teach you about creating a plan to deal with your pesky thoughts. Don't forget to download your free guide to help you start the process of planning to deal with those pesky thoughts.
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​Weekly Facebook Live Session
Join me most Thursdays at 12:15 MDT for a Facebook Live session.
Ask me questions and gain insights as you learn to lead and live with more balance and enjoyment.

If you aren't sure how Facebook Live sessions work, learn more here.
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Mind chatter - 3 things you need to know for more success

9/5/2017

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Thoughts, a voice in your head, monkey brain, or mind chatter. We call it many things, but it’s all the same. It is the conversation or monolog we are having with ourselves inside our head. What you need to know about that mind chatter is this:​
  • it’s there,
  • it rules your life and
  • you can manage it.
Let me break that down further.
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MIND CHATTER is there:
We all have thoughts; the majority of them are unconscious. It is the thoughts we are oblivious to, that often lead to experiencing our lives in ways we don’t want.
 
For example, many of us don’t realize that via our inner thoughts, we have been convincing ourselves that we can’t handle our overwhelming responsibilities, appointments and to do’s.
 
Yet, if you stopped and paid attention to your thoughts you might hear your mind repeating similar phrases like a broken record:
  • I’m never going to make it through this day.
  • I have way too much to do.
  • I’ll never get done this.
  • There is no way I can handle this.
  • I’ll be lucky to get through half of this.
The thoughts we have been thinking automatically have been inducing the sense we have of pressure, strain, and anxiety. 
MIND CHATTER rules your life:
What you think about creates your experience of life. Or…what you expect, you get. It is those unconscious expectations that you are setting for yourself that make you feel the way you do.
 
In the example above, your unconscious thoughts of overwhelm gave you the experience of feeling incompetent in handling your day. When you have those repeating thoughts in your mind that are reminding you that you can’t handle it, you create your sense of overwhelm. That draws your attention to notice everything that goes wrong, every second “stolen” from you and each extra task added to your list. 
You can manage your MIND CHATTER:
​When you become more aware of your thoughts, you can choose what you are thinking. Those different thoughts shift your experience.
 
Once more, using the example above, you could begin to manage your thoughts about your day. Instead of the catastrophic thoughts that you have about your overwhelming day, you can catch yourself going down that path and turn a different way.
 
By choosing instead to think about your ability to handle things and to be alert for opportunities, you change your experience.
  • I can handle my day.
  • I am good at prioritizing.
  • I will set a manageable list of what I can accomplish today.
  • I will look for tiny moments of time found through the day.
  • Even though it feels awkward, I will set boundaries with my team creating pockets of deep work time.

When you become more conscious of your inner thoughts and then shift them, you also find you experience your day differently. You didn’t necessarily change anything going on outside of you; you shifted your thought about what was going on outside of you. The tasks, meetings, and duties are still there; they just have less power over you. Shifting your mind chatter leave you feeling more in control and on top of the priority projects; not everything, but you know that it’s the true priorities that matter at the end of the day. ​
​The tools to managing your thoughts:
  • Breathing
    • Take a deep breath. That will bring you back to the present moment and more aware of what you are thinking.
  • Meditation
    • The practice of sitting still for a few moments a day trains your brain to be less automatic and racing. Instead, you cultivate a sense of groundedness. Practicing the skill of not reacting to every impulse that jumps out at you lets you be less reactive and more responsive throughout your day.
  • Journaling
    • By taking a few movements each day to journal your thoughts, you become more aware of irrational believes, unhelpful views and thought patterns.

Watch this video to get a better understanding of how you can change your mind chatter.
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​Developing an awareness of your mind chatter helps you to manage it. When you manage your thoughts, you manage your life. It is by handling  your inner world that you create the experience in the outer world that you desire. Remember, what you need to know about that mind chatter is this: it’s there, it rules your life, and you can manage it.

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It's all in your attitude and it starts with you 

30/3/2017

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​Almost 70% of the workforce is either disengaged or actively disengaged. That means they either just don’t really care and are putting in time or they are purposefully making things worse for those around them.
 
That leaves just over 30% who are enthusiastic, engaged and energized by their jobs. Not only do they love what they do, but they also go the extra mile to make a difference in their organization.
 
Which one are you?
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Your experience of engagement is probably mixed
​Perhaps a mix of both. Some days you love to be there, but most days you are dragging your butt out of bed and resenting having to the office.
 
Which group would you place most of your employees in?
 
Perhaps a mix of both as well. Some days they seem keen on helping out and supporting others. And at other times they appear fixated on making your life hell.
 
But what if, you could change it? What if you could both increase your engagement at work as well as the level of engagement for those around you?
 
You can!
 
And truly, it doesn’t take much work. What it takes, is a mindset shift.

Do this:
To re-engage in your work, you need to decide you will. That means you actively
  • start to see what is going right at work,
  • where you can help out and
  • choosing to make a difference. 
Don't expect overnight miracles
Yes, everything around will be the same as it’s always been, at least initially. But gradually, your attitude will rub off on those around you. Gradually is the key word. The second key word was your attitude.
 
Change your attitude my dear
Mindset. Attitude. It’s the same thing.
  • It’s your opinion of your co-workers.
  • It’s your judgments of the decisions made.
  • It the way you view problems….or are they challenges?
 
Your outlook on your job and your view of the people you work with profoundly impacts your experience of work.


​Wayne Dyer said,
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at start to change.”

What is your view?
Consider these examples. Do you stop at the first part of the sentence or shift your attitude and add an alternative?

