We've all been to a nonprofit staff meeting where there are items that shouldn't be on the agenda. And often, it makes for a painful and long-drawn-out meeting. We wonder to ourselves or text our colleagues, "Why are we even talking about this?"

Often that's because nonprofit leaders haven't learned what belongs on a staff meeting agenda. Without training on how to run a staff meeting, we are left to follow what our predecessor did. If they did it for so many meetings, it must be the right way, no?

Not necessarily. 

Learning what goes on your staff meeting agenda will help you feel more confident, competent and in control.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are your staff meetings effective at doing what you want them to do?
2. Does your team find them valuable?
3. Do they grow your team?
4. Are your staff meetings 
   1. engaging
   2. collaborative
   3. productive
   4. worthwhile?

If the answer or answers are no, you may want to rework how you run them. 

Let's start first with what's on your staff meeting agenda.

Your staff meeting agenda should be prepared and provided to those who will be in attendance several days before the meeting. They need to know what to expect. Therefore, they may need to prepare. Additionally, if you are running an engaging and collaborative meeting, your team members may have items to add to the agenda. 

So what should go on a staff meeting agenda? Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself when you prepare for your next staff meeting 


Does this belong on your nonprofit team staff meeting agenda?

1) Does everyone need to know it and discuss it?
If it is an item that only certain people need to discuss, either put it on a different meeting agenda or put it at the end of their agenda so that those people who the topic is not relevant for can leave early 

2) Can it be done as an email update?
If you were providing information, an email update might be fine. If you need a discussion around something, you may want to give the email update first so that people have time to prepare before the meeting. It's important to be clear on the agenda item what the agenda item is. It's not information sharing. 

Instead, the agenda item becomes

• A decision to be made on A or B
• Feedback is requested on X. 
  • What's working and what isn't?
  • What can be improved?

3) Is it the right time?
Often we start talking about things before we have all the information, knowledge or information, and it can create anxieties, tension and confusion. Or we talk about things that aren't yet resolved, and really people shouldn't be privy to yet. 
Be cautious and trust your gut when you ask yourself, "Is it the right time to talk about this at this meeting?" Your intuition will know best. 

4) What is the point of sharing it?
Are you sharing information because it's something employees need to know, because it will help them somehow or because they need to prepare for it? If you can't figure out the point is for sharing it, don't share it. 

If you do know the point, be clear on what the point is. Please don't assume that everyone knows why you're sharing it.

5) Is everyone there that needs to be included to discuss this item?
It's annoying to have a discussion that can't be resolved because the key stakeholder isn't at the meeting. When this happens, we often go around and around, but no one can make a decision or answer a question because the person with that power, authority or knowledge isn't at the meeting. 

Be sure the key players are at the meeting for that particular item if you put it on the agenda.  

6) Do we have time for that discussion?
Some discussions take time. When an agenda is crammed full, and we throw a topic in there and expect to brush over it, that often causes frustration for the people in attendance. They won't have time to explore, ask questions, provide suggestions and dig deeper. 

Brainstorming, for example, cannot be done well in three minutes. If an agenda item needs more time, create a separate meeting for it.

7) Is this the most efficient use of our time?
Pulling a team together is costly and takes significant organizational time and resources. So make sure you're using that time and those resources wisely.

8) If this is a sensitive conversation, is it the right time to discuss it?
Even though some topics are relevant for everyone, sometimes those conversations are difficult. It's not always the right time to discuss them. That may have to do with what's going on organizationally, in the world, or someone's family. Remember to be sensitive about the topic you put on your agenda. 

9) Consider the urgency of the matter.
Even though everything may be relevant to the agenda, that doesn't mean it needs to go on the agenda. If it's not an urgent topic and the agenda is already full, hold onto that topic for a future meeting. Give time and attention to the most pressing things, not just for you in the organization but also for your employees. 

10) Is this the right place for this agenda item?
Lastly, once you've decided that it does go on the agenda, be considerate of where you place it on the agenda. 

Things that need more discussion and focus should be done earlier on. 
Additionally, things that need more composure for a difficult conversation should be done earlier. 

You want to end on a positive, uplifting note. Therefore ensure the last item will make people feel good as they leave the meeting. 

Running an effective and engaging staff meeting is much easier when you are more conscious and intentional about creating your staff meeting agenda. 

DO THIS:
1) Schedule a few minutes into your calendar to prepare your agenda.
2) Consider what belongs on your agenda, running potential items through the above list of questions.
3) Feel confident, capable and in control as you run your next team meeting. 

Preparing is one of the first steps to feeling more confident running a staff meeting. When you prepare your staff meeting with intention, you will feel more confident, and your team will find it much more valuable and engaging. ​

​
Do you love to learn? Perhaps not. I know that not everyone is a lover of learning like me. But what I also know is that learning is part of leadership. It's necessary if you want to be an effective leader to continue to grow and develop yourself.

But if you struggle with the learning component, it's hard to make it happen on an ongoing and effective basis. Yet when you do, the results are astounding.

• When you learn to manage your emotions, you can stay composed during a meeting even though you get triggered.
• TRY THIS: Managing Your Emotions at Work

 

• When you learn the difference between coaching and corrective conversations, you spend more time coaching your employees than correcting them. 
• TRY THIS: Creating Comfortable Coaching Conversations

 

• When you learn what not to put on the supervision meeting agendas, even though everyone else tells you you should, you find staff meetings way more effective at building your team and having them do what they're supposed to do. 
• TRY THIS: Staff Supervision That Transforms

Is your learning too shallow?
Learning in a way that helps you apply it and get value from it requires some effort. So often, when we learn, we're just going shallow. We read a book, listen to a podcast or attend a session at a conference and get some good ideas. And that's as far as it goes. Perhaps you apply one of them, but more often than not, it's a fleeting thought.


What if you spent 3 weeks diving deep into how to develop your employees?

Mark These Leadership Training Suggestions

Consider taking a topic like learning how to develop your employees. For example, perhaps you listened to Strengths-Based Leadership on your commute to work. Then you listened to 10 Ways to have better conversations with your team leads and discussed it. Additionally, you completed the course Staff Supervision That Transforms.


Do you do this as you learn?
As you read the book, listened to the video, and completed the training, you wrote down what you were learning. You also had a couple of discussions with a peer who read the same book. On those calls, you added any new learnings or deeper understandings of how to apply the concepts to your notes. Then over the 3 weeks, you went back to your notes regularly. You added to your notes what you continued to learn as it related to your day-to-day world. You also became intentional in identifying where you could practice or apply the concepts. 


What would you expect would be different in your leadership abilities?
Can you even imagine the change you might experience? I bet you would feel way more confident! Think about it. It's only a 3-week commitment. That's it. And it wouldn't require much time, just intentional scheduling of your time. 


Will you make a 3-week commitment that allows you to go deep on a subject?
To be a stronger leader, you must go deep on one subject rather than bounce from book to podcast blog, but never really dive deep. Are you ready to dive in?

1. Slow down, pick one topic, and learn about it in different ways. 
2. Consider how the concepts translate into your world. 
3. Apply the concepts. 
4. See if they work, what needs work, and try again.

Keep reading as we break it down more as you learn to create your 3-week learning plan.


How to deepen your learning into a leadership topic in 3 weeks

If you want to dive deep into a topic, here are three strategies. Once you've picked the topic:


1️⃣ Identify 3 places you will learn about that topic
There are a ton of places to learn from. Pick 3 that will give you various insights, perspectives and strategies. 

• Read a book
• Take a course
• Interview people
• Listen to podcasts
• Do online research  

 2️⃣ Identify 3 ways you will integrate that learning

1. Write about the concepts and how they relate to your work.
2. Have a conversation with someone else who's learning about the same thing and talk about how it applies to your work 
3. Create a tool measurement for scoring your implementation. For example, in Wellness at Work, my students measure their engagement at work and see if it changes. They use a Likert scale to measure:

• How involved were you in what mattered most at WORK? 
• On a scale of 1-10, how much time were you (1) Fighting Fires or (10) focusing on what matters most?
• Were you enthusiastic most days at WORK? 
• On a scale of 1-10, how much time were you (1) drained or (10) enthusiastic?
• Did you feel committed, not trapped, to your work & workplace? 
• On a scale of 1-10, how much time were you (1) feeling trapped or (10) feeling committed

** You can access the worksheet that measures this and so much more in the first lesson of Wellness At Work.


3️⃣ Identify a time to review your learning
Set aside 15 minutes and answer these questions

1. Do I feel like I've learned enough about this topic? What else do I need to learn?
2. Do I feel I've spent enough time strategizing how the ideas fit into my work? Where needs more attention?
3. What's the next step with this topic for me? When will I take it?

When you set aside three weeks to deepen your learning about a topic, integrate your knowledge by implementing strategies, and practice it, you'll find that a quick dive into learning something has benefited you exponentially. ​

Do you wonder how to be the best leader you can be? One who makes a difference, has a great team and finds some balance in life? 

Unfortunately, it's not the easiest thing to do. One of the reasons we struggle is that we don't see a lot of other women doing it, so part of us doesn't believe it's even possible. We need more women mentors. I keep looking for them and sharing them with you so we both have more inspiration.

Let me introduce you to Yvette Vargas.