  • ​She is so far behind!
    • or
      • She is so far behind. I wonder if she could use some assistance. (Support to others)

  • I can’t believe he just did that.
    • or
      • I can’t believe he just did that. I bet he’s struggling as much as the rest of us are with all the changes going on. (Compassion)
 
  • Why can’t she just do as I ask her to do?
    • or
      • Why can’t she just do as I ask her to do? How else could I communicate it so that she can understand my directions better? (Developing patience and communication skills)
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Shifting your experience starts with shifting your attitude
Gallup has identified 4 ways to improved employee engagement. But before you pop over there and read that article, check in to see what your attitude is.
  • Do you believe it’s possible to change?
  • Are you hopeful you can make a difference?
  • Do you have optimism that, although it will take time, it will be worth the effort?
  • Are you willing to take responsibility for impacting change?
 
Inspiring enthusiasm starts with you
On last week’s FB Live session I talked about Inspiring Enthusiasm in Yourself and Your Team.  We took Gallup’s measurement for engagement and flipped it around. Rather than waiting to see what others will do around you to make your work environment different. What are you doing to make that shift? Watch the live session here and don’t forget to grab your free guide here.
 
Engagement is an attitude. It’s your attitude or your mindset.  If you want to feel more enthused and engaged at work and you desire if for others, it starts with you!

Watch last week's FB Live session below:
Learn more about shifting your mindset and attitude here
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Confidence Hack # 2 - Believe You Can

26/10/2016

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Increasing your confidence as a leader is critical to both performing strongly and to feeling good. Confidence comes from inside of you rather than from external sources.

You don’t become more confident as a result of what others say to you.

Instead, your confidence increases when you tell yourself you can and when you then believe you can. That means if you want a greater level of confidence, you need to grow it from inside.
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Confidence Hacks
To help you out with your thinking, I’m sharing some confidence hacks. The 1st Hack was Know You Can. If you can’t do it, no amount of thinking you can do something will give you the feeling of confidence. That means you may need to take some training, read a book or practice a skill to become more proficient, adept or able, thus more confident.

Confidence is what you think you are capable of doing
This week we are moving on to the 2nd confidence hack: Believe You Can. This hack is all about shifting your mindset.

I think I can…I think I can…I think I can…
Do you believe you can? If you don’t, I’m sorry to tell you, but you are in for some big challenges! If you don’t believe in your ability or skill, you will hit internal resistance. That inner voice will tell you to should step back. It will suggest you let someone else take the reins. That whisper in your mind will caution you, that you aren’t quite ready yet.
​Believe You can
The confidence hack "Believe You Can" is about change your thinking. Your thoughts can either propel you forward, cause you to freeze or to make you pull back. If you want to increase your confidence, you’ll need to become aware of those thoughts and possible alter or tweak them. Sometimes it doesn’t take much of a shift in the words you are thinking. This powerful example from Alicia Keys reminds us of how quickly changing one word can impact us.

​Shifting from “If I…” to “When I…” is an incredible tweak!
​Here are 2 ways to tweak your thoughts to have the most power over your confidence levels.

Use Your Inner Guidance Cycle
Using the steps of the Inner Guidance Cycle (pause, ponder, pivot & proceed) will help you to become aware of your thoughts. The cycle gives you access to your Inner Guidance System, which is that inner wisdom. That internal insight allows you to notice the thought and then determine if what you are thinking is going to be helpful in getting you where you want to be. That awareness can help you to fine-tune the thought. 

When you think, “I’m not ready yet.” You tend to stay quiet at a meeting. Noticing the precise words you are thinking, lets you step back and perhaps alter the what is going on in your mind. If you’ve been practicing public speaking (Remember Hack #1 was about increasing your competence so that you Know You Can), you may then adjust the thought to “It’s not going to come out perfectly, however, if I keep practicing I’ll get better. Speaking up now is an excellent opportunity to practice public speaking in real time.” This transformed thought boosts your confidence and helps you to speak up. 
Develop a Growth Mindset
A fixed mindset keeps you stuck in a particular belief. When you have a fixed mindset, you don’t trust you can change or grow. You think you’ll never be smarter, more talented, a better speaker or good at conflict. The result of holding the belief firmly is that becomes an ongoing attitude of “Why to bother trying?" This stance kills your confidence. 

Instead, when you develop a growth mindset, you become open to possibilities. A person with a growth mindset knows that it will take effort and time, however, that it is possible to change themselves. 

Grow your growth mindset
To adopt a growth mindset, get better at asking 
  • “What if…” 
  • “I wonder how…”
  • “Maybe…”
When you make a habit of pondering what is possible, you’ll shift from the unconfident “I don’t think I can…” to the much more confident “Perhaps with effort and work I can…”
  • I don’t “get” spreadsheets and will never be good at them.
    • It takes me a bit of time, but I can figure it out.
  • I am not a good speaker.
    • I feel better about sharing my opinion at meetings.
  • I don’t “do” conflict.
    • Even though I still find it hard, I can approach difficult conversations. 
​Believe You Can = Increased Confidence
Shifting your mindset and the way you think can have a profound impact on your confidence level. First, use the Inner Guidance Cycle to become more aware of your thoughts. Then develop a growth mindset that keeps you open to change and possibility. That increased awareness and a mindset shift will heighten your confidence, so you can both have a greater effect on your leadership and feel good in the process. 
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Kathy is a leadership coach for women who want to strengthen their leadership & find balance in life. 
She mentors women as they rediscover their purpose, passion, and persistence for life while dealing with office politics, jerk bosses and the challenges of family life. Kathy gives her ladies the hope and inspiration they need along with a kick in the pants to make positive changes in their lives. ​​​​​​​

Discover more in Kathy’s book 
Mastering Confidence: Discover Your Leadership Potential by Awakening Your Inner Guidance System ​
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    Kathy Archer

    Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.
    ​In my online courses and coaching I teach them inner and outer tools to restore their lost confidence so they can move from surviving to thriving in both leadership and life.

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