I was listening to an interview with Yvette, Head of Development at Citizen's Bank in the states. Yvette was part of a Women in Leadership conversation series for LHH, an organization that focuses on recruitment, assessments, coaching, and career transitions.

I found Yvette's story, persistence and intentional personal and professional growth as a woman leader inspiring. So many of the suggestions she made for women in leadership had me thinking of the four fundamentals I teach leaders.

Let's dive into them together.

The four fundamentals of leadership:

1. Be yourself
2. Develop yourself
3. Take care of yourself
4. Teach others to do the same

Lead with Authenticity - Be yourself
On Citizen's Bank website, Yvette is quoted as saying, "I used to have separate selves — mother to my children, wife to my husband, caretaker to my parents, employee and friend. I thought that compartmentalizing my 'different selves' would help me manage each relationship better," she said. However, it's only by working to integrate her selves — and finding a job that allows her to bring every aspect of herself to work — that she's found true meaning in her career.

This quote speaks to the authentic nature that we need to lead with. We are not separate people in different aspects of our lives. We are one person doing various things. The more authentic you are, the more confident and comfortable you will feel, and you'll make a more considerable contribution.

To help you lead your best, I encourage you to identify your strengths, gifts, and personality traits. Then, do the work to figure out who you are and authentically be who you are daily. 


START HERE:

• Begin by identifying and clarifying your values in the Values Verification course.
• Then move on to identifying your VIA character strengths.

Continue to grow yourself personally and professionally - Develop yourself
Intentionally developing yourself is critical to becoming the leader you want to be. Yvette spoke in the interview about being very intentional about this. She indicated you need to develop your growth plant and intentionally spend time working on yourself. 

"The amount of time you spend on something is a manifestation of what you value."

If you value your growth and development, you'll put time into growing and developing yourself. 


START HERE:

•  Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development
•  Evaluate your Training and Growth 

Be a balanced leader - Take care of yourself
4️⃣As I listened to Yvette, I could tell she has drive. That's different than being driven. When the work drives you, it becomes a problem. When you drive the work, you do that with intentionality. You also need the energy to do that! That means you need to take care of yourself. 

But Yvette wasn't always that way. She tells the story of needing to shift from being driven by her career to intentionally creating her life and career simultaneously—that required intentionality and self-care.

Taking care of yourself it's not something you do just outside of work. It is something you do all day long. Start by adding teach micro-moments of wellness into your workday.


START HERE:

• Learn how to add Wellness AT Work
• Take 5 minutes to take care of yourself

Be a leader, teacher, mentor and coach - Teach others to do the same

I love Yvette's story of supporting other women to grow and pulling them up as you advance. She learned this early on from her mother and sisters. She's been clear about continuing to do it throughout her career. She sees a large part of her role is developing others. 

When we teach others to be themselves, develop themselves and take care of themselves, we do this through mentoring, guidance, coaching and leadership. Our job as a leader is not always correct and fix employees. Our job as leaders is to help our employees reach their full potential.


START HERE:

• Learn how to do: Staff Supervision That Transforms
• Create Comfortable Coaching Conversations with your employees

The four fundamentals of leadership:

1. Be yourself
2. Develop yourself
3. Take care of yourself
4. Teach others to do the same

To learn more about these fundamentals, tune into this episode of the podcast.


What strategy, suggestion, or idea will you begin with today? Hit reply and tell me where you are starting and what you are inspired to awaken in yourself after listening to Yvettes' story.

Perhaps as a nonprofit leader, I'm guessing you can relate to my challenge. I was nattering along in my head the other day about something not going right, as we all do at times! Suddenly I stopped myself, and out loud, I said, "Thank you. That's not part of the vision."


My negative mind chatter needed to change fast!
The direction I was going with my mind chatter was definitely not the direction I wanted it to be going in my head or my life. Swirling down with negativity was not going to help my situation. Instead, pausing, expressing gratitude, and then reminding myself of my vision was much more helpful.


I shifted my mind with this powerful statement.
The statement "Thank you. That's not part of my vision" comes from the book The Ant and the Elephant, which I read last week. In this easy, quick read by Vince Poscente, he encourages us to realize the enormous potential of our unconscious mind and how that can help us lead ourselves and others. 

I totally recommend this book to any leader who wants to inspire and motivate their team.


Don't get caught up in this trap.
What happens for many of us is that we tend to focus on what's wrong and try and fix it. But unfortunately, focusing on what's wrong makes us pessimistic, which leads to frustration, bitterness, anger, resentment etc. You get the picture.


It won't help you create an engaged team.
Feeling negative, bitter and frustrated doesn't make you feel any better, and it certainly doesn't motivate and inspire those around you to do better. Furthermore, that kind of attitude will not engage your team; it also helps to make your employees feel connected, inspire loyalty and thus encourage retention of good employees. 

Instead, when you can pull in towards the vision with inspiration, you'll get a whole different response. 


Gratitude makes the important shift in attitude that will create engagement.
Starting with gratitude is not often thought of as a tool to lead well. Sure it's a happiness booster and something we like to add for feel good extras but using gratitude as a staple in leadership is not something many of us have been taught or currently practice. But it is.


Now, back to my learning from The Ant and the Elephant. Why is this statement, "Thank you. That's not part of the vision," so powerful for leaders? Let's break down each component.


How to use gratitude to be a better nonprofit leader in 3 easy steps

First, we have to pause
First, we have to pause.
Pausing helps us get out of a negativity cycle, reactionary mode and brings us back to the present moment. In addition, it evokes mindfulness, something we all need a bit more of.


Second, we express gratitude.
Second, we express gratitude. Thank you.

The trick is that you can't be angry and grateful simultaneously. You can't be bitter, frustrated and annoyed and feel a sense of appreciation inside of you.

Expressing gratitude recognizes that, while maybe we are where we want to be, there are lessons to be learned about how we got here. Perhaps we are grateful for the reminder to get out of the negativity cycle. But gratitude turns us around.


Finally, we redirect our thoughts.
Finally, we redirect our thoughts. That's not part of the vision.
Do you have a vision? This statement reminds us that we need a vision individually and as leaders. It's an opportunity for us to reconnect to that vision and connect those around us to the vision.

Remember, if you don't know where you're going, any path will get you there. Leading your team around aimlessly is not going to help you generate engagement, motivate people or inspire loyalty. 

So you need to know where you're going! 

• What vision do you have for the type of leader you want to be
• What's the vision you have for the kind of team you want to lead
• What's your vision for the impact you want you and your team to make?

When you pull all these three together, you can see how important each piece is.

1. Pause
2. Express gratitude
3. Connect to the vision

Pausing and starting with gratitude is not always easy. Gratitude seems too easy or too fluffy. But, gratitude is more than that.


Gratitude isn't a thing. It's a feeling.
It is not just an attitude of gratitude. Nor is it simply to practice gratitude. It starts with a feeling of gratitude. When I say feel, I mean that literally ⬇️


We need to feel the transcendent sensation of 🙏🏻 gratitude in our bodies.
We need to feel it inside of us before we express it verbally.
We need to feel it viscerally before the expression of gratitude can be genuine.
And when we do this often, we create a culture of gratitude that pulls our team in, engages them and inspires them.


Here is an example of the 3 steps in practice
Let's imagine the employee it's a negative comment under staff meeting. You've just shared a slight shift to the new procedure. One way to respond is to get defensive and explain it again, this time a little bit louder with more emphasis. We all know how that's gonna go! 


Another way is to say:
"Thank you for sharing your views. Your frustration shows you care.
I know changes aren't always easy. However, the vision I have is that once we get through the sticky parts of the change, and yes, we may still have to make some amendments, but once we get through all of those, I'm expecting that we'll find it makes a big difference for our client's outings."


Thank you! That's not part of the vision! But let me tell you what is part of the vision...
 
Extra resources for leadership gratitude
This month in The Training Library, my students are receiving a new lesson on gratitude for leaders.


As a member of The Training Library, you'll receive a video lesson giving you strategies for implementing gratitude as a leader. Additionally, the worksheet students receive will take you from simply expressing "I'm grateful for..." to a whole other way of thinking about gratitude each day and applying it to your own life and your leadership.


Inspiring your team - 3 steps:

1. It starts with pausing.
2. Then, feeling and then expressing gratitude.
3. Finally, connecting to your vision.

When you apply these three steps daily, you'll be on your way to enjoying impactful leadership.

Are you anxious about losing momentum over the summer on some key projects and initiatives that your team is working on? As employees move into summer mode, the ability to keep things rolling can be challenging and trying for leaders.

Fear not! Here are 5 ways to use summer to gain momentum rather than lose it.

I'm distracted before holiday time
When I am getting ready to go on vacation, the final working days are focused on tying up loose ends so that nothing unravels while I'm gone. My mind is on red flags and potential hotspots. I am not focused enough to be able to sit down and do the deep thinking that is often required on larger projects.

I'm trying to get caught up when I get back
Upon returning from vacation, the following days are dedicated to putting out any fires that arose, catching up on the office happenings and trying to clean out my inbox. Unfortunately, once again, I am not usually in the right frame of mind to be able to dig deep on a project.

The day or two before we leave on holiday and certainly the days after 
we come back are often considered write-offs for most people. Combine everyone's time off, and it seems like a lost few months.

Therefore when someone is away for a week, it feels like you've lost two weeks to focus on a project. Add to that the sunshine, ice cream cones and the kids being out of school as distractions, and it's even harder over summer to get anything done at the office. So it's easy to see how we can lose momentum in team projects as people alternate being away for summer vacation. 

A leader can choose to see summer differently
As the leader in charge, it can be disheartening for you to see a project come to a standstill. However, projects do not have to get derailed over the summer. When you step back and see the gift in this shift of office rhythm over summer, you can put it to good use!

Summer schedules can allow more focused project time
The truth is you can accomplish a lot over summer because there are fewer distractions in many ways. In summer, there are fewer people in the office, fewer meetings and generally a slower pace. Use this to your advantage to get ahead on some of the components of the project.



5 ways to use summer to gain momentum 
rather than lose it



1️⃣ First, break the project down between group
and individual tasks


A meeting between two people can be more effective than a large group meeting. 


👥 A duo can:

• get ideas rolling
• outline options 
• create a starting point for the larger group to work from. 

🙋‍♀️ Individually, you can:

• Review the material instead of waiting until the meeting and asking someone to explain it to you. 
• Identify questions and email them to people so they can prepare their answers. 
• Complete research
• Prepare statistics
•  Draft specific written portions of the work

 


2️⃣ Block off time to work on the project


Our role as leaders is often mentoring. Therefore, summer is an excellent time to show how to get things done despite the season. Typically our calendars are less scheduled in the summer. As a result, it's easy almost to get almost lazy as we go through days. 

📆 Schedule time into your calendar
When you block off a set time to work on a project in your agenda, it gives you the ability to focus during those 2 hours. 

🗣 Communicate your intentions
Tell those around you that you are unavailable and not to disrupt you. Treat the time you have identified as if it were a meeting with another person. This not only keeps others from chatting with you but adds in the layer of accountability. By clearly identifying to others that we are working on a project, you tend to feel more motivated to stay on task. After all, if you say you are working on it, you should have something to show for it after. 

🙋‍♀️ Get others to participate
Ask participants on the team also to identify a block of time or times when they are working alone on the project. Have them identify what precisely they will be doing during that time. Ensure they commit to their part by a specific date. 

✅ Keep everyone accountable
Hold each other accountable for what you say you will be working on. Set conversation times with others for the afternoon when it is easier to get derailed. Perhaps meet out at the picnic table or do a walking meeting. Getting outside will infuse creativity and innovation into your conversation and give you some time to enjoy all that summer has to offer.



3️⃣ Set realistic goals for summer



Start by looking at a calendar and people's schedules to determine how much time you have to work on the project over the summer period. 

• Identify how many hours ⏳ you truly have to work on the project.

 

• Consider what you can accomplish 🤔 with that amount of time

 

• Write down your 📈 plans and targets. Be specific about:
• The smaller project components
• Who's responsible for which parts
• Deadlines, due dates and targets

🖥 Put the summer plan and targets in a place everyone has access to. Having identified targets to work on keeps people motivate and on board.



4️⃣ Build in frequent review systems



Review is a critical component of goal achievement. It keeps people aware, engaged and interested. Listed below are some ways to develop a review system for your team.

• Use online project management software such as Trello, Basecamp, Clickup or Asana to keep track of the parts of the project, persons responsible and deadlines. 
• Use a Google or Microsoft document that all team members have access to, allowing you to keep track of what parts have been completed and what needs reviewing. 
• Have weekly 10-minute conference calls for whoever is in attendance to update what is happening. Have them recorded so others can listen to them when they return from holidays to keep up to date. The key is these review sessions need to be very short and entirely on task. 

Get excited and lead your team to a productive summer
Please don't throw up your hands now and say it's useless to get anything done this summer. Instead, give yourself a knowing smile as you:

1. Set the intention that you will get more done this summer.
2. Get clear on what you are doing to do, when and who's responsible.
3. Choose to lead productively through summer rather than give up.
4. Make sure you and your team set a date for celebration to acknowledge the focused concentration over the summer!

What will you do to keep the momentum going in your summer project? Hit reply and let me know!


Is it time for you to work on you?
Is summer a time when you want to recommit to your learning journey, set your personal and professional goals, and get started on the next steps? You may be interested in this series of training in my membership site The Training Library 

• COURSE: My Training and Growth Annual Analysis: 
• WEBINAR: Create Your Quarterly Goal Setting & Planning Strategy
• WEBINAR: Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development
• WEBINAR: Quarterly Review

Summer is kicking off; for many of us, this means extra reading time. If your reading list and maybe it's lacking in the leadership department. Here are a few suggestions I have for you to add to your summer reading list:

Summer Reading Book Suggestions 

📚 Digital Body Language by Erica Dhawan

Some of us are still virtual, some hybrid. However, even if you're in the office full time, my guess is many of the meetings you have are virtual. On top of that, much of our communication is often via email, messenger or text. This book helps you understand the body language of digital communication. It's fascinating and beneficial. 
p.s. the PDF file that comes with the audio version is phenomenal! 
Find the book here


📚 Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

This book is not a book to read from front to back. Instead, it's a reference book you'll hopefully return to regularly. So take some time to skim through it and dig deeper into the parts that pull you in. This book helps you understand emotions and feelings and expands your emotional vocabulary. Developing your emotional vocabulary is extremely helpful if you want to increase your emotional intelligence and be a more composed and emotionally in control leader.
Find the book here


📚 The Five Levels of Attachment by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr

You'll recognize the author if you've read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. However, this book is by Don Miguel's son. He goes through how we attach to ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Recognizing how tightly you've grasped your view helps to loosen your grip so that you can see others' points of view, develop new awarenesses and grow yourself. 
Find the book here


📚 The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

Oh my goodness! No, this is not a leadership book. Today it is rated #1 in Literary Graphic Novels, #4 in Happiness, and #5 in Ethics & Morality 
But so many life lessons and reminders help put our lives into perspective. I listened to the audio version, which is less than an hour long and beautifully read by the author. I have replayed segments of it when I need those little reminders. 
Find the book here

I thought about doing a book club on this book. So if you read it, let me know if you'd be interested in that. 


📚 Think Again by Adam Grant

Much of our thinking is unconscious. I'm often encouraging you to be more conscious with your thinking. In this book, you learn ways that thinking can help us and some of how it can get in the way. The ideas open your eyes to how you may want to engage in conversations with different people differently, explore other people's thoughts, get their input and work together. 
Find the book here


📚 Mastering Confidence by Kathy Archer

Yes, I am also recommending my book. In in, I provide you with a framework for managing your thoughts. When your doubt, hesitation, and fear of imposter syndrome get in the way of leading, presenting, engaging in difficult conversations or running a staff meeting, it doesn't feel very good! This framework helps you rein in those thoughts and gives you structure you can return to when your thoughts begin to get the better of you again. 
Find the book here


What books would you add to the list? Comment below so the rest of us can add to our reading list too!


There are plenty of ways to brush up on your leadership skills this summer. Picking up one of these six books is a good start and see how a new perspective, idea or strategy can boost your confidence as a leader.

As you go about your day as a nonprofit leader, something may happen, and you may feel your body tighten. For example, your stomach knots up, your chest feels heavy, or your throat tightens or feels dry. Perhaps you overreact or shut down. This physical response may be a sign you may have just got triggered.
 
We often get triggered when something threatens our values. This response results when we feel something important to us is at risk.


Here's how I got triggered this weekend...
Let me give you an example. I value order. I like things to be in their place, and I like to have things tidy. However, this weekend I was triggered multiple times by mud on the floor and the result from when someone in my house who didn't think it was a problem not to clean their feet before they came in. (Can you guess who?)

We're in the middle of backyard renovations. Unfortunately, with this weekend's rain, my backyard was a mud hole. Each time my husband, the dog, or I came in, a pile of mud and dirt came with us. Because a sense of order is important to me, I would take my shoes off outside, ensure the dog's feet were clean before he came in and immediately sweep up any chunks of mud.


This is what triggered me...
On the other hand, my husband sees the mess as part of the process, so the mess doesn't bother him. So it's not a problem for him to walk around barefoot outside and come into the house. He values freedom, ease and relaxation. He likes to be barefoot, and walking around in the grass and mud doesn't bother him. The house will get cleaned eventually, so what's the big deal? 


Which camp are you in?

• The mess triggers me 
• My constant need to clean triggers him 
• Likely, depending on which side of the fence you're on, you'll feel triggered by one of our perspectives.

This is how knowing my trigger helped me
Knowing that I'm triggered by disarray helps me manage my emotions and be somewhat humourous about my incessant need to clean. Aware that the tightness in my chest is building, I can manage my frustration with my husband by managing my self-talk, taking some deep breaths or distracting myself with something I enjoy. 


Jenessa's story..
During a coaching call the other day, my client Jenessa became aware that when others aren't accountable for their actions or in-actions, or their responsibilities etc., she is triggered. Jenessa feels her chest tighten, purses her lips, and sometimes clenches her hands. She laughed at the memory of pounding out a response to a chat message when she was annoyed with someone shirking their responsibility. 


Does either of these feel familiar to you?
Just as...

• Disarray or messes triggers my value (need for) order and cleanliness.
• Jenessa found that when someone weasels out of their responsibilities, deflects blame or dodges accountability, she becomes annoyed and irritated. 

This is why identifying your triggers is important
Identifying triggers is part of working with and understanding our values to help us be more emotionally intelligent and confident in our abilities. When you know what's important to you and what it feels like when that thing (i.e. order, accountability) is being threatened, it's easier to choose a response than react in a way you may regret later. 

Below you'll find steps to help you find the clarity around your value to help you be more intentional instead of reactionary.



5 steps to use your VALUES to be more emotionally intelligent 

Here is the process to help you find the clarity around your value to help you be more intentional instead of reactionary.

1 - Identify your values

2- Get an understanding of what your values mean to you

• create a list of word strings
• define your value with a sentence or paragraph

3 - Determine how your values show up in your life

4 - Pinpoint what's going on when you are aligned with your values or not

5- Get clear on what triggers show up when things in your life aren't in line with your values
 
This deeper understanding of your values helps you to manage your emotions, navigate tough conversations and focus on what matters most when it matters most!


One more example...
If you are trying to wind down a conversation at a meeting, you may value timeliness or efficiency. Your annoyance with those who are dragging the conversation out is triggering that value.

That's why you are:

• Sighing
• Internally rolling your eyes 
• You may even send a private chat to your colleague about how the other person is dragging this on. 

Conversely, your peer may be

• Looking to engage others - they may value contribution
• Ensuring they have lots of ideas - they may value creativity
• Trying to get that one person who never talks just finally to speak up - they may value inclusion

See how that all works together?

Need some help?
This month inside my membership, I added a worksheet to the Values Verification course, helping members identify their triggers. If this is part of what you need, or the five steps listed above, check out the course here and if you think it would be helpful, join the membership here.

When you join The Training Library membership, you'll become confident in your leadership abilities, learn to bounce back when adversity hits, discover how to be your best self and find a place to belong!
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Becoming emotionally intelligent and confident in our leadership abilities takes time and requires skill development and increased awareness of what makes us tick! To do this, take responsibility for where you are and where you are going by creating your own personal and professional development plan. Intentional development is your path to success in both your leadership and life. 

Read this next:
The 8 most overlooked definitions in leadership and why they matter

I bet there are times you wish you could be involved in an engaging leadership experience? Not a one-off course, webinar or conference session, but an experience, over time, that deepens your learning!

In 2012 I did that. For 10 months, about 20 other leaders from around the world and I learned together, online and in person. Four times we met for a week at a time in California. Between those sessions, we met online and had partner projects that required us to meet in person with our partners. It was an incredible experience. It was also one of the most transformative things I've ever done. 

Not everyone can do something like that, but we can create learning experiences for our teams. Not training per se, but an experience where you learn, grow and develop over time.  

I am blessed to be working with a large group of nonprofit leaders for nine months to help them become inspiring leaders. Inspiring leaders motivate and engage their teams, so they enjoy their jobs and do meaningful work together. 

One of the first things I covered with the participants of the Inspiring Leadership group was the four fundamentals of leadership. They are the base for the future of the work we do together.

Even though you may not be involved in a group program, you can benefit from these fundamentals and use them over the next several months of your leadership journey. I'll give you a brief overview and share some suggestions that you can do to work on yourself! Then you can create your strategy and plan for growth.


The 4 fundamentals of leaders

Be yourself
As teenagers, we spent a lot of time figuring out our identity, answering the question, who am I? But as we mature, we have spent more time conforming to what's expected of us than who we are and are more focused on; how do I fit in? As such, we've often lost touch with who we are.

The first thing I do with individuals or teams is help them identify their strengths, values and morals. Understanding what makes you tick, thrive, and the triggers that make you react is fundamental to inspiring, motivating and engaging others. 

 Suggestion: Take time to consider:

• What are your strengths?
• What are your values?
• What is morally and ethically right for you?

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• COURSE: Values Verification: Validating What's Important to You
• COURSE: Understanding your VIA Signature Strengths
• COURSE: Understanding your VIA Signature Strengths

 Develop yourself
Ongoing personal and professional development is critical. For example, when I was in the ten-month leadership program, we had a list of required reading, each had a coach, and we learned A LOT about leadership and ourselves. At the end of the course, I committed to continue learning to be a better speaker and joined Toastmasters. I'm still involved!

 Suggestion: Create your learning plan

• What will you learn?
• How / where will you learn it from?
• How will you practice what you are learning?

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• COURSE: My Training and Growth Annual Analysis
• WEBINAR: Create Your Quarterly Goal Setting & Planning Strategy!
• WEBINAR: Develop your personalized curriculum for Leadership Development

 Take care of yourself 
Taking care of yourself is critical for effective leadership.

• You can't be composed when you are hangry. 
• You won't be focused when you haven't stood up in 3 hours. 
• You can't be decisive on 4 hours of sleep. 

When you don't take care of yourself, your body won't be able to endure the demands of leadership.

 Suggestion: Commit to wellness

• Start with micro-moments of wellness
• Create wellness habits
• Focus on balancing, not balanced

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• COURSE: Wellness AT Work
• COURSE: Bouncing Back from Leadership Adversities
• WEBINAR: The 5-Minute Self-Care Strategy for the Swamped Gal

Teach others to do the same
If you want the best for and out of the people you work with, they need to be themselves, develop themselves and take care of themselves. Teach, role model and mentor these habits to them. 
 
 Suggestion: Coach your people

• Ask them about their strengths, values, and ethical approaches. 
• Infused learning and growth conversations into regular supervision
• Ask them about what they need to do to be at their best and help them apply that 

Extra Resources for The Training Library membership members: 

• Course: Staff Supervision That Transforms
• WEBINAR: Creating Comfortable Coaching Conversations
• WEBINAR: Team Morale: Confidently boost the mood of your team!​

Starting the journey of mastering these fundamentals is critical for you to BECOME confident in your abilities, BOUNCE BACK when adversity hits and BE your best self!

Do you get frustrated with your team some days when they don't do what they are supposed to? It's a hazard of leadership for sure!

I was talking to Natasha the other day about a staff issue she brought to coaching. Her frustration was evident when she grumbled, "They know what to do! I don't understand why they are messing up so much."

As we explored Natasha's belief or opinion that the staff did, in fact, know what to do, we realized that perhaps some team members weren't clear on all the steps. Natasha had assumed that they understood what she had told them to do.

The key phrase to note is: Told them to do.

As we reviewed what had happened, Natasha realized she had basically told them what to do. She had not trained them, ensuring they were able to do it. 

Told to do is unidirectional. It is information only going one way. 
The most effective training is bidirectional. It is a back-and-forth process that takes time.

Natasha left the call understanding more about what she needed to do to support her team and on a mission to grab a book to help her learn how to facilitate her team's learning. I'll tell you about the book I pointed her to in a moment.

Do you wish you could train your team more effectively?
As you learn and grow in your leadership role, you might want to provide more effective training for your team. Bravo for you!

Don't make these 3 training mistakes!
Whether you are thinking about orienting new staff, training people on a particular function or role or more significant team training events, you might be making the following three training errors. As you read them, don't worry, because I'll also tell you how to fix those mistakes.

MISTAKE # 1 - Training people too quickly

We are a time-poor sector, and we're often squeezing training moments in between everything else going on. As a result, we often lack clarity of what we are teaching. We do a high-level overview and missing key points.

THE FIX: Slow down and be clearer. 

MISTAKE # 2 - Quickly checking in to see if they got it.

Again this connects to the first point with the keyword - quickly. 
Do you say these when you are training?

• Does that make sense?
• Do you have any questions?​

Here's why questions like those don't work so well. The unspoken assumption is that your employees want to look good. They want to appear capable and know you are busy, so they don't want to bother you too much. Therefore they're going to nod their head and say yes, that makes sense, and no, I don't have any questions. 

THE FIX: Slow down and ask better questions.

Try questions like these that will get at what they still need to learn:

• What part of this is still unclear to you? 
• Where do you need more details?
  
  

MISTAKE # 3 - Not offering time for practice.

Most often, when we learn something, we do not learn thoroughly by knowledge alone. We have to try it and fail and fumble and learn from our mistakes. Too often, we're trying to rush through training, and once again, we need to slow down and ensure that they have it.

THE FIX:  Build in time for them to practice and for you to give feedback

Here's how to become a confident trainer or facilitator
Training, orientation and facilitation are all part of a leader's role, but rarely have we've learned how to teach, orientate and facilitate. When that happens, we are doing something and often feeling self-conscious, inapt, and lack the confidence to do it effectively.

Don't do it alone!
Once again, I'm going to remind you you do not have to do leadership alone. It's OK to ask for help! That helped can come from a variety of ways… Including a book.

Get helpThis week on the podcast, I interview Beth Cougler Blom, an expert who creates effective and engaging learning experiences. In our discussion, we review the three C's of designing a great learning experience and touch on her book. 

• Check out the podcast: The 3 C's of Designing Great Learning Experiences
• Buy Beth's Book: Design to Engage: How to Create and Facilitate a Great Learning Experience for Any Group
• Grab her free downloads from Beth's book
• Check out some of the training that Beth does to help you be a better facilitator.
  
  

Ensure you are becoming competent so that you'll feel confident!One last little reminder...Confidence comes from competence. 
You need to know how to facilitate, train and do good orientation. But that competence doesn't automatically give you confidence. You must then practice using your courage to get out and fail and fumble as you continue to learn and grow. That's when you'll develop the confidence to thrive in your leadership.